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(Re)Making Love: A Sex After Sixty Story
Mary has written a memoir of the highest quality. Her experiences and the way she brings them to us remind us why we bother to read in the first place: empathy is better than callousness, trust more rewarding than cynicism, adventure food for the soul.
214 pages, Paperback
First published June 20, 2010
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41 people want to read
About the author
Mary L. Tabor
5 books63 followersMary L. Tabor is the author of Who by Fire: A Novel with a book club:: http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/8.... Join and discover authors in person. I am also the author of (Re)Making Love: A Memoir, available on Amazon http://amzn.to/nqg0yo. My book The Woman Who Never Cooked won Mid-List Press’s First Series Award. If you want one-on-one help, I offer, for a modest fee, via Zoom, an Eight-"session"-course (each session includes 11 parts and one-on-one attention) with slides and more experiments than in the free chapters. Go here and scroll down for free lessons. For private, via Zoom, email me at mltabor @ me. com . I taught variations of this course at George Washington University, in the undergraduate and graduate MFA/Ph.D. creative writing program at the University of Missouri and at the Smithsonian's Campus-on-the-Mall. My first book of fiction was published after a 16-year career in corporate America, a senior executive, director of public affairs writing for the oil industry’s trade association, landing me in both Who’s Who in America and Who’s Who of American Women. I was a high school English teacher who bridged the gap to the business world, rising on the corporate ladder while also raising two children. I then made a transition from the business world to the creative world, leaving her corporate job to earn an MFA degree in Creative Writing. My experience spans the worlds of journalism, business, education and fiction writing. I was a visiting writer at University of Missouri in Columbia, taught creative writing (fiction and memoir) at George Washington University, the Smithsonian’s Campus-on-the-Mall, and worked with the DC library to reach less-privileged populations on how to begin writing about family, personal history and writing a story—the stuff of life. I am a CIC Visiting Fellow (aka Woodrow Wilson Fellow). I've been interviewed on XM Satellite Radio and Pacifica Radio to discuss Joyce, Shakespeare and others and her lifelong career-journey.
The interview that follows was done by Jason Howell Take a look ...
For reviews and more visit: http://www.maryltabor.com and http://www.midlist.org and
http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/8...
The interview that follows was done by Jason Howell Take a look ...
For reviews and more visit: http://www.maryltabor.com and http://www.midlist.org and
http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/8...
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
September 12, 2010
You have to be intrigued by a memoir that contains not only family and politics, but music and poetry, film and philosophy, sports and psychiatry, cooking and pop culture, jokes, fairy tales and cars. A book that quotes both Dorothy Parker and Charlie Parker.
Fortuitous to be reading this concurrently with Jonathan Weiner's "The Beak of the Finch": evolution, wide-ranging, personal and universal. Change begets change, whether the source is nature, deliberation, accident, carelessness, or Act of God.
Mary Tabor quotes Nietzsche: "He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and clumb and dance; one cannot fly into flying."
Wiener quotes Wallace Stevens:
"The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying."
Mary Tabor, again: "I do believe my heart is broken and I am a fool". In the Tarot, the fool is assicated with zero, which is not really a number at all, but an idea, contradictory and ambiguous. A nothing that enhances, enlarges, completes.
"(Re)Making Love", the book, comes from Mary Tabor's journal/blog that chronicled her personal journey after her husband left her. Memoirs always arouse an uneasiness in me, though of course I read them--as Mary herself asks, is it betrayal? To lay bare not only your own thoughts, actions, feelings, but also the folly and insecurities of those who have shared your life: is this right? Is this fair? "A secret known by three is no long a secret."
Yet she also speaks of having an open heart, how important this is to connecting with others. So: can you take in the world with an open heart if you do not also reveal to it what is deep inside?
The author's path casts a wide net, using particularly Grimm's fairy tales (not the Disneyfied popular versions, but the darker originals) and the contemporary filmed fairy tale, the romantic comedy or Rom-Com movie, as touchpoints. Tangents in all directions give rich food for thought (and occasionally recipes for cooking). The writings about music in particular touched me, especally those involving her husband's piano and the when and how of the pieces he chooses to play, or not play.
I often have trouble with the endings in books, and I felt a kind of letdown once the story traveled to Paris. I realize as a practical matter that this was a blog, being written concurrently with the author's life, and that in Paris she was finally doing more living than writing-about-living. A good thing! But when transferring it to book form, I think it should have ended with preparations for Paris. A single chapter epilogue could have filled in the blanks simply, and avoided, for me, the lost thread of intensity. The rest of the book deserves a richer end.
One more note: Mary says that D., her husband, not normally a fiction reader, told her he read 22 books of fiction the year they separated "because he had much to learn about love." This memoir will tell you a lot about Mary Tabor. But if you read her book of stories "The Woman Who Never Cooked" you will learn a lot more. There's facts, and then there's truth.
Fortuitous to be reading this concurrently with Jonathan Weiner's "The Beak of the Finch": evolution, wide-ranging, personal and universal. Change begets change, whether the source is nature, deliberation, accident, carelessness, or Act of God.
Mary Tabor quotes Nietzsche: "He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and clumb and dance; one cannot fly into flying."
Wiener quotes Wallace Stevens:
"The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying."
Mary Tabor, again: "I do believe my heart is broken and I am a fool". In the Tarot, the fool is assicated with zero, which is not really a number at all, but an idea, contradictory and ambiguous. A nothing that enhances, enlarges, completes.
"(Re)Making Love", the book, comes from Mary Tabor's journal/blog that chronicled her personal journey after her husband left her. Memoirs always arouse an uneasiness in me, though of course I read them--as Mary herself asks, is it betrayal? To lay bare not only your own thoughts, actions, feelings, but also the folly and insecurities of those who have shared your life: is this right? Is this fair? "A secret known by three is no long a secret."
Yet she also speaks of having an open heart, how important this is to connecting with others. So: can you take in the world with an open heart if you do not also reveal to it what is deep inside?
The author's path casts a wide net, using particularly Grimm's fairy tales (not the Disneyfied popular versions, but the darker originals) and the contemporary filmed fairy tale, the romantic comedy or Rom-Com movie, as touchpoints. Tangents in all directions give rich food for thought (and occasionally recipes for cooking). The writings about music in particular touched me, especally those involving her husband's piano and the when and how of the pieces he chooses to play, or not play.
I often have trouble with the endings in books, and I felt a kind of letdown once the story traveled to Paris. I realize as a practical matter that this was a blog, being written concurrently with the author's life, and that in Paris she was finally doing more living than writing-about-living. A good thing! But when transferring it to book form, I think it should have ended with preparations for Paris. A single chapter epilogue could have filled in the blanks simply, and avoided, for me, the lost thread of intensity. The rest of the book deserves a richer end.
One more note: Mary says that D., her husband, not normally a fiction reader, told her he read 22 books of fiction the year they separated "because he had much to learn about love." This memoir will tell you a lot about Mary Tabor. But if you read her book of stories "The Woman Who Never Cooked" you will learn a lot more. There's facts, and then there's truth.
May 18, 2011
True Life, True Love, True Forgiveness
Tabor straightforward lays her heart and her love life out for the reader to dissect. Lyrical writing and poetic expressions from the heart enlaced throughout the book. I found Tabor to have the heart of a saint. I could not have stood by and watched what her husband did to her, for my fist would have surely been in somones face. I did so love this (Re)Making Love story, not only for the writing style but for the heartfelt memoir that it is. I also enjoyed and found it unique how Mary referrers to each man in her life, whether be it past or present by lower case letter and her husband of course is a capital D., which ironically can be taken in a different context. The D. I mean. The most beautiful part of this book is when Mary talks about her husband coming around and how they got back together. If you are looking to read a true love story, one that embodies the very depths of someones life with an air of their dirty laundry, plus a sprinkle of faith and forgiveness that later leads to a happy ending then (Re)Making love is for you.
Read an article on Mary L. Tabor and Del Persinger and their reunited love after a lengthy separation and their 26 years of marriage. http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/f...
Tabor straightforward lays her heart and her love life out for the reader to dissect. Lyrical writing and poetic expressions from the heart enlaced throughout the book. I found Tabor to have the heart of a saint. I could not have stood by and watched what her husband did to her, for my fist would have surely been in somones face. I did so love this (Re)Making Love story, not only for the writing style but for the heartfelt memoir that it is. I also enjoyed and found it unique how Mary referrers to each man in her life, whether be it past or present by lower case letter and her husband of course is a capital D., which ironically can be taken in a different context. The D. I mean. The most beautiful part of this book is when Mary talks about her husband coming around and how they got back together. If you are looking to read a true love story, one that embodies the very depths of someones life with an air of their dirty laundry, plus a sprinkle of faith and forgiveness that later leads to a happy ending then (Re)Making love is for you.
Read an article on Mary L. Tabor and Del Persinger and their reunited love after a lengthy separation and their 26 years of marriage. http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/f...
January 27, 2011
** Please note: This book was sent to me for review.
I must admit that I do not feel qualified to review this book properly. My memoir experience is limited to the childhood memoirs of members of my critique group which I am critiquing chapter by chapter. Therefore my review is strictly based on my opinion rather than a particular formula (I liked English, but excelled in Math during high school) for memoirs.
I think it is important to note that (Re)Making Love is a collection of blog posts written at separate times by Mary L. Tabor over several years. This results in some overlap between chapters, repetition of facts, and links that lead nowhere.
For me, once I got past the literary, movie, and Presidential references (most of which I could not relate to due to geography and age) and reached the true story, I found it to be a great account of love lost and found once more.
Yes, Mary L. Tabor give the reader a "brutally honest" glimpse into her life after "D." left, but she proves that love and sex do not have to end after a certain age.
I must admit that I do not feel qualified to review this book properly. My memoir experience is limited to the childhood memoirs of members of my critique group which I am critiquing chapter by chapter. Therefore my review is strictly based on my opinion rather than a particular formula (I liked English, but excelled in Math during high school) for memoirs.
I think it is important to note that (Re)Making Love is a collection of blog posts written at separate times by Mary L. Tabor over several years. This results in some overlap between chapters, repetition of facts, and links that lead nowhere.
For me, once I got past the literary, movie, and Presidential references (most of which I could not relate to due to geography and age) and reached the true story, I found it to be a great account of love lost and found once more.
Yes, Mary L. Tabor give the reader a "brutally honest" glimpse into her life after "D." left, but she proves that love and sex do not have to end after a certain age.
September 2, 2010
(Re)Making Love: A Sex After Sixty Story by Mary Tabor
Interesting writing style,I felt as if I were reading her private journal, the bits and pieces of thoughts, reflections and experiences were woven together into a crazy quilt that made sense. Or perhaps it made sense because, I, too, am a sex after sixty story! Thank you, Mary for sharing your life!
Interesting writing style,I felt as if I were reading her private journal, the bits and pieces of thoughts, reflections and experiences were woven together into a crazy quilt that made sense. Or perhaps it made sense because, I, too, am a sex after sixty story! Thank you, Mary for sharing your life!
August 15, 2025
Mary Tabor’s Who by Fire is a masterfully woven meditation on love, betrayal, and the stories we tell ourselves to survive. Tabor’s prose is luminous, precise, and deeply evocative, drawing the reader into the labyrinth of a marriage fractured by infidelity. Told through the introspective lens of a male narrator grappling with his wife’s affair, the novel unfolds like a puzzle—each moment revealing a new layer of longing, regret, denial, and the unbearable weight of truth.
This is not just a story about a man’s reckoning with betrayal; it’s about the reluctance to face what we most fear in ourselves, our own failings, and the intricate dance between knowing and unknowing. Tabor’s signature lyrical style guides the reader through the narrator’s struggle with a tenderness that is both urgent and poetic. Her ability to braid art, music, and science into the emotional core of the novel elevates it beyond a mere narrative of loss—it becomes a meditation on what it means to truly see, and be seen.
Reading Who by Fire is like stepping into a chiaroscuro of love and uncertainty, where the shadows are just as vital as the light. Tabor’s work is, as always, an experience—one that lingers, unsettles, and ultimately transforms.
This is not just a story about a man’s reckoning with betrayal; it’s about the reluctance to face what we most fear in ourselves, our own failings, and the intricate dance between knowing and unknowing. Tabor’s signature lyrical style guides the reader through the narrator’s struggle with a tenderness that is both urgent and poetic. Her ability to braid art, music, and science into the emotional core of the novel elevates it beyond a mere narrative of loss—it becomes a meditation on what it means to truly see, and be seen.
Reading Who by Fire is like stepping into a chiaroscuro of love and uncertainty, where the shadows are just as vital as the light. Tabor’s work is, as always, an experience—one that lingers, unsettles, and ultimately transforms.
September 15, 2011
Tabor has been a journalist, teacher, and business woman. She decided to add blogger to the list after her husband of 20 plus years announced that he wanted to live alone. Tabor rights her upside-down world by blogging about it. Having felt this blogging impulse myself and being closer to her age (60) than I am to my daughter’s age (14), I figured (Re)Making Love would be a worthy and interesting examination of singledom after a long relationship. Especially when the break comes at a certain point in a woman’s life. After all, who is going to consider dating again at 60!? Okay, or 50!?
Tabor’s blog turned memoir recounts the heartbroken days immediately following her husband’s departure. It spills the beans on property division, using your children as a pseudo psychiatrist’s couch, online dating, post-marital sex. With another man! (Clearly though this was a possibility for Tabor; she’s incredibly attractive and doesn’t look – from the jacket photo at least – a day over 40, even with her silver-gray hair.)
