Becoming a Family that Heals: How to Resolve Past Issues and Free Your Future

by Tom Rodgers, Tom Rodgers

Many individuals enter marriage with deep soul wounds from their families of origin. Having little or no skill in conflict resolution, communication, and problem-solving, these couples then wound each other, and eventually, their children. This marital and family conflict leaves individual family members feeling alone and isolated, which can lead to divorce. These patterns are then repeated down through the generations. Working with countless families in their counseling practice over the years, the authors developed a model of relationships that has been used successfully to heal individual and family brokenness. They call this the Soul Healing Love model of relationships, and they've taught the concepts to ministers, counselors, marriage mentors, and lay leaders around the world. They now want to share these principles with as many families as possible.

176 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2009

Reviews

[Will · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. The target audience is a bit narrow... ideally, married couples with children who are familiar with Christianity or Christians themselves. But, the healing concepts can apply to all relationships. Great concepts for inner healing and identifying how our wounds affect our current relationships. The “soul-wound love” healing exercises are very accessible and I ended up writing a lot of them in one of my journals for future reference.

Quick read and great to prayerfully go through with a spouse.

[Jane Maritz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Drs. Beverly and Tom Rodgers walk through the steps for family members with old wounds to meld into a family that heals. In addition to illustrations and examples, even personal testimonies, they follow the Smith family from the beginning to end of this process, allowing readers to relate more easily to the steps and process.

To be honest, this has been a hard book to read, and even harder to review. Not because of the writing style, but because of the subject...

I think I had a pretty good childhood. All five of us kids have turned out okay. I find it somewhat annoying when people start blaming all of their problems on their parents and their upbringing. My parents are even sacred cows, so to speak - don't even think of disrespecting them. No glaring wounds to speak of.

Yet this book walks me through the process of realizing that I did indeed develop coping mechanisms to deal with certain of my parents' characteristics. And while I don't see myself as wounded, those coping mechanisms certainly play a role in how I react and deal with things in my own marriage - mostly in a negative way.

I know I personally have a long way to go in applying the steps in this book. I still feel like "wounds" is a rather strong word. But I do know that my marriage can use some help, and I'd certainly recommend this book for others in the same boat.

[Karen Roche Ragland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book, I thought much of the issues raised were important for individuals who enjoy the self-help books and for those who have been married a short time.