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How Not To #1
How Not to Date an Alien
People usually see what they want to see, so they miss the big stuff… like antennas.
Kilana knows what her eyes are telling her can’t be true.
There’s a naked man in her bed and he’s glowing. And then there are the solid black eyes, the floating several feet above the bed, and the most damning of all… he has antennas.
The newly divorced Kilana thinks she’s seeing things, but when he opens his mouth and tells her he’s hunting humans and his intentions are to devour her, Kilana knows she has an alien problem.
But who will help her get away from the admittedly sexy creature who wants her pleasured and fattened until her flavor is perfect? Maybe her hair-brained friends Se and Lena can help her avoid the big suppertime cut…
Or maybe she’s on her own with the drooling, leering, orgasm-delivering fiend. And maybe dating an alien won’t turn out to be as big a problem as she thinks.
Kilana knows what her eyes are telling her can’t be true.
There’s a naked man in her bed and he’s glowing. And then there are the solid black eyes, the floating several feet above the bed, and the most damning of all… he has antennas.
The newly divorced Kilana thinks she’s seeing things, but when he opens his mouth and tells her he’s hunting humans and his intentions are to devour her, Kilana knows she has an alien problem.
But who will help her get away from the admittedly sexy creature who wants her pleasured and fattened until her flavor is perfect? Maybe her hair-brained friends Se and Lena can help her avoid the big suppertime cut…
Or maybe she’s on her own with the drooling, leering, orgasm-delivering fiend. And maybe dating an alien won’t turn out to be as big a problem as she thinks.
73 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 1, 2010
1 person is currently reading
39 people want to read
About the author
Stephanie Burke
162 books126 followersStephanie is a multi published multi award-winning wife and mother of two whose unparalleled imagination causes her no end of trouble. From sex shifting shape-shifting dragons to under sea worlds, up to sexually confused elemental fey and homo erotic mysteries, all the way to pastel challenged urban sprites, Stephanie has done it all, and hopes to do more.
Stephanie is co-founder of the charitable organization Write 4 Hope, Co Creator of the Japanese Culture and Anime Convention Mikomicon, Home-school Mom, English Tutor, an Orator on her favorite subject of writing and world building, a sometimes teacher when you feed her enough coffee and donuts, an anime nut, a costumer, and a frequent guest of various sci-fi and writing cons where she can be found leading panel discussions or researching more and varied legends and theories to improve her writing skills.
Stephanie is known for her love of the outrageous, strong female characters, believable worlds, male characters filled with depth, and interracial that make the reader sit up and take notice.
Stephanie is co-founder of the charitable organization Write 4 Hope, Co Creator of the Japanese Culture and Anime Convention Mikomicon, Home-school Mom, English Tutor, an Orator on her favorite subject of writing and world building, a sometimes teacher when you feed her enough coffee and donuts, an anime nut, a costumer, and a frequent guest of various sci-fi and writing cons where she can be found leading panel discussions or researching more and varied legends and theories to improve her writing skills.
Stephanie is known for her love of the outrageous, strong female characters, believable worlds, male characters filled with depth, and interracial that make the reader sit up and take notice.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
June 3, 2020
Although this was a verified steamfest, it was also quite amusing and full of lots of creative details too. I knew as soon as he bopped her on the nose with his finger that I was going to love this story. Valan was a Scrimtat with all kinds of yummy abilities, and this felt a little like a cross between a time travel and sci-fi tale since he was alone and adapting to Kilana's world. It also touched upon aspects of friendship, perception/illusions/facades, the celebration of new beginnings, social roots, carpe diem, cultural misunderstandings, love, and lust. I highly recommend this book for anyone who enjoys wit with their steam.
I received a free copy of this book, but that did not affect my review.
I received a free copy of this book, but that did not affect my review.
March 1, 2023
This was ridiculously funny. This has to be hands down my fav 'How Not to..' story so far. Ofc there are some nice spicy scenes, but the banter between Kilana, Valan, and everyone they came across was like a classic screwball. I would love to read more about them and their relationship.
December 3, 2025
I didn't get past the first few chapters; not interested in the characters and therefore the story.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews