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By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead

3.87  ·  Rating details ·  21,820 ratings  ·  1,950 reviews
Daelyn Rice is broken beyond repair, and after a string of botched suicide attempts, she’s determined to get her death right. She starts visiting a website for “completers”— www.

While she’s on the site, Daelyn blogs about her life, uncovering a history of bullying that goes back to kindergarten. When she’s not on the Web, Daelyn’s at her private scho
Hardcover, 200 pages
Published January 5th 2010 by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers (first published April 1st 2009)
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Average rating 3.87  · 
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 ·  21,820 ratings  ·  1,950 reviews

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this is the second part of a conversation about this book!! i got caris' sloppy seconds! to read the first part, please click here!

Caris: Maybe it was just your personality. Perhaps you're just not the type of dude who gets bullied. You know, badassery and whatnot.

I certainly cave on this point. The book was unbelievable. Both the website and Santana were only there to keep the girl from killing herself. Of course, all books do this. It seems that the bar is just set lower for teen ficti
Steph Su
Aug 15, 2009 rated it it was amazing
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I’LL BE DEAD tore my insides raw. As I read, I screamed. I cried. I threw the book across the room. I apologized and cradled it delicately in my hands. I also chuckled and fell in love with the characters, flawed as they all are. Julie Anne Peters is nearly unmatched when it comes to writing about difficult, taboo, controversial, and absolutely necessary subjects, and her latest book is a terrifying masterpiece that deserves to find its way into everyone’s hands.

Liberty Abbott-Sylvester
Feb 01, 2010 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: all parents
Teen suicide. Not an easy subject to think or talk about. This book tells the story of Daelyn. She's 15 and determined to die this time. Yes, you read correctly...she's tried to kill herself before and failed. This time she knows it will work. A victim of bullies, she can't face life anymore. She thinks everyone will be happier without her. One day after school she meets Santana and things start to look a little different, but is it too late?

As a mother of a child who was bullied and talked abou
Samantha Elizabeth
Aug 19, 2012 rated it really liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Mar 01, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kindle
This book ticked me off more than any I've read since My Sister's Keeper. Just like Picoult's book, this novel slapped me in the face at the end and negated whatever positive experience I might have gained from it.

By the Time You Read This ... could have been a good book. It was fast-moving and compulsively readable. Then I got to the end and literally said out loud, "What the hell?" Without giving too much away, I'll say this: Cliffhangers can be effective literary devices when done well. Menta
Mar 07, 2011 rated it really liked it
Daelyn has been demeaned, bullied, tortured and almost raped through her years in school. For some reason, the teachers and principals always believe the other students, making her feel further bullied. Daelyn was overweight most of her life and that was the main fodder for the bullies, but not all. She tried to make her parents listen, but they just passed it off as kids being kids. Her mom went on diets with her saying it would be "fun" and her father would sneak food to her at night. She was ...more
Sep 19, 2015 rated it did not like it

[bought at the book fair (mibf2015)]

(view spoiler)
Libro Joven
Nov 10, 2009 rated it really liked it
This book was hard, but at the same time it was so enthralling. Reading so openly about bullying and a parasuicidal kid made my stomach into a knot, but I couldn't keep my eyes off the book until I was finished with it. It is short, but at the same time, it feels so long. Not because it's boring, but because the topics it talked about felt so... important, maybe? I'm not sure what's the right word for it. I'm not sure there's a right word for it.

If you enjoyed "Willow", by Julia Hoban, this is d
Dec 15, 2010 rated it really liked it
I thought that it was a good book to show how drasticly people react to things like being called names and being made fun of. I feel like the people in this book actually exist. Although I really liked this book, there was a reason for me giving it four stars. She gave up. She was a hard character to get at the beginning because I haven't had to deal with characters before, but by the end of the book I viewed her as a heroine and... she died. She. Just. Gave. Up. I really liked her character and ...more
Charley Cook
Jan 24, 2014 rated it really liked it
Check out my video review here:
Thea Villa
Jun 07, 2013 rated it really liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jul 22, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Kate by: Tammy
Shelves: realistic, age-ya, 2009, arcs
My friend Tammy dropped this off at the library for me to read, and one day as I was waiting for the virus scan to run on my work computer, I started reading. I only got 12 pages in and I told myself I would continue the next day at lunch. By the next day, Lexi (the intern who shares my desk) had also started reading it while virus scans were running. She took it home and finished it that night. I had other things to read, but the whole time I was wondering and worrying about the girl in the sto ...more
Mar 20, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2017, in-german
Jul 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This one really got me. I cried from the first to the last page.
Feb 17, 2014 rated it did not like it
Shelves: young-adult
Sometimes after wasting my time with a truly horrible book, I enjoy reading 1 star reviews for it on goodreads. So I was going over the reviews for this book and all I saw were positive ratings. In this situation I feel like you guys are wrong and so I needed to put up a review to set the record straight. It's probably the fault of all these 4 and 5 star reviews that I suffered through reading this book in the first place.

This book is just so bad. Poor writing, abysmal character development, di
Sab H.  (YA Bliss)
Whoa!! I was not expecting this, specially in such a short read. This is probably the most torn I've been since I finished Ballads of Suburbia. This book is so harsh. And raw. And wrong. And cruel. And depressing. And sick. Oh, and I loved, loved, loved it. Even though my stomach sometimes didn't. I had physical ache while reading, that's how amazing it was. Seriously, I believe every person alive should read it. If you dare to read something so heart-wrenching that will most likely stick with y ...more
Jaime Arkin
May 02, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: ya, stand-alone-books
this book instantly intrigued me when i saw the title and description. it a tough read ... heavy and sometimes hard to stomach but completely worth it.

daelyn is hard to grasp as a character i felt sorry for her but i was also mad. she was giving up and i wanted her to fight for her life and happiness. her relationship with her parents made me want to pull my hair out... but i had hope towards the end but then .... no resolution. i imagine im supposed to determine in my own mind what really happ
Sep 18, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
Another heartbreaking story I have read. This story made me feel how its like to live in a world of people who get bullied most of their lives.