So I sat down with (Re)Making Love one Sunday afternoon – prepared to go on Tabor’s journey a la Eat, Pray, Love (which, yeah, okay, I didn’t like either – but at least I could follow it). Sadly, the book just didn’t do it for me. And I really, really, wanted to like it. I mean, I am sorta where Tabor was. I’m not quite as old; I’m not quite as well-off; my kids aren’t self-sufficient but I am looking ahead at a long, empty stretch of road which was once as crowded with traffic (hopes, companionship, sex, etc) as Tabor’s. I wanted to read the book and feel as though a kindred spirit was guiding me through the potholes.
In many places the book was strangely abstract, convoluted and difficult to understand, littered with dreams that are meaningless to the reader because they have no context. It is peppered with references to chick flicks, fairy tales, recipes, the Obamas. It is meant to be Tabor’s journey of self-discovery, but despite her dalliances with post-marital romance and despite her son’s admonishment that she “move on. It’s time. It’s way over time” Tabor ends up with the very man who wanted to be alone. Okay, that may be her fairy tale ending, but it’s hard to buy into her happiness when D (as she calls him) is so much a non-entity. Why exactly did she want him back?
I understand that memoirs are someone’s personal story, but there has to be a reason for sharing it with the world. Despite the copious praise on the book’s jacket, I just ever settled in to Tabor’s grief or her journey. What makes her story worthy of sharing? I don’t know.
Tabor’s blog turned memoir recounts the heartbroken days immediately following her husband’s departure. It spills the beans on property division, using your children as a pseudo psychiatrist’s couch, online dating, post-marital sex. With another man! (Clearly though this was a possibility for Tabor; she’s incredibly attractive and doesn’t look – from the jacket photo at least – a day over 40, even with her silver-gray hair.)
So I sat down with (Re)Making Love one Sunday afternoon – prepared to go on Tabor’s journey a la Eat, Pray, Love (which, yeah, okay, I didn’t like either – but at least I could follow it). Sadly, the book just didn’t do it for me. And I really, really, wanted to like it. I mean, I am sorta where Tabor was. I’m not quite as old; I’m not quite as well-off; my kids aren’t self-sufficient but I am looking ahead at a long, empty stretch of road which was once as crowded with traffic (hopes, companionship, sex, etc) as Tabor’s. I wanted to read the book and feel as though a kindred spirit was guiding me through the potholes.
In many places the book was strangely abstract, convoluted and difficult to understand, littered with dreams that are meaningless to the reader because they have no context. It is peppered with references to chick flicks, fairy tales, recipes, the Obamas. It is meant to be Tabor’s journey of self-discovery, but despite her dalliances with post-marital romance and despite her son’s admonishment that she “move on. It’s time. It’s way over time” Tabor ends up with the very man who wanted to be alone. Okay, that may be her fairy tale ending, but it’s hard to buy into her happiness when D (as she calls him) is so much a non-entity. Why exactly did she want him back?
I understand that memoirs are someone’s personal story, but there has to be a reason for sharing it with the world. Despite the copious praise on the book’s jacket, I just ever settled in to Tabor’s grief or her journey. What makes her story worthy of sharing? I don’t know.
September 24, 2016
In her memoir (Re)making Love, Mary Tabor shares the intimate details of her four year separation from her husband D., a man we come to know very early on as the love of her life. The story begins with D. announcing out of the blue that he needs to live alone, “Oh so Gretta Garbo,” as Tabor puts it. From there Tabor embarks on a personal journey, that begins with leaving the three story Victorian she and D. shared in the culturally diverse and intellectual neighborhood of Adams Morgan in DC. After the separation, D. sells the house and Tabor settles into a condo in in the Penn Quarter neighborhood of DC, walking distance from the capital and her teaching job at George Washington University. Mary is 60 years old.
Tabor’s narrative has the quality of verse, sometimes stream of consciousness. The prose is absolutely captivating and kept me thoroughly entertained, engrossed, and emotional as I followed Mary on her journey to (Re)make Love. In her memoir, Tabor improvises on the genre, imbuing it with cultural and literary references woven like golden threads into her narrative. Tabor is also a novelist and her memoir reflects her mastery of metaphor, her tool to illuminate the commonalities and complexities of her own experiences. The effect is magical. Tabor finds explores connections amongst unexpected bedfellows: the Obamas, Nietzsche, and The Runaway Bride. The common strand is there; without Tabor we just can’t see it. Early on in the book Tabor ponders:
“Nietzsche and the Brothers Grimm are not so different. This I am learning. I do wonder if Nietzsche is the reality check on wishes and dreams. I refuse to believe this while I consider the possibility.”
