The Broken Home; Or, Lessons in Sorrow

by Benjamin M. Palmer

Publisher: New Orleans: E.S. Upton Publication date: 1890 Subjects: Consolation Bereavement Sorrow Death

166 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1891

About the author

Benjamin Morgan Palmer (aka B.M. Palmer), an orator and Presbyterian theologian, was the first moderator of the Presbyterian Church in the Confederate States of America.

Reviews

[Miles Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Palmer's reflected on his encounters with--and journey alongside--death in the form of this book. It recalls the lives and deaths of three daughters and his wife. Palmer seems somewhat numb, which I think makes the book more moving. He's trying to find a reason--searching for some sanctifying influence or purpose--in each death, a perhaps imperfect response but one that nonetheless displays Palmer's humanity. This work will be interesting for anyone looking for Reformed works on grieving, and its a useful history of a nineteenth century southern Presbyterian family as well.

[Anna Kilpatrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bittersweet little book on a pastor’s journey of loss in his life and the spiritual lessons he learned. He walks through losing children, his mother, and finally his wife. His sorrows produced a beautiful faith and spirit and is a blessing to any who have experienced loss or seek to comfort those enduring it. His poetry is particularly moving.

“Alas, that the beautiful should ever die! But God will be served with what we value most; and we will not be envious of Him, who has plucked from our garden the flower whose fragrance was so pleasing to us.”

[Zack · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this short and touching volume, the great Presbyterian minister Benjamin Morgan Palmer relates his personal experience of grief in witnessing the deaths of his infant son, three teenage daughters, mother, and wife. Written from notes, this work is the result of many decades of pastoral experience and reflection. At times beautiful, poignant, heart-breaking, and consoling, this is a worthy read for anyone interested in nineteenth century American history, Christianity, pastoral ministry, or the precious truths which attend filial relations. Palmer surprised me with profound reflections on covenant theology, baptism, and discipleship in the parent-child context. His detailed accounts of the deaths of his loved ones are more instructive than sentimental, and for that cause, this book is much more useful than a mere expression of grief would have been.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

What wisdom! Beautiful and moving. Moving account of the death of Palmer’s children and wife- but how they crossed the great River to the Celestial City!

Prepare yourself and your family for that coming day.

[Brett Rudder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly helpful. A pastoral tone handling extreme cases of sorrow - but from the author's own life, like little pastoral journal entries to himself. Tears and encouragement. Depending on the edition you get, the appendix on prayer at the back of the book is worth the price of the whole book.

[Tim Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 1818, Benjamin Palmer was born in Charleston S.C. He served as a Presbyterian pastor in Charleston, Georgia, and at First Presbyterian in New Orleans until his death in 1902. Additionally, he served as the first moderator of the PCUS in 1861.

Palmer married Mary Augusta McConnell (1822-88) in 1841.
They would go on to have 6 children:
Benjamin Blakely (1842-1844) | Chapter 1
Sarah Frances [Fanny] (1844-1863) | Chapter 2
Mary Howe [Molly] (1847-?)
Augusta Barnard [Gussie] (1849-1875) | Chapter 5
Kate Gordon (1853-1871) | Chapter 3
Marion Louisa (1856-1873) | Chapter 4

The Broken home tells the stories of those final moments between family and loved one. At times, difficult and emotional, each chapter also encourages the reader with the faithfulness of God and the blessed assurance we have and of the betterment of where we are heading.

I was particularly fond of how earnestly Palmer and family pursued the assurance of their passing loved one. They were frank about the reality of death and the importance of salvation, whereas we today may be too timid to speak so boldly. Overall, a recommended read.

Note: the author obscures the names in his writing, providing only the first initial of the nickname. The above hopefully helps clear up the confusion that otherwise might be.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sorrowful reflections from a man who knew sorrow well. This is a book that reflects on the death of Palmers' children (5 of the 6), his mother, and his wife. While it is abundantly sad, Palmer clings desperately to Christ and communicates a hope that should serve to comfort us in times of overwhelming grief.

[Peter Stonecipher · Rating 5 out of 5]

An uncomfortable read, but immensely worthwhile. Palmer traces the deaths of four of his children, his mother, and his wife. Importantly, he draws out the lessons he learned from each sorrow. If pastors are supposed to prepare themselves and others for death, this is an invaluable resource.

[Madeline Fary · Rating 5 out of 5]

How true it is, the lessons that accompany sorrow— for those brave and willing to be a pupil. And yet, what hope we have that these sorrows shall not last… and that the lessons grant a foretaste of what it is we all groan for in our souls.

[Ross Treadway · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book, a 19th-Century pastor chronicles the deaths of many members of his home, and how they encouraged one another spiritually in the face of repeated deaths and grief.

There were many valuable nuggets here! This will definitely be a resource I will return to!

[mpsiple · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful discussion on a topic most people avoid. Palmer remembers the deaths of family members (four children, his mother, and his wife) and the lessons he learned from each one.