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MERE SANDHI PATRA
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
June 21, 2023
4.5 stars. Will update with full review later.
Edited to add review:
I sat with this one for a while.
This book tells the story of 'Shiva'/largely unnamed protagonist and her family, first from the eyes of her two step-daughters, and then finally in her own voice. It is beautifully written, and Suryabala's strength is to pull out the most interesting nuances in the smallest of moments.
I am struggling to articulate what this book is about. Women? Love? Family? Indian Culture? Motherhood? All and none of it exactly. Apt to the title, I guess it is about endless small compromises someone living in intersection of multiple forms of oppression - oppression that they may not always conceptualize as such - makes that all ultimately become the bricks in an emotional wall.
I am also surprised, and somewhat ashamed to be surprised, at how 'ahead of its time' this book feels. There are some serious topics touched upon - emotional abuse, a critical look at traditional marriage, place of love outside marriage, intersection of class and gender and (my favourite) the complexity of mother-daughter relationship under patriarchy.
For the last one, there were two pieces of analysis I had read in different places that kept swirling in my head as I went through this book: daughters often resent their mothers for not protecting them from patriarchal violence, even though the mother is a victim of the same violence. And secondly, mothers who are not able to stand up to abuse and injustice, accidentally end up teaching their daughters to do the same. And all of this captured in a fairly straightforward story. Among the myriad things the book can be about, this to me shone the brightest, though everyone will inevitably bring their own perspective to the life and story of Shiva.
Needless to say, I enjoyed this very much, and will be forcing everyone around me to read it over the next few months.
Edited to add review:
I sat with this one for a while.
This book tells the story of 'Shiva'/largely unnamed protagonist and her family, first from the eyes of her two step-daughters, and then finally in her own voice. It is beautifully written, and Suryabala's strength is to pull out the most interesting nuances in the smallest of moments.
I am struggling to articulate what this book is about. Women? Love? Family? Indian Culture? Motherhood? All and none of it exactly. Apt to the title, I guess it is about endless small compromises someone living in intersection of multiple forms of oppression - oppression that they may not always conceptualize as such - makes that all ultimately become the bricks in an emotional wall.
I am also surprised, and somewhat ashamed to be surprised, at how 'ahead of its time' this book feels. There are some serious topics touched upon - emotional abuse, a critical look at traditional marriage, place of love outside marriage, intersection of class and gender and (my favourite) the complexity of mother-daughter relationship under patriarchy.
For the last one, there were two pieces of analysis I had read in different places that kept swirling in my head as I went through this book: daughters often resent their mothers for not protecting them from patriarchal violence, even though the mother is a victim of the same violence. And secondly, mothers who are not able to stand up to abuse and injustice, accidentally end up teaching their daughters to do the same. And all of this captured in a fairly straightforward story. Among the myriad things the book can be about, this to me shone the brightest, though everyone will inevitably bring their own perspective to the life and story of Shiva.
Needless to say, I enjoyed this very much, and will be forcing everyone around me to read it over the next few months.
May 4, 2025
कितनी सहजता से सूर्यबाला वो कह जाती हैं जो हम काफ़ी सोच विचार के बाद भी नहीं समझ पाते। एक स्त्री का जीवन सिर्फ़ संधि पत्रों से बना है, उसकी ख़ुद की केवल २ रातें है।
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews