Getting Along (Almost) With Your Adult Kids: A Decade by Decade Guide

by Lois Leiderman Davitz, Joel Robert Davitz

Brand new book!

128 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2003

Reviews

[Douglas Lord · Rating 1 out of 5]

Platitudes occur throughout this guide on maintaining relationships with adult children. Though the Davitzes, both psychologists, serve up occasional panache (e.g., "Twenty is an adult, at least in the 20-year-old's mind"), most of their text is elementary. Via anecdotes and general guidelines, they discuss adult children by cohort (e.g., thirties, forties) and offer little how-to advice about dealing with issues common to each period. When the authors do dole it out--"curb your temptation to initiate telephone calls"--it will disconcert readers. Also disheartening is the admonishing tone: "Your major function is to provide practical help for your 30- to 39-year-old kids with families," regardless of appreciation or respect. Encouraging parents to be doormats for their grown children will only hurt feelings and damage what should by now be a mature, albeit special, relationship. Stick with Deborah Tannen's essential I Only Say This Because I Love You, or try Susan Newman's Nobody's Baby Now: Reinventing Your Adult Relationship with Your Mother and Father. Not recommended.

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[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

The authors' advice is to smile through everything - and zip your lips. Basically, they do not recommend any boundaries.

What I took away from this book is to emotionally detach so that any hurtful things are not allowed an affect. Through this technique, I failed to learn how this will afford honest relationships.