Her story maintained an authenticity that is so rare in today’s world. It wasn’t just her honesty about her marriage and overcoming the pain of losing the love of her life. Mary also shared her inner world of art, poetry, romance, politics, literature, and epicurean revelations. Tabor skillfully weaves these ingredients as she takes us into her new post-D. life: dating after age 60, a flourishing writing career, the birth of a new grandchild, the loss of loved ones, and revelations about herself and her unwavering love for D. Despite Tabor’s beautiful rendering, there is no doubt the separation is hard, uncertain, at time tragic.
An exquisite literary epicurean, Tabor delivers a fluid and gorgeous memoir that kept me re-reading in rapt fascination, savoring her insights, anecdotes, and experiences.
Tabor’s narrative has the quality of verse, sometimes stream of consciousness. The prose is absolutely captivating and kept me thoroughly entertained, engrossed, and emotional as I followed Mary on her journey to (Re)make Love. In her memoir, Tabor improvises on the genre, imbuing it with cultural and literary references woven like golden threads into her narrative. Tabor is also a novelist and her memoir reflects her mastery of metaphor, her tool to illuminate the commonalities and complexities of her own experiences. The effect is magical. Tabor finds explores connections amongst unexpected bedfellows: the Obamas, Nietzsche, and The Runaway Bride. The common strand is there; without Tabor we just can’t see it. Early on in the book Tabor ponders:
“Nietzsche and the Brothers Grimm are not so different. This I am learning. I do wonder if Nietzsche is the reality check on wishes and dreams. I refuse to believe this while I consider the possibility.”
Her story maintained an authenticity that is so rare in today’s world. It wasn’t just her honesty about her marriage and overcoming the pain of losing the love of her life. Mary also shared her inner world of art, poetry, romance, politics, literature, and epicurean revelations. Tabor skillfully weaves these ingredients as she takes us into her new post-D. life: dating after age 60, a flourishing writing career, the birth of a new grandchild, the loss of loved ones, and revelations about herself and her unwavering love for D. Despite Tabor’s beautiful rendering, there is no doubt the separation is hard, uncertain, at time tragic.
An exquisite literary epicurean, Tabor delivers a fluid and gorgeous memoir that kept me re-reading in rapt fascination, savoring her insights, anecdotes, and experiences.
August 16, 2015
(Re) Making Love is a journey into the world of truth for both the main character and human nature. Here, on a blog filled with stories of family and love both present and past. Mary finds herself blindsided by an abrupt ending to a long relationship that in retrospect, had been evident in its demise.
Tabor is honest with her self and her readers at how protection of ones self and self worth sometimes holds us back, and ultimately drives us forward. With art and music and humor she follows her heart to figure out how to stand alone despite longing to return to the feeling of being more. (Wife, lover, mother, daughter).
Tabor has a habit of creating imagery that weaves layers of multiple senses, images, and stories, while never straying from the path.
This book had me angry, sad, empty, clapping and wishing there were more. A literary voice that has the power of tickling places I wasn't aware existed. I hope someday everyone finds the book that touches their soul like this did mine.
Tabor is honest with her self and her readers at how protection of ones self and self worth sometimes holds us back, and ultimately drives us forward. With art and music and humor she follows her heart to figure out how to stand alone despite longing to return to the feeling of being more. (Wife, lover, mother, daughter).
Tabor has a habit of creating imagery that weaves layers of multiple senses, images, and stories, while never straying from the path.
This book had me angry, sad, empty, clapping and wishing there were more. A literary voice that has the power of tickling places I wasn't aware existed. I hope someday everyone finds the book that touches their soul like this did mine.
June 24, 2018
One of the best memoirs I have ever read. It's not a "feel sorry for me" memoir. I felt empowered by Mary's journey. Its themes are relatable expressed through brilliant writing. I loved the references to film, poetry and poignants quotes from other fabulous writers. Lines that stay with you long after you have put the book down, if you manage to do that. I have lived in Paris and I understood how this city can transform us. Mary, on page 159, ends: "I have sat cold in Place des Voges to consider." And, on page 162, T.S. Eliot's quote describes beautifully the journey both herself and D. have had to take. Something I had done when I left my own country for France. A heartfelt, honest memoir. Not just a book about a particular time in her life, it's a conversation with her readers - pulling us in. Taking us on her journey and making it a journey worth taking.
June 11, 2011
The wit, the writing and the story/memoir is wonderful.
February 21, 2016
A heart felt memoir of a period where one seeks reasons for why a separation occurred.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews