It's Not (All) Your Fault: Self-Help and the Individualization of Oppression

by Sharon Podobnik

This could be the last self-help book you ever read.

Self-help books promise transformation and empowerment but rarely deliver real change. What gives?

Despite what we’ve been told, no amount of self-help, quick-fixes, or mind-hacks will get us where we need to go. We cannot transform our futures through willpower and hard work alone.

It’s Not (All) Your Fault reveals the ways self-help—though well-meaning—is deeply flawed and keeps us trapped in stagnant cycles. It makes all of society’s problems your problems.

Sharon Podobnik draws on extensive industry and personal experience to offer a fresh perspective on personal development and collective transformation, revealing their inextricable link and demonstrating that well-being depends on solidarity, not self-optimization.

Whether you’re a self-help enthusiast, skeptic, or outspoken activist, this book is essential reading. Through captivating stories and insightful research, Podobnik reorients us to our power, provides radical strategies for growth and change, and brings conscious awareness to what we already the future is a collaborative effort.

Despite what the world has told you, it’s not all your fault.

384 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 7, 2023

Reviews

[Lauren (Bookquoth) · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Change is hard when we’ve decided it’s hard and when we’re more comfortable with the known status quo than evolving into an unknown future. Change is hard when our identities are bound up with being perceived a certain way. But change is also a part of life. It is the experience of being in process, in evolution.”🧘🏻‍♀️

Well, I might be a little biased, since my friend(!) wrote this book, but I thought this was a great read. My favorite part was the author’s opening up and sharing of her personal experiences. 🧘🏻‍♀️

To be honest, I was a little intimidated by the title of this book. Or rather, the subtitle. I have very much enjoyed reading self-help books in the past and have gained some helpful insights from them; but upon reflection, I think they also make me feel overwhelmed sometimes because I feel like I have so much to do and so much to change, it feels impossible. 🧘🏻‍♀️

But this was not an intimidating book at all. It was thoughtful and encouraging. Supportive and inquisitive. It’s a kind of anti-self-help book, but in a good way. It doesn’t make you start hating the self-help industry, it just makes you start thinking and being more aware. A new and refreshing point of view has been opened up to me—and that’s what I love about books!🧘🏻‍♀️

Self-help can often suggest that all the sources of the unhappiness and/or dissatisfaction in your life are within your control to change—but that’s not really true. It promises to help you be the best version of yourself, but a version that is defined by someone other than you. Podobnik even goes as far as stating that the self-help industry is “a capitalist religion that helps us to navigate and participate in our own oppression.” 🧘🏻‍♀️

So if you’re into self-help but it’s not exactly working for you, this might be your book! You’ll learn a lot. Promise. 🧘🏻‍♀️

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I originally discovered Sharon Podonik through the subscription service she founded, Go Love Yourself. This company delivered self help books and pampering items to my front door. But my critical mind would often struggle with some of the content the books. So when I found out that Sharon closed the business and was writing a book that was revealing her own struggles with the self help industry, I did not think twice about backing her kickstarter.

I would say that I not only enjoyed reading her book It's Not All Your Fault, it EXCEEDED my expectations. Sharing her own experiences made the book very engaging and her research was extensive. This is full of solid evidence that self help tends to propose individualized answers to systematic issues, which I've often struggled with. It was also eye opening to me that the idealized versions of how a person should be comes from the perspective of a white person in power and that the self help industry WANTS me to feel bad about myself to keep me purchasing books. It's Not All Your Fault is a very important read, not only for people who are in an emotional place to question self help books they've read, but also for anyone who wants to understand the cultural influence of self help books.

I am also posting a longer version of this review on my blog: http://glamorousbookgal.blogspot.com/... and a modified review on Amazon

[Kady Ambrose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love being presented with an idea I’d never considered, and that’s exactly what Podobnik’s brilliant book did for me. I’d always seen self-help books as useful tools for making changes within ourselves to improve our lived experience. And they are that. But Podobnik’s revolutionary self-help book asks us to consider what in our physical, social, and economic environment creates the conditions that make us require help in the first place. Her ideas are presented with stories and lessons from her own lived experience, which makes the read entertaining and accessible. She also includes an enormous amount of references and research, which give it authority. She offers compelling conclusions about what is actually ailing us and how we can fix it together, which elevate the book from excellent thought piece to a blueprint for genuine, enduring, and far-reaching self-help. Highly recommend.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a rigorous analysis of self-help. It is both accessible and conversational—like many of the texts it criticizes—and academic, thorough. What I appreciate most is that this book is truly written for folks who enjoy a good self-help book now and then. It’s not needlessly critical or sarcastic about something people find value in, rather, it examines the industry from its roots to get at deeper truths surrounding the popularity of such media.

[Rebecca Torres · Rating 5 out of 5]

For all of us who have "worshipped" the authority of self help book authors, this is the book to read! Careful analysis with personal insights make this book an exceptional read to purge the "one size fits all" mentality that most self-help books seem to espouse.

[Micha Goebig · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute must-read for those of us who are conflicted about our need to “work on ourselves” and the self-help industry. Sharon gives her readers plenty of food for thought on their personal journey and for making a positive impact on our society as a whole, one baby step at a time.

[J.smyth.pdx · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the first books I read this year, which catapulted me into deep thinking, reconsideration, and the reevaluation of my success and satisfaction. Would so highly recommend.

[Cami · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent critique of the American Dream as it exists today. The book makes you examine how you live in the world and imagine a future that is big and impactful. If you are a reader of self help books who has felt unfulfilled by them in the past, try this.