I know life is unfair, but we need to stand up and fight. And "do not let the pain ate you", just like what it did to Daelyn Rice.

So be PROUD! And smile! ^_^
Sep 12, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019-haul
This is a super short book but the author has more detailed characters than characters in a 8 book series.
I really recommend this to anyone and everyone
Jan 24, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya
I read this because it fit for a challenge as I normally wouldn't choose to read about bullying and suicide. I got hit over the head when we find out Santana (view spoiler). There are a lot of negative reviews regarding the ending. I found it fitting. It wasn't all wrapped up with a nice bow, but I read it as a new start for all the ...more
Hussein Baher
I'd rather keep this without a rating.

A story that tackles 4 mains issues:
body image (being plus-sized)
Mental health

A book that will appeal to so much people more than it did to me.
The writing was annoying throughout the first half of the book but it got better.
As for the open ending it's a hate/love situation, idk where to stand with it.
Sep 20, 2014 rated it did not like it
I don't even know where to begin with this book. I gave it one star, and I have no idea why anyone would give it anything more. I decided to give it a try only because it had such good reviews, and I felt this book was a total waste of time. It took all the energy in my body to finish it because it was so bad. I only finished it so I could feel justified in giving it 1 star, I didn't want to rate it so poorly & it turn out that it gets better. But no, I was right. The book is terrible and stayed ...more
Apr 05, 2011 rated it it was amazing
While the book is quite disturbing, it’s an eye-opener at the same time. It gyrates on the woeful life of Daelyn Rice who at a very young age got bullied inexorably. Due to a failed suicide attempt, she became incapacitated to speak. The stigmas poisoned her: the way she reasons out seems irrational sometimes. The way she treats people seems like a simulacrum that she’s a bully herself. At least, that’s what I think.

While reading the book, I felt like I bought myself a manual in committing suici
Jan 19, 2019 rated it did not like it
This post may contain spoilers. Also, content note for suicide, bc it's impossible to talk about this book without discussing that (as a major theme of the plot).

I try not to hate on books mercilessly if I can help it. That being said: this time I think it's warranted.

This book isn't just a bad book, I think it's genuinely dangerous. It gives some quite graphic descriptions of ways to end one's life, with 'ratings' for things like pain and 'effectiveness'. I'm not going to make a judgement on su
Jan 10, 2011 rated it liked it
I just finished and closed this book.

Typically I would wait to do my review on a book like this. I would sit with it for a few days, but I read this book for a challenge so I'm going to go ahead and write it up. I may change it again later.

I struggle with books like these. I'm glad that they are out there - books that deal with REAL issues that kids are having. Not bad hair days, but bad YEARS. days and days and days where they drag on and...when a person reaches a point where they don't feel th
Mar 25, 2011 rated it liked it
Sometimes, rarely, a book will have a physical effect on me. Every time that I paused while reading this book, I found myself almost gasping for air. I wasn't exactly holding my breath. It was Daelyn's thoughts that were suffocating me. I can't explain why I felt this way, exactly. Maybe it was the complete sense of emptiness she had. Maybe it was the calm and certain way she was planning her death, after multiple failed attempts. On that note, I feel reading this could be full of triggers for a ...more
Aug 04, 2011 rated it really liked it
I absolutely loved this book.

.. until the last page, that is.
While reading this, I, myself, was going through some difficult things as well. Ms. Peters wrote the subject of suicide very, very well. And at times, I actually wanted such a website to exist. There were parts in this book where I yearned to be sitting next to Daelyn, the suicidal, partially mute main character, hugging her, somehow reassuring her things would be okay. And there were parts in this book where I cried, because I related
Oct 17, 2012 rated it it was ok
I read this for the Teen Parenting Program Book Discussion Group.

It is very strange.

I did feel bad for her but she is really being a bummer.

I guess I just wish she could see the good things in life. And I say this coming from a background of being a very depressed teen myself who didn't see the light until after college. But she definitely had some horrible experiences that I can see why she would be acting that way. I guess I just wish I could help her, or that someone had helped her before s
Mar 05, 2010 rated it really liked it
I really liked this book - I would instantly distribute it to a lot of individuals attending my school. Bullying is an abusive, hurtful, and often times overlooked behavior that breaks the self-esteem of kids and teens. It was understandably difficult to read this, but I trudged through the torturous things Daelyn experienced.

Daelyn may be a bit unsympathetic for most readers, but her circumstance made it all the more believable to me. The writing was also solid. I am looking forward to reading
Jul 13, 2009 rated it really liked it
Actual rating 4.5

Not a real ''review'' like book bloggers do, but it's something.

I'm not really sure what to say about this book. It was hard for me to read at times, but I never really wanted to put it down. Sometimes I had to, just to give myself time to clear my head.

Daelyn was a very real character, in my opinion. As was Santana. Both characters were different and had their own problems. They complimented each other well. I personally ADORED Santana and his ''relationship'' with Daelyn.

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Julie Anne Peters was born in Jamestown, New York. When she was five, her family moved to the Denver suburbs in Colorado. Her parents divorced when she was in high school. She has three siblings: a brother, John, and two younger sisters, Jeanne and Susan.

Her books for young adults include Define "Normal" (2000), Keeping You a Secret (2003), Luna (2004), Far from Xanadu (2005), Between Mom and Jo (

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