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Why Not Me
Lindsay Ireland enjoyed an idyllic childhood. She spent her summers in Vermont with her movie-star relatives where she rode horses, played detective with her cousin, and drank ice-cold lemonade. After the summer months, Lindsay returned to her loving family where her biggest worry was getting good grades in school.
Then one day Lindsay noticed blood in her stool. Suddenly instead of carefree afternoons swimming in a lake or dressing her Barbie doll, Lindsay spent months in a sterile hospital room receiving intravenous fluids and, eventually, a life-saving ostomy surgery. At age eleven, Lindsay was diagnosed with her first autoimmune disease, and her life was never the same.
In this candid memoir, Lindsay evolves from a girl living with an autoimmune disease into a young woman struggling to love a body that has continuously failed her, and, eventually, into a mother and wife who has fought to make herself visible despite her invisible illnesses.
Then one day Lindsay noticed blood in her stool. Suddenly instead of carefree afternoons swimming in a lake or dressing her Barbie doll, Lindsay spent months in a sterile hospital room receiving intravenous fluids and, eventually, a life-saving ostomy surgery. At age eleven, Lindsay was diagnosed with her first autoimmune disease, and her life was never the same.
In this candid memoir, Lindsay evolves from a girl living with an autoimmune disease into a young woman struggling to love a body that has continuously failed her, and, eventually, into a mother and wife who has fought to make herself visible despite her invisible illnesses.
278 pages, Paperback
Published December 28, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
February 4, 2023
Moments before going under the knife for the sixth time, Lindsay, by now in her late 20s, recollects a brief encounter with her anesthesiologist.
“I was naked, except for a pale blue hospital gown…hooked up to an IV and monitoring tubes, and left alone with the anesthesiologist for a briefing. For no medical reason, he decided to pull the sheet and gown back to reveal my left breast while he told me he would be the one putting me to sleep.”
It was a grotesque scene, which left me horrified and enraged. But the patient – the victim - breezily dismisses the “unpleasant situation”, reminding her readers “I had bigger concerns to consider…”
Like survival.
Why Not Me is written with such colour and clarity that readers can easily feel what it’s like to idle a summer away in the Vermont woods, breathe in the ocean air off of Malibu, or be mooned in Manhattan. Part of this book’s genius is the ride the author takes us on. (And, as an aside, the ride she takes on a horse named Zurich nears virtual reality, the words jump off the page.)
But we are not always in lockstep with Lindsay, as the brutal encounter with the anesthesiologist, or more precisely the way the author processed it, reveals.
Then again, how could we? She was forced to grow up faster than most of us. The author talks about a “childhood surgeon” with the kind of affection we would save for our favourite teddy bear.
Other times, we seem several steps ahead of the writer. Readers begin to recognize Lindsay’s inner strength, around the time of her first operation. Even as she scoffs at a Chaplin’s notion that “God only gives these challenges to those who can handle them”, we know he might been on to something.
But, for me, the moments most out of sync rest with Lindsay alone. She could tap into vast reserves of empathy and acceptance for others who have fallen sick or faced their own demons. But she rarely granted herself the same courtesy. When Lindsay looked in the mirror, she could only see a nightmarish figure, described in disturbing detail, looking back at her.
“When awful mishaps happen,” experts say, “it can take a lot of effort to get over the recollections, the feelings, and the sensation of simply not having the option to have a sense of security.”
The search for that sense of security is a thread expertly woven throughout Lindsay’s story.
I wondered if it would all unravel. After all, the odds of a ‘happily ever after’ decrease when people experience three negative encounters in their youth according to Andrea Roberts, a Harvard researcher. The dangers brought on by trauma are just that much higher. And so I found with every turn of the page, the tension tightened.
But this is not a dark book. Far from it. Even in the most difficult moments, there is a melody in the narrative, harmony in the moments and the rhythm of galloping heart. Family and friends (and horses) keep her afloat. But she alone swims against fierce currents to find safe harbor. Or as she puts it: “I feel stronger if I confront my pain head-on and dive into my emotional whirlpool, usually confident that I will emerge swimming. It’s the only way I don’t drown.”
We don’t have to be Dr Gaze, Lindsay’s beloved therapist, to know the scars she writes about are not just skin deep. But a turning point happens shortly after Lindsay finds love and partnership with Chris. On successive dates she speaks about her MS and then her “bag.” He later asked why it was harder for her to talk about the latter, after all MS represented a more life threatening condition.
“Intellectually, I agreed with him, but emotionally I had not yet come to terms with the fact that people wouldn’t reject me because of my bag. More importantly, if they did, I didn’t know how I would handle it.”
There was radical acceptance. First from Chris. Then ultimately from herself. The search for that sense of security could finally cease.
Maybe that’s why Lindsay included