Agnes's Broken Dreams

by Judy King

It has been thirty years since Agnes last visited the country of her birth and upbringing. While it is at the request of her aging, narcissistic mother, she has her own reasons for making the journey to Australia from her home on Mallorca. Something has blighted her life since childhood. Something has cast such a long shadow over her existence that her ability to grasp at life fully, to appreciate her own sense of self-worth, to attain any semblance of happiness, to trust without reservation, has been damaged. Those whom she chooses, and who choose her, seem to want only to exploit her. Having undergone a long period of psychotherapy, Agnes can now return to re-experience the places that featured in her youth in the hope that burning questions will be answered, haunting mysteries solved, and buried memories let out into the light… This is the vibrant, heartening, and often amusing tale of a buoyant and irrepressible woman whose natural energy and determination continue to drive her forward. Having reached middle age, she is determined to grapple with - and heal - the ills that have beset her.

456 pages, Paperback

Published January 10, 2023

About the author

Judy King grew up in Sydney Australia. After a troubled beginning, she emerged in the nineteen sixties to establish a successful Real Estate and property development business in Paddington. Selling up to travel the world, she settled with her husband for a year in London, where she divided her time between working in an antique shop in King's Road selling antique scientific instruments and attending an art school in Lambeth. On the strength of her art work in London, she was accepted back in Sydney into a two year ceramics course at the Sydney College of the Arts.

Judy and her husband divorced after the birth of their son in 1976. More recently she has divided her time between making art and renovating old houses in Mallorca. She currently lives in Soller in an old stone house she renovated with an orchard behind. A walker all her life, her greatest joy is to follow the donkey paths up into the mountains that surround the valley she lives in.

Reviews

[Becca Scammell · Rating 4 out of 5]

"One day of liberation is worth a lifetime of struggle."

In this beautifully written and profoundly emotive story. Judy takes her readers on a fabulously crafted journey of courage, strength, determination, validation, triumph over adversity and ultimately healing.

Agnes's story is as harrowing as it is inspirational and Judy brilliantly and sensitively writes about amnesia, adoption, domestic, mental, physical and emotional abuse, dysfunctional family dynamics, child neglect and bullying. To name but a few... Ultimately providing Agnes with an all-important platform to find her voice, speak her truth and find courage to heal and find freedom from a painful and damaging early life.

I resonated with and related to Agnes on so many levels. Leaving me with a sense of hope and a renewed strength, validation and determination to keep travelling forward on my own journey of healing. Which speaks volumes about Judy's talent as a writer and her ability to find a connection with her readers.

It's a story that will stay with me and one that I will recommend to anyone wanting to make sense of their own life journey. But also to anyone who would like to know more about all manner of abuse and how it affects those who have experienced it.

[BooksCoffee · Rating 5 out of 5]

King’s evocative novel depicts one woman’s coming-of-age journey as she returns to her hometown to unravel the long-buried secrets of her traumatic past. Growing up, Agnes has been the target of her narcissistic, unhinged mother’s wrath, but there’s very little she remembers about her father. When her divorce finalizes, she knows time has come for her to deal with her troubled past. She returns to Australia, the place of her birth and upbringing, and begins to look into the missing period of her childhood. Will she discover the truth? Will it set her free?

Agnes is a vulnerable yet intelligent and perceptive character who easily gains readers’ sympathies. The well-developed chapters read like individual narratives, but King keeps the book’s central themes of trauma and enduring pain constant.

The prose is a bit cluttered but Agnes’ story picks up pace right from the very first page, and readers will find it nearly impossible to stop reading. A hard-hitting tale that highlights the different ways in which childhood trauma shapes a person’s life.

[Louise Gray · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting account which gives insight to Australia of the time as well as to the author’s own life experience. As with any memoir, I am impressed by the author’s willingness to explore and share often deeply personal and sensitive experiences and observations.

[Carol Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific book. The writing style and Agnes's story of familial adversity, and overcoming this, held my attention throughout. The sense of place and descriptions of life in Australia are expertly and beautifully drawn. A book I would recommend.

[Blue]

Like most people, Agnes, at sixty-four, is ready to recall the sweet and bitter memories of her past. A trip back to Australia can only help her recall those other worlds. Her dreams also become fodder for her thoughts. She especially wishes to remember her father. Reading this book is like reading a true memoir.

Some times Australia seems like a mysterious continent. Much of what we know is just about the convicts living there. Also,we can connect to it by thinking of sheep and The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough.We might know a bit about sheep too. Plus, the Aboriginals come to mind. How dated is that information?

Agnes's Broken Dreams by Judy King is made up of Psychology. Agnes has heavy questions about her ancestry. It is so sad to have lived like Agnes with empty places in our hearts and minds.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her poignant debut, King explores the long-term ramifications of childhood trauma in the life of her vulnerable protagonist. Agnes has always struggled with the tortured memories of her troubled childhood, making her a target of opportunists who want nothing but to exploit her. The relationships she makes, the people she trusts always betray her. When her estranged mother contacts her, pleading to see her, Agnes knows it is time she faces the demons of her past and sets out to visit Australia, her birth place. As she begins to investigate her family’s past, she unravels a shocking secret.

There’s plenty of potential for melodrama in Agnes’ story: a series of compressed episodes chronicle Agnes’s ordinary life as a child, adolescent, and adult: growing up in a dysfunctional family; neglect, psychological and physical abuse at the hands of her parents; abusive romantic relationships; unhappy marriage; her broken relationship with her immediate and extended family; and her partial amnesia.

They beautifully illustrate the ways in which grief circumscribes her life, leaving her helpless. It’s easy to root for Agnes on her difficult journey to self-realization, and the charming Australian setting only adds to the appeal of this intricate tale. The ending, though sad, promises hope for Agnes’s future. A compulsively readable meditation on trauma, grief, survival, and self-discovery.

[Valerie Brown · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book. I have chosen to write this honest review voluntarily and it reflects my personal opinion.
From the beginning the reader is thrust into the failure of the author's marriage, the difficulties of obtaining a divorce then property details which confused me under headings of 'the deal' and 'the house'. These were not chapters, just a long ramble of how her husband confused her. Whilst this is evidently a real story it did not fit the blurb about a woman uncovering childhood secrets. Editing and providing a more focused tale would have made it more appealing, it was not for me.

[Patrice Gotting - #prdgreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Thoughts: this was such a difficult read all the way through, it really took a toll on your emotions. I felt for Agnes.. where she found the strength to carry on from I’ll never know!

I know this was fiction, but it honestly felt like a memoir/biography. it took you through Agnes’s whole life, her family life was heartbreaking you could feel the hatred and anger that her parents had for her dropping off the page, the only highlight she had throughout were school friends whose houses she was able to escape to & even that didn’t last.

As she got older the pressure she feels from both herself and family members just keeps mounting.

Watching her come into her own and confront her past was such an amazing feeling like she was almost sticking her middle finger up to everyone who was against her.

I couldn’t read this on one go as the subject matter was heavy, but my word was it worth it!

[Judy King · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating and absorbing journey spanning childhood through to late adulthood. Deeply affecting, at times harrowing. The characterizations have a lively authenticity. The goodies shine through like nuggets of golden joy and hope . The story is an immersion into the social history of Sydney, family, relationships ,religion, loss guilt , wealth, class, survival and success.
An uplifting redemption and transformation of the self through a lifetime of pain, discord and disconnection. Ultimately, through the balm of creativity .
Felicity Dixson Sydney