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If Christ Were Your Counselor
Dr. Thurman draws on his knowledge as a clinical psychologist with the Minirth-Meier Clinic, as well as his deep familiarity with the Bible, to give readers Christ's own answers to their most personal questions on forgiveness, taking responsibility, being honest, and relying on God.
- GenresChristian Non Fiction
135 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 1993
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
January 16, 2011
an absolutely amazing book
February 28, 2019
Filled with grace and hope, while subtly challenging our preconceived ideas. I will be hanging onto this for reference.
There were a few points here and there on which I disagreed: The first is the popular notion that "Love is an action". I don't believe it's only an action. People do "loving" things with ulterior motives all the time. By the same logic, sex would be love. Yet without commitment and romantic feelings, it's nothing more than a carnal action. Actions are an expression of love. Romans 12:9 says "Love must be sincere..." We must love people from the heart. Or, at the very least, care about them. The apostle Paul genuinely had this love for people. Thurman comes to the conclusion that love without action is dead. Maybe, but we're not perfect people. Does that mean we don't have love in our hearts because we sometimes fail to love? He himself says we need God's help to do this. I agree.
The other point of disagreement comes at the very end when Dr. Thurman suggests, given his years of experience, that most people who go to therapy don't really want to change. I agree with him, at least partly. I've been in therapy since 2013. I'm not sure how much I am guilty of this since he provides no concrete examples --he probably legally can't--so it's tough to know what criteria he's going by. If someone disagrees with him, for example, does that automatically mean they don't want to change? One time I downplayed my growth and my therapist told me I'm the most improved of all her clients with my condition. So maybe I'm not who Dr. Thurman is talking about. Still, if I'm honest, I don't always want to change. Sometimes it's easier to make excuses. Sometimes I have to pick and choose what I will work on and when because it's too much to tackle at once. But what Dr. Thurman is saying is that most people don't want to change in general and that only a select few are willing to do the work. This doesn't take into account varying levels of strength and motivation from one day to the next. Sometimes we want to get better, but don't necessarily want to be cured. It's a complex thing that the book oversimplifies with too many generalizations. All the evidence hinges on Dr. Thurman's experience, and that's not much. That's like a woman who has only dated bad men claiming that most men are bad because of her experience. Often our experience is incomplete and hopelessly clouded. Maybe he's talking about people who are getting minor counseling. I'm thinking of the mentally ill. It took all the courage I had to walk through those doors, knowing I would come out wearing the label "mentally ill" for the rest of my life. It's not an easy thing to face for anyone. Yet, again, I concede the fact that we are not always willing, and that sometimes our drive to get better fades the longer we're there and we get comfortable being broken. The sad thing is, being in therapy made me aware of more problems than I started with. Yes, there are definitely days when I don't want to deal with it. But it's not every day. Maybe there are some who simply run out of hope.
There were a few points here and there on which I disagreed: The first is the popular notion that "Love is an action". I don't believe it's only an action. People do "loving" things with ulterior motives all the time. By the same logic, sex would be love. Yet without commitment and romantic feelings, it's nothing more than a carnal action. Actions are an expression of love. Romans 12:9 says "Love must be sincere..." We must love people from the heart. Or, at the very least, care about them. The apostle Paul genuinely had this love for people. Thurman comes to the conclusion that love without action is dead. Maybe, but we're not perfect people. Does that mean we don't have love in our hearts because we sometimes fail to love? He himself says we need God's help to do this. I agree.
The other point of disagreement comes at the very end when Dr. Thurman suggests, given his years of experience, that most people who go to therapy don't really want to change. I agree with him, at least partly. I've been in therapy since 2013. I'm not sure how much I am guilty of this since he provides no concrete examples --he probably legally can't--so it's tough to know what criteria he's going by. If someone disagrees with him, for example, does that automatically mean they don't want to change? One time I downplayed my growth and my therapist told me I'm the most improved of all her clients with my condition. So maybe I'm not who Dr. Thurman is talking about. Still, if I'm honest, I don't always want to change. Sometimes it's easier to make excuses. Sometimes I have to pick and choose what I will work on and when because it's too much to tackle at once. But what Dr. Thurman is saying is that most people don't want to change in general and that only a select few are willing to do the work. This doesn't take into account varying levels of strength and motivation from one day to the next. Sometimes we want to get better, but don't necessarily want to be cured. It's a complex thing that the book oversimplifies with too many generalizations. All the evidence hinges on Dr. Thurman's experience, and that's not much. That's like a woman who has only dated bad men claiming that most men are bad because of her experience. Often our experience is incomplete and hopelessly clouded. Maybe he's talking about people who are getting minor counseling. I'm thinking of the mentally ill. It took all the courage I had to walk through those doors, knowing I would come out wearing the label "mentally ill" for the rest of my life. It's not an easy thing to face for anyone. Yet, again, I concede the fact that we are not always willing, and that sometimes our drive to get better fades the longer we're there and we get comfortable being broken. The sad thing is, being in therapy made me aware of more problems than I started with. Yes, there are definitely days when I don't want to deal with it. But it's not every day. Maybe there are some who simply run out of hope.
September 5, 2020
Helpful advice if you need a counselor and don't have one. Leaves you with the question "Do you really want to get well?" Something to think about. What's scaring you about getting well?
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews