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260 pages, Paperback
First published October 14, 1996
"Love is subject, and obedient to its superiors, to itself mean and despised, unto God devout and thankful, trusting and hoping always in him, even then when God imparteth no relish of sweetness unto it: for without sorrow, none liveth in love."---Thomas à KempisThere is a thirst in me that cannot be quenched. There is a hunger in me that cannot be satisfied. I sometimes feel I have been found, yet oftentimes I feel terribly lost. There are great moments that take hold of me as if literally lifting me up to the heavenly sky, filling my heart with joy, which no words can truly convey, but only for awhile since they are just moments, I often lose them even before I completely gain what they mean, leaving me to feel alone and bewildered oftentimes in great and inconsolable pain. Without anyone to turn to, I continue to go on whether willingly or unwillingly I no longer know. This path, this choice that I have made for myself appears separate from me, brimming with a life of its own that forces me to move on and look forward despite all the uncertainties. I seek and will continue to seek no matter where it takes me. Once you start walking towards this inner path, there is no more stopping. It is a one way ticket to an unknown territory, a destination that is utterly alien from the world I know, whether I am bound to find something or not, is not the question anymore. The question is whether I will still choose to follow or not. This seems to be the only question and destiny leaves everything up to me.