Creating Harmonious Relationships: A Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy

by Andrew LeCompte

Creating Harmonious a Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy, Revised Edition, is empowering in a heartfelt way. It teaches the reader how to communicate wisely and effectively with other people. The basic technique is easy to grasp, and it is taught in a step-by step manner. It teaches how to listen in a way that invites the other person to open up and disclose what is really bothering them while also encouraging them to turn what might be their negative complaint into a positive hope. This is the use of "true empathy." It is particularly useful in defusing an argument when emotions are running high.

"True empathy" involves first acknowledging the other person's feeling state, as in "Are you upset because…?" This guess shows concern for the other person's feeling state and invites their correction. They might say, "I'm angry at you because you've only been criticizing my idea." Then you guess at what their positive hope might be that is behind their feeling criticized. You might reply, "So you're angry because what you really want is some positive support." Then they will supply what their hope is, in this case probably involving some kind of help. This defuses their emotional energy.

Hopes are a key concept in interpersonal communication. We are all motivated to get our hopes met. Hopes are such things as to be heard and understood, to be accepted. These are connection hopes. We also have freedom hopes such as to be free to express our creativity and to be treated with honesty. Hopes are positive needs that can be met without infringing on someone else. They are at the heart of effective conflict resolution.

This method of communicating is the culmination of techniques that have been practiced and refined over many decades. Thousands of people have learned and benefited from the first edition of Creating Harmonious a Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy. The book was sold out and the much awaited Revised Edition is now here.

Genres: Relationships

289 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 1999

About the author

With a master’s degree in Humanistic Psychology, Andrew LeCompte developed a deeper method of interpersonal communication, which involves tapping into each person’s emotions and what they are most hoping for. He then taught empathic speaking and listening skills to people in schools, colleges, civic groups, legal practices, hospitals, pharmaceutical and financial corporations. Andrew wrote a book encapsulating this way of communicating: Creating Harmonious Relationships: A Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy (2000). The book sold out 5,000 copies and was translated into Turkish. Now a revised edition has been published.
https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Harmo...

In the spiritual realm, Andrew began meditating in the 1970s. In the 1990 he began studying the spiritual text, A Course in Miracles (ACIM). In 2004 he met the man who would become his ACIM guru/teacher. Andrew discussed key points of ACIM with his wife, a clinical psychologist, who was not in agreement with a spiritually focused life. After more persuasion from the guru/teacher, Andrew left his wife, son, friends, and all his possessions behind and moved 2,000 miles into his ACIM-based community. There he contributed his teaching and counseling skills, plus his book editing and video editing skills. But after six grueling years it proved to be a cult and he escaped. Cult psychology is a pernicious force. With the help and love of his son and his new wife, Andrew devoted himself to intensive recovery programs. After researching cults and cult psychology he wrote his memoir, Finding Miracles: Escape from a Cult. http://books2read.com/lecompte

Reviews

[Olia Braguța · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books i’ve ever read- hands down!

Study cases, accessible language despite the amount of mind work that is explained in the book.
I feel like reading it once is not enough for me, because going chapter by chapter and applying the learnt information is the toughest of this all.

[Andrew LeCompte · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Creating Harmonious Relationships, a Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy, you will learn how to
• build loving intimate relationships
• develop and maintain friendships
• positively influence people at work
• turn conflict into understanding
Andrew LeCompte has helped thousands of people to communicate more effectively and more lovingly. In this book he presents “true empathy,” the key to understanding and communicating with people. With it you will experience the joy and contentment of harmonious relationships.

Creating Harmonious Relationships: a Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy Revised Edition is empowering in a heartfelt way. It teaches the reader how to communicate wisely and effectively with other people. The basic technique is easy to grasp, and it is taught in a step-by step manner. It teaches how to listen in a way that invites the other person to open up and disclose what is really bothering them while also encouraging them to cast what might be their negative complaint into a positive hope. This is the use of “true empathy.” It is particularly useful in defusing an argument when emotions are running high.

“True empathy” involves first acknowledging the other person’s feeling state, as in “Are you upset because…?” This guess shows concern for the other person’s feeling state and invites their correction. They might say, “I’m angry at you because you’ve only been criticizing my idea.” Then you guess at what their positive hope might be that is behind their feeling criticized. You might reply, “So you’re angry because what you really want is some positive support.” Then they will supply what their hope is, in this case probably involving some kind of help. Then their emotional energy is defused.

Hopes are a key concept in interpersonal communication. We are all motivated to get our hopes met. Hopes are such things as to be heard and understood, to be accepted. These are connection hopes. We also have freedom hopes such as to express our creativity and to be treated with honesty. Hopes are positive needs that can be met without infringing on someone else. They are at the heart of effective conflict resolution.

This method of communicating is the culmination of techniques that have been practiced and refined over many decades. Thousands of people have learned and benefited from the first edition of Creating Harmonious Relationships: a Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy.
The book was sold out and the Revised Edition came out in January 2024.

[Lizzy Jeremko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great synthesis of psychological thinkers ranging from Maslow to Freud to Carl Rogers to Goleman. Offers helpful critique of existing frameworks that still have gaps (i.e. emotional intelligence book). Concrete, helpful examples and reference tables.

[Andrew LeCompte · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the 2002 Edition (which is out of print.)

Look for the Revised Edition. Expected publication January 24, 2024

Creating Harmonious Relationships: A Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy (Paperback)