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The Tragedy of Prince Hamlet and the Philosopher's Stone or, a Will Most Incorrect to Heaven

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PROLOGUE

KING CLAUDIUS

"Grieve not for the dead.

It shows a will most incorrect to heaven."

What may we make of him who birthed these lines,

and, in his mad stinking London,

committed them to paper and the voice of me, his villain?

Was our Shakespeare a Will most incorrect to heaven?

Had he the liberty, what Hamlet had he writ?

A true opponent, not just to me, but to the natural ordering

of the spheres and of the mind?

A youth, perhaps, who though as cautious as could be in action,

were o'er-rash in fantasy.

Exit CLAUDIUS.

The Tragedy of Prince Hamlet and the Philosopher's Stone, or, A Will Most Incorrect to Heaven by William Shakespeare is a work of Hamlet fan fiction. The play is a rewrite of Hamlet that preserves much of the original style, language, and plot, while injecting references to modern culture, epistemology, and ethics. It's perhaps what Shakespeare would have written, had he been simultaneously trying to appeal to audiences of both his time and our own. The Philosopher's Stone, for example, would be familiar to subjects of either Queen Elizabeth.

The play's formatting is modeled after the way most of us encounter written Shakespeare: the spelling is updated and standardized, the stage directions are minimal and mostly of the sort that can be inferred from the dialogue, and the language is Elizabethan English from circa 1599; any anachronism is unintentional, aside from a certain wry punctuation mark and other allusions to future art. It's written to be performed as well as read. The only major change to the structure is the play's length: while unabridged productions of Hamlet can run up to five hours, the more concise Tragedy of Prince Hamlet and the Philosopher's Stone, or, A Will Most Incorrect to Heaven by William Shakespeare clocks in at well under two.

69 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 31, 2011

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About the author

Aaron Weiner

18 books

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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
Profile Image for Lucas.
129 reviews10 followers
October 29, 2015
A hilarious retelling of Shakespeare's Hamlet, featuring a more rational and ambitious Hamlet. This Hamlet only grudgingly agrees to his father's ghost's request to avenge his killer, demanding the ghost to reveal secrets known only to the dead in exchange for his effort to kill Claudius:
[Aside] As with a fishmonger upon the river Elbe, must now I haggle with a ghost?
This creature once was kin.

Thou shalt not be avenged, save that thou swear:
an I slay thine killer, so wilt thou vouchsafe to me the means
by which I might slay death.

He who killed thee wilt join thee in the Pit,
and then that's it. No further swelling of hell's ranks will I permit.
Filled with (loving) jabs at Shakespeare's play,
Claudius must not anticipate me, for a scheme anticipated fails,
as a dumb-show thoughtlessly performed before a play
spoils the surprise and impact of the scene.
Weiner's parody is concise, playful, wonderfully clever, and, more importantly, hilarious, throughout.

Inspired by Eliezer Yudkowsky's rationalist retelling of Harry Potter, Weiner's retelling of Hamlet is just as incredibly funny, intelligent and wise as Yudkowsky's fanfic. Highly recommended for all fans of Shakespeare's original play.
Profile Image for JP.
120 reviews3 followers
September 1, 2017
Surprisingly funny: Hamlet, upon realizing that ghosts are actually real, decides he has more important things to do than avenge his father's death. Played totally straight and occasionally even in iambic pentameter.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews

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