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Words of Comfort for Times of Loss: Help and Hope When You're Grieving
Through great personal loss, authors Cecil Murphey and Liz Allison have gained insight to share with others who are going through uncertainty, depression, and loneliness after losing a loved one. They also offer advice for those comforting someone who is grieving. Among comforting paintings by artist Michal Sparks, brief stories, personal experiences, and prayers offer a meaningful path toward healing for readers when Readers are given gentle permission to grapple with doubt, seek peace, and reflect on their loss in their own way without judgment and with understanding and hope. A perfect gift for a loved one dealing with loss.
64 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
17 people want to read
About the author
Liz Allison
15 books10 followersLiz Allison is the widow of NASCAR Legend Davey Allison - who passed away July 13th, 1993 after the helicopter he was piloting crashed at Talladega Speedway in Alabama.
Since his death, she has authored and co-authored several NASCAR related books. She recently broke into the Romance genre by co-authoring the book "No Holding Back."
She also does TV and Radio work
Since his death, she has authored and co-authored several NASCAR related books. She recently broke into the Romance genre by co-authoring the book "No Holding Back."
She also does TV and Radio work
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
April 10, 2018
The book title says it all. This little book offers words of comfort for times of loss. And, unfortunately, the authors know of what they write. Cecil Murphey experienced loss to a degree that staggers my mind:
"Two weeks after my father suffered a ministroke, a massive stroke took his life. On the day of his funeral, my older brother, Ray, died of cancer. Over the next eighteen months, I lost my two brothers-in-law and my mother."
Several years later, Cecil's house burnt down and his son-in-law died in the fire.
Liz Allison, who was married to race car driver Davey Allison, lost her husband in a helicopter crash, leaving her with two young kids.
Inspired by their own experiences with grief and loss, Liz and Cecil decided to write a book to help others through the process. As people who have lived through it and "come out the other side," they offer their advice, experiences and stories from others who have experienced loss. It is important to know that the book has a strong Christian focus and includes Bible quotes and prayers throughout. For this reason, it may not be the best choice for someone who does not follow the Christian faith, although the basic advice would apply to anyone. Here is an overview of the twelve "chapters" and the basic messages of each.
* Little Joys. Although grief can seem all-encompassing and never ending, Cecil and Liz write about how the power of little joys—"those moments when you feel lifted beyond your pain; those brief interludes when peace fills your heart and you sense God's presence." Liz found her little joys in nature during her daily walks. Although every one's little joys will be different, we all can find solace in them.
* You're Not Alone. Although many well-meaning people try to offer comfort with the words "you are not alone," the authors write how each of us feel our loss in our own unique way and we do feel alone in our private grief. Yet the authors remind those who grieve that Jesus and God are always with us.
* One Simple Thing. In the aftermath of loss, many people will ask "What can I do for you?" Yet those who are grieving often don't even know what do for themselves. Liz writes about how she just wanted people to say "Here is how I can help you"—no matter how small or simple that thing is.
* Accepting Help. "After weeks of ignoring offers of assistance from well-wishers," Liz writes, "a good friend insisted I needed help, and she was going to help me figure out exactly what I needed. That was one of the best gifts a friend could have given me—a gentle but firm intervention." The authors also remind us that "receiving help is also a way to honor and encourage those who offer."
Make It Go Away. The pain and hurt after losing a loved one can feel soul-crushing and as if it will never go away, and it will take each person a different amount of time to work through their pain and grief. The authors remind us that sometimes the only way out of the pain is through it ... even if you only let yourself feel the pain for one minute, one hour or one day at a time.
* Why Did You Leave Me? Although this question might seem irrational, it is very common. The authors recommend working through these feelings of abandonment and anger by talking to the person you lost and realizing that "...feelings are emotions—they are not reality." By accepting and acknowledging our feelings, no matter how irrational, we begin to own them and deal with them.
*If Only I Had... It is understandable to have regrets about what we did or didn't do when faced with a loss. The authors write about how instead of trying to get past these feelings, we realize that "in time the power of these emotions will diminish" and to not let them dominate our lives.
* What's Wrong with Self-Pity? The authors distinguish between self-pity and self-absorption. It is perfectly natural to feel sorry for yourself upon losing a loved one. The key is not let it reach an unhealthy and crippling state.
* Perfect Grieving. Many people have an idea that grief should be done within a certain amount of time. One mother who lost her newborn son told Cecil: "I wanted an A-plus on my grieving report card. By the time I went for my six-week checkup, I expected to be over all that grief. At least a year passed before I could honestly acknowledge that I was healed." The message here is that no one can push you through your grief—especially yourself.
* Am I Crazy? People who are grieving often experience extreme highs and extreme lows—moving from tears one moment to hysterical laughter the next, from anger to sadness and back again. Liz writes of asking herself over and over: "Am I losing my mind?" The authors provide reassurance that not feeling like yourself and experiencing ups and downs is a normal and expected part of the grief process.
* Material Possessions. The authors write about the process of dealing with a loved one's material possessions, and how that process can be fraught with pain and indecision. Yet the authors write that, when ready, letting go of a loved one's material possessions often offers a feeling of release. The act says: "I've decided to let you go. I am not going to forget you or ever stop loving you, but I have to do this for me."
* Facing Those Special Days. As anyone who has lost someone knows, dealing with special days like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can be some of the roughest days to get through. The authors talk about the benefits of letting go of the old way of doing things and starting something new—a process that can be difficult but ultimately healing.
The book itself is very attractively packaged. It's small square size, making it ideal for picking up and putting down as needed. And the short chapters aren't too overwhelming for someone who is grieving and may not have much energy or interest for long complicated writing. But what really puts the book over the top are the illustrations by Michal Sparks. The book is lavishly illustrated with watercolor nature scenes that might offer peace and comfort in and of themselves.
My Recommendation
I think this compact and attractive little book would be a good choice for giving to someone who has experienced a recent loss. However, with its strong Christian focus, I might think twice about offering it to someone who is not open to Christian-themed messages.
"Two weeks after my father suffered a ministroke, a massive stroke took his life. On the day of his funeral, my older brother, Ray, died of cancer. Over the next eighteen months, I lost my two brothers-in-law and my mother."
Several years later, Cecil's house burnt down and his son-in-law died in the fire.
Liz Allison, who was married to race car driver Davey Allison, lost her husband in a helicopter crash, leaving her with two young kids.
Inspired by their own experiences with grief and loss, Liz and Cecil decided to write a book to help others through the process. As people who have lived through it and "come out the other side," they offer their advice, experiences and stories from others who have experienced loss. It is important to know that the book has a strong Christian focus and includes Bible quotes and prayers throughout. For this reason, it may not be the best choice for someone who does not follow the Christian faith, although the basic advice would apply to anyone. Here is an overview of the twelve "chapters" and the basic messages of each.
* Little Joys. Although grief can seem all-encompassing and never ending, Cecil and Liz write about how the power of little joys—"those moments when you feel lifted beyond your pain; those brief interludes when peace fills your heart and you sense God's presence." Liz found her little joys in nature during her daily walks. Although every one's little joys will be different, we all can find solace in them.
* You're Not Alone. Although many well-meaning people try to offer comfort with the words "you are not alone," the authors write how each of us feel our loss in our own unique way and we do feel alone in our private grief. Yet the authors remind those who grieve that Jesus and God are always with us.
* One Simple Thing. In the aftermath of loss, many people will ask "What can I do for you?" Yet those who are grieving often don't even know what do for themselves. Liz writes about how she just wanted people to say "Here is how I can help you"—no matter how small or simple that thing is.
* Accepting Help. "After weeks of ignoring offers of assistance from well-wishers," Liz writes, "a good friend insisted I needed help, and she was going to help me figure out exactly what I needed. That was one of the best gifts a friend could have given me—a gentle but firm intervention." The authors also remind us that "receiving help is also a way to honor and encourage those who offer."
Make It Go Away. The pain and hurt after losing a loved one can feel soul-crushing and as if it will never go away, and it will take each person a different amount of time to work through their pain and grief. The authors remind us that sometimes the only way out of the pain is through it ... even if you only let yourself feel the pain for one minute, one hour or one day at a time.
* Why Did You Leave Me? Although this question might seem irrational, it is very common. The authors recommend working through these feelings of abandonment and anger by talking to the person you lost and realizing that "...feelings are emotions—they are not reality." By accepting and acknowledging our feelings, no matter how irrational, we begin to own them and deal with them.
*If Only I Had... It is understandable to have regrets about what we did or didn't do when faced with a loss. The authors write about how instead of trying to get past these feelings, we realize that "in time the power of these emotions will diminish" and to not let them dominate our lives.
* What's Wrong with Self-Pity? The authors distinguish between self-pity and self-absorption. It is perfectly natural to feel sorry for yourself upon losing a loved one. The key is not let it reach an unhealthy and crippling state.
* Perfect Grieving. Many people have an idea that grief should be done within a certain amount of time. One mother who lost her newborn son told Cecil: "I wanted an A-plus on my grieving report card. By the time I went for my six-week checkup, I expected to be over all that grief. At least a year passed before I could honestly acknowledge that I was healed." The message here is that no one can push you through your grief—especially yourself.
* Am I Crazy? People who are grieving often experience extreme highs and extreme lows—moving from tears one moment to hysterical laughter the next, from anger to sadness and back again. Liz writes of asking herself over and over: "Am I losing my mind?" The authors provide reassurance that not feeling like yourself and experiencing ups and downs is a normal and expected part of the grief process.
* Material Possessions. The authors write about the process of dealing with a loved one's material possessions, and how that process can be fraught with pain and indecision. Yet the authors write that, when ready, letting go of a loved one's material possessions often offers a feeling of release. The act says: "I've decided to let you go. I am not going to forget you or ever stop loving you, but I have to do this for me."
* Facing Those Special Days. As anyone who has lost someone knows, dealing with special days like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can be some of the roughest days to get through. The authors talk about the benefits of letting go of the old way of doing things and starting something new—a process that can be difficult but ultimately healing.
The book itself is very attractively packaged. It's small square size, making it ideal for picking up and putting down as needed. And the short chapters aren't too overwhelming for someone who is grieving and may not have much energy or interest for long complicated writing. But what really puts the book over the top are the illustrations by Michal Sparks. The book is lavishly illustrated with watercolor nature scenes that might offer peace and comfort in and of themselves.
My Recommendation
I think this compact and attractive little book would be a good choice for giving to someone who has experienced a recent loss. However, with its strong Christian focus, I might think twice about offering it to someone who is not open to Christian-themed messages.
May 9, 2014
Have you lost a loved one recently? Do you wish to reach out to someone close to you who is struggling with grief?
Authors Cecil Murphey and Liz Allison both know what it feels like to lose loved ones. Liz found herself suddenly plunged into widowhood, leaving her with two small children to care for. Cecil faced the deaths of five close family members within eighteen months. The opening words of this book say it all: "No one grieves the way you do. Your grief is private and intimate."
Others try to come alongside you. Sometimes they help. Sometimes they make things worse. This book contains the words and the simplicity to reach deep inside, to the areas that hurt so badly you feel you'll never recover. It says to you, "It's all right to be you, and it's all right to feel exactly the way you do."
I bought this book in March 2010 and put it to one side to read--sometime. Then I lost two family members within 10 weeks. I remembered the book, and read it through in an evening. I was so impressed with the thoughts and compassion contained in the pages, I gave it to my newly widowed brother-in-law the next day to read. I only loaned it to him, as I knew he wasn't a reader and probably wouldn't read it. He not only read it over and over, he ordered several from an online bookstore so that he could share the message with others.
The delightful packaging of the book, the simple and inspiring stories, and the beautiful illustrations by Michael Sparks combine to make this an ideal gift for anyone who is faced with the inevitable--the loss of a loved one.
Authors Cecil Murphey and Liz Allison both know what it feels like to lose loved ones. Liz found herself suddenly plunged into widowhood, leaving her with two small children to care for. Cecil faced the deaths of five close family members within eighteen months. The opening words of this book say it all: "No one grieves the way you do. Your grief is private and intimate."
Others try to come alongside you. Sometimes they help. Sometimes they make things worse. This book contains the words and the simplicity to reach deep inside, to the areas that hurt so badly you feel you'll never recover. It says to you, "It's all right to be you, and it's all right to feel exactly the way you do."
I bought this book in March 2010 and put it to one side to read--sometime. Then I lost two family members within 10 weeks. I remembered the book, and read it through in an evening. I was so impressed with the thoughts and compassion contained in the pages, I gave it to my newly widowed brother-in-law the next day to read. I only loaned it to him, as I knew he wasn't a reader and probably wouldn't read it. He not only read it over and over, he ordered several from an online bookstore so that he could share the message with others.
The delightful packaging of the book, the simple and inspiring stories, and the beautiful illustrations by Michael Sparks combine to make this an ideal gift for anyone who is faced with the inevitable--the loss of a loved one.
Read
June 3, 2010I jumped at the chance to review this book - and do the interview with at least one of the authors - because I hoped it would be a good resource that I could use for those going through a "time of loss."
Working within a children's ministry, often the "loss" revolves around either a grandparent (ok, sometimes a pet). I hoped this would be a book I could pass to parents within my ministry.
This book definitely met and exceeded expectations. Simple, direct and to the point, it walks through several subjects faced by people dealing with grief.
Using examples from their own lives, Allison and Murphey help readers find practical and easy ways to deal with their emotions, feelings and well, even the things well-meaning people may say.
The illustrations, created by Sparks are beautiful. The soft pastels work in tandem with the words to create a resource that is not only practical, but comforting.
This book will definitely go on my parenting resource bookshelf. It would definitely be worth purchasing several in bulk and passing them to a family dealing with a death. Simple in nature, the message is quite powerful and timely.
April 9, 2010
My grandmother used to say, “Good things come in small packages.” That’s certainly true of this book. There’s a lot of wisdom packed in these pages, and the fact that it’s brief is part of the beauty of the message. If you’ve ever wondered what to say to someone who has lost a loved one, you’ll find the answer here. If you’ve felt helpless in the face of someone’s grief, this book delivers practical advice on what to say and how to offer real comfort.
Words of Comfort for Times of Loss isn’t just for those who desire to reach out to someone who has suffered a loss, either. If you’ve lost someone close to you, the experiences of authors Liz Allison and Cecil Murphey will resonate with you. With eloquence and understanding they open their hearts and share the deep pain of their own losses. The comfort they offer is real, and their words will bring hope and encouragement to all who read them.
Words of Comfort for Times of Loss isn’t just for those who desire to reach out to someone who has suffered a loss, either. If you’ve lost someone close to you, the experiences of authors Liz Allison and Cecil Murphey will resonate with you. With eloquence and understanding they open their hearts and share the deep pain of their own losses. The comfort they offer is real, and their words will bring hope and encouragement to all who read them.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews