Living Together: Myths, Risks Answers

by Mike McManus, Charles W. Colson (Foreword by), Harriett McManus

IS LIVING TOGETHER THE ANSWER?Since the late 1960s, the number of couples living together before marriage has increased significantly, as this phenomenon was thought to be the answer to obtaining a successful marriage. The theory that couples could "practice" seemed a perfect solution to an increasingly higher divorce rate. "After all," many argued, "if we live together first, we will really know if we're compatible."Mike and Harriet McManus, co-founders of the Marriage Savers organization, argue in this important book that theory and reality are often not the same. They take a fundamental position that one can not practice permanence, and unless a marriage is established as permanent, a couple will not approach it the same way. This significant finding has come from the McManuses' fifteen years of studying marriage and divorce and their desire to help couples build strong marriages that last a lifetime.In the pages of this book, you will discover that the divorce rate is actually higher among couples who live together before marriage, as well as important principles that really do give couples the necessary tools for a successful marriage.Consider this book an investment in yours or someone else's marriage. Whether you are a counselor seeking to help others in their marriage, a parent helping a child as he or she is contemplating living with someone, a pastor who needs a reliable tool to help couples in his ministry, or a person considering living with someone yourself, this book is for you!

Genres: Marriage, Relationships

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book starts out unpromising, with some alarmist and dated data about the higher rates of domestic violence among unmarried. It takes a few chapters for it to sink in that the author is more interested in helping than condemning cohabitating couples. Come to think of it, the domestic violence rates probably have not improved in the past ten years.
There are two cohorts of people who tend not to marry, and McManus does not address their issues. People with mental illness and with chronic pain have significantly higher divorce rates than the rest of the population. The divorce rates for people with a chronic illness may be as high as seventy-five percent. When reading about the lives of people with mental illness and/or chronic pain, I have had a hard time finding people who are settled in a satisfactory marriage.
So this is marriage prep for the able. Perhaps in 20 years something will developed for the rest of us.

[Zack · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good analysis of the current trends in cohabiting. They give good answers to rebut common reasons for cohabiting. I am not convinced their high standards for premarital counseling are realistic in my context. I am more pragmatic in meeting with couples and meet them where they're at. The writing style is a bit repetative. Probably could have edited out 3 chapters.

[Elise]

This is yet another sterling example of how the misrepresentation of sociological data can serve as the cornerstone of unsound arguments waged by the those engaged in a war-on-the-unwed. The conclusions reached by this couple are startling, ungrounded, and often hysterically funny.

[Ta`Mara Hanscom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent look at the results of "practicing" marriage before it happens. Heart breaking commentary of those individuals who choose to live together before marriage, or never marry anyone.