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Three shoes, once sock and no hairbrush : everything you need to know about having your second child
A handbook of advice on all aspects of life with a second child. Having two children is different from having one in almost every respect. The book looks at the demanding task of looking after two children, showing parents how to handle the time squeeze, feeling over-stretched, tantrums and confrontations, the complicated dynamic of the threesome, marital disharmony and returning to work.
Paperback
First published March 8, 2001
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 19, 2009
A thought-provoking book about the joys and difficulties of caring for two children.
It rightly observes that the majority of parenting books focus on caring for a single child, while the average family has two. The majority of parenting books I've read don't examine in any depth what happens when there is a second child on the scene. After all you just do it all the same with the second one, right?
Like a vast majority of parenting books this one assumes that the mum is reading the book and is the primary carer of the kids. Like the vast majority of parenting books all the quotes from parents are from mum. Like most parenting books there are snide remarks about how little support is provided by fathers (particularly the dreaded housework). Like most parenting books there is a little section that shows the author's support of fathers. Jeez it grates. Things like "But a second child also brings profound and often unanticipated changes. And for a great many women the impact of the second child is as dramatic as it is unexpected." Hmmmm so the fathers experienced no changes, and had no expectations? This book professes to provide "everything you need to know about having your second child" - this message is relevant to all the carers for these children and should be writen as such.
One of the more disturbing revelations in this book was revealed on page 79 - that the author didn't feel she could leave the house with the kids without another adult for the first year of the babies life. Now I don't have two kids yet - but I (as a lowly dad) was out of the house the first day we were out of hospital with our first. A whole year without leaving the house would send me insane. It made me think - do I really want to take advice from someone who obviously had such a hard time of it? Who would I prefer to take advice from? It's a difficult question. Academics speaking from on high often don't have enough practical experience, someone with just their own practical experience often doesn't have a wide enough experience to provide useful advice to others. In the end I decided that a combination of someone who has been through the experience, who can write coherently and interestingly, and has done research, and has the support of experts (ie someone like Rebecca Abrams) is actually someone who is worth listening to.
This book provides insights and provokes thought on issues such as:
* the differences between first and second pregnancies and labours
* how to prepare the first child for the arrival of the second, and how this is actually a process over the first year (or more) as the baby develops.
* dealing with sibling rivalry
* looking after yourself as well!
* mixing paid work with two kids.
This book was written in the UK for a UK audience. The laws, statistics advice lines/support agencies, etc are for the UK (although often not referenced as such).
Good luck with the second child!
It rightly observes that the majority of parenting books focus on caring for a single child, while the average family has two. The majority of parenting books I've read don't examine in any depth what happens when there is a second child on the scene. After all you just do it all the same with the second one, right?
Like a vast majority of parenting books this one assumes that the mum is reading the book and is the primary carer of the kids. Like the vast majority of parenting books all the quotes from parents are from mum. Like most parenting books there are snide remarks about how little support is provided by fathers (particularly the dreaded housework). Like most parenting books there is a little section that shows the author's support of fathers. Jeez it grates. Things like "But a second child also brings profound and often unanticipated changes. And for a great many women the impact of the second child is as dramatic as it is unexpected." Hmmmm so the fathers experienced no changes, and had no expectations? This book professes to provide "everything you need to know about having your second child" - this message is relevant to all the carers for these children and should be writen as such.
One of the more disturbing revelations in this book was revealed on page 79 - that the author didn't feel she could leave the house with the kids without another adult for the first year of the babies life. Now I don't have two kids yet - but I (as a lowly dad) was out of the house the first day we were out of hospital with our first. A whole year without leaving the house would send me insane. It made me think - do I really want to take advice from someone who obviously had such a hard time of it? Who would I prefer to take advice from? It's a difficult question. Academics speaking from on high often don't have enough practical experience, someone with just their own practical experience often doesn't have a wide enough experience to provide useful advice to others. In the end I decided that a combination of someone who has been through the experience, who can write coherently and interestingly, and has done research, and has the support of experts (ie someone like Rebecca Abrams) is actually someone who is worth listening to.
This book provides insights and provokes thought on issues such as:
* the differences between first and second pregnancies and labours
* how to prepare the first child for the arrival of the second, and how this is actually a process over the first year (or more) as the baby develops.
* dealing with sibling rivalry
* looking after yourself as well!
* mixing paid work with two kids.
This book was written in the UK for a UK audience. The laws, statistics advice lines/support agencies, etc are for the UK (although often not referenced as such).
Good luck with the second child!
July 12, 2013
I'm not sure if I should rate this book since I'm three months away from having my second child. It is an intelligent and very well-written examination of the emotional, physical, and societal hardships of mothering. It is also one of the scariest books I've ever read: Exhaustion, mental issues, perpetual insomnia, incontinence, siblings hatred and violence, hate for one's own children, and then divorce... All discussed in chilling seriousness. If I had read this book a year ago, I would have tied my tubes myself. Now, seven-month pregnant, I'm looking at my bank account to find a way to hire a live-in nanny until my youngest is 18.
September 27, 2009
What I learned from this book? Be afraid of having a second child. Be very afraid...
September 3, 2019
The mixed reviews of this book are almost as interesting as the book itself!!
I am glad I read this after the birth of my second baby rather than prior to or during my second pregnancy, as it does paint a rather negative picture. Saying that, I could really resonate with some of the points the author makes which no other parenting books I’ve read have raised, and which made me feel less alone! I found the chapter on work went on a bit but overall a very interesting and helpful read.
I am glad I read this after the birth of my second baby rather than prior to or during my second pregnancy, as it does paint a rather negative picture. Saying that, I could really resonate with some of the points the author makes which no other parenting books I’ve read have raised, and which made me feel less alone! I found the chapter on work went on a bit but overall a very interesting and helpful read.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews