Once We Were Family: In Nazi Germany

by Nancy Saling Graham

ONCE WE WERE FAMILY
(In Nazi Germany)
NOVEL

D. Knittle 4.8 stars
Once We Were Family describes a German girl's struggle to survive the horrors of life in Nazi Germany and her post-war adult why she did nothing to stop the nightmare. Graham's clear writing, well drawn characters and unique insight make her novel both heart-warming and bone-chilling. This book puts the reader in the hearts and minds of Germans who compromised with Hitler's regime and lived to regret it.

4.0 out of 5 stars The other side
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 21 March 2023
A very good historical fiction book, showing the other side of WW II, i.e., the not-Nazi Germans, without undermining the holocaust. A good read overall.

CM Fruitvale
•I read your book. It was very good. It didn't feel like fiction and I loved the ending!

Berlin, 1935.
Thirteen-year-old Annalise belongs to a middle-class family of six children. Unaware of the evils of Nazism until it is too late, her parents struggle to keep the family together while facing daily threats of betrayal.
The atmosphere is thick with mistrust. Annalise loses her best friend and childhood crush to the encroaching specter of bigotry and Nazism. Her brother Hans is forced to join the Nazi youth and prepare for war. The two youngest children, twins, are indoctrinated by the Nazis and become a threat as informers. Her oldest sister flirts with young Gestapo agents, exposing the family to further scrutiny.
Annalise grows into womanhood during Hitler's reign. She will leave her childhood home. Will she find love? Will she find resolution from the sins of her past and start a new life?
This is a story of hope in the face of evil, that asks the question of how people can function in a society that turns so barbaric. How does a society embrace a monster and then, cannot, or is unwilling to, fight for decency? For Annalise, is there redemption after all?

256 pages, Paperback

Published January 3, 2023

Reviews

[Kate Wooddell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nancy Graham's fictionalized account of a young German girl's coming-of-age during the rise of Nazism and the hardships she faces in the lead-up to and throughout WWII, including the brutal Russian occupation of Berlin, is delivered in a clear and compelling voice. Annalise, the central character, is wise beyond her years, a child who shuns frivolity in exchange for philosophical discussions with her professor father. Together they set the tone as members of a German family in opposition to growing Aryan propaganda and the increasing dangers the Nazi regime poses even to citizens not marked as “undesirable”. But not all the siblings share Annalise's cautious sympathies.

This book briefly chronicles the role each member plays. From 1933 when Germany became a one-party state under Nazism, through the build up to war and the creation of civilian "mobile killing units" to aid the Wehrmacht, we see the differing roles two of her brothers have thrust upon them while the youngest siblings are indoctrinated in school and required to join the Hitler Youth and League of German Girls. Graham explores the range of emotions, particularly fear, as Annalise deals with the choices made by each family member and the emotional cost of those choices. Annalise is positioned in this book as both the conscience and, at times, the therapist for her siblings. The reader will also cautiously herald her bravery as she sets out on a rescue mission into eastern Berlin in 1945 while the notorious Red Army advances. This is the most riveting part of Once We Were Family, but it does not come without SV trigger warnings.

The narrator's voice is consistent in her beliefs and her sense that everyone, including her German neighbors, her lost Jewish friend and classmates, and the Nazi sympathizers in her own family are ALL victims of this horrific ideology. Even though Annalise comes across as the healer, intending everyone in her orbit to find inner peace, (self) forgiveness, and a renewed degree of self-respect, I admit to struggling mightily with what I believe most readers will see as a false equivalence. Not everyone deserves a happy ending and Annalise must face the fact that for some people, despite her love for them, the bill will come due.

As a history buff, I feel that two books exist within the covers of Once We Were Family. The first half is indeed historical fiction developed through a series of chronologically accurate vignettes. This family of German "bystanders", however, receives the singular spotlight while the atrocities being waged all around them are barely noted. Terrible events like Kristallnacht or the German invasion of Poland are glossed over if even mentioned at all. Almost exactly at the midpoint of this book we come to a short chapter dated April 30- May 2, 1945. Not a word, at this point, about the suicide of Adolf Hitler. After May 2nd and the focus on the Russian invasion of East Berlin, the narrative jumps to July. Nowhere was the German surrender or VE Day (May 8, 1945) even mentioned, although it is accurately referenced that the Americans took control of her section of Berlin on July 4th.
I had a hard time showing sympathy for Berliners struggling to find enough food after the occupation, even as they exit movie theaters (sometimes retching in grief and mortification) having watched de-Nazification films showing the liberation of the camps and actions of the death squads. It is difficult to imagine that many people being unaware of the heinous actions, the genocide, being perpetrated in their names. Only at that point in her narrative does Graham have one character say, "Why did we let this happen? Why didn't the German citizens stand up and do more?" For all the wisdom she shows throughout the book, Annalise's only thought is, "I couldn't answer." And therein lies the difficulty of writing a story from the German point of view. I can only recall Hannah Arendt’s treatise on “the banality of evil.” Even if only 39% of the population voted for Hitler in 1933, his rise to power feeding on the self-centered German belief in their own victimization after WWI is never laid out for examination. Yet the book itself echoes that justification by focusing on the post-war deprivations and struggles of Berliners with only an occasional nod to the tens of millions of humans -- displaced or imprisoned by Nazi aggression -- seeking refuge after the war. If this book is to be viewed as a work of historical fiction, I feel that there must be greater context for the suffering and shame her German characters demonstrate.

From here, however, the novel becomes a work of historical romance. Annalise meets a series of soldiers who all treat her in different ways: Russian, Latvian, American. We do learn the struggles many Germans faced in the effort to leave a place they could no longer call home, though relegated to the end of unspeakably long lines of other Displaced Persons on whose behalf Annalise now works. But the focus here is largely on how to get HER, a new German war bride, into a country that has forbidden her immigration status.

The remainder of this other half follows Annalise into a new Cinderella life and waltzes lightly across the next few decades. We see the dispersal and slow demise of her natal family as well as personal losses even in her wonderful new world. Then we get even more romance, perhaps a requisite scene with a sexy younger man -- a cross between James Dean and a young Bobby Kennedy -- before the even more magical ending. Throughout the next two decades these romances are sprinkled with references to her still discernable German accent, shunning by her American neighbors, and prejudicial attitudes openly displayed by some of her academic colleagues and students in the college courses she teaches on Eastern European history and international affairs -- a context in which one would hope people know better.

These insertions, of course, are to remind us of the book's main purpose: to open our minds, if not exactly our hearts, to the plight -- if not before, most assuredly during and after the war -- of German citizens who did not consciously choose Aryan philosophy, the Nazi cause, or believe in the Final Solution to the Jewish Question. However, even a fairy tale ending could not erase the unease I felt while reading about the vindication of German bystanders.

For anyone reading without my degree of historical inquiry, Once We Were Family in Nazi Germany will be an easy read. The date-by-date chapters are short enough to create momentum and tension. The work, as noted above, is part coming-of-age story, part apologia, and part romance. I have already addressed my concerns about the second item, but as a coming-of-age story, I would give this book a 5-star rating. I am not a reader of romance works, so I am hard-pressed to rate the quality this book’s second half, but, young Annalise as well as her older self are thoroughly endearing characters and make a gifted delivery system for Nancy Graham's first novel.

[Carolyn Scarcella · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book I have finished reading is called “Once we were family” written by Nancy Saling Graham. It is a fictional story and yes, atrocities did happen 80/85 years ago. I did enjoy the story, especially the ending. I have questioned myself about how our grandfathers, grandmothers have been through this whole thing before we were born. How many people can function in a society that turns so barbarism. How does a society embrace a monster and then, cannot, or is willing to, fight for decency? The author has written a beautifully detailed, good characters and unique insight to make her book that is heartwarming and bone-chilling. Annalise was only 13 years old when the ww2 started, she was a middle class family of 6. She was unaware of the evils of Nazism until it is too late. Her parents struggled to keep the family together facing daily threats of betrayal. Annalise, struggle to survive the horrors of life in Nazi German and her post-war adult soul- searching why did nothing to stop the nightmare. As a result, is there any redemption for her after all? Did she have a happy ending? You can decide.

[Lexi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once We Were Family is a well-thought-out Historical Fiction that follows the life of a German woman named Annalise. We follow Annalise through her life as she and her family are subjected to the Nazi regime and World War II. Annalise tells her story and that of her family while they are living in Berlin. We see the initial unrest with the German people and follow the unrest as it develops into the takeover by the Nazi regime. The story gives varying points of view from the characters and the differing opinions of the current state of Germany.

As we follow Annalise through her life, we see the lasting effects that World War II inflicted on the many people who lived during this time. The portrayals of how the War affected those were incredibly insightful and heart-wrenching. While Annalise’s personal story gives hope to those struggling with self-loathing and self-harm thoughts, it seemingly provides a very realistic insight into the minds of those struggling and the inability to heal from those wounds.

The author does an amazing job of accurately portraying the expected real-life emotions of someone in Annalise's position. While the story has a dark context, there are many heartwarming situations. During my reading, I experienced a wide range of emotions and found myself crying several times. There are some triggering situations such as sexual assault, suicide, and the death of children. Historical Fiction is always insightful and can be inspiring to readers. I believe the Author did a thorough job of elaborating the viewpoints of the characters and how the propaganda during the war truly altered the minds of many.

The writing itself felt short and disconnected when reading. There were many short sentences rather than more flowing, descriptive ones. While I did not complete any fact-checking on dates or historical events, I recognized the various places and understood the storyline of events that took place in the story.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once We Were Family - Nancy Graham

The novel begins in pre-war Germany, around 1933. The family consist of Father who teaches at the university, Mother who is a seamstress, and their six children-the narrator Analise, who is the second to the oldest brother, her younger brother with whom she is closest, sister and twins who are born during the rise of the Nazi's. It is a tightknit family, well-to-do. Before the war, the neighborhood consists of different nationalities, shops owned by Jews as well, interacting with each other. Because she is a good listener, Father invites Analise into his study nightly where he explains to her the ways of the world in general, and emphasizes the importance of family

As the rise of the Nazi regime begins to alter their community, they notice people are disappearing, Jews are harassed, books are banned, stores that once belonged to their Jewish neighbors are closed and people taken away. His colleagues at the university lose their jobs. Father brings home books that have been banned and hides them. Analise recounts the changes passively until she must act to save family members.

Graham does a good job portraying the close-knit family and the impact the war has not only on the family but the neighbors and others as well. One feels the tension in the family as each member struggles to justify what is happening around them. Father continues to teach at the college though he's cautious. Keeping his family together is his priority. However, once the war is over and Analise marries and moves to the U.S., the tension and interests that held the reader captive is mitigated by the ease with which Analise's life moves forward.

[Abdul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Experiences the horror of Hitler's reign

(Once We Were Family in Nazi Germany) by Nancy Saling Graham is a drama that spots the lives of a middle-class family navigating the tumultuous environment of Nazi Germany.

Through the eyes of Annalise, a thirteen-year-old girl whose diaries span from her childhood into middle age, readers are given a rare glimpse into the daily realities, struggles, and moral dilemmas faced by ordinary German families during Hitler's reign.

The story of the Aryan family, neither heroes nor villains, simply trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy and decency in an increasingly brutal society, is both heartbreaking and illuminating.

Graham asks profound questions about responsibility, guilt, and the possibility of redemption, exploring how individuals and families can seek forgiveness and rebuild their lives after being complicit, willingly or not, in a regime of terror.

(Once We Were Family) is a historical novel and emotional journey that will resonate with readers seeking a nuanced exploration of life in Nazi Germany.

[K E · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sound story - particularly last twenty per cent so hang on

It is a story that you hang on with and indulge somewhat
Though in the first person and the lead character is German, the language is Americanised throwing you out of the story. So, we have family members playing soccer, there being a local pub, characters figuring things out and the use of OK, people being in wartime mode, distances in Berlin measured in blocks, children being in grade school, men wearing slacks, and people who write me. One must also look through the use of overselling rather than showing inaccuracies in the description of the German interwar economy.

From a story structure point of view, the initial eighty per cent is a build for the finale but has no interim story telling rewards. The finale is then a rather rushed execution.

The book is an ode to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring power of love and family in the darkest of times. The essence is a good story that is a worthy read but needs a story and line edit.

[Courtney Leifert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Coming of age in Hitler’s Germany presented many challenges for Analisa and her siblings. Her father, a professor, and mother, a seamstress, both being against the Nazi regime meant that Analisa and her siblings had to navigate the chasm between the expectation of their peers and their parents. As the young children were fed Nazi propaganda at school, the family had to walk a fine line to keep each other safe while trying to ensure that empathy and kindness remained at the heart of their daily life. Survival was the primary goal which meant hard decisions had to be made. It was war which meant the Klaus family did not have the luxury to stand on principal.
After the war, Analisa and her family had to deal with the shame of what Germany had done along with the vehement feelings that were blanketed towards all Germans. Juggling the decisions that were made to keep themselves and their family safe with the information that was presented after the end of the Nazi propaganda reign proved to be a difficult task for all the Klaus family. This story follows Analisa in her journey to come to terms with everything she witnessed within the war. It shows the reality of the gradual fall of empathetic society and how it was accomplished. What seems very black and white from the outside can oftentimes be far more complex. Once We Were Family requires the reader to contemplate the difficult question of what could have been done in a country where any empathetic or sympathetic actions could mean death for you or your family.

Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: The journal like style of the writing shows the maturation of the main character, Analisa. Graham does a great job of making the reader see how the lack of information and predisposition with trying to survive could make most citizens ignorant of what Hitler was accomplishing both in Germany and throughout Europe and Asia. The Klaus family is very relatable, and Analisa’s introspection gives a much-needed look into the psychology of war.
Cons: The story is choppy and not well developed in places. The ending seems a little abrupt but does round out the story.

[Steve Lindahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once We Were Family is the story of a family living in Berlin as the Hitler regime rose to power. It's told from the viewpoint of Annalise, one daughter of Axel Klaus. Annalise and her father sympathize with the people who are being abused and sometimes help them, but not enough to ease their guilt.

Annalise’s siblings represent a range of responses to their authoritarian government, from resisting quietly, while working with the Nazis to the younger ones who are fully indoctrinated in school. Annalise also has one sister who is only concerned with her appearance and marriage potential.

About halfway through the story, Germany loses and Hitler takes his own life in the bunker. Now the plot becomes the story of a young German woman living in West Berlin. There are still some horrible situations to get through, but there is also hope.

[Jessica Sheppard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancy Graham's 'Once We Were Family' is a compelling and emotionally resonant historical novel that brings to life the story of Annalise, a young German girl, during the rise and fall of Nazism. The book's strengths lie in its gripping narrative, realistic portrayal of characters, and the vivid development of secondary characters, all of which create an immersive experience that feels more like a personal memoir than fiction. While the ending is abrupt and leaves a desire for more exploration of the Holocaust's broader impacts, the novel remains a captivating read. I see the potential for this to be made into a movie one day.

[Latia Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book

I enjoyed reading this book. It reminds me of a war turned love story- movie; A German girl’s family divided by pre-Nazi and post-Nazi beliefs/stance. It’s a fight for survival, keeping your humanity and dignity, remembering the values taught to you, versus the younger generation who were conditioned with different ideologies. I enjoyed getting a glance into what it was like living through the war while trying to continue your education and daily life activities, surviving the atrocities, and ending in love despite it all.

[Danielle Bassi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not the typical hero story we are used to reading about WWII. 'Once We Were Family: In Nazi Germany' tells the story of a very ordinary family and their struggles to avoid getting involved in the acts of the German Nazis. I appreciated the point of view used and how the author highlights the consequences of that period on their lives throughout their existence. It offers a different perspective of the war which is not often explored. I recommend it.

[Erica Simone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad Story

It's an interesting point of view that I admit I've never considered. The true victims of Nazism is obvious, but this is a look behind the curtain at other players. There were the eager supporters and the silent ones whose silence was their tacit support. The author tried to present a balanced view but only underscores that there really is no answer for why this all happened. Man's cruelty to man just is.

[Katherine Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tragic

This was well written and easy to read. X rated material, extremely sad and scary what these people experienced. There are several chapters telling different people's personal stories as well. My heart breaks for all the people who had to suffer so greatly at the hands of such evil in the world. Difficult to read for sure but very informative about the tragic history of Hitlers Germany and how its people suffered.

[Suse Wilcox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intriguing historical fiction

The horrific history of Nazi Germany needs to be kept at the forefront of discussion so that, as in this story, people are not lulled into unthinkable actions. The author tells a riveting tale about a fictional family during WWII. The journal style of writing lacks depth and development. The emphasis on romance near the end appears out of place.

[Barbara Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a heartfelt and well-researched fictional story of a German family trying to survive in a regime that allowed for no freedoms. It is a very realistic look at what life had been like there and gives another side to the story that is often overlooked.

[Nyron Bovell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Romance

The style is engaging, and each has a twist. Despite what occurs within chapters, they build the overall story. Additionally, each arc within the novel adds a new layer to the protagonist.

[Robin Runyan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not sure I’d completely agree that this is WWII historical fiction.

[W. Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exquisite

While a work of fiction, this masterfully crafted novel will capture you in the stark reality of the writing. A book I questioned even starting, I could not put it down.

[Victoria Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Graham is a fantastic storyteller. An author that can weave through difficult moments and suspenseful memories is truly wonderful to find. I cried some and laughed some and had to sit through some heart-wrenching moments with these characters. If you’re wanting a truly accurate depiction of life before, during, and after WWII as a German with the research beautifully woven throughout, this is the book for you.

[Nancy Saling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brillian portrayal of a family caught in the web of Nazism and their reaction to the continual pressure to support the evil of the reign of Hitler.