Twisthorn Bellow

by Rhys Hughes

Twisthorn He's dynamite -- and he has a short fuse! It may come as no surprise that France wants to take over the world again. But this time they plan to go much further and gain control of the spiritual dimensions too, making French the official language of the afterlife! Twisthorn Bellow is a freshly baked golem who has fallen into a vat of nitroglycerin, turning him into a living stick of dynamite. As well as battling against monsters and rock musicians, he's the only thing that can preserve and protect the glorious British Empire and prevent the French-ification of the entire cosmos. But considering the French have all the best ideas and tunes, he doesn't stand a soufflé in Hell's chance!

256 pages, Paperback

First published September 18, 2009

About the author

A writer of Speculative Fiction who uses fantasy and comedy to explore unusual concepts. Known for his original ideas, intricate plots, love of paradox, and entertaining wordplay.

Reviews

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hughes parodies Hellboy and B.P.R.D. (getting a blurb from Mike Mignola) and pays tribute to Philip Jose Farmer, but like most Hughes fiction these are just vehicles to launch blasts of insanity at the reader and twist you tortured mind into weird shapes. This is him being more accessibly comic than usual, and approximates the literary equivalent of the better parts of Adult Swim by which I mean Might Boosh! And Venture Brothers. Unfortunately like most of Hughes’s work it is really hard to find ( I got it through inter-library loan).

[Stephen Theaker · Rating 4 out of 5]

As its subtitle explains, Twisthorn Bellow concerns itself with "the unusual escapades of a self-exploding golem with a twisted horn and attitude somewhere on the astral plane and also on foot right here". Hopefully that's clear! He's a powerful golem created to protect England and annihilate evil. The book's dedicated in part to the memory of Philip José Farmer, and though there aren't many stylistic echoes here of his work, it's easy to see why Farmer would attract Hughes' admiration. Both writers delight in high concepts, intertextuality, puns, and following nutty ideas right through to the end.

In this book the idea is a Doom Patrol or B.P.R.D. devoted to the promotion of British interests, assembled by Shylock Cherlomsky, a madman with an obsessive hatred of the French. It's at its best when the monster squad gets out and about – early episodes take place largely within the base, giving the book a more claustrophobic feel than is usual for Rhys Hughes' work. The action scenes, though sketched with a raised eyebrow, are vivid and dynamic, Twisthorn's kpinga and its "madly sprouting blades" being put to devastating use on all manner of ne'er-do-wells, including "ghouls, banshees, centaurs, abominable snowmen, warlocks, mandrakes, perytons, lamias, musicians, elves, harpies, robots, moths and sundry French things".

It's not quite as commercial as I expected – it's not at all a book where Hughes has reined himself in or tried to conform to the expectations of a wider readership – and I'm not entirely sure why that disappointed me, since I enjoyed the book all the same. It's good monster fun, with some surprising cameos, including Philip José Farmer himself and a big red fellow who has no time for Twisthorn's nonsense. I read this at about the same time as Maurice Renard's Doctor Lerne, Subgod – the first book I've read that was narrated by a table! – and how funny then to find this book narrated by... well, I won't spoil it. Though I have stood on it.

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

I greatly enjoyed this fantastique romp through adventure and punning wordplay as we follow the titular character (a golem) created to defend Britain against the perceived threat of the French. Several ingenious concepts are proposed (such as the whole of France being mailed to Britain so that when the parcel is opened the contents expand to cover the entire land surface), and all of them hold a certain logic beyond absurdity. Recommended.

[S.M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Twisthorn Bellow delivers more puns, dirty japes, and pop culture and literary references than any reasonable person can (or should) shake a stick at. Recommended if you're in the mood for some goofy, unhinged British humor.

[Carol Weekes · Rating 5 out of 5]

A humourous and highly entertaining story that involves elements of the fantastical in a unique way: British scientist Shylock Cherlomsky employs and/or creates a series of monsters and mutations in his quest to prevent the French from enforcing their language as the official 'mode of speak' in the afterlife. This book compelled me to keep turning pages and had me laughing out loud many times - a fun and engrossing read!