The Lone Twin: Understanding Twin Bereavement and Loss

by Joan Woodward

People are fascinated with twins - intrigued by their closeness with each other. But what happens when twins are separated, especially by death? Twin mortality is high, but it is not uncommon for a lone twin's loss, at any age, to go unmarked. They need extra help and support to take them through the loss of their 'other half.' The loss of a twin can be devastating to the survivor. Working as an Attachment therapist, Joan Woodward uses John Bowlby's theories as her conceptual base for her research. In this book, she suggests that the highly significant attachment that twins make with each other may begin, for many, before birth. She explains their closeness and tragic experience of death and bereavement. The Lone Twin includes parental attitudes to the surviving twin, the surviving twin's guilt, the ability to cope, and the effect of loss in childhood and adulthood. Of particular interest are those who lost their twin at birth. Throughout, the book is illustrated by the words of surviving twins' affecting accounts of their experiences of bereavement. This is an important and rare book for many professionals - counselors, psychotherapists, social workers, psychologists, and teachers - who come into contact with bereaved twins and yet have little understanding of the dynamics of twinship and of twin loss. Written in jargon-free language, the book is also for the twins themselves, their families, partners, and friends. It gives lone twins the chance to have their voices heard, and it gives professionals the opportunity to develop more effective ways of supporting the lone twin. This greatly expanded and revised second edition details the progress that has been made in the ten years since the book was first published, along with the growth of The Lone Twin Network.

187 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[Titus Campbell]

I am a twin. While my twin brother has passed he is still very much apart of me. This is something I’ve only in the past few years come to understand. I read this book with hope of mutual understanding of how I as a lone twin felt and that was found in these pages. One specific story was heart wrenchingly similar to the way in which I felt. Her parents to no fault of their own raised her with an understanding that she was a twin but it was “detached” so to speak. Meaning it had no effect on her as a child. It did and does. This leads to the suppression of unknown grief. Grief I too have felt and had to wade through. This book has brought a better understanding to the fact that I am a twin a lone twin but a twin nonetheless and that has “consequences”, some good and some bad. I find comfort knowing that my grief is temporary. I have hope in Christ knowing that one day I will be made whole as my brother now is glorifying God continually throughout eternity. I look forward to that day.

[Roos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dit boek gaat over tweelingen waarvan één van de twee is overleden. De achterblijvende persoon wordt 'lone twin' genoemd. Het boek gaat met name over het rouwproces van deze lone twin. Onderscheid wordt gemaakt tussen verlies bij de geboorte, tijdens het opgroeien of als volwassene. Een terugkerend punt bij alle drie de groepen is het grote gemis en gevoel van eenzaamheid dat deze mensen ervaren.


Het boek is erg interessant en toegankelijk geschreven. Een groot gedeelte bestaat uit verklaringen van lone twins over hun ervaringen. Het boek bevat wat psychologische duiding en analyse, maar betreft geen klassiek onderzoek. Een kanttekening is dat redelijk wat mensen die aan bod komen geboren zijn net na afloop van de Tweede Wereldoorlog. Dit heeft onmiskenbaar een eigen grote impact op hun levens gehad, waardoor de verklaringen soms erg uit een andere tijd stammen.

[Victoria Edwards · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very useful source for an analysis I did of a text where the main character is a lone twin. Woodward has uncovered some fascinating information in her research, and I hope that more work is done in this area in the years to come.

[Katie Riley · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a lone twin myself I found it very enlightening. It puts words to the depth of despair for me and words to the ignorance and lack of empathy that is chronic in society today. Wish I would’ve found this book 10yrs ago. It would’ve helped me so much at a very dark time.