What do you think?
Rate this book
Mysterious Aisles
AI content free!
Axel Platzoff does not work at the Handy Pavilion by choice. Stacking shelves seemed beneath the former supervillain who had come close to world domination so many times. But as part of his plea deal with the Hague, Axel had to work somewhere, so he worked at the big-box hardware store in the sleepy Australian suburb of South Hertling. Fortunately, he is not the only eccentric employee of the place. Other Pavilionites come from backgrounds almost as strange as Axel's. There are cyborgs, ape-men, ghosts, and assistant managers; dryads, time-travellers, demigods and school leavers. Finally, Axel feels at home.
Then, tragedy strikes. The construction of a rival hardware store, just across Hurley Road, threatens Axel's living and his new friends. Axel has no choice but to to take the fight to his enemies, the only way he knows how. But is the DIY Barn really nothing but a rival hardware store, or is it a front for sinister forces, far more terrifying than the Pavilionites ever imagined? ( It's the second one)
An engaging mix of urban fantasy and workplace comedy, Mysterious Aisles follows its eccentric ensemble cast as they march towards open warfare with the Barnling forces.
Axel Platzoff does not work at the Handy Pavilion by choice. Stacking shelves seemed beneath the former supervillain who had come close to world domination so many times. But as part of his plea deal with the Hague, Axel had to work somewhere, so he worked at the big-box hardware store in the sleepy Australian suburb of South Hertling. Fortunately, he is not the only eccentric employee of the place. Other Pavilionites come from backgrounds almost as strange as Axel's. There are cyborgs, ape-men, ghosts, and assistant managers; dryads, time-travellers, demigods and school leavers. Finally, Axel feels at home.
Then, tragedy strikes. The construction of a rival hardware store, just across Hurley Road, threatens Axel's living and his new friends. Axel has no choice but to to take the fight to his enemies, the only way he knows how. But is the DIY Barn really nothing but a rival hardware store, or is it a front for sinister forces, far more terrifying than the Pavilionites ever imagined? ( It's the second one)
An engaging mix of urban fantasy and workplace comedy, Mysterious Aisles follows its eccentric ensemble cast as they march towards open warfare with the Barnling forces.
442 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 16, 2022
7 people want to read
About the author
B.G. Hilton
9 books13 followersAustralian SFF author BG Hilton spent most of his life doing jobs so tedious that his only escape was entertaining himself with crazy fantasy stories, and now he writes them down in the hope of entertaining others. He specialises in Specilative Fiction, Humour and Non-Fiction. He works in the education sector these days, which would probably surprise any of his teachers. His debut novel -- the Steampunk adventure 'Champagne Charlie and the Amazing Gladys' was published by in early 2020. This was followed by 'Mysterious Aisles' in 2022, 'Clocks and Boxes' in 2023 and 'The Grimsdale Claimant' in 2025. He lives with his family in Sydney, and consequently spends a lot of time in traffic. You can find his blog at bghilton.com; @bghilton on Twitter and @bghilton.author on Facebook.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
January 22, 2023
The mix of likable characters and chaotic plot made this a three-star read for me. Just imagine Home Depot but in the fantasy world and at war with another hardware store. There were so many interesting characters from a man raised by chimps to a former supervillain to a tiny garden gnome who comes alive during the full moon. The humor made this a good read for me but I felt the plot fell short for me. There were so many sub-plot points being thrown in that I kind of got lost in what was happening. Overall, not a bad read at all that made me laugh multiple times.
I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
July 18, 2022
Spoilers: Last year, I thought that Champagne Charlie and The Amazing Gladys by B.G. Hilton was one of the craziest, weirdest novels that I ever read. A Steampunk Science Fiction Adventure novel, it had a madman who wanted to destroy the moon, bat and badger like aliens living on Earth and assimilated into typical English citizens, Irish pirates ready to take out English nobility, a stage magician with a wand that had real magical powers, and a dowager noblewoman who used her nobility as a secret identity for her real self as one of Britain's most renowned crime stoppers.
Now, having read Hilton's Mysterious Aisles (The South Hertling Chronicles Book 1), I have come to realize that Champagne Charlie and the Amazing Gladys was simply the warm up act. Mysterious Aisles dials up the crazy, weird, bizarre, and silly up to eleven. This book is brimming with supervillains and heroes, drunken ghosts, demigods, conspiracy theorists, magic portals, and a store that is actually a den of all evil.
Refrain from the obvious (and somewhat accurate) Wal-Mart and Amazon jokes. For once, it isn't about them.
If you peer close enough and I'm talking with a magnifying glass peering very very closely, you might find a coherent plot in this book. At least in all of the madness in Champagne Charlie and the Amazing Gladys, there is something of an actual engaging and suspenseful story involved. With Mysterious Aisles, it's more of a string of random weirdness, one silly goofy event and character after another that gets sillier and goofier as the book continues. By the end, I expected The Colonel from Monty Python's Flying Circus to show up, break the fourth wall, and say this book is too silly.
But plot is not what we come for in these books. We come for the funny and the weird. That's what this book delivers. Boy, does it deliver.
The main protagonist of Mysterious Aisles is Axel Platzoff, AKA Professor Devistato, a retired supervillain. His days of plotting world domination are over and now he works at the Handy Pavilion, a hardware and outdoor enthusiast store. Unfortunately, Axel's customers include Captain Stellar, Axel's former archenemy who is now going into maudlin detail after his boyfriend dumped him. Stellar and Axel's relationship is less of a villain/ hero and more like two acquaintances turned reluctant friends who see each other and bicker all the time. It's similar to the animated series, The Venture Bros which also shows superheroes and villains having reluctant friendships with each other when off the clock or during retirement.
Besides Axel, Handy Pavilion is also staffed by other specimens of weirdness. There's Laura, a new hire, who after an accident becomes the new superhero on the block. Bruce, a former contractor, who now haunts the store as a ghost, a drunk foul-mouthed ghost. Zorbar Ofthechimps, a staff member, was raised by chimps. Gwen Harper has a magical connection to wood. Angela and Sadie McGregor, twins who take the good twin/bad twin dichotomy to the next level. Buck Dusty, a wannabe cowboy, works in power tools and has a lot of knowledge of different dimensions. Karl Wintergreen, owner of a nearby stationary shop, writes a business newsletter that is actually filled with his conspiracy theories about the Illuminati and the Trilateral Commission. Norman, a young employee, has divine family connections. Seamus, a garden gnome, comes to life during the full moon. Nalda, a killer cyborg from the future, works in Arts and Crafts. Did I mention this store was weird?
Besides the weirdness within, there's also weirdness outside. Handy Pavilion is in frequent rivalry with the nearby DIY Barn. Rather than the conventional means like sales, business acquisition, and better advertising, this corporate rivalry is more like war between countries. The stores resort to such means as kidnapping and explosions to cut the competition.
It turns out that DIY Barn is actually DIY Evil because it apparently is a trans-dimensional portal that welcomes evil demons, spirits, and so on. Handy Pavilion has to battle for more than just awesome savings and friendly customers. They have to battle for souls.
Both DIY and Handy have their go to person to commit the nastier deeds. DIY has the Phantasm, a mysterious figure (who ends up being not really that mysterious) who covertly spies on and sabotages the Handy Pavilion staff (though really not that covertly). Many of Handy's more ruthless endeavors are overseen by Axel, who even though he is officially retired from the supervillain game, is glad to put his talents to good or bad use.
Mysterious Aisles is a book that has a joke on just about every chapter and page. Some don't make sense and don't have to. They just have to be very funny and they are. It's the kind of book where when Handy Pavilion needs the assistance of a plumber, two somewhat familiar characters appear. Two sisters named Maria and Luigina. I said somewhat familiar.
We also learn that Norman is the most recent child of Zeus. Isn't it nice to know after thousands of years, the king of the Greek gods still can't keep it in his robe? All of these character traits add to the overall humor.
There are also hilarious interactions between characters. When Stellar is drunk and heartbroken about his recent breakup, Axel comes up to him and the two act less like opposite sides of good vs. evil abd more like the last two guys to exit the bar during last call.
My favorite interaction is Karl's Newsletters which are supposed to mostly be accounts of local business news and sales but are really just platforms for his craziest conspiracy theories that are then edited and mostly redacted by Claudia, his hapless editor. Karl and Claudia's war of words is uproarious particularly when Karl personally insults her and she comments "Redact this!" Then she leaves a particularly damning accusatory conspiracy theory in just so she can sit back and see what happens.
Then there are the moments that mock the entire plot and the conventions of the genre that this book is in.
One character goes into an overly long diatribe about how the store rivalry is only a small part in a larger plan. Unfortunately, this character's rambling is so boring and confusing that the others (and the narration) lose interest. Something tells me that come Book 2, they are going to wish that they had paid attention.
Mysterious Aisles is what it is. It's crazy, weird, and hilarious. It's not to be taken seriously. Just taken with a good sense of humor and a huge pound of salt. You're going to need them.
Now, having read Hilton's Mysterious Aisles (The South Hertling Chronicles Book 1), I have come to realize that Champagne Charlie and the Amazing Gladys was simply the warm up act. Mysterious Aisles dials up the crazy, weird, bizarre, and silly up to eleven. This book is brimming with supervillains and heroes, drunken ghosts, demigods, conspiracy theorists, magic portals, and a store that is actually a den of all evil.
Refrain from the obvious (and somewhat accurate) Wal-Mart and Amazon jokes. For once, it isn't about them.
If you peer close enough and I'm talking with a magnifying glass peering very very closely, you might find a coherent plot in this book. At least in all of the madness in Champagne Charlie and the Amazing Gladys, there is something of an actual engaging and suspenseful story involved. With Mysterious Aisles, it's more of a string of random weirdness, one silly goofy event and character after another that gets sillier and goofier as the book continues. By the end, I expected The Colonel from Monty Python's Flying Circus to show up, break the fourth wall, and say this book is too silly.
But plot is not what we come for in these books. We come for the funny and the weird. That's what this book delivers. Boy, does it deliver.
The main protagonist of Mysterious Aisles is Axel Platzoff, AKA Professor Devistato, a retired supervillain. His days of plotting world domination are over and now he works at the Handy Pavilion, a hardware and outdoor enthusiast store. Unfortunately, Axel's customers include Captain Stellar, Axel's former archenemy who is now going into maudlin detail after his boyfriend dumped him. Stellar and Axel's relationship is less of a villain/ hero and more like two acquaintances turned reluctant friends who see each other and bicker all the time. It's similar to the animated series, The Venture Bros which also shows superheroes and villains having reluctant friendships with each other when off the clock or during retirement.
Besides Axel, Handy Pavilion is also staffed by other specimens of weirdness. There's Laura, a new hire, who after an accident becomes the new superhero on the block. Bruce, a former contractor, who now haunts the store as a ghost, a drunk foul-mouthed ghost. Zorbar Ofthechimps, a staff member, was raised by chimps. Gwen Harper has a magical connection to wood. Angela and Sadie McGregor, twins who take the good twin/bad twin dichotomy to the next level. Buck Dusty, a wannabe cowboy, works in power tools and has a lot of knowledge of different dimensions. Karl Wintergreen, owner of a nearby stationary shop, writes a business newsletter that is actually filled with his conspiracy theories about the Illuminati and the Trilateral Commission. Norman, a young employee, has divine family connections. Seamus, a garden gnome, comes to life during the full moon. Nalda, a killer cyborg from the future, works in Arts and Crafts. Did I mention this store was weird?
Besides the weirdness within, there's also weirdness outside. Handy Pavilion is in frequent rivalry with the nearby DIY Barn. Rather than the conventional means like sales, business acquisition, and better advertising, this corporate rivalry is more like war between countries. The stores resort to such means as kidnapping and explosions to cut the competition.
It turns out that DIY Barn is actually DIY Evil because it apparently is a trans-dimensional portal that welcomes evil demons, spirits, and so on. Handy Pavilion has to battle for more than just awesome savings and friendly customers. They have to battle for souls.
Both DIY and Handy have their go to person to commit the nastier deeds. DIY has the Phantasm, a mysterious figure (who ends up being not really that mysterious) who covertly spies on and sabotages the Handy Pavilion staff (though really not that covertly). Many of Handy's more ruthless endeavors are overseen by Axel, who even though he is officially retired from the supervillain game, is glad to put his talents to good or bad use.
Mysterious Aisles is a book that has a joke on just about every chapter and page. Some don't make sense and don't have to. They just have to be very funny and they are. It's the kind of book where when Handy Pavilion needs the assistance of a plumber, two somewhat familiar characters appear. Two sisters named Maria and Luigina. I said somewhat familiar.
We also learn that Norman is the most recent child of Zeus. Isn't it nice to know after thousands of years, the king of the Greek gods still can't keep it in his robe? All of these character traits add to the overall humor.
There are also hilarious interactions between characters. When Stellar is drunk and heartbroken about his recent breakup, Axel comes up to him and the two act less like opposite sides of good vs. evil abd more like the last two guys to exit the bar during last call.
My favorite interaction is Karl's Newsletters which are supposed to mostly be accounts of local business news and sales but are really just platforms for his craziest conspiracy theories that are then edited and mostly redacted by Claudia, his hapless editor. Karl and Claudia's war of words is uproarious particularly when Karl personally insults her and she comments "Redact this!" Then she leaves a particularly damning accusatory conspiracy theory in just so she can sit back and see what happens.
Then there are the moments that mock the entire plot and the conventions of the genre that this book is in.
One character goes into an overly long diatribe about how the store rivalry is only a small part in a larger plan. Unfortunately, this character's rambling is so boring and confusing that the others (and the narration) lose interest. Something tells me that come Book 2, they are going to wish that they had paid attention.
Mysterious Aisles is what it is. It's crazy, weird, and hilarious. It's not to be taken seriously. Just taken with a good sense of humor and a huge pound of salt. You're going to need them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 26, 2022
Disclaimer: I received an ARC in exchange for a frank review.
Mysterious Aisles, by B.G. Hilton, is the very ambitious story of two feuding hardware stores in a world of superheros. A cross between an adult rendition of My Hero Academia and Super Store, but with the humor of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, this is one quirky book.
I struggled with the humor for the first 30%, but from there, the jokes were as frequent as they were funny. The quipping throughout is reminiscent of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. I especially enjoyed Karl Wintergreen's rantings. His newsletter is a great time.
The stakes start small but gain mass as the story progresses. With a large cast, keeping the characters straight is tough. One downside to splitting the narrative between so many veiwpoints is that I wasn't invested in any one character. While there is an overarching conflict, the many smaller struggles are convoluted to the point of being confusing.
I wasn't thrilled with the ending but I assume a sequel is in the works that'll tidy matters up. Or spread the chaos. Afterall, Hitchhiker's Guide took its time, coming together.
Mysterious Aisles, by B.G. Hilton, is the very ambitious story of two feuding hardware stores in a world of superheros. A cross between an adult rendition of My Hero Academia and Super Store, but with the humor of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, this is one quirky book.
I struggled with the humor for the first 30%, but from there, the jokes were as frequent as they were funny. The quipping throughout is reminiscent of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. I especially enjoyed Karl Wintergreen's rantings. His newsletter is a great time.
The stakes start small but gain mass as the story progresses. With a large cast, keeping the characters straight is tough. One downside to splitting the narrative between so many veiwpoints is that I wasn't invested in any one character. While there is an overarching conflict, the many smaller struggles are convoluted to the point of being confusing.
I wasn't thrilled with the ending but I assume a sequel is in the works that'll tidy matters up. Or spread the chaos. Afterall, Hitchhiker's Guide took its time, coming together.
August 2, 2022
Based on the synopsis I was expecting a somewhat linear story of box store wars with characters like 'The Boys'. Nope.
If you like a chaotic story with very short chapters and a broad range of characters this is for you.
In the end this isn't really the style of writing I enjoy so it took me a long time to read a relatively short story. Even so, I could remember the character backgrounds and was drawn to continue reading. The only element I really didn't enjoy was the introduction of new characters late in the story but there were no loose ends, except the one that made me want to read the follow up.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
If you like a chaotic story with very short chapters and a broad range of characters this is for you.
In the end this isn't really the style of writing I enjoy so it took me a long time to read a relatively short story. Even so, I could remember the character backgrounds and was drawn to continue reading. The only element I really didn't enjoy was the introduction of new characters late in the story but there were no loose ends, except the one that made me want to read the follow up.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
January 21, 2023
As always my reviews are always 100% honest and my own opinions. I will try to never fully spoil a plot. This particular copy I was given access to a copy to review as part of a book tour by Henry Roi PR Book Tours. #HenryRoiPR #HenryRoiPRBookTour #MysteriousAisles #BGHilton #BookTour
I can honestly say this book is everything I never knew I needed. From the Character introduction via a good list to the end I was chuckling to full on laughing through out. The humour is just my kind and despite the staff members being anything but ordinary I’m not ashamed to say some of the workplace shenanigans reminded me of real life work but in a good way.
Set in the Australian suburb of South Hertling stands Handy Pavilion, an ordinary big-box hardware store with very extraordinary staff members. One of these is Axel Platzoff, former supervillain. He has taken gainful employment at The Pavilion as part of an amnesty offer from the International Criminal Court after losing battles with Captain Stellar. And all seems fine, for a while.
But the arrival of a rival DIY store, The DIY Barn across the street threatens Axel’s job and the jobs of all his friends. After gaining support to fight back, in the only way Axel knows he comes to learn there is a lot more going on at the Barn than he ever dreamed.
Mysterious Aisles follows Axel and an all star impossible cast of accidentally superheroes, garden gnomes, dryads, ghostly tradies, time-traveling cyborg, ape-men, department managers and baristas in their struggle to keep their jobs and save South Hertling from the incomprehensible forces of evil.
Honestly this is a real gem of a book. It’s funny and zany and the perfect break from how serious life can be. The characters, even the absurd ones, are memorable and fit the story perfectly. Hilton manages to blur urban fantasy and comedy in a way I didn’t even know was possible and if you are a fan of either genre I think you will love this. There is a lot going on and a lot of characters but I personally think Hilton handles the cast perfectly and manages to keep in control of them all!
The plot while fun also has elements of action and adventure and even a bit of sci-fi thrown in for good measure. It is the perfect escape and something I will definitely return to and recommend this to anyone who will listen.
I can honestly say this book is everything I never knew I needed. From the Character introduction via a good list to the end I was chuckling to full on laughing through out. The humour is just my kind and despite the staff members being anything but ordinary I’m not ashamed to say some of the workplace shenanigans reminded me of real life work but in a good way.
Set in the Australian suburb of South Hertling stands Handy Pavilion, an ordinary big-box hardware store with very extraordinary staff members. One of these is Axel Platzoff, former supervillain. He has taken gainful employment at The Pavilion as part of an amnesty offer from the International Criminal Court after losing battles with Captain Stellar. And all seems fine, for a while.
But the arrival of a rival DIY store, The DIY Barn across the street threatens Axel’s job and the jobs of all his friends. After gaining support to fight back, in the only way Axel knows he comes to learn there is a lot more going on at the Barn than he ever dreamed.
Mysterious Aisles follows Axel and an all star impossible cast of accidentally superheroes, garden gnomes, dryads, ghostly tradies, time-traveling cyborg, ape-men, department managers and baristas in their struggle to keep their jobs and save South Hertling from the incomprehensible forces of evil.
Honestly this is a real gem of a book. It’s funny and zany and the perfect break from how serious life can be. The characters, even the absurd ones, are memorable and fit the story perfectly. Hilton manages to blur urban fantasy and comedy in a way I didn’t even know was possible and if you are a fan of either genre I think you will love this. There is a lot going on and a lot of characters but I personally think Hilton handles the cast perfectly and manages to keep in control of them all!
The plot while fun also has elements of action and adventure and even a bit of sci-fi thrown in for good measure. It is the perfect escape and something I will definitely return to and recommend this to anyone who will listen.
December 4, 2022
[steps up to lectern, clears throat, adjusts lengthy lecture notes, begins]
Literature, like science, has rules. It…
[pauses, hears vague rumbling, ignores, continues]
It is incumbent upon those who seek to write fiction to learn and understand those rules. Just as scientists must…
[rumbling grows in volume]
…just as scientists must have a grasp on the structures and limits of our knowledge of the universe, so must writers aspire to understand the literary…
[lectern starts trembling, noise louder]
…the literary canon, and in this way communicate both their narrative and their…
[holds onto trembling lectern and shaking notes, raises voice]
…and their themes. For it is the themes which…
[almost shouting]
…the themes which carry the heart of the story, which is always a great question. And in the case of Mysterious Aisles that question is…
[now bellowing]
…what the actual f*** is going on here?!
[thirty+ characters from Mysterious Aisles crash through the lecture theatre doors, sending students and staff flying. The characters, some brightly dressed in superhero and supervillain outfits, some in shop uniform, some in neat casual, are fighting, shouting, firing weapons, practicing WWF moves, as they charge up the aisle to the front, swarming over the stage, knocking the lecturer and lectern flat, smashing through the wall behind, and back outside into the courtyard. As the noise and dust begin to settle, the lecturer manages to stand amidst the rubble, gives up on the splintered remains of the lectern and trampled lecture notes, continues]
And so, when rules are abandoned, and then trampled with the glee of a four-year old on an exclusive diet of sugar and red food colouring, one is left either to question the author’s intent, or one’s own regard for the canon, or simply stuff one’s face with Sour Snakes, washed down with Red Bull, and enjoy the ride. As daft, as silly, as bizarre and as utterly disinterested in literary convention as Mysterious Aisles is, I chose to enjoy the ride. Thank you.
Literature, like science, has rules. It…
[pauses, hears vague rumbling, ignores, continues]
It is incumbent upon those who seek to write fiction to learn and understand those rules. Just as scientists must…
[rumbling grows in volume]
…just as scientists must have a grasp on the structures and limits of our knowledge of the universe, so must writers aspire to understand the literary…
[lectern starts trembling, noise louder]
…the literary canon, and in this way communicate both their narrative and their…
[holds onto trembling lectern and shaking notes, raises voice]
…and their themes. For it is the themes which…
[almost shouting]
…the themes which carry the heart of the story, which is always a great question. And in the case of Mysterious Aisles that question is…
[now bellowing]
…what the actual f*** is going on here?!
[thirty+ characters from Mysterious Aisles crash through the lecture theatre doors, sending students and staff flying. The characters, some brightly dressed in superhero and supervillain outfits, some in shop uniform, some in neat casual, are fighting, shouting, firing weapons, practicing WWF moves, as they charge up the aisle to the front, swarming over the stage, knocking the lecturer and lectern flat, smashing through the wall behind, and back outside into the courtyard. As the noise and dust begin to settle, the lecturer manages to stand amidst the rubble, gives up on the splintered remains of the lectern and trampled lecture notes, continues]
And so, when rules are abandoned, and then trampled with the glee of a four-year old on an exclusive diet of sugar and red food colouring, one is left either to question the author’s intent, or one’s own regard for the canon, or simply stuff one’s face with Sour Snakes, washed down with Red Bull, and enjoy the ride. As daft, as silly, as bizarre and as utterly disinterested in literary convention as Mysterious Aisles is, I chose to enjoy the ride. Thank you.
January 22, 2023
*rounded up from 3.5 stars*
This was delightful! Satire, chaos and just about every fictional type of character mixed up and planted in a home improvement store. Superheroes? Villains? Reformed villains? Cyborg from the future? A man raised by chimpanzees? These are only just a couple of characters. There are a ton of characters and a ton of little interconnecting plot lines, and it is pretty much guaranteed that you will get confused. Because some things aren’t written to make sense.
Axel is working at a home improvement store in Australia. It’s part of his parole that he works there. Just because he tried to take over the world a time or twenty, is it really worth that? A competing home improvement store opens across the way. Business starts going down, but they don’t seem to be satisfied with that. They literally want his store destroyed. And if they want a fight? He will give them one!
This was delightful! Satire, chaos and just about every fictional type of character mixed up and planted in a home improvement store. Superheroes? Villains? Reformed villains? Cyborg from the future? A man raised by chimpanzees? These are only just a couple of characters. There are a ton of characters and a ton of little interconnecting plot lines, and it is pretty much guaranteed that you will get confused. Because some things aren’t written to make sense.
Axel is working at a home improvement store in Australia. It’s part of his parole that he works there. Just because he tried to take over the world a time or twenty, is it really worth that? A competing home improvement store opens across the way. Business starts going down, but they don’t seem to be satisfied with that. They literally want his store destroyed. And if they want a fight? He will give them one!
January 13, 2023
The chaotic plot suited the story and its characters, but it was a challenge to keep track of it all. Between the love stories, revenge attacks, mystery characters, and time travel, I held it together by stepping away for a bit to process the many twisted plot branches.
The book is a rollercoaster of action, wit, and humor. It reminded me of the Terry Pratchett series which I loved. The glue that carries this novel is the humor and the sarcastic innuendos.
I enjoy books that take me away and Mysterious Aisles did that. However, you have to be all in with this one to understand the complexities of each character. Some more than others. You must dial into the quick wit to keep up.
I think the author did a great job of humanizing each character, even the cyborgs, and ghosts. There were no vanilla characters, which was refreshing.
In the end there was real fighting and real loss, mixed into a whirlwind of relationships from a cyborg and a scientist to a contentious father and son combo. Read slowly, re-read pages and relax into it. You’ll get a giggle out of it every time.
The book is a rollercoaster of action, wit, and humor. It reminded me of the Terry Pratchett series which I loved. The glue that carries this novel is the humor and the sarcastic innuendos.
I enjoy books that take me away and Mysterious Aisles did that. However, you have to be all in with this one to understand the complexities of each character. Some more than others. You must dial into the quick wit to keep up.
I think the author did a great job of humanizing each character, even the cyborgs, and ghosts. There were no vanilla characters, which was refreshing.
In the end there was real fighting and real loss, mixed into a whirlwind of relationships from a cyborg and a scientist to a contentious father and son combo. Read slowly, re-read pages and relax into it. You’ll get a giggle out of it every time.
January 21, 2023
This book took me on a wild and crazy ride!
In a world with Superheros and Supervillains, a small store called the Handy Pavillion is at war with the DIY Barn, and I mean that quite literally.
Everything is pretty all over the place, but it works for this book and the characters. The characters of which there are sooo many, are weird and quirky and at times so funny. I didn't expect to get invested in most of the characters but I did. One of my favorites is Axel and in particular, one of my favorite things is when he decides he needs a hobby and just starts making any and every kind of craft he can think of and just puts them everywhere throughout the store.
We get a pretty great ending that's action-packed and just as crazy as the rest of the book. If there is more to come in this series I would definitely check them out.
In a world with Superheros and Supervillains, a small store called the Handy Pavillion is at war with the DIY Barn, and I mean that quite literally.
Everything is pretty all over the place, but it works for this book and the characters. The characters of which there are sooo many, are weird and quirky and at times so funny. I didn't expect to get invested in most of the characters but I did. One of my favorites is Axel and in particular, one of my favorite things is when he decides he needs a hobby and just starts making any and every kind of craft he can think of and just puts them everywhere throughout the store.
We get a pretty great ending that's action-packed and just as crazy as the rest of the book. If there is more to come in this series I would definitely check them out.
January 20, 2023
Zorbar read. What do you get when you mix cowboys, conspiracy theory, Manichaen twins, and the son of Zeus with superheroes, supervillains, a cyborg, and a haunted cement truck? A great, nonsensical, funny read! I was laughing from the character list straight to the end. This book is a breath of fresh air. One I may revisit when I need a break from all things serious.
January 23, 2023
A good,fun read!
November 17, 2022
“Mysterious Aisles” (The South Hertling Chronicles #1) by B.G. Hilton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2. Genre: Urban Fantasy. Location: South Hertling, Australia. Time: 2016 -2017.
THE SERIES: B.G Hilton writes a snarky, free-wheeling romp of a series set in a shopping center. Main character Axel Platzoff (former supervillain) and friends (dryads, superheroes, garden gnomes, ghosts, cyborgs, apemen, dept. managers, etc.) try to keep their jobs and save South Hertling from the forces of evil.
THIS BOOK: Axel Platzoff, formerly Professor Devistato-supervillain, is tired of losing battles to Captain Stellar-superhero. He takes an amnesty offer from the International Criminal Court, and goes to work at Handy Pavillion big box hardware store. He soon finds the Pavilion has some very unusual employees. Author Hilton creates a wide range of weirdly lovable characters. My favorites are Gwen, who can hear the timber (lumber) sing, and Nalda, a killer cyborg who teaches children’s arts & crafts.
Rival big box store DIY Barn moves in across the street, putting Handy Pavilion employees’ jobs at risk. When Axel and friends fight back, they discover there is more to the sinister Barn than they realized- there’s a whole Phantom of the Opera thing going on. If you’re not Australian, be prepared to look up local slang like dob, tradies, khazi, and shirtfront. (When someone got hit by a Ute, I thought maybe it was their word for an Uber🤣 Nope. Ute=a car with a truck-like cargo bed.)
Chapters move swiftly ahead in time, but unfortunately chapter headings don’t indicate time. A shopping center map would also be helpful. Chapters are pleasingly short, but overall the book is too long for its genre/type. It’s not that there are too many pages-it’s that there are too many odd characters and crazy events for one book. It could easily be book 1 and book 2 of the series.
If you like absurd adventures filled with witty weirdness and extradimensional excitement, suspend your personal interpretation of reality and read this book. It’s 3.5 stars rounded up to 4 stars from me🌵📚💁🏼♀️ Thank you to BookSirens and B.G. Hilton for this ebook.
THE SERIES: B.G Hilton writes a snarky, free-wheeling romp of a series set in a shopping center. Main character Axel Platzoff (former supervillain) and friends (dryads, superheroes, garden gnomes, ghosts, cyborgs, apemen, dept. managers, etc.) try to keep their jobs and save South Hertling from the forces of evil.
THIS BOOK: Axel Platzoff, formerly Professor Devistato-supervillain, is tired of losing battles to Captain Stellar-superhero. He takes an amnesty offer from the International Criminal Court, and goes to work at Handy Pavillion big box hardware store. He soon finds the Pavilion has some very unusual employees. Author Hilton creates a wide range of weirdly lovable characters. My favorites are Gwen, who can hear the timber (lumber) sing, and Nalda, a killer cyborg who teaches children’s arts & crafts.
Rival big box store DIY Barn moves in across the street, putting Handy Pavilion employees’ jobs at risk. When Axel and friends fight back, they discover there is more to the sinister Barn than they realized- there’s a whole Phantom of the Opera thing going on. If you’re not Australian, be prepared to look up local slang like dob, tradies, khazi, and shirtfront. (When someone got hit by a Ute, I thought maybe it was their word for an Uber🤣 Nope. Ute=a car with a truck-like cargo bed.)
Chapters move swiftly ahead in time, but unfortunately chapter headings don’t indicate time. A shopping center map would also be helpful. Chapters are pleasingly short, but overall the book is too long for its genre/type. It’s not that there are too many pages-it’s that there are too many odd characters and crazy events for one book. It could easily be book 1 and book 2 of the series.
If you like absurd adventures filled with witty weirdness and extradimensional excitement, suspend your personal interpretation of reality and read this book. It’s 3.5 stars rounded up to 4 stars from me🌵📚💁🏼♀️ Thank you to BookSirens and B.G. Hilton for this ebook.
July 20, 2022
This book had me all over the place: at times riveted by the original plot lines while simultaneously bonkers trying to follow all the characters and their plot lines! It was a lot! I would have liked to j have seen the list of characters at the front rather than the back of the book. It actually might have helped me (the list itself was also very funny).
Fans of Terry Pratchett and/or Douglas Adams might enjoy this weird romp. I found it quite undefinable: part SciFi, part fantasy (a garden gnome comes to life at night), part, uh … Honestly I give up. There are time travelers, ghosts, super heroes, a cyborg, a man raised by apes, Greek gods, villains, and all in the setting of feuding DIY home stores. Ya, it's a lot, but also a lot of fun! I genuinely enjoyed most of the silliness but loved and appreciated the undertones of inclusivity & LGBTQ+ representation in the characters.
At times this story was too EXTRA for me but in the end, it was time I didn't regret spending on a really weird, original, and fun book.
DISCLAIMER
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Fans of Terry Pratchett and/or Douglas Adams might enjoy this weird romp. I found it quite undefinable: part SciFi, part fantasy (a garden gnome comes to life at night), part, uh … Honestly I give up. There are time travelers, ghosts, super heroes, a cyborg, a man raised by apes, Greek gods, villains, and all in the setting of feuding DIY home stores. Ya, it's a lot, but also a lot of fun! I genuinely enjoyed most of the silliness but loved and appreciated the undertones of inclusivity & LGBTQ+ representation in the characters.
At times this story was too EXTRA for me but in the end, it was time I didn't regret spending on a really weird, original, and fun book.
DISCLAIMER
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
November 14, 2022
3.5 stars!
Take The Incredibles add in some fantasy characters (gnomes, ape-man etc), set it to the plot of Good Burger but give them power tools and make it adult.
When I read the premise of this ARC on booksirens , I knew I had to give it a go.
This book is quirky and quick. The writing is wildly weaved but in a way that made it easy to read a (short) chapter and come back to it later. At first it felt a bit chaotic but I believe that is what adds to some of the charm of this book. There is a large cast of characters to keep up with but for the most part this isn’t a problem because this book mostly focuses more on the escapades rather than deepening character development.
I’m not sure I’ve read anything quite this chaotic before. The plot line does not feel linear and each character seems to have its on plot even as they interacts with each other. This some time hindered my drive to press on in the story because I wanted to “get to the (main) point”. I did manage to stay intrigued enough because of the lightness and humor.
This book is a shmorgishborg. You’ve got heroes/villians, cyborgs, ghost, cowboys and even some plumbing siblings colliding with mystical elements. You’ve got numerous seemingly mundane, albeit funny, issues with an overall chaotic arc.
Take The Incredibles add in some fantasy characters (gnomes, ape-man etc), set it to the plot of Good Burger but give them power tools and make it adult.
When I read the premise of this ARC on booksirens , I knew I had to give it a go.
This book is quirky and quick. The writing is wildly weaved but in a way that made it easy to read a (short) chapter and come back to it later. At first it felt a bit chaotic but I believe that is what adds to some of the charm of this book. There is a large cast of characters to keep up with but for the most part this isn’t a problem because this book mostly focuses more on the escapades rather than deepening character development.
I’m not sure I’ve read anything quite this chaotic before. The plot line does not feel linear and each character seems to have its on plot even as they interacts with each other. This some time hindered my drive to press on in the story because I wanted to “get to the (main) point”. I did manage to stay intrigued enough because of the lightness and humor.
This book is a shmorgishborg. You’ve got heroes/villians, cyborgs, ghost, cowboys and even some plumbing siblings colliding with mystical elements. You’ve got numerous seemingly mundane, albeit funny, issues with an overall chaotic arc.
August 9, 2022
I received an ARC of this book for an honest review.
The book is set in a large DIY store called the Handy pavilion, unfortunately another DIY store opens in the same retail park, causing the handy pavilion to lose custom.
The Handy pavilion has a staff consisting of various superheroes, ghosts, ape men, werewolves and other assorted strange beings from dryads to a son of the god Zeus. The other store has various wizards, demons and beings from a parallel universe.
The staff from the Handy Pavilion decide to ‘take on’ the other store to try and get it to close, this results eventually in a war between the stores.
This is a very strange book, often funny but often just very very odd, it’s also far too long.
I actually cared about the characters in the book, of which to be frank there are far too many. The list of characters would be much better at the beginning of the book rather than the end as I for one frequently became confused as there are multiple viewpoints and as there were people from parallel universes, people from the past and from the future plus all sorts of strange creatures from robots, cyborgs, dryads to a ghost who inhabits a robot which can turn into a cement truck to a tiny gnome who comes alive at the full moon and a character who inhabits a pocket universe.
I did enjoy the book, there are lots of jokes, but it really is far far too long, also the ending is odd in the extreme so clearly a sequel is planned.
The book is set in a large DIY store called the Handy pavilion, unfortunately another DIY store opens in the same retail park, causing the handy pavilion to lose custom.
The Handy pavilion has a staff consisting of various superheroes, ghosts, ape men, werewolves and other assorted strange beings from dryads to a son of the god Zeus. The other store has various wizards, demons and beings from a parallel universe.
The staff from the Handy Pavilion decide to ‘take on’ the other store to try and get it to close, this results eventually in a war between the stores.
This is a very strange book, often funny but often just very very odd, it’s also far too long.
I actually cared about the characters in the book, of which to be frank there are far too many. The list of characters would be much better at the beginning of the book rather than the end as I for one frequently became confused as there are multiple viewpoints and as there were people from parallel universes, people from the past and from the future plus all sorts of strange creatures from robots, cyborgs, dryads to a ghost who inhabits a robot which can turn into a cement truck to a tiny gnome who comes alive at the full moon and a character who inhabits a pocket universe.
I did enjoy the book, there are lots of jokes, but it really is far far too long, also the ending is odd in the extreme so clearly a sequel is planned.
August 28, 2022
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
There was a lot of fun in this. The cast of characters is pretty wacky and there are some fun exchanges. While it leans heavily on quite a number of tropes, as a story it’s very self-aware and ramps up the camp rather than getting too caught up in taking itself seriously.
With that said, it was a very ambitious story. There were a lot of characters, each with their own subplots, which felt a little frenetic. While most of these subplots were resolved, others weren’t and I reached the end of the story wondering what conclusion I was meant to have reached.
There’s some cracking dialogue and descriptions in here, but it felt unfocused. With that said, I would definitely read more of BH Hilton’s work in the future, as there’s a lot of promise.
There was a lot of fun in this. The cast of characters is pretty wacky and there are some fun exchanges. While it leans heavily on quite a number of tropes, as a story it’s very self-aware and ramps up the camp rather than getting too caught up in taking itself seriously.
With that said, it was a very ambitious story. There were a lot of characters, each with their own subplots, which felt a little frenetic. While most of these subplots were resolved, others weren’t and I reached the end of the story wondering what conclusion I was meant to have reached.
There’s some cracking dialogue and descriptions in here, but it felt unfocused. With that said, I would definitely read more of BH Hilton’s work in the future, as there’s a lot of promise.
October 13, 2022
Three words immediately come to mind when closing the last page on BG Hilton’s Mysterious Aisles. Chaotic, cluttered, and creative. Overflowing with multiple characters and plotlines the reader must be truly invested to persist until the end.
Looking at it from a physics perspective will make it clearer. Think Dr Who and his quote ‘Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey’ and that helps immensely. There is nothing in Hilton’s book that isn’t ‘Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey’. The only thing that is recognisable is the setting of the Supercentre and Handy Pavilion.
Many cities have supercentre hubs where everything for the home is offered in a variety of outlets. There is no doubt, however, that the crowning jewel in any of these centres is the big box hardware store. Hilton has provided a plethora of characters to staff the Handy Pavilion Hardware, some with two personas. Keeping up with them all may not be a problem for some readers, but there is a character list at the back of the novel if you’re struggling. When exploring the characters, there is an absurdity about them that makes for humour between Monty Python and Little Britain.
If this wasn’t enough, try coming to grips with the overabundance of plot lines for the many characters involved in the story. It seemed there were plots within plots, within plots. Fortunately, all of these did relate to the overarching goal of removing the new player in the supercentre, the DIY Barn. It was a tragedy of errors for all involved at the Handy Pavilion.
The saying of ‘couldn’t organise a bun fight in a bakery’ comes to mind. Eventually, the fractured plots all came together into one major plot line. This was very satisfying considering the many times I muttered “doing my head in”, but I’m glad I persisted. I really wanted to see what happened at the end.
If you like a range of characters including ghosts, cyborgs, superheroes, gnomes, monkey men, Gods, empowered women, and masculine cowboys this is a book for you. I do love a good hardware with a snag on bread, however, when I get to the garden section now, I will be giving every gnome a serious side eye. I have three at home on my front porch and all have been chained to the railing since reading Mysterious Aisles.
Hilton has left Mysterious Aisles hanging indicating a second book is coming. Until that time the chains stay on my garden gnomes, and they are under strict surveillance from the cockatoo.
Looking at it from a physics perspective will make it clearer. Think Dr Who and his quote ‘Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey’ and that helps immensely. There is nothing in Hilton’s book that isn’t ‘Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey’. The only thing that is recognisable is the setting of the Supercentre and Handy Pavilion.
Many cities have supercentre hubs where everything for the home is offered in a variety of outlets. There is no doubt, however, that the crowning jewel in any of these centres is the big box hardware store. Hilton has provided a plethora of characters to staff the Handy Pavilion Hardware, some with two personas. Keeping up with them all may not be a problem for some readers, but there is a character list at the back of the novel if you’re struggling. When exploring the characters, there is an absurdity about them that makes for humour between Monty Python and Little Britain.
If this wasn’t enough, try coming to grips with the overabundance of plot lines for the many characters involved in the story. It seemed there were plots within plots, within plots. Fortunately, all of these did relate to the overarching goal of removing the new player in the supercentre, the DIY Barn. It was a tragedy of errors for all involved at the Handy Pavilion.
The saying of ‘couldn’t organise a bun fight in a bakery’ comes to mind. Eventually, the fractured plots all came together into one major plot line. This was very satisfying considering the many times I muttered “doing my head in”, but I’m glad I persisted. I really wanted to see what happened at the end.
If you like a range of characters including ghosts, cyborgs, superheroes, gnomes, monkey men, Gods, empowered women, and masculine cowboys this is a book for you. I do love a good hardware with a snag on bread, however, when I get to the garden section now, I will be giving every gnome a serious side eye. I have three at home on my front porch and all have been chained to the railing since reading Mysterious Aisles.
Hilton has left Mysterious Aisles hanging indicating a second book is coming. Until that time the chains stay on my garden gnomes, and they are under strict surveillance from the cockatoo.
May 16, 2023
* I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. Thank you to B.G. Hilton and Booksirens.
This is a weird and funny story of two home improvement stores in a battle for more than customers. There are a TON of pop culture references scattered throughout, almost all of which made me chuckle. The premise was great and there are definitely entertaining moments.
For the cons: I expected more world building and character building. For the first 1/4 of the book I thought I picked up a second or third part of a series. There are way too many characters and subplots and I eventually gave up on keeping track of them. For me this would make a fun show, but in written format it was overwhelming.
I would definitely pick up another of this author’s books. I just didn’t love it as much as I hoped.
This is a weird and funny story of two home improvement stores in a battle for more than customers. There are a TON of pop culture references scattered throughout, almost all of which made me chuckle. The premise was great and there are definitely entertaining moments.
For the cons: I expected more world building and character building. For the first 1/4 of the book I thought I picked up a second or third part of a series. There are way too many characters and subplots and I eventually gave up on keeping track of them. For me this would make a fun show, but in written format it was overwhelming.
I would definitely pick up another of this author’s books. I just didn’t love it as much as I hoped.
November 10, 2022
Imagine Home Depot & Lowes employees locked in a life or death struggle for retail dominance in an otherworld Australia inhabited by super-powered heroes and villains, interplanetary invaders, time-traveling robots, Tarzan, Autobots, cowboys, ghostly possession and Austin Powers like antics and you’re getting somewhere close to the mayhem that is Mysterious Aisles.
It’s less a novel and more 72 loosely related shorts meandering thru an insane multiverse towards some unfathomable conclusion. Best enjoyed in short gulps of 5 or so chapters at a time. Interesting . . .
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
It’s less a novel and more 72 loosely related shorts meandering thru an insane multiverse towards some unfathomable conclusion. Best enjoyed in short gulps of 5 or so chapters at a time. Interesting . . .
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
January 23, 2023
This book was hilarious. The Characters were zany and ridiculous in the best possible way. The premise of a corporate rivalry dissolving into an outright war was genius. Not to mention the pending interdimensional-temporal catastrophe. I was hooked right from the get go. The second I realized that Axel, was not only a board employee…but also an ex-supervillain I was like, “alright, this is going to be interesting.” Before I knew it I was sucked into the drama that was the the lives of unusual employees at the Handy Pavilion.
August 12, 2022
I feel a bit sorry for the 2 stars. After all, Hilton can write. He creates interesting, even far out, characters. And he’s funny in a laid back droll kinda way. I liked all this. But. I could not discern any clear plot trajectory. Lots of amusing conversations that didn’t seem to go anywhere plot-wise. I got tired of waiting about 30% done.
Read
November 17, 2022I giggled my whole way through this book. What fun! A Villain who is *trying* to behave, more fantasy creatures than a daydream, a real-life villain who is threatening a way of life, mistakes and miracles. It has everything you could desire.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
November 25, 2022
I received a ARC free from Book Sirens and this is my voluntary honest review. I wanted to give this 3 1/2 stars. It wasn't quite ready for 4 stars!
Strange, off the wall!
Mean characters!
Contained unnecessary cuss words!
Crazy!
Quirky!
Wierd!
Amazing, interesting cover!
Strange, off the wall!
Mean characters!
Contained unnecessary cuss words!
Crazy!
Quirky!
Wierd!
Amazing, interesting cover!
January 30, 2023
Super funny! I had so much fun with this one. Super authentic. The cast of characters, in the beginning, is hilarious. A lot of things happening, and many characters. Fast-paced and fun all the time!
January 21, 2023
I gave this book a rating of 4 stars. The character development for each character was very stunning, you can find a character or multiple characters to relate to. However, the plot of the story breaks down multiple characters backgrounds and stories and is very creatively written but it was hard to keep up with the story sometimes with the way things jumped around. I recommend everyone gives this book a chance because once you get to the end you’ll understand how everything comes together.
June 4, 2023
Title: Mysterious Aisles
Author: BG Hilton
Release Date: November 16th, 2022
Page Count: 442
Format: Ebook
Start Date: January 5th, 2023
Finish Date: January 19th, 2023
Rating: 4 Stars
Review:
Story: This was a really quirky book. I found myself laughing many times. I have to be honest, I kind of wish that I had some talent in the narration department. I'd totally volunteer to narrate this novel. It's showcases the dreads of working retail with a supernatural twist. I'd love to see this book be turned into a cartoon. Probably one more geared to teens and adults, but still. I'd watch every episode.
Characters: There were too many of them to keep up with names. I really enjoyed all of them. They were all strange and very quirky.
Critiques: None
Final Thoughts: I'm not sure if this is going to be a series or not. I want to say it is, but I just can't be sure. If it is, I will definitely be grabbing the rest of the series. I'll probably reread this a few times. Especially when I'm feeling down and need a good laugh. There are some potentially offensive jokes displayed in the book. I wouldn't recommend it for anybody who are more sensitive to jokes.
Author: BG Hilton
Release Date: November 16th, 2022
Page Count: 442
Format: Ebook
Start Date: January 5th, 2023
Finish Date: January 19th, 2023
Rating: 4 Stars
Review:
Story: This was a really quirky book. I found myself laughing many times. I have to be honest, I kind of wish that I had some talent in the narration department. I'd totally volunteer to narrate this novel. It's showcases the dreads of working retail with a supernatural twist. I'd love to see this book be turned into a cartoon. Probably one more geared to teens and adults, but still. I'd watch every episode.
Characters: There were too many of them to keep up with names. I really enjoyed all of them. They were all strange and very quirky.
Critiques: None
Final Thoughts: I'm not sure if this is going to be a series or not. I want to say it is, but I just can't be sure. If it is, I will definitely be grabbing the rest of the series. I'll probably reread this a few times. Especially when I'm feeling down and need a good laugh. There are some potentially offensive jokes displayed in the book. I wouldn't recommend it for anybody who are more sensitive to jokes.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews