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Inside the Teenage Brain: Parenting a Work in Progress
Teenagers are perplexing, intriguing, and spirited creatures. In an attempt to discover the secrets to their thoughts and actions, parents have tried talking, cajoling, and begging them for answers. The result has usually been just more confusion. But new and exciting light is being shed on these mysterious young adults. What was once thought to be hormones run amuck can now be explained with modern medical technology. MRI and PET scans view the human brain while it is alive and functioning. To no one's surprise, the teenage brain is under heavy construction! These discoveries are helping parents understand the (until now) unexplainable teenager. Neuroscience can help parents adjust to the highs and lows of teenage behavior. Typically, this transformation is a prickly proposition for both teens and their families, but the trials and tribulations of adolescence give teenagers a second chance to develop and create the brain they will take into adulthood.
- GenresParenting
148 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2009
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74 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
May 26, 2024
I attempted to read parenting books when my children were younger and I've delved into a few parenting-of-teenagers books in my recent past. Somehow I felt these books were directed at a specific subset of children or teens and these never fit my children. "Inside the Teenage Brain" is general enough to include the struggles of both my children and yours, but specific in it's recommendations on how to handle each difficulty. This book is mercifully short. The hardcover edition I read is 113 pages consisting of 11 chapters. (I skipped the book club chapter. I would have hated to read this with a book club. I already have enough difficulty with comparing my children to other people's. I am trying to NOT compare.)
Feinstein covers everything I needed her to: teens apparent laziness, their social needs, their sleep needs, their study and learning habits, their intense emotions, and their attraction risk. She simply steps through every issue you have with your teen and says either "Ignore it. It will fix itself as the teen grows," or "Keep an eye on it and take the following actions if need be." How perfectly simple.
I never thought I would give a parenting book five stars. I do not hesitate to give "Inside the Teenage Brain" five stars. However, no book is perfect. These are my complaints:
1) (an editing complaint) Early in the first chapter, the author refers to "the formula for pi." There is no formula for pi. It's an irrational constant. Am I being nit-picky? Yes, but the gaff is very early in the book and it erodes the reader's confidence in the author. I don't really expect an expert in child psychology to consider "what" pi is, but I do expect her editors to catch a mistake and clean it up.
2) In chapter 5 on teens' social life, Feinstein spends a section on conformity. Her overall recommendation is to allow teens to conform. Mostly, she highlights haircuts, clothing, manner of speech and use of slang as elements around which you live and let live. "Let your kids dress like his or her peers, have similar curfews, and follow the same rules as long as they are reasonable." I take issue with the final statement, "follow the same rules..." My kids will always tell me that I am the strictest parent on the block. And I believe them! Until I talk to everyone else's parents. Then I look too lax. The goals of conformity are almost impossible to meet. It's hard enough on the teen to chase sameness. I, as a parent, am here to embrace what's different about my kid. (But seriously, why would I care how my kid cuts their hair? And beyond some very basic decency, I don't care what they wear either. My daughters have been dressing themselves since preschool. If they can put it on themselves, they can wear it.)
3) This book was written in 2009. Most of it is great and applies perfectly to my kids, only one of which was even born in 2009. However, Chapter 10 on technology needs some updating. I'm not actually worried about sexting (though I respect the concern). I'm worried about how much time my kids spend on devices and how to manage that. Digital life in our house seems to require the most hands-on of all the parenting I do. I have no confidence in how I'm handling Fortnite, YouTube consumption, YouTube production, and social media. Feinstein offers no help with these because they were not much of a thing in 2009. I would love a second edition to this book or a recommendation for another, more recent one.
Feinstein covers everything I needed her to: teens apparent laziness, their social needs, their sleep needs, their study and learning habits, their intense emotions, and their attraction risk. She simply steps through every issue you have with your teen and says either "Ignore it. It will fix itself as the teen grows," or "Keep an eye on it and take the following actions if need be." How perfectly simple.
I never thought I would give a parenting book five stars. I do not hesitate to give "Inside the Teenage Brain" five stars. However, no book is perfect. These are my complaints:
1) (an editing complaint) Early in the first chapter, the author refers to "the formula for pi." There is no formula for pi. It's an irrational constant. Am I being nit-picky? Yes, but the gaff is very early in the book and it erodes the reader's confidence in the author. I don't really expect an expert in child psychology to consider "what" pi is, but I do expect her editors to catch a mistake and clean it up.
2) In chapter 5 on teens' social life, Feinstein spends a section on conformity. Her overall recommendation is to allow teens to conform. Mostly, she highlights haircuts, clothing, manner of speech and use of slang as elements around which you live and let live. "Let your kids dress like his or her peers, have similar curfews, and follow the same rules as long as they are reasonable." I take issue with the final statement, "follow the same rules..." My kids will always tell me that I am the strictest parent on the block. And I believe them! Until I talk to everyone else's parents. Then I look too lax. The goals of conformity are almost impossible to meet. It's hard enough on the teen to chase sameness. I, as a parent, am here to embrace what's different about my kid. (But seriously, why would I care how my kid cuts their hair? And beyond some very basic decency, I don't care what they wear either. My daughters have been dressing themselves since preschool. If they can put it on themselves, they can wear it.)
3) This book was written in 2009. Most of it is great and applies perfectly to my kids, only one of which was even born in 2009. However, Chapter 10 on technology needs some updating. I'm not actually worried about sexting (though I respect the concern). I'm worried about how much time my kids spend on devices and how to manage that. Digital life in our house seems to require the most hands-on of all the parenting I do. I have no confidence in how I'm handling Fortnite, YouTube consumption, YouTube production, and social media. Feinstein offers no help with these because they were not much of a thing in 2009. I would love a second edition to this book or a recommendation for another, more recent one.
March 16, 2019
Positives-it's short and to the point and also very readable. It goes into some brain science but not so much that you get lost in all the scientific minutiae. There's interesting "fast facts" about brains and it's nice to know about how different parts of the brain and different neurotransmitters affect behavior and thought processes.
Negatives- some of the book just seemed like common sense about how to handle things and what teens go through, and some of it felt like the advice was often just "grin and bear it, this too shall pass" or "discuss stuff with your teen", which is probably decent advice but just felt a little repetitive at times, and sometimes it felt like, surely, there's a better option than just ignoring this behavior.
Overall, if you have never read anything about teens or observed them, this would be informative and eye-opening, but a lot of it is common sense, but a good reminder of what to expect and what a parent should or shouldn't do. The book always comes back to parts of the brain not being developed yet so don't expect the teens to be able to do better, but a question that was raised in another book (iGen) is whether the lack of experience and the coddling of today's kids prevents the teen's brain from growing more than it could have. After all, in generations past, teens were working and raising families and fighting in wars. Not that teens should be doing that today, but they seemed capable of a lot more than we give them credit for, and maybe we shouldn't just ignore things and let it pass until they outgrow it, but try to help them grow up.
Negatives- some of the book just seemed like common sense about how to handle things and what teens go through, and some of it felt like the advice was often just "grin and bear it, this too shall pass" or "discuss stuff with your teen", which is probably decent advice but just felt a little repetitive at times, and sometimes it felt like, surely, there's a better option than just ignoring this behavior.
Overall, if you have never read anything about teens or observed them, this would be informative and eye-opening, but a lot of it is common sense, but a good reminder of what to expect and what a parent should or shouldn't do. The book always comes back to parts of the brain not being developed yet so don't expect the teens to be able to do better, but a question that was raised in another book (iGen) is whether the lack of experience and the coddling of today's kids prevents the teen's brain from growing more than it could have. After all, in generations past, teens were working and raising families and fighting in wars. Not that teens should be doing that today, but they seemed capable of a lot more than we give them credit for, and maybe we shouldn't just ignore things and let it pass until they outgrow it, but try to help them grow up.
June 6, 2018
I was pleasantly surprised by this short book on the developing teen's mind. I've read A LOT of parenting books, and this one was one of the best. When I view my almost-teen through the lens of what is happening with her brain, her behavior, as unsettling as it may be, seems to make more sense, if that makes any sense. Ha! It really helps so that I don't take her behavior personally and just see it for what it is. Also, this book isn't cutesy, or have some weird slogan or saying repeated through, like some of the more annoying parenting books do. Good job, Sheryl Feinstein.
August 5, 2019
A 3 1/2 stars. Some really good information regarding my teens but it is slightly outdated in the technology section. This book gave me some great things to think about.
July 24, 2016
With a lengthly list of more than sixty references in its bibliography, this slim book is well-researched. Parents and others working with teens will find it a helpful resource and a good reality check. Feinstein is straightforward about the risky behaviors that are common in the teen years, yet she differentiates what behaviors are typical (occasional use of alcohol, experimenting with smoking, and the like) and what are more over-the-top issues suggesting the need for professional guidance. The eleven chapters are well-organized with sub-headings and "fast facts" at the end of each chapter as well as an index making the book accessible as a reference. If you've ever wondered what would I do if my teen comes home with a tattoo or why do I have to ask my teen to take out the trash multiple times, Feinstein has an answer. Very readable and I found the scientific information about the developing brains of adolescents useful and purposefully described.
March 18, 2014
I was hoping for this book to be a lot more scientific. While it did have some basis in research, it didn't cite enough papers and didn't tie its advice to research as much as I'd hoped it would.
Also, the book in general was poorly organized, and the "did you know" and "tips" that were before and after each chapter seemed to have nothing to do with the chapters themselves.
All in all, a few tidbits to help me regain my sanity as I attempt to raise two teenagers, but not enough of what I was really looking for.
Also, the book in general was poorly organized, and the "did you know" and "tips" that were before and after each chapter seemed to have nothing to do with the chapters themselves.
All in all, a few tidbits to help me regain my sanity as I attempt to raise two teenagers, but not enough of what I was really looking for.
July 10, 2015
A great book for parents who are trying to relate to teens acting like, well, teens! My usually amenable 18 year began acting like a typical teen, wanting to be with friends all the time, spacing out and being downright disagreeable. Reading this book was like a light illuminating my brain, enabling me to understand and actually appreciate some of these new traits.
A must read for any parent of a tween or teen, even those mellow, biddable ones!
A must read for any parent of a tween or teen, even those mellow, biddable ones!
February 17, 2016
Some practical advice and rational explanations for why teenagers behave the way they do. There are specific subjects, actions and reactions and practical approaches, although nothing is very deeply detailed.
September 23, 2011
Fantastic! Somewhat repetetive, but the ideas were great. Really helped me with understanding my teen and his reactions.
February 29, 2012
I gained great insight on teenaged behavior based on brain chemistry. Lots of practical parenting advice and help included!
August 29, 2013
Excellent book! A great description of what really happens inside the teen's brain, clear enough for any parent to understand. Please read this book if you are a parent.
June 4, 2013
Must own, can't borrow it because I need to write in it.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews