HOSPITAL!: A Medical Satire of Unhealthy Proportions

by Kyle Bradford Jones

Dr. Camus is a jerk. The whole hospital loathes him. His patients loathe him. And the hospital's CEO really loathes him. The staff want him to just take the blue pill from The Matrix and wake up to reality—or is it the green pill? He's also not a very good doctor, as he doesn't realize that none of his patients actually have... pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoniosis... his favorite Wikipedia- inspired diagnosis.But Rosencrantz the CEO can't replace him without immense cost and time; it is cheaper to provide a censor to follow Camus around and cover up his insults than find a new doctor. When Dr. Camus starts sending all of his patients to the Good Hospital up the street, Mr. Rosencrantz the CEO has a brilliant idea—a one-month suspension without pay, and hypnotism by the Amazing Ralph to change Camus's behavior.After Dr. Camus comes back a changed man, he faces all of the same challenges as before. Can he and Rosencrantz together save his humanity and the hospital's bottom line? Probably not, but it's a good time anyway.If you have a sense of humor, or if you don't but would like one, then pick up your copy today!

127 pages, Paperback

Published December 21, 2022

About the author

I am a family man, family physician, baseball-lovin', non-fiction-readin', movie-watchin', health care policy advocatin', child of the Intermountain West. I'm working hard to decrease the stigma surrounding mental illness in our society and among doctors who suffer from depression and anxiety. Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook (@kbjones11), and on my website kylebradfordjones.com. I'd love to hear from you!

Reviews

[Grace Convertino · Rating 4 out of 5]

This hilarious satire takes place at “The Peloton Forward Crescendo Care Amicus Health Priority Catalyst Wellness Code Blue Memorial Hospital of Her Motherly Excellence” in Anytown, USA (slogan: We Are a Hospital”). Dr. Jacksonian Democracy Camus is a “jerk,” despised by patients, peers, and superiors alike. His language is expletive-laden, so much so that The Censor must follow him everywhere to bleep out all of his shouted at anyone and everyone obscenities (…there was a man following Dr. Camus, who blew an air horn every time he cursed. …he had a lot of practice and was quite good at anticipating Camus’s language. Since he astutely negotiated payment for every BLEEP he had to use, he actually took home more income than any of the physicians”). Camus calls people by the wrong name, insults physical appearance and body odor, and is obnoxious in every way, believing he is the best person and doctor there ever was. After dumping some Emergency Patients outside and calling The Good Hospital to transfer others, The CEO Rosencrantz steps in. He does important things, like thinking about changing the hospital slogan to “‘We are a hospital—and that’s a promise!” Knowing it is cheaper to keep him than to fire him only to hire and train a replacement, The CEO Rosencrantz suspends him for a month without pay, then sends him to a hypnotist. Not a private hypnotist, mind you, Camus is sent to The Amazing Ralph’s show where he is indeed hypnotized and returns a changed man. No one likes Camus any better as a Nice Guy; so an intern uses the word “boondoggle” to snap him out of it, paid by The Censor who needed to retain his position in order to stay wealthy.

I laughed out loud at the over-the-top format of this humorous novel, written by family physician Dr. Kyle Bradford Jones. I have had a plethora of experience in hospitals as a patient, and so was especially amused by the absurdity and tone throughout the book. I not only enjoyed reading but laughed out loud at many parts and asides from The Narrator.” It’s very clear that Dr. Jones finds humor in all situations, and can truly tell a funny story. As an example, here is the ending banter shared by Dr. Camus and The Censor: “I don’t get it, why did that [BLEEP] student say ‘boondoggle’? It was a complete [BLEEP] non sequitur.” “Don’t you get it? How dense are you? I obviously put him up to it. I’m the only one around who knew that the secret word was ‘boondoggle’, and I was about to lose my job. When you’re a decent human being, then my life falls apart. I had to get you back to the jerk you really are!” “…Oh, wait, I think I actually prefer being a jerk again. Never mind. Thanks for watching out for me, buddy.” “Don’t mention it. Now let’s go terrorize some people.” If you have any experience with the red tape and formalities of the inner workings of a hospital, you’ll enjoy this tongue-in-cheek approach to medicine.

I’d like to thank NetGalley, Dr. Kyle Bradford Jones, and Black Rose Writing for the ability to read and review this ARC.

[Medhini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC! All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This was a quick, easy, and lighthearted read that definitely met the description of "unhealthy satire". I thought it was endearing that some of the ideas for the book came from the author's children, and am impressed by the fact that it was written in front of an audience. Regarding the content of the book itself, I think the premise was unique and I was entertained by aspects like the Censor and the narrator's interjections. My primary criticism is that it sometimes felt like the story couldn't decide whether it wanted to be presented in book format or performed on a stage. Nevertheless, it was a fever dream of an experience reading this.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick read with some decent humor (which can be difficult to pull off). It has it's moments. It's good to see an author that knows when to end a story (and not draw it out).

Thanks very much for the free review copy for review!!

[Kathleen Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in a few hours and it was very enjoyable. Described as "a medical satire of Unhealthy Proportions", this short story was one I needed to read for a chuckle.

The protagonist of the story by Kyle Bradford Jones is Dr. Camus, and he is a jerk, likes no one, belittles everyone. He isn't even a good doctor as he misdiagnoses most of his cases. His favorite diagnoses are pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoniosis which is his favorite Wikipedia diagnosis. He doesn't even like himself I don't think.

The CEO of the hospital, Rosencrantz can't replace him because it would be costly and time consuming. He has a Censor go around after Camus to try to calm Camus and his outbursts.

Dr. Camus has decided to send his patients to a different hospital is when Rosencrantz has a brilliant idea. A one-month suspension without pay and Dr. Camus has to undergo hypnotism to try to change his attitude and behavior.

After coming back from his suspension and hypnosis he is a changed man. Kind of freaks the staff as they do not know how to handle this changed person. There is another problem, the hypnotist, Amazing Ralph, dies and takes the word that will bring Dr. Camus out of his 'spell'.

I found that this story was very funny, laughed out loud a few times, especially the name of the hospital, The Peloton Catalyst Wellness Code Blue Memorial Hospital of her Motherly Excellence. The author took a few liberties in that every time the hospital was mentioned, the name was turned around into another name.

It is fun to read something just for the fun of it. I have to give this book 5 stars because it made me laugh, which most books I read don't do. Plus, the author is a physician, so I imagine he has come across people like Dr. Camus in one form or another.

If you want a good chuckle and a quick read, you can't go wrong with Hospital!

I received a copy of the book for review purposes only.

[Maggie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dr Camus is a poor excuse for a human being & an even poorer example of a good doctor. He spends his days insulting & swearing at everyone- in fact the CEO of the hospital has a censor following him about to BLEEP out his colourful vocabulary. When it gets too much to CEO suspends him & insists he goes to a hypnotist to change his ways. Does it work? I'll let you read it for yourself.

I know this is satire & is supposed to be over the top but I can't say I enjoyed this book. I did at least persevere to the end which gave it two stars instead of one. Thanks to Netgalley & the publisher for letting me read & review this book-I can't love them all & I'm sure others will.

[Katmandu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is wonderful

If you have ever been in the hospital, know someone who is in the hospital or are or have been hospital adjacent you will appreciate the bleep out of this book. Any more would require effort on my part and that's not going to blessed happen.

[Chloe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Everywhere Dr. Camus goes, he spreads negativity and a slew of insults and curses so strong, the hospital he works at has hired someone to follow him around all day to censor him. But one day, he goes too far and his boss decides he’s become too much of a liability if he can’t get his anger under control. An ultimatum is given, and people’s jobs are on the line.
As someone who works in a hospital, I found this really amusing. Doctors are often stereotyped as cranky for a reason, and with all they have to deal with, it is no surprise why they are the way they are. This satire shows how hospitals focus on profit above actually helping people, and the negative effects that causes from the top-down. In this story, the system is more exaggerated and hilarious than our boring dystopia, but much of it rings true. The writing was easy to read and I read through it quickly.
A comedic satire of the state of healthcare in America right now. 4 stars

[Lizz Axnick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a shorter and lighter version of House of God, but with a lot less adult content and a censor that follows the main character around with an air horn to get rid of profanity.

This book pokes a lot of fun at healthcare, somewhat accurately unfortunately. Made me laugh out loud several times. I read it in about an hour. I also for some reason pictured Dr. Camus (Cay-mus not Cay-moo NOT FRENCH!) as the evil chef from Ratatouille.

Delightful quick read about the sad state of the American healthcare system.

My thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this ARC. Opinions in this review are my own.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A satire about a disrespectful hospital physician whose language is so foul the authorities have hired a censor to follow him around with an air horn to reduce complaints. Tart observation from the author, a real life medic, the story zips along to a satisfying conclusion. Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the arc.

[Sylvia Barker · Rating 2 out of 5]

As the wife of a physician, I was thinking this might be a humorous look at the profession. Unfortunately, I did not find the humour in this novel to be to my tastes. I suspect it will appeal to some but it is just not for me.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite enjoyable but I found the style of writing a little erratic and hard to follow and lose myself in at times. I see it has good reviews, but think it’s just a me thing!