What do you think?
Rate this book
The One: A Realistic Guide to Choosing Your Soul Mate
Outlines practical strategies for finding a Christian soulmate while emphasizing such virtues as free will, personal responsibility, proactivity, and preparation, advising on common misunderstandings. Original.
- GenresChristianRelationships
193 pages, Paperback
First published July 10, 2001
8 people are currently reading
53 people want to read
About the author
Ben Young
14 books4 followersDr. Ben Young is the senior pastor at Second Baptist Church, a diverse, multi-ethnic church with over 20,000 people attending weekly services online and on six campuses throughout the city of Houston. The author of several books, including Room for Doubt, Devotions for Dating Couples and Survive the Day, Dr. Young is also an adjunct professor at Houston Theological Seminary where he teaches homiletics, apologetics and practical theology.
Born and raised in the Carolinas before moving to Texas in 1978, Young was educated at Baylor University, Southwestern Theological Seminary and Bethel Theological Seminary in San Diego. Having hosted a nationally syndicated radio talk show for years and serving as chaplain for the Houston Astros, Dr. Young also enjoys surfing and practicing Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
Born and raised in the Carolinas before moving to Texas in 1978, Young was educated at Baylor University, Southwestern Theological Seminary and Bethel Theological Seminary in San Diego. Having hosted a nationally syndicated radio talk show for years and serving as chaplain for the Houston Astros, Dr. Young also enjoys surfing and practicing Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
April 30, 2013
Myths: 1. There is one special person for you.
2. If you love God enough, He'll give you a soul mate.
3. There is only one, true Christian way to find a mate.
4. Follow your heart.
5. Don't worry; you'll just know.
6. All you need is God. (That is, agreeing that Jesus is Savior and being a Christian is the only thing that you need to look for in a person.)
7. There is someone for everyone.
Against hyper-spiritual courtship
Connect in three zones: relational (chemistry, personality, lifestyle), character, and spiritual (faith, fruit, family) compatibility
2. If you love God enough, He'll give you a soul mate.
3. There is only one, true Christian way to find a mate.
4. Follow your heart.
5. Don't worry; you'll just know.
6. All you need is God. (That is, agreeing that Jesus is Savior and being a Christian is the only thing that you need to look for in a person.)
7. There is someone for everyone.
Against hyper-spiritual courtship
Connect in three zones: relational (chemistry, personality, lifestyle), character, and spiritual (faith, fruit, family) compatibility
March 9, 2018
A pretty straightforward book on the subject of dating and what to look for in a potential spouse. Although the book is dated (no pun intended) in a few parts, the overall message is one many in the Christian singles world would benefit from reading today.
The book is full of practical advice and common sense that seems so absent from many single Christians today. Because I didn't learn many new things, I won't give it a 5-star rating but that doesn't mean I wouldn't recommend it to people, especially to those in the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" clan.
One thing that the authors said that really resonated with me was their definition of modern courtship -
"Within the last decade, there has been a proliferation of Christian books claiming to be the one, true way to find your marriage partner. A common theme throughout is the idea that any form of modern dating is anti-Christian and unspiritual at best. For sake of simplicity, we will refer to this as the 'courtship model.' In general, this model claims that God's way (or the biblical way) to find a mate is through a method of courtship where, through God's prompting, you identify a potential marriage partner before you ever spend intimate, one-on-one time with that person. Somehow through God's direction, you come up with some vague assurance that this is The One before developing any kind of intimate friendship. You approach this person (and his or her parents) with your intentions to commit yourself to him or hear with a view toward marriage! Does that sound a little scary?"
I have seen this dangerous approach advocated repeatedly thanks to the modern courtship movement. Those who know me might find my agreement with this statement a bit odd, as I am one that believes God continues to speak and guide people today, including in the area of romance. I know of a few couples where God was directly involved with bringing them together in some rather supernatural ways. So I am not against involving God or even being open to supernatural signs in the process. But I have been seeing a lot of people mistaking desires and wishes and the infatuation with God telling them they've found someone they should marry. They get a crush and they rush. Rush! Rush! Rush! They over-spiritualize their infatuations and attractions to someone and as a result, often blind themselves to things that should give them pause. Thus, they become prone to making some disastrous decisions.
This book, along with Gary Thomas' "The Sacred Search" and Thomas Umstattd Jr.'s, "Courtship in Crisis" offers a better way to approach making one of the most significant decisions one will make in their lifetime.
The book is full of practical advice and common sense that seems so absent from many single Christians today. Because I didn't learn many new things, I won't give it a 5-star rating but that doesn't mean I wouldn't recommend it to people, especially to those in the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" clan.
One thing that the authors said that really resonated with me was their definition of modern courtship -
"Within the last decade, there has been a proliferation of Christian books claiming to be the one, true way to find your marriage partner. A common theme throughout is the idea that any form of modern dating is anti-Christian and unspiritual at best. For sake of simplicity, we will refer to this as the 'courtship model.' In general, this model claims that God's way (or the biblical way) to find a mate is through a method of courtship where, through God's prompting, you identify a potential marriage partner before you ever spend intimate, one-on-one time with that person. Somehow through God's direction, you come up with some vague assurance that this is The One before developing any kind of intimate friendship. You approach this person (and his or her parents) with your intentions to commit yourself to him or hear with a view toward marriage! Does that sound a little scary?"
I have seen this dangerous approach advocated repeatedly thanks to the modern courtship movement. Those who know me might find my agreement with this statement a bit odd, as I am one that believes God continues to speak and guide people today, including in the area of romance. I know of a few couples where God was directly involved with bringing them together in some rather supernatural ways. So I am not against involving God or even being open to supernatural signs in the process. But I have been seeing a lot of people mistaking desires and wishes and the infatuation with God telling them they've found someone they should marry. They get a crush and they rush. Rush! Rush! Rush! They over-spiritualize their infatuations and attractions to someone and as a result, often blind themselves to things that should give them pause. Thus, they become prone to making some disastrous decisions.
This book, along with Gary Thomas' "The Sacred Search" and Thomas Umstattd Jr.'s, "Courtship in Crisis" offers a better way to approach making one of the most significant decisions one will make in their lifetime.
July 9, 2022
I love how this was detailed, biblical based and practical in finding the right One. I great re-read for reference when getting in dating if you're single and looking, if you're married, this would a great book for you to improve your marriage in reference to the Bible which we should all go for. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who desires to find the the Right One to marry.
May 10, 2023
Muy buen libro, tiene consejos bastante útiles para encontrar a la pajera idea, o para saber que es la indicada.
Disfrute mucho leer este libro. Lo recomiendo al 100%. Tanto a solteros, a los que están en una relación o que ya están casados este libro les puede ayudar a aclarar algunos dudas.
Disfrute mucho leer este libro. Lo recomiendo al 100%. Tanto a solteros, a los que están en una relación o que ya están casados este libro les puede ayudar a aclarar algunos dudas.
January 15, 2015
I read this before getting married.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews