Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years

by Helen E. Johnson, Christine Schelhas-Miller

This completely revised and updated edition of Don't Tell Me What To Do, Just Send Money prepares parents for the issues that they will encounter during their children's college years. Since our original publication over ten years ago, there has been a dramatic increase in the use of cell phone and internet technology. The birth of the term ‘helicopter parent' is, in part, due to the instant and frequent connectivity that parents have with their children today. Parents are struggling with the appropriate use of communicative technology and aren't aware of its impact on their child's development, both personally and academically.

With straightforward practicality and using humorous and helpful case examples and dialogues, Don't Tell Me What To Do, Just Send Money helps parents lay the groundwork for a new kind of relationship so that they can help their child more effectively handle everything they'll encounter during their college years.

384 pages, Paperback

First published July 5, 2011

Reviews

[Laura Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for parents with first child going off to college

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not a novel, not a self-help book – it’s a parent bible. (My son noticed it on the counter and said “Not too subtle, Mom!”) Distributed at many college orientations (thank you @LauraFulton) I have referred to its advice too many times to count. With 2 (completely opposite!) kids away at school, I thought I was a professional for guiding them through the insanely difficult application process, but alas, my job was not complete. Like navigating any long distance relationship, kids away at school is no different, including the grandparents advice mystified because “we just didn’t do things that way.” With the instantaneous, constant, helpful - yet annoying new modes of communication, let’s just say this is definitely NOT 1984. Each easy to read, short chapter addresses an issue, detailing what you are thinking, what your student is thinking and what you should and should not do. I started this book with my “all knowingly, I know my child” of 18 years and then realized, I know nothing. Who is this creature and what is he doing? (Did I do that???) My first thought was, my poor parents, I owe them a huge apology My second thought was I am giving this book to every parent I know! #1 You think you know and you DON’T!! #2 It does make you feel better to know others suffer the same EXACT same way #3 Get this book BEFORE you drop them off which will completely tear your heart out while your husband plans the party – which will make you cry even harder. I originally got it from the library then bought on Amazon used for a few dollars realizing I’d be referring to it for quite some time. #4 Dad will most likely not read it so be prepared to read portions out loud for his benefit and yours. #5 Good Luck!

[Kate Hornstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

OK, I just finished reading this while dropping my daughter off for her freshman year at college and I found it extremely helpful...the book goes through pretty much any scenario that could arise at college (and even post-grad) that would be troublesome and discusses a mode of communicating which neither shuts down the child's voice, or tries to take over and dictate what the child should do. There is also an extensive section on the various modes available to communicate with your child at college--i.e. phone, text, skype etc. and the advantages and disadvantages of each. The book seemed to be written by a wise, trusted friend who had seen it all but was amazingly non-judgmental and had an air of "hey, I've been there. Don't freak out!" It also wasn't written for just one type of parent--there were sections that focused on first-generation college students and their challenges as well as those who have more than one child and are dealing with "the child left behind." I haven't read "The Naked Roommate" and "Letting Go" which I know are always recommended so I don't have much to compare it to, but I've been reading tons of parenting books since my kids were babies and I thought this was one of the best.