What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love: Healing the Emotional Legacy of Racism by Celebrating Our Light

by Brenda Lane Richardson, Brenda Wade

Among the most damaging and unexplored legacies of the transatlantic slave trade are the negative, afrophobic mores and myths that have devastated black male/female relationships. This book by clinical psychologist and Essence magazine contributor Dr. Brenda Wade and coauthor Brenda Lane Richardson examines many of the so-called scarcity beliefs, such as: "There are no good men out there"; "Any man will cheat if he's tempted"; "I'll always be alone"; and so on. What the authors advocate is not only an acceptance of historical burdens but the willingness to express grief and delve into the deep, spiritual wells of one's ancestors. "The only way we can attain freedom," they write, "is by bringing our past into the light of understanding. What's required is a different sort of liberation movement, one that allows us to work through the shame and guilt that keeps us from embracing ourselves." Richardson and Wade offer several life-enhancing beliefs central to self-healing--"God loves me"; "I can make something out of nothing"; "I can make a way when there seems to be no way"; and "My heart will guide me if I listen." An enjoyable and uplifting reading experience, What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love offers words of wisdom that women of all hues can use. --Eugene Holley Jr.

276 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[Lametra Off · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book. The authors provided insight with evidence.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book I can use over and over as a reference book to help me deal with situations I encounter as an African American woman.

[Maurita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Based on the description, I knew that I was going to love this book. I was still unexpectedly surprised with its greatness. I love the historical aspect of it that crosses many three lives of many Black women. I can see how this is being portrayed in my life currently and the generations in my family that see coming up. I’ve shared this book among these generations and friends for us to discuss how much our life is impacted by these historical elements.

[Relle Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! A must read for Black women on their healing journey.

[Stacy-Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a good book to read if you want to develop your self more. It shows how the past can help you in the here and now as well as identify your inherited strengths, it deals with emotional pain. Examines our emotional legacy, a legacy of feelings and beliefs that developed from our collective experience beginning with the kidnapping of our African Ancestors when they were dragged in chains, it also deals on the Jim crow laws.

A step further, It acknowledges the hidden belief system that frow out of slavery and shows how those beliefs are reinforced and how they interfere with self-esteem and love.

[Likkia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the historical information enlightening. I wasn’t comfortable with all of the exercises but I’m not sure you always need to do the exercises. I’m definitely passing this book along to someone I think could benefit.

[Amber Wheatley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting self-help book. Dr Richardson guides you at a gentle pace to uncover deep rooted issues. It was refreshing having a self-help book given context to racism and how this affects our relationships

[CKE387 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting how a collective past has such impact on modern behavior.