A Failure of Nerve (Revised Edition): Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix

by Peter Steinke - foreword, Charles Constant (Narrator), Peter Steinke - foreword

An invitation and guide for leaders “to cast a courageous and imaginative vision, to lead resiliently, and to be present and steady in times of deep anxiety.”

Ed Friedman’s genius was to see the individual in the family in the larger group, bringing the wisdom of his experience as a therapist and rabbi to the field of organizational leadership.

A timeless bestseller, A Failure of Nerve still astonishes in this new edition with its relevance and continues to transform the lives of leaders everywhere―business, church, family, schools―as it has for more than 20

Offers prescient guide to leadership in the age of “quick fix.” Provides ways to recognize and address organizational dysfunction. Emphasizes “strength over pathology” in these anxious times. “The age that is upon us requires differentiated leadership that is willing to rise above the anxiety of the masses. We need leaders who will have the ‘capacity to understand and deal effectively’ with the hive mind that is us. This is, in Friedman’s words, ‘the key to the kingdom.’ I am grateful for this accessible new edition.”

―C. Andrew Doyle, Bishop, Episcopal Diocese of Texas

This audiobook is expertly read by Charles Constant, with audio engineering by Mike Thal. It was produced and published by Echo Point Books & Media, an independent bookseller in Brattleboro, Vermont.

Audible Audio

Published January 20, 2025

Reviews

[Anton Beetge · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was an interesting read, but difficult to rate. The author has some amazingly insightful observations about an “anxious society” and its effects. He helpfully points out that the current trend of blaming leaders for unpleasant feelings which arise in followers as a result of their leaders’ decisions, is in fact, just a mask for immaturity, childishness, and an inability for people to take responsibility for their own emotional responses. He rightly shows that leaders who have a failure of nerve and cave-in to every negative reaction from their followers, in essence, abdicate their responsibility to lead.
What I didn’t find helpful was the preponderance of somewhat random and loosely related anecdotes, the heavy emphasis on the farce that is evolutionary theory, the lack of clear solutions.

[Stephen Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book suffers somewhat for being unfinished at the time of Friedman's death and for being entirely and unnecessarily reliant in its middle upon evolutionary assumptions to prove points that didn't need further proof, given that so much of what Friedman describes with regard to the dynamics of anxious leadership is manifestly evident from observation and experience. I almost wonder if he felt the need to lend "scientific" credence to principles that could be better categorized as "human nature horse sense" than pure sociology.

Moreover, I couldn't help but notice the lack of engagement with matters of mercy and sacrifice, which I hold to be fundamental to the exercise of good leadership even though (because?) they are fundamentally theological categories. Perhaps I ask too much of Friedman here, as he has not set out to write theologically, yet the caveat must be made for those reading Friedman in the context of Christian family and church leadership. This is not to imply that mercy and sacrifice are incongruous with Friedman's thesis - I don't believe they are - but they simply are unengaged in the present work and must be engaged in the context of Christian community. It seems to need saying that healthy "differentiation" can be an act of mercy and that enduring "sabotage" for the sake of the community's health is an act of sacrifice; it also needs saying that an over-reliance upon a concept like "differentiation" might quickly be used as an escape hatch from the inevitably and intentionally snug confines of life together in Christ.

All this being said, Friedman's basic diagnosis of anxious leadership and its effects seems spot on, along with many of his suggested remedies, and I would venture to guess that at least the first third of the book should qualify as a must-read for those called to heft the mantle of responsibility for a family, church, or community.

[Taylor Callen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Failure of Nerve had some good insights, but honestly it was WAY too long. Friedman writes with absolute certainty on all kinds of issues and often doesn’t actually offer any substantial proof for many of the things he speaks so confidently about. Instead of building a case, he often just throws out personal anecdotes to back up claims that at times felt pretty hard to believe.

There are nuggets of wisdom here, but I came to this book because of Joe Rigney’s Leadership and Emotional Sabotage, and honestly, I think Rigney sharpened and improved upon Friedman’s ideas.

[Nicholas Varady-szabo · Rating 4 out of 5]

The thing that stuck me most about this book is that it seems to be crritiquing "woke" culture before it hit the mainstream. At times I found Friedman's style a little overly intellectual and harsh, but I thought some of the core principles about building resilience and not giving in to anxiety were helpful.

[Kyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some great principles within, but it is a bit hard to follow and disconnected at times

[Steven J · Rating 4 out of 5]

Provides some really good insights and pretty grounded in Family Systems research.