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Where the Sun Won't Shine
Shiloh Green was once happy. As the girlfriend of Braxton Abbott, drummer for the popular YouTube band Contained Chaos, the future had seemed promising. They’d get married, have kids, have successful careers, and live happily ever after in the spotlight. She’d stop at nothing to help make his dreams become reality, starting with being his biggest fan.
That was the plan—until Braxton’s suicide shattered her world.
Now Shiloh is left to carry the heavy weight of guilt and pick up the pieces of what had once been a seemingly perfect relationship. She doesn’t know how to live her life without him, and neither do his bandmates. As she struggles her way through her final year of high school, Contained Chaos’ growing success comes with a new drummer, Dalton, who she can’t help but resent. But Shiloh must learn how to move forward, and as she navigates through her grief, she begins to discover that her search for answers won’t be easy—and it shouldn’t hold her back from truly living.
That was the plan—until Braxton’s suicide shattered her world.
Now Shiloh is left to carry the heavy weight of guilt and pick up the pieces of what had once been a seemingly perfect relationship. She doesn’t know how to live her life without him, and neither do his bandmates. As she struggles her way through her final year of high school, Contained Chaos’ growing success comes with a new drummer, Dalton, who she can’t help but resent. But Shiloh must learn how to move forward, and as she navigates through her grief, she begins to discover that her search for answers won’t be easy—and it shouldn’t hold her back from truly living.
275 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 15, 2022
About the author
Brianna North
6 books61 followersBrianna North is the author of several novels including the social-media-themed thriller A Familiar Betrayal and the emotional contemporary tale Where the Sun Won't Shine. She is a graduate of the public relations program at Cambrian College and currently works as a full-time marketing manager, specializing in copywriting and social media marketing. When she’s not working on her next novel, you can find her reading, checking new countries off her bucket list, or playing with her cat Cooper.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
February 3, 2024
To say I enjoyed this book doesn’t feel like the right wording, because this was a very deeply painful book to read. Having said that it’s beautifully done and deals with a difficult subject very well. I did struggle a little with the topic of the story but I think books like this should make us a little uncomfortable, it’s not a book to be taken lightly. I would recommend this book but only to those who have read the trigger warnings before hand. All in all, a well written book about a tragic loss and how grief and guilt can often come intertwined!
February 16, 2024
An emotional, thought-provoking read with moments of reflection and hope. Definitely read the trigger warnings before picking it up!
July 7, 2023
First before my review I want to give my thanks to & the author for the opportunity to read this AMAZING book in return for my honest review.
Also thanks to for telling me about it<3
———————————————
At first when I read the blurb, I thought this would be similar to “You’ve Reached Sam” so I immediately had my expectations set. However, I did get a surprise as the first 20 pages definitely wasn’t anything similar to it but even tho I was kinda disappointed and I wasn’t really used to the After & Before chapters. I tried giving it a chance and when I tell you I LOVED IT!!! Like I didn’t expect 20% in and I’m loving it. I quickly got used to the After & Before chapters, I’m actually even thankful that the author added them together cause it just enhanced the experience and made me get to know all the characters better even Braxton, who I came to love as I read more about him.
———————————————
In the After chapters, it’s Shiloh and everyone dealing with Braxton’s death almost a week after he died. While the Before chapters are when they are getting ready to go on tour in summer for the boy’s band group that’s named ‘Contained Chaos’ that consists of four members, one of them being Braxton whose the drummer. Shiloh and her best friend, Grace, are tagging along with them to help with the vlogging.
I honestly loved every single character in this book. All were amazing! I loved them more than I thought I would, this book exceeded my expectations.
The way I could also see how happy they were before Braxton’s death to after it and how all of them tried to cope with it broke my heart. Then to see them in the Before chapters being so happy and excited made me want to cry even more.
———————————————
Also, when I read the Before chapters I actually noted signs of depression from Braxton, that hurt me even more as they weren’t obvious and all everyone could think about after his death is what were the signs that he showed and how come they didn’t notice it. It broke my heart as I wished he didn’t do it, that he would have asked for help, even tho I realize that sometimes asking for help is a lot more harder than it seems but I just wish he did cause he was amazing, sweet, talented, funny, and definitely should’ve loved a longer life. I also adored his relationship with Shiloh. How they got along and all their ridiculous banters😂
If the author chooses to write a book for just Shiloh & Braxton’s relationship, I will definitely eat that book up! Like that’s how much I loved their relationship. Honestly, even just a book about the band with Braxton in it and just their journey would also be the ✨PERFECT✨ read for me<3
———————————————
Grace & Alex’s relationship melted my heart!! I just love them and how they’re so good together. Also every time I read about them I remember when Braxton joked saying that they would def get married before they even started dating🤭
The friendships and the numerous supports I saw in this book from ppl that love each other and are huddling together hoping the other can use that strength to get through this is so beautiful and all the characters are such strong people to be able to cope with it the way they did.
———————————————
I also definitely cried when Alex sang the song he wrote for Braxton: “For You” and just how beautiful it was(PS; I wish someone would actually sing it cause it sounds so good!!🫶🏻) I resumed crying when Braxton & Shiloh talked about the future they wanted that will never become true. I was so happy for Shiloh to get the motivation to dance again. I cried at the ending and smiled all at once as I read about the day Braxton killed himself. And then I’d smile knowing that Shiloh is trying to move on and look forward for the future and that the boys actually got their DREAM to come true after working so hard for it<3
———————————————
This book was an emotional roller coaster for me. I felt so many emotions and it’s been like a day since I finished the book & I can’t stop thinking about it?!😩❤️
———————————————
Quotes📜
⚜️”Since I never really got to say those words to Braxton, this is my change to redeem myself, to be there when anyone needs me, to make sure they always know how much I love them.”
⚜️”The majority of the world’s population could probably agree that junk food really has its way of mending a broken heart.”
⚜️”I feel a slow burn start behind my eyes, too. There’s something so beautiful about watching them play so passionately, even though there’s an unfamiliar face sitting behind the drum kit. They’re willing to make their dreams work despite the massive obstacle that was thrown their way.”
⚜️”The first show without him. A tribute instead.”
⚜️”His words get me; if I could talk to Braxton one more time, where would I start? I’d tell him how much I miss him. How much I hate him for leaving. How much I love him and always will. How much his parents, friends, and fans love him. I’d ask him why he did this to us, what made him think that transferring his pain to us was the better option. What made him think his successful future wasn’t worth it. What made him think we weren’t worth it.”
⚜️I didn’t know if I’d have words for how much I loved him. I settled on, “It’s a rollercoaster ride, in a good way. No matter how busy his life gets, he always makes time for me and makes sure I’m happy. He really just has the biggest heart.”
⚜️”I make a promise to myself that I’ll never distance myself from my passion ever again.”
⚜️His face crumples at that, and I can’t help it; the tears leak out of my eyes, too. “I just wish we never had to make this decision in the first place. I don’t get why he never talked to me about what was going on. I was his best friend. His best friend of thirteen years. He told me everything.”
“Me too. He always used to talk about the future. I just don’t get why he’d talk about the future when he didn’t even want it.”
“He really loved you, you know.” Alex’s wet eyes meet mine. “He talked about you all the time. I don’t think I ever heard him say a single bad thing about you.” He smiles faintly. “Just in case you thought he didn’t.”
⚜️Now I’m bawling, and it’s Alex’s turn to put his arms around me. “If he loved me so much, why’d he leave me?”
“I wish I knew.”
⚜️”After everything I did for him, he still left me behind. And I’m so tired of being sad, so tired of crying over someone who hurt me. He knew exactly what he was doing when he decided that dying was the answer. Now he’s taunting me in my dreams, pretending to be happy with me all over again. He was once the love of my life, but today I can’t stand him. Why does everything have to be so goddamn complicated?”
⚜️”You know I’m not leaving you anyway. I love you way too much.” He covered my hand with his. “I love you too. And I’m not going anywhere, either.” “Good, ‘cause I’d probably die without you.”
⚜️ “The song has triggered a landslide of grief, and every line cuts through me like a knife as they repeat through my head. It’s not fair that Braxton isn’t here to hear this song. He would have loved it.”
⚜️”My reflection in the full-length mirror stares back at me, and for the first time in ages, I don’t hate what I see. The bags under my eyes are almost gone, and the stress acne on my forehead has completely disappeared. Colour has returned to my face. I look…happy. The sight has become so unfamiliar to me that I can’t help but keep looking in disbelief. It’s like I’m seeing a completely different person.”
⚜️”But, deep down, my heart tells me he’s proud of his best friends for how far they’ve come. He wouldn’t want to see them give up on their dreams after all the years they’ve spent working to achieve them. I picture him standing next to me now, anticipating the moment the boys take the stage. I hope, wherever he is, that he can watch the show and see everyone come together in honour of him, see how much they loved him. And, of course, to listen to the song that was written for him.”
⚜️”He was gone. Gone. Forever. Dead. My best friend, the love of my life, was dead. And I’d never see him again. He was supposed to grow old. He was supposed to get out of Cumber Valley. He was supposed to make his dreams come true. He was supposed to have a future. But he didn’t get to do any of that now. How could this be possible? It was so goddamn unfair.”
⚜️”I won’t say time heals all wounds, because I’m still not sure how true that is, but I know there will be many more days where I feel weighed down by the loss. Grief doesn’t come with an instruction manual; I just have to take it day by day.”
Also thanks to for telling me about it<3
———————————————
At first when I read the blurb, I thought this would be similar to “You’ve Reached Sam” so I immediately had my expectations set. However, I did get a surprise as the first 20 pages definitely wasn’t anything similar to it but even tho I was kinda disappointed and I wasn’t really used to the After & Before chapters. I tried giving it a chance and when I tell you I LOVED IT!!! Like I didn’t expect 20% in and I’m loving it. I quickly got used to the After & Before chapters, I’m actually even thankful that the author added them together cause it just enhanced the experience and made me get to know all the characters better even Braxton, who I came to love as I read more about him.
———————————————
In the After chapters, it’s Shiloh and everyone dealing with Braxton’s death almost a week after he died. While the Before chapters are when they are getting ready to go on tour in summer for the boy’s band group that’s named ‘Contained Chaos’ that consists of four members, one of them being Braxton whose the drummer. Shiloh and her best friend, Grace, are tagging along with them to help with the vlogging.
I honestly loved every single character in this book. All were amazing! I loved them more than I thought I would, this book exceeded my expectations.
The way I could also see how happy they were before Braxton’s death to after it and how all of them tried to cope with it broke my heart. Then to see them in the Before chapters being so happy and excited made me want to cry even more.
———————————————
Also, when I read the Before chapters I actually noted signs of depression from Braxton, that hurt me even more as they weren’t obvious and all everyone could think about after his death is what were the signs that he showed and how come they didn’t notice it. It broke my heart as I wished he didn’t do it, that he would have asked for help, even tho I realize that sometimes asking for help is a lot more harder than it seems but I just wish he did cause he was amazing, sweet, talented, funny, and definitely should’ve loved a longer life. I also adored his relationship with Shiloh. How they got along and all their ridiculous banters😂
If the author chooses to write a book for just Shiloh & Braxton’s relationship, I will definitely eat that book up! Like that’s how much I loved their relationship. Honestly, even just a book about the band with Braxton in it and just their journey would also be the ✨PERFECT✨ read for me<3
———————————————
Grace & Alex’s relationship melted my heart!! I just love them and how they’re so good together. Also every time I read about them I remember when Braxton joked saying that they would def get married before they even started dating🤭
The friendships and the numerous supports I saw in this book from ppl that love each other and are huddling together hoping the other can use that strength to get through this is so beautiful and all the characters are such strong people to be able to cope with it the way they did.
———————————————
I also definitely cried when Alex sang the song he wrote for Braxton: “For You” and just how beautiful it was(PS; I wish someone would actually sing it cause it sounds so good!!🫶🏻) I resumed crying when Braxton & Shiloh talked about the future they wanted that will never become true. I was so happy for Shiloh to get the motivation to dance again. I cried at the ending and smiled all at once as I read about the day Braxton killed himself. And then I’d smile knowing that Shiloh is trying to move on and look forward for the future and that the boys actually got their DREAM to come true after working so hard for it<3
———————————————
This book was an emotional roller coaster for me. I felt so many emotions and it’s been like a day since I finished the book & I can’t stop thinking about it?!😩❤️
———————————————
Quotes📜
⚜️”Since I never really got to say those words to Braxton, this is my change to redeem myself, to be there when anyone needs me, to make sure they always know how much I love them.”
⚜️”The majority of the world’s population could probably agree that junk food really has its way of mending a broken heart.”
⚜️”I feel a slow burn start behind my eyes, too. There’s something so beautiful about watching them play so passionately, even though there’s an unfamiliar face sitting behind the drum kit. They’re willing to make their dreams work despite the massive obstacle that was thrown their way.”
⚜️”The first show without him. A tribute instead.”
⚜️”His words get me; if I could talk to Braxton one more time, where would I start? I’d tell him how much I miss him. How much I hate him for leaving. How much I love him and always will. How much his parents, friends, and fans love him. I’d ask him why he did this to us, what made him think that transferring his pain to us was the better option. What made him think his successful future wasn’t worth it. What made him think we weren’t worth it.”
⚜️I didn’t know if I’d have words for how much I loved him. I settled on, “It’s a rollercoaster ride, in a good way. No matter how busy his life gets, he always makes time for me and makes sure I’m happy. He really just has the biggest heart.”
⚜️”I make a promise to myself that I’ll never distance myself from my passion ever again.”
⚜️His face crumples at that, and I can’t help it; the tears leak out of my eyes, too. “I just wish we never had to make this decision in the first place. I don’t get why he never talked to me about what was going on. I was his best friend. His best friend of thirteen years. He told me everything.”
“Me too. He always used to talk about the future. I just don’t get why he’d talk about the future when he didn’t even want it.”
“He really loved you, you know.” Alex’s wet eyes meet mine. “He talked about you all the time. I don’t think I ever heard him say a single bad thing about you.” He smiles faintly. “Just in case you thought he didn’t.”
⚜️Now I’m bawling, and it’s Alex’s turn to put his arms around me. “If he loved me so much, why’d he leave me?”
“I wish I knew.”
⚜️”After everything I did for him, he still left me behind. And I’m so tired of being sad, so tired of crying over someone who hurt me. He knew exactly what he was doing when he decided that dying was the answer. Now he’s taunting me in my dreams, pretending to be happy with me all over again. He was once the love of my life, but today I can’t stand him. Why does everything have to be so goddamn complicated?”
⚜️”You know I’m not leaving you anyway. I love you way too much.” He covered my hand with his. “I love you too. And I’m not going anywhere, either.” “Good, ‘cause I’d probably die without you.”
⚜️ “The song has triggered a landslide of grief, and every line cuts through me like a knife as they repeat through my head. It’s not fair that Braxton isn’t here to hear this song. He would have loved it.”
⚜️”My reflection in the full-length mirror stares back at me, and for the first time in ages, I don’t hate what I see. The bags under my eyes are almost gone, and the stress acne on my forehead has completely disappeared. Colour has returned to my face. I look…happy. The sight has become so unfamiliar to me that I can’t help but keep looking in disbelief. It’s like I’m seeing a completely different person.”
⚜️”But, deep down, my heart tells me he’s proud of his best friends for how far they’ve come. He wouldn’t want to see them give up on their dreams after all the years they’ve spent working to achieve them. I picture him standing next to me now, anticipating the moment the boys take the stage. I hope, wherever he is, that he can watch the show and see everyone come together in honour of him, see how much they loved him. And, of course, to listen to the song that was written for him.”
⚜️”He was gone. Gone. Forever. Dead. My best friend, the love of my life, was dead. And I’d never see him again. He was supposed to grow old. He was supposed to get out of Cumber Valley. He was supposed to make his dreams come true. He was supposed to have a future. But he didn’t get to do any of that now. How could this be possible? It was so goddamn unfair.”
⚜️”I won’t say time heals all wounds, because I’m still not sure how true that is, but I know there will be many more days where I feel weighed down by the loss. Grief doesn’t come with an instruction manual; I just have to take it day by day.”
March 15, 2025
Genre: YA contemporary/social issue fiction
Rating: 3.5/5 (rounded up)
Content warnings: Teenage suicide and grief are the main themes of this novel. There's also strong language, some smoking and underage drinking, mentions of vomiting, and very brief, non-graphic mentions of sex. This one is hard to give an age rating for, as I think it depends heavily on a person's maturity level and personal experiences/understanding of suicide, but I think 15+ would be reasonable. There are no graphic scenes of any kind, but obviously the main subject matter is a very dark one.
"Where The Sun Won't Shine" is a bittersweet YA novel which I think did a job good of handling the sensitive topics it discusses. It is well-written, and while I didn't like it as much as the first book I read by Brianna (A Familiar Betrayal, an amazing thriller that I rated a 4.5/5), I would still recommend this book; I especially think it could be a helpful, reassuring read for young people who are going through something similar to Shiloh.
The story is told through two timelines - "Before" and "After" - and it centres around seventeen-year-old Shiloh Green as she deals with her grief after the sudden suicide of her boyfriend, talented drummer Braxton whose band Contained Chaos are on the brink of making it big. The band and the overall theme of music features heavily in this story, and it was an aspect I enjoyed. Contained Chaos are a pop-rock boy band who have gained most of their following through their YouTube channel. This, along with frequent references to vlogging and even a mention of VidCon, gave the story a very 2012-2015ish type feel to it - the years when daily vlogs and YouTube in general was at the peak of its popularity - which was very nostalgic for me as someone who was a preteen during that era. I don't think the book is canonically set during that time period, but I do wonder if the first draft was maybe written around that time, or perhaps inspired by Brianna's own nostalgia, as I believe she's only a few years older than me. Either way, it was a detail I enjoyed which I think sets it apart a little from other similar books.
The writing style is quite simple for the most part, but not so simple that it seems amateur. It's a style which makes the story accessible for teenagers or reluctant readers - never confusing, with just the right balance between description, narrative, and dialogue. I also didn't notice a single typo or grammar error, which is extremely rare and impressive for a self-published novel, so major props to whoever edited it (I'm assuming Brianna herself; as a fellow indie author, I know how much professional editors cost lol.)
As I stated earlier, I think Where The Sun Won't Shine handles the issues of suicide and grief very well. The depiction is sensitive and non-graphic, and Brianna shows the emotional aspects perfectly. Shiloh's grief is non-linear, and she goes through a huge spectrum emotions: we see her heartbroken, angry, confused, and even seemingly fine in some scenes. As for Braxton, the signs he is suicidal are there for us to see in the "Before" chapters, and they grow more intense towards the end of his life, but they are realistically subtle. Braxton doesn't cry or scream, and he certainly doesn't say outright what he's planning to do: these signs are so much quieter. They are signs that - as much as we might want to believe otherwise - most people would miss, and this is sadly the case for most real life suicides. Usually, the signs aren't obvious until it's too late. I commend Brianna for depicting both suicidal individuals and the grieving loved ones they leave behind in a way that is equally sensitive and realistic.
It's important to note, though, that as sad as this book and its subject matter is, it isn't all depressing - in fact, this book didn't feel at all depressing to me. Sad, of course, but not depressing, if that makes sense. Another review worded this better than I think I could, so I'm going to include some quotes from it: "I think my qualms come mostly from never feeling like I properly grieved. I was led down a path towards, "Life goes on, and it WILL still be beautiful, just different with a hole." The relationships Shiloh has around her are amazingly supportive and loving, which is also refreshing in books with heavy subject matter", and also "This book felt overwhelmingly, "It will be ok, it's not your fault," vs a book rife with all the stages of grief for the reader. I, again, really admire how the author DID choose to write the stages of grief with the beautiful moments of finding joy again. But I want to feel deeply, and every time I felt close to straight ugly crying, I was given a moment of happiness." This is exactly how I felt reading this. I went into this book expecting a heartwrenching, messy read - something along the lines of Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak, although that does deal with a completely different set of issues - but this felt neater and much more emotional for the characters than for me as the reader. I felt like an outsider watching in on Shiloh's life, rather than inside the story experiencing the emotions with her. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing; I just would've personally preferred something a bit heavier. I do think, though, that this slightly more surface-level approach is probably a better option for younger readers or somebody who is going through a loss of their own, as I think Where The Sun Won't Shine is much less likely to be triggering than something more Speak-esque.
Onto the characters. Across the board, I felt their development was quite slow, but by the end of the book, most of them were well-rounded and realistic. Alex was easily my favourite, and I really liked his friendship with Shiloh. I did feel that both Nathan and Carson could've used more development, though; I felt they had no real personalities other than being in the band, and were pretty much interchangeable. While I understand they play less of an active role in the story than their bandmates Alex, Braxton, and Dalton, they were still present in almost every chapter, and for that reason, I think further development would've absolutely been justified.
Another criticism I have is that I felt the overall pacing of this book was a bit too slow, particularly in the "Before" chapters: I really hate to use this word, but I found some of them a little boring, and feel they easily could've been cut without affecting the plot. I understand that Brianna wanted to tell the story of everything that happened in the build up to Braxton's death, but I think this could've been better done by having the "Before" chapters simply show highlights (or lowlights) of Shiloh and Braxton's relationship over the years, rather than every detail of events like the Contained Chaos tour, which started to feel a bit repetitive after a while. At 308 pages (Kindle edition), this book is of average length for its genre, but I think it could've benefitted from being 30-50 pages shorter. Having said that, though, I felt the pacing with the "After" chapters was much better, and I don't remember feeling bored at all while reading those.
Overall, this is a book I would recommend to anyone who's looking for a sensitive depiction of suicide, grief, and the other issues surrounding these topics. It is well-written and easy to understand, with likeable characters. It impressively manages to be both realistic and hopeful, rather than depressing, which I think could be helpful to many young people - this is definitely a book I would put in a high school library if I were a teacher. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of Brianna's books in the near future.
Rating: 3.5/5 (rounded up)
Content warnings: Teenage suicide and grief are the main themes of this novel. There's also strong language, some smoking and underage drinking, mentions of vomiting, and very brief, non-graphic mentions of sex. This one is hard to give an age rating for, as I think it depends heavily on a person's maturity level and personal experiences/understanding of suicide, but I think 15+ would be reasonable. There are no graphic scenes of any kind, but obviously the main subject matter is a very dark one.
"Where The Sun Won't Shine" is a bittersweet YA novel which I think did a job good of handling the sensitive topics it discusses. It is well-written, and while I didn't like it as much as the first book I read by Brianna (A Familiar Betrayal, an amazing thriller that I rated a 4.5/5), I would still recommend this book; I especially think it could be a helpful, reassuring read for young people who are going through something similar to Shiloh.
The story is told through two timelines - "Before" and "After" - and it centres around seventeen-year-old Shiloh Green as she deals with her grief after the sudden suicide of her boyfriend, talented drummer Braxton whose band Contained Chaos are on the brink of making it big. The band and the overall theme of music features heavily in this story, and it was an aspect I enjoyed. Contained Chaos are a pop-rock boy band who have gained most of their following through their YouTube channel. This, along with frequent references to vlogging and even a mention of VidCon, gave the story a very 2012-2015ish type feel to it - the years when daily vlogs and YouTube in general was at the peak of its popularity - which was very nostalgic for me as someone who was a preteen during that era. I don't think the book is canonically set during that time period, but I do wonder if the first draft was maybe written around that time, or perhaps inspired by Brianna's own nostalgia, as I believe she's only a few years older than me. Either way, it was a detail I enjoyed which I think sets it apart a little from other similar books.
The writing style is quite simple for the most part, but not so simple that it seems amateur. It's a style which makes the story accessible for teenagers or reluctant readers - never confusing, with just the right balance between description, narrative, and dialogue. I also didn't notice a single typo or grammar error, which is extremely rare and impressive for a self-published novel, so major props to whoever edited it (I'm assuming Brianna herself; as a fellow indie author, I know how much professional editors cost lol.)
As I stated earlier, I think Where The Sun Won't Shine handles the issues of suicide and grief very well. The depiction is sensitive and non-graphic, and Brianna shows the emotional aspects perfectly. Shiloh's grief is non-linear, and she goes through a huge spectrum emotions: we see her heartbroken, angry, confused, and even seemingly fine in some scenes. As for Braxton, the signs he is suicidal are there for us to see in the "Before" chapters, and they grow more intense towards the end of his life, but they are realistically subtle. Braxton doesn't cry or scream, and he certainly doesn't say outright what he's planning to do: these signs are so much quieter. They are signs that - as much as we might want to believe otherwise - most people would miss, and this is sadly the case for most real life suicides. Usually, the signs aren't obvious until it's too late. I commend Brianna for depicting both suicidal individuals and the grieving loved ones they leave behind in a way that is equally sensitive and realistic.
It's important to note, though, that as sad as this book and its subject matter is, it isn't all depressing - in fact, this book didn't feel at all depressing to me. Sad, of course, but not depressing, if that makes sense. Another review worded this better than I think I could, so I'm going to include some quotes from it: "I think my qualms come mostly from never feeling like I properly grieved. I was led down a path towards, "Life goes on, and it WILL still be beautiful, just different with a hole." The relationships Shiloh has around her are amazingly supportive and loving, which is also refreshing in books with heavy subject matter", and also "This book felt overwhelmingly, "It will be ok, it's not your fault," vs a book rife with all the stages of grief for the reader. I, again, really admire how the author DID choose to write the stages of grief with the beautiful moments of finding joy again. But I want to feel deeply, and every time I felt close to straight ugly crying, I was given a moment of happiness." This is exactly how I felt reading this. I went into this book expecting a heartwrenching, messy read - something along the lines of Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak, although that does deal with a completely different set of issues - but this felt neater and much more emotional for the characters than for me as the reader. I felt like an outsider watching in on Shiloh's life, rather than inside the story experiencing the emotions with her. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing; I just would've personally preferred something a bit heavier. I do think, though, that this slightly more surface-level approach is probably a better option for younger readers or somebody who is going through a loss of their own, as I think Where The Sun Won't Shine is much less likely to be triggering than something more Speak-esque.
Onto the characters. Across the board, I felt their development was quite slow, but by the end of the book, most of them were well-rounded and realistic. Alex was easily my favourite, and I really liked his friendship with Shiloh. I did feel that both Nathan and Carson could've used more development, though; I felt they had no real personalities other than being in the band, and were pretty much interchangeable. While I understand they play less of an active role in the story than their bandmates Alex, Braxton, and Dalton, they were still present in almost every chapter, and for that reason, I think further development would've absolutely been justified.
Another criticism I have is that I felt the overall pacing of this book was a bit too slow, particularly in the "Before" chapters: I really hate to use this word, but I found some of them a little boring, and feel they easily could've been cut without affecting the plot. I understand that Brianna wanted to tell the story of everything that happened in the build up to Braxton's death, but I think this could've been better done by having the "Before" chapters simply show highlights (or lowlights) of Shiloh and Braxton's relationship over the years, rather than every detail of events like the Contained Chaos tour, which started to feel a bit repetitive after a while. At 308 pages (Kindle edition), this book is of average length for its genre, but I think it could've benefitted from being 30-50 pages shorter. Having said that, though, I felt the pacing with the "After" chapters was much better, and I don't remember feeling bored at all while reading those.
Overall, this is a book I would recommend to anyone who's looking for a sensitive depiction of suicide, grief, and the other issues surrounding these topics. It is well-written and easy to understand, with likeable characters. It impressively manages to be both realistic and hopeful, rather than depressing, which I think could be helpful to many young people - this is definitely a book I would put in a high school library if I were a teacher. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of Brianna's books in the near future.
July 8, 2023
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆: 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕, 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒈𝒊𝒏. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏. -Shiloh Green
Oh my god, how do I start? Seriously how do I start?? This book has me so much in tears and I had stopped crying for a while but now I'm writing this review I can't hold my tears back they just fall again.. This book is everything for me and I'm so in love with everything that happened in it. Just one thing I at first didn't like it, the way the chapters were told Before and After which means back and forth between the past and the present. But as I went deeper, I began to realize that this way actually made sense and I really enjoyed it. I've lost my words I don't know how to describe my feelings towards every scene that happened. Shiloh and Braxton, they're absolutely the dream couple of everyone!!! I love them a lot as well as the other characters. Alex, Grace, Nathan, Carson, Peyton, Dalton, and Zane. They all took important parts in this story. I won't spoil anything about this book because I want you guys to find it out by yourself. After all, trust me you won't ever regret it!!! I won't ever forget this book in my entire life, this was such a heartbreaking journey yet so worth my time. Just prepare your heart for this story as you'll find onions everywhere especially the ending tho😭❤️.
This book has taught me a lesson. The one that from now on I won't ever forget it. Hear me out, I believe that each of us has someone special in our life, it doesn't need to be one person, it could be anyone that we love such as our parents, siblings, friends, or anyone. As long as they are still here with you be sure to always check on them. No matter how normal they might seem from the outside but we could never know what they might hide from us. Let them know that you love them every single day and make them feel safe with your presence and that they're not alone in this world. Always remind them about that. So when there will be time for them to go, you wouldn't be trapped in so much guilt and regret for not being there for them.
Thank you to the author for bringing this story and @hazels_booktours for the opportunity to read this wonderful book! Definitely 5⭐🤩
Oh my god, how do I start? Seriously how do I start?? This book has me so much in tears and I had stopped crying for a while but now I'm writing this review I can't hold my tears back they just fall again.. This book is everything for me and I'm so in love with everything that happened in it. Just one thing I at first didn't like it, the way the chapters were told Before and After which means back and forth between the past and the present. But as I went deeper, I began to realize that this way actually made sense and I really enjoyed it. I've lost my words I don't know how to describe my feelings towards every scene that happened. Shiloh and Braxton, they're absolutely the dream couple of everyone!!! I love them a lot as well as the other characters. Alex, Grace, Nathan, Carson, Peyton, Dalton, and Zane. They all took important parts in this story. I won't spoil anything about this book because I want you guys to find it out by yourself. After all, trust me you won't ever regret it!!! I won't ever forget this book in my entire life, this was such a heartbreaking journey yet so worth my time. Just prepare your heart for this story as you'll find onions everywhere especially the ending tho😭❤️.
This book has taught me a lesson. The one that from now on I won't ever forget it. Hear me out, I believe that each of us has someone special in our life, it doesn't need to be one person, it could be anyone that we love such as our parents, siblings, friends, or anyone. As long as they are still here with you be sure to always check on them. No matter how normal they might seem from the outside but we could never know what they might hide from us. Let them know that you love them every single day and make them feel safe with your presence and that they're not alone in this world. Always remind them about that. So when there will be time for them to go, you wouldn't be trapped in so much guilt and regret for not being there for them.
Thank you to the author for bringing this story and @hazels_booktours for the opportunity to read this wonderful book! Definitely 5⭐🤩
February 19, 2024
Beautiful, Complex Read
I needed to take a breather after this book. It's thought provoking, as a book about such a deeply emotional subject should be. Truthfully, I still don't know how to articulate everything.
It was deeply emotional. The voice was also very appropriate for being YA and from the perspective of a 17 year old. I also adored the main cast—some of the others left a little to be desired, but they also weren't MCs.
Where my conflict comes from, is because I think this book is much more geared towards the afterwards, which I actually admire. I think my qualms come mostly from never feeling like I properly grieved. I was led down a path towards, "Life goes on, and it WILL still be beautiful, just different with a hole." The relationships Shiloh has around her are amazingly supportive and loving, which is also refreshing in books with heavy subject matter.
It was just... a little more shallow than I wanted.
It's still an incredible book. 5 stars easily. It just depends what you want. Again, this book felt overwhelmingly, "It will be ok, it's not your fault," vs a book rife with all the stages of grief for the reader. I, again, really admire how the author DID choose to write the stages of grief with the beautiful moments of finding joy again. I lean towards the first. I want to feel deeply, and everytime I felt close to straight ugly crying, I was given a moment of happiness. That's admirable. When I was given that moment of grief, I felt stronger along with Shiloh.
Hopefully that makes sense. Anyone who is afraid of the subject matter should know that's the tone I got from this, and it's an incredible book for giving a sense of that light at the end of the overwhelming grief. That's an important hole to fill. I've always wanted books like that.
I needed to take a breather after this book. It's thought provoking, as a book about such a deeply emotional subject should be. Truthfully, I still don't know how to articulate everything.
It was deeply emotional. The voice was also very appropriate for being YA and from the perspective of a 17 year old. I also adored the main cast—some of the others left a little to be desired, but they also weren't MCs.
Where my conflict comes from, is because I think this book is much more geared towards the afterwards, which I actually admire. I think my qualms come mostly from never feeling like I properly grieved. I was led down a path towards, "Life goes on, and it WILL still be beautiful, just different with a hole." The relationships Shiloh has around her are amazingly supportive and loving, which is also refreshing in books with heavy subject matter.
It was just... a little more shallow than I wanted.
It's still an incredible book. 5 stars easily. It just depends what you want. Again, this book felt overwhelmingly, "It will be ok, it's not your fault," vs a book rife with all the stages of grief for the reader. I, again, really admire how the author DID choose to write the stages of grief with the beautiful moments of finding joy again. I lean towards the first. I want to feel deeply, and everytime I felt close to straight ugly crying, I was given a moment of happiness. That's admirable. When I was given that moment of grief, I felt stronger along with Shiloh.
Hopefully that makes sense. Anyone who is afraid of the subject matter should know that's the tone I got from this, and it's an incredible book for giving a sense of that light at the end of the overwhelming grief. That's an important hole to fill. I've always wanted books like that.
July 6, 2023
*Contains Spoilers*
Shiloh’s life was as near perfect as possible – she was a competition-winning dancer, school was going well and her boyfriend’s band, Contained Chaos, was on their way to fame. Then, unexpectedly, her boyfriend takes his own life, and Shiloh and the band must now somehow move forward with their lives.
This was incredibly well written, with amazing characterisations and some gut-wrenching moments. The chapters flipped between the ‘before’ and ‘after’, which was an incredibly effective writing device. As someone who has lost a loved one in this way, reading it did feel like ripping a plaster off a not quite healed wound. There were parts that felt like my own thoughts and feelings were reflected back at me - particularly in the unexpectedness of it all.
This is a heartbreaking book about resilience and hope that explored a challenging subject well. Perhaps it was, at times, a little bit too hopeful. No-one anticipates how soul-destroying the guilt from losing someone in that way can be - while the characters struggled with their grief, it ultimately left little effect on their lives in the grand scheme of things. However, grief from this is messy and destructive. I have seen friends whose lives have completely changed trajectory, and not in a good way, due to losing someone in this way. However, if this book ultimately helps someone grieving by showing that they can get through this, then that will always be good.
Thank you to @hazels_booktours and @briannanorthauthor for a copy of this book, which I received in exchange for an honest review.
4 / 5
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, the Samaritans are here to listen. They are open 24/7 here in the UK.
Shiloh’s life was as near perfect as possible – she was a competition-winning dancer, school was going well and her boyfriend’s band, Contained Chaos, was on their way to fame. Then, unexpectedly, her boyfriend takes his own life, and Shiloh and the band must now somehow move forward with their lives.
This was incredibly well written, with amazing characterisations and some gut-wrenching moments. The chapters flipped between the ‘before’ and ‘after’, which was an incredibly effective writing device. As someone who has lost a loved one in this way, reading it did feel like ripping a plaster off a not quite healed wound. There were parts that felt like my own thoughts and feelings were reflected back at me - particularly in the unexpectedness of it all.
This is a heartbreaking book about resilience and hope that explored a challenging subject well. Perhaps it was, at times, a little bit too hopeful. No-one anticipates how soul-destroying the guilt from losing someone in that way can be - while the characters struggled with their grief, it ultimately left little effect on their lives in the grand scheme of things. However, grief from this is messy and destructive. I have seen friends whose lives have completely changed trajectory, and not in a good way, due to losing someone in this way. However, if this book ultimately helps someone grieving by showing that they can get through this, then that will always be good.
Thank you to @hazels_booktours and @briannanorthauthor for a copy of this book, which I received in exchange for an honest review.
4 / 5
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, the Samaritans are here to listen. They are open 24/7 here in the UK.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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February 5, 2024I enjoyed this YA love story between Shiloh and Braxton who go through trials and tribulations until his suicide, leaving behind a hole in Shiloh's heart due to unanswered questions.
I like the way the story shifts from Before the incident to After the incident, which gives great context and shows the subtle signals of Braxton's intense mood changes and difficulty coping with stress. In my opinion, he might have had an undiagnosed mental health condition, such as Bipolar Disorder without being medicated.
Shiloh's friends and Braxton's friends; the latter being a part of a band, support each other as they struggle with the question about how Braxton could do this to his friends and family. It's the unknown and the why he committed such an act that leaves those left behind grieving, particularly when Braxton had always spoken about his future with Shiloh.
Shiloh works through her grief, especially when a new band member and drummer, Dalton replaces Braxton in the band. The band receives hateful comments on Youtube, given the early timeline of replacing their friend after two months.
I love the diversity of characters and the way they attempt to get on with their lives. Shiloh reaches a period of anger and hate towards Braxton, given he had committed this tragic act without thought to how it would effect his friends and family.
The complex topic of suicide, and the real-life tragedies surrounding this theme is a battle, especially when the risk of further suicide by loved ones can be high.
I loved the cute romance between Braxton's friend, Alex who fell for Shiloh's friend, Grace. It is nice to have some cute moments amidst a tragic incident.
It was nice to get a glimpse of Shiloh and Braxton’s relationship before the incident too. I highly recommend this story.
I like the way the story shifts from Before the incident to After the incident, which gives great context and shows the subtle signals of Braxton's intense mood changes and difficulty coping with stress. In my opinion, he might have had an undiagnosed mental health condition, such as Bipolar Disorder without being medicated.
Shiloh's friends and Braxton's friends; the latter being a part of a band, support each other as they struggle with the question about how Braxton could do this to his friends and family. It's the unknown and the why he committed such an act that leaves those left behind grieving, particularly when Braxton had always spoken about his future with Shiloh.
Shiloh works through her grief, especially when a new band member and drummer, Dalton replaces Braxton in the band. The band receives hateful comments on Youtube, given the early timeline of replacing their friend after two months.
I love the diversity of characters and the way they attempt to get on with their lives. Shiloh reaches a period of anger and hate towards Braxton, given he had committed this tragic act without thought to how it would effect his friends and family.
The complex topic of suicide, and the real-life tragedies surrounding this theme is a battle, especially when the risk of further suicide by loved ones can be high.
I loved the cute romance between Braxton's friend, Alex who fell for Shiloh's friend, Grace. It is nice to have some cute moments amidst a tragic incident.
It was nice to get a glimpse of Shiloh and Braxton’s relationship before the incident too. I highly recommend this story.
October 8, 2025
Holy cow. Brianna North. Next time, I'm going to need a box of Kleenex with my eBook purchase, okay?
This book left me beautifully broken. As a person who seeks out emotive, griefy fiction, it was absolutely my cup of tea. It very much reminded me of other YA novels I've read and held close to my heart as a teen--think Laurie Halse Anderson, Alice Sebold, etc. But truth be told, at 33, I still gravitate toward this genre. I think many adults do because YA/NA fiction is always relevant. That sticky, messy middle of figuring who you are and how you fit in the world...does that ever go away? Aren't we always "coming of age" with every transition?
And grief. Goodness, does Brianna North understand grief. Our FMC, Shiloh, doesn't grieve in a linear manner. Her emotions are big, bold, and sometimes, red-hot with anger. I'm so glad North didn't shy away from the complexity of it all.
Aside from the highly entertaining narrative--what happened to Braxton and how Shiloh can forge ahead despite the tragic events--I applaud this story for stepping into a difficult arena. What I'm referring to is the Tough Topics for Teens space. It's easy to criticize a piece like this for being "too much" for teens. Maybe it's because I'm the author of a similar work for a similar audience, but we underestimate teens when we generalize what they can and cannot handle. When we say they can't handle death... That's ignorance. Anyone, at any age, can die or have someone they love die. Simple as that. Where the Sun Won't Shine is as compelling a read as it is an act of bravery on the author's part.
Thank you, Brianna North, for putting your story out there!
This book left me beautifully broken. As a person who seeks out emotive, griefy fiction, it was absolutely my cup of tea. It very much reminded me of other YA novels I've read and held close to my heart as a teen--think Laurie Halse Anderson, Alice Sebold, etc. But truth be told, at 33, I still gravitate toward this genre. I think many adults do because YA/NA fiction is always relevant. That sticky, messy middle of figuring who you are and how you fit in the world...does that ever go away? Aren't we always "coming of age" with every transition?
And grief. Goodness, does Brianna North understand grief. Our FMC, Shiloh, doesn't grieve in a linear manner. Her emotions are big, bold, and sometimes, red-hot with anger. I'm so glad North didn't shy away from the complexity of it all.
Aside from the highly entertaining narrative--what happened to Braxton and how Shiloh can forge ahead despite the tragic events--I applaud this story for stepping into a difficult arena. What I'm referring to is the Tough Topics for Teens space. It's easy to criticize a piece like this for being "too much" for teens. Maybe it's because I'm the author of a similar work for a similar audience, but we underestimate teens when we generalize what they can and cannot handle. When we say they can't handle death... That's ignorance. Anyone, at any age, can die or have someone they love die. Simple as that. Where the Sun Won't Shine is as compelling a read as it is an act of bravery on the author's part.
Thank you, Brianna North, for putting your story out there!
July 4, 2023
I really want to say that this was a lovely, easy read - and it really was, but the topics explored were so difficult and heart-breaking, that it feels wrong to say this.
Shiloh and Braxton were happy. They had plans for a future together and their whole lives mapped out and looking bright.
Until Braxton commits suicide....and life for Shiloh stops too.
It was great to see back into the life that they had together before. But it was clear to see (for us) that Braxton was struggling.
This was a brilliant example of how the little things add up and how these aren't so noticeable to those on the outside without a great deal of communication.
My heart broke for Shiloh trying to navigate life alone after having made so many plans, then finding herself having to re-learn how to move forward along a new route.
I loved that Shiloh was able to express her feelings and worries to her close friends and family - even Braxton's family - where she took the strength and support that helped her to develop but also helped them to also allow Braxton to live on within them, yet still find happiness.
This was such a heartwarming story with an important message for anyone grieving or coming to terms with loss - but also for those struggling with any kind of mental health issues. It's so, so important to seek help in whatever form - because as difficult as it seems to you, most people would be happy to be there to help and support.
Shiloh and Braxton were happy. They had plans for a future together and their whole lives mapped out and looking bright.
Until Braxton commits suicide....and life for Shiloh stops too.
It was great to see back into the life that they had together before. But it was clear to see (for us) that Braxton was struggling.
This was a brilliant example of how the little things add up and how these aren't so noticeable to those on the outside without a great deal of communication.
My heart broke for Shiloh trying to navigate life alone after having made so many plans, then finding herself having to re-learn how to move forward along a new route.
I loved that Shiloh was able to express her feelings and worries to her close friends and family - even Braxton's family - where she took the strength and support that helped her to develop but also helped them to also allow Braxton to live on within them, yet still find happiness.
This was such a heartwarming story with an important message for anyone grieving or coming to terms with loss - but also for those struggling with any kind of mental health issues. It's so, so important to seek help in whatever form - because as difficult as it seems to you, most people would be happy to be there to help and support.
July 3, 2023
This book was heartbreaking. The way the author wrote these challenging and all encompassing emotions makes the reader feel the emotions along with the characters. I liked how the story progressed through the main character, Shiloh’s process of grieving and moving forward with her life. This is definitely a YA book and focused a lot on day to day high school life. This emotional book is well written and a good book to read to explore hard feelings of losing a loved one.
May 6, 2025
Suicide is such a sensitive topic to try to write about and this author did it beautifully! It takes a lot for a book to bring me to tears and I would say that happened with this book at least four times. It gave a good hard look into the consequences suicide could have on family, friends and loved ones. It did a good job of not glorifying anything and felt incredibly raw, honest and real. I gave this book 4/5 stars and would recommend!
April 26, 2023
Heartbreaking and heart warming, and overall a wonderful young adult fiction book about coming to terms with losing a loved one. Accepting our grief, accepting that sometimes we do not get the answers we desire, accepting that the person can live on in our hearts but our lives must move forward too.
This book really explores how things can go from perfect to terrible all within a moment. How everything can appear fine and then bam, we're no longer standing and life will never quite be the same.
We read about before Braxton's death and after. What I thought worked well was the little signs that things were not quite right for him, his anger outbursts, his worrying etc. However he didn't seem much different to anyone else having a moment of stress, so you could see how this build up of difficulty for him may have been easily overlooked. This highlights the importance of conversation, about reminding people it is okay to reach out, some people will never know what is going on until you tell them....and most people will be understanding, but if not, there are places available to reach out to (end of this book states some which was nice to see)
The after bits were sad and tough, but also heart warming. Reading Shiloh accept and embrace her difficult emotions (whether that be sadness or anger), discuss this with her friends and family and find a way for Braxton to live within her heart while finding happiness for herself and others. It was refreshing how lovely everyone was, especially Braxton's family staying on the scene after he was gone.
A wonderful, important tale with great character development. Despite it's difficult topic, it's an easy read that keeps you absorbed. It's sad but sweet and there are some funny moments too. I wish I had this book at seventeen.
I look forward to reading more by this author.
This book really explores how things can go from perfect to terrible all within a moment. How everything can appear fine and then bam, we're no longer standing and life will never quite be the same.
We read about before Braxton's death and after. What I thought worked well was the little signs that things were not quite right for him, his anger outbursts, his worrying etc. However he didn't seem much different to anyone else having a moment of stress, so you could see how this build up of difficulty for him may have been easily overlooked. This highlights the importance of conversation, about reminding people it is okay to reach out, some people will never know what is going on until you tell them....and most people will be understanding, but if not, there are places available to reach out to (end of this book states some which was nice to see)
The after bits were sad and tough, but also heart warming. Reading Shiloh accept and embrace her difficult emotions (whether that be sadness or anger), discuss this with her friends and family and find a way for Braxton to live within her heart while finding happiness for herself and others. It was refreshing how lovely everyone was, especially Braxton's family staying on the scene after he was gone.
A wonderful, important tale with great character development. Despite it's difficult topic, it's an easy read that keeps you absorbed. It's sad but sweet and there are some funny moments too. I wish I had this book at seventeen.
I look forward to reading more by this author.
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