Sex, Lies & Religion

by Randy Elrod

For the majority of my life, I had no framework for the interrelation of sexuality and spirituality. In my religious circles, sex was what everybody thought about, but nobody talked about.

I hope this book will start conversations. Westerners generally shrink from controversial discussions and the subject of sacred sexuality is more than worthy of honest and open debate. Sex is at the heart of almost everything we do as human beings, and if it truly is the essence of existence, then it bears thoughtful and loving consideration among those of us who call ourselves spiritual.

Some people will undoubtedly find portions of this book shocking. Others will think it is tame. It is in no way intended to be a sex manual or a theological treatise. My wish is that it will cause all of us to examine closely our personal longings, our marriages, our relationships, and what we teach our children about sex. Perhaps it’s time to utilize the Bible as our sex manual. And for those aspects where it is silent, we then depend on an open dialogue with those we trust.

My candid conversations with young men I mentor, my own struggles, the shocking results of our online survey, and the inordinate amount of moral dismissals in our churches provided me the incentive to write this book. I have seen wives leave their husbands because of pornography addictions and marriages fall apart due to misplaced affections. Throughout my life, I have seen religion provide judgment instead of grace in almost every situation.

Of course, there are extreme cases of sexual dysfunction that need to be dealt with. Seeing a qualified sex therapist, psychiatrist or licensed marriage counselor is one of the most spiritually mature actions we can take in cases of severe problems.

But I can’t help but think that if we really believed our misplaced sexual longings were an indication of a desperate search for God and the original experiences of the garden, many of us would find redemption instead of condemnation. That’s what I’ve been given. And I’m thankful.

If you get nothing else from this message, know that this book is about redemption. I suppose you could say it is controversially redemptive. I have realized through the years that it takes shaking up the status quo to get anything accomplished. So be it.

166 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 5, 2010

About the author

Randy Elrod is an artist, author, and adventurer whose path has led from rural Appalachia to Barcelona's artistic streets. His works span memoir "A Renaissance Redneck in a Mega-Church Pulpit" and self-discovery "The Quest." His life has been marked by creative exploration and physical challenges, including twenty-five marathons and wilderness survival in Alaskan grizzly country. "The Purging Room" is his first work of fiction, written from his current home in Barcelona, where he continues his mission of empowering others to embrace their authentic selves.

Reviews

[Louis Vigo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has a lots of interesting things to think about. Some are right on, such as how our culture wants to objectify women and sex. Others are a bit more edgy (and for some it may be a bit offensive), such as sexual fantasy and masturbation. But I like how Randy leave many of these questions unanswered, just like the Bible does.

I love his thoughts on celebrating a sacred sexuality where sex is akin to a sacrament. And the parallels he draws from the intimacy of communion, but I've yet to figure out a practical way to think about it from that perspective.

Also his thoughts on immortal longings. If sex is really at the heart of so many of our actions and things in our culture then it's good to be discussing and thinking about it in relation to not only theology, but our everyday life (which is just theology in motion). Explore the mystery of oneness, not only the oneness experienced with your spouse, but the oneness you can experience with God

As a parent, I realize that its my responsibility to understand things... about sex and the deep mystery it conveys about our spirituality and our temporal existence here on earth... in preparation to have open and frank conversations with my kids about these things... when the time is right. If I don't do it, then certainly culture will. And culture undoubtedly doesn't have a healthy view of sexuality from any standpoint

I certainly wish I had found a book like this years ago for my own sake.

[Adam Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another review after a year: I have been reading or re-reading books on sex because I am helping to lead a small group of newly married couples and we have been discussing sex. I appreciated this book even more now that I have read a few more recently. On a second reading I understood more of the underlying theology, especially the references to Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body. I have picked up a book to read that is directly about that and look forward to reading more. Honestly, with the weaknesses of this book, it is still the best book on a real understanding of Christian sexuality that I have found.

My full thoughts on a second reading at http://bookwi.se/sex-lies-and-religio...
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Full review at http://bookwi.se/sex-lies-and-religio...

Short review: This is a good addition to the theology of sexuality. The only other book to really compare it to is Rob Bell's Sex God. And that was more about sensuality than sexuality. This book is about sexuality. It is not a perfect book. I wanted more history of christian thought on sexuality. But I would still recommend it. It is a brief read.

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate that the author wasn't afraid to take an unpopular view (ok, several). There's lots of wisdom in this book to chew on.