Practical Wisdom for Parents: Demystifying the Preschool Years

by Nancy Schulman

The directors of one of the country’s most admired preschools, the 92nd Street Y Nursery School in New York City, draw on their fifty years of combined experience—as educators, admissions directors, parents, and respected leaders in early education—to give parents of children between the ages of three and five the guidance they need to feel confident and empowered. Authoritative, comprehensive, and tremendously reassuring, here’s a no-nonsense guide to navigating nursery school life both at home and in the classroom, and a celebration of a very special time in the life of a child.

The early years of childhood are a singular time in the life of a family, a period of unparalled growth and discovery for parents as well as for children. It’s a time of unique closeness, of physical and emotional intimacy and intensity. And it’s at precisely this time that a child today takes his or her first steps into the world beyond the cocoon of home and family. This can be exciting, gratifying, glorious; it can also be a source of ambivalence and anxiety. For many parents, letting go of our children is one of the greatest challenges we’ll ever face.

Nancy Schulman and Ellen Birnbaum’s Practical Wisdom for Parents is a response to the hunger for practical information that accompanies this incomparable epoch in the life of a child, the result of thousands of relationships with young children and their families. What should we look for in a preschool? How can we best assess what kind of preschool is right for our child? How can we help our children prepare for the increasingly pressurized interview process, and how can we prepare for it ourselves? What are the most effective and painless strategies for separation, discipline, toilet training, and bedtime? How can we stimulate our children without overscheduling them, and where should we draw the line? What are the best books, toys, and activities at every stage, and how can we best support and encourage a child’s early social and intellectual development, at home as well as at school?

In the classroom, in parent workshops, in the admissions office, and as parents themselves, Nancy Schulman and Ellen Birnbaum have devoted their lives to listening to and understanding children between the ages of three and five. Practical Wisdom for Parents is as warm and humorous as it is reassuring and a marvelous resource from two experienced, knowledgeable educators.

Genres: Parenting

352 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

Reviews

[Taron · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel this was a very helpful overview to thinking about the preschool years holistically with very helpful specific sections for dealing with different situations. Some of the sections were not relevant to me (particularly the school bits as I live in the U.K. and this is U.S. system focused), but it is easy to skip around - read what is relevant and come back to sections when you need them. I feel like I definitely will be dipping into this book from time to time - a very good reference! I also really like the section on ethics/morals - I haven't seen this as much in parenting books and feel this is important and sometimes overlooked.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I read this during year 1 of motherhood. It explained so much! If only could go back in time.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a fabulous book, my only complaint is that I did not find it sooner, when Justin was several years younger. The advice is so well organized in the book and most of it I have discovered through my own trial and error is spot on! The book talks about Nursery schools, Home Life, Morals and Ethics in Children, Routines, and so much more. The advice is so straight forward, honest and easy to relate to. The one thing I love about this book is that the authors have so much experience in the field of children, not as doctors or psychologists but as teachers. You know when you read what they are suggesting that you are getting the best knowledge years of experience has to offer.

One section in particular that I really found enlightening was the section on routines. We have a fairly structured daily home life. My husband would like it to be more structured but its harder for me to follow through especially when he isnt around and I just want to kick back and have fun with the kids and have a less hectic life. From reading this book I realized that organizing our day to day life helps make our lives less hectic and stressful and MORE fun. When everyone in the family knows whats expected of them its easier to get through the day calmly. Setting clear guidelines for children and a structured routine helps avoid conflicts and difficult transitions within the day, things we sometimes still struggle with Justin. Since reading this book we have been strictly following the set bedtime for the kids and the routine for bedtime: dinner, family play time, baths, snack, books/reading and bed at the same time every night. The kids have fallen into the pattern of this routine again and happily gone to sleep with no issues or arguing. I found that having a flexible bedtime was creating more battles for bed then if I was consistent and firm. The kids were less grouchy in the mornings and more refreshed too and we are all a little happier.

Another thing that I read and have been following is related to the television at night. The book suggests that its never a good idea to watch television before bed because this actually stimulates children, no matter how mild the show is. Instead we have been reading more books and playing games with the kids in the living room, away from the television altogether so its not even a visable issue.

There is so much valuable and practical knowledge in this book that I couldn't possibly go into all the details here. Its a must read for all parents.

[Maya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel sometimes like I have dug into every parenting book possible but I'm well aware that there are a ridiculous amount out there. I found out about this book by reading another book and decided to give it a try.

I have to say that I wish I had read this book when my oldest was a bit younger. The authors hit on the things I feel passionate about including how much pressure is currently on parents and how our confidence in parenting is at an all-time low because of the pressures.

There is so much pressure placed on parents right now and I love the way they phrase this, "In the rush to the finish line, many parents forget to place enough importance on childhood’s simplest pleasures-playing along or with others, spending time with a parent doing something fun, or creating special family traditions."

This book touches on everything from choosing a preschool to potty training to talking to your preschooler about difficult subjects like death, etc.

Some of my other favorite quotes from the book:
"The two most important things you can do from the list above are love your children unconditionally and set limits for them."

"Children don’t need to be busy, it’s the everyday ordinary things that children appreciate the most. Keep it simple."

"Time with your child will afford you the opportunity to remember the things that made you happy in your childhood, to be silly and playful, to laugh and express yourself, and to find pleasure in her discoveries and experiences."

"As important as school is to young children, the center of a child’s life is his home and family. The majority of his time is spent at home, and the influence of his family will be the single most important factor in his life."

"Importance of giving up on the idea of perfection. When you’re no longer imagining the “perfect” parent or family, you can put your energy into being a good enough parent for your family."

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

When my son was a baby, I went into information gathering mode and relied on a handful of books as my bibles to childrearing--and recommended them to scores of friends with newborns. When my son hit toddlerhood, however, two things happened: 1) I got tired of reading so many parenting books and preferred to actually read something non-child related and 2) no books on toddlers "spoke" to me as the earlier tomes had. Now that my son has hit the terrible twos and every day seems to be an uphill battle where I, oh, pretty much feel like just about the worst mother in the world, alternately yelling at him and caving into him, I was desperate for some help and this book very calmly provided it. I read most of it straight through, skimming through some parts that weren't really relevant right now, and found it to be an excellent resource on better understanding my son during these both frustrating and amazing years. I expect that I will refer back to it time and time again.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

My third child is such that I actually pick up books like this, hoping for some as-yet uncovered wisdom. Alas, it contained no new information! However, I appreciated the authors' tone and basic childrearing philosophy; I think I would have gotten a lot out of this book if I were reading it in reference to my first preschooler. Mostly, I was impressed that the directors of the 92 Street Y (THE most exclusive preschool in Manhattan - not that they say that, but it's true) have such a down to earth approach to early childhood education. It sounded a lot like what my four year old is getting...for half the price!

[E.d. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is true to its title: practical wisdom for parents. It's full of good advice for parents of preschoolers. The first part explains in detail how to choose a school and all the necessary steps involved that follow starting school -- from separation anxiety to adjusting to school life. The second part is about life at home and covers an array of topics that provide practical tips to common challenging situations that arise in our homes when dealing with young children.

[Katrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This has a very level-headed, practical tone to it. It's filled with lots of good information about choosing a preschool, preparing your child for school, etc. And at the end of every chapter is a list of recommended children's books.

[Laurie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely took a few strategies and insight from the authors, but they tried to cover so much ground and some advice suffered from being too broad and vague. The books is divided into two parts: school and home. The parts that didn't apply to us I skimmed.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Comprehensive and basic at the same time. There were some sections I really liked and others I agreed with less.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contained lots of very practical advice for parents about preschoolers. It makes an excellent reference tool.

[Tara · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book offered no new insights into the habits or psyche of preschoolers. I say skip it unless you know absolutely nothing about children.

[Robinne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not awful, but mostly just obvious.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

So helpful for me now with Kai. Specific suggestions for what to do to help Kai with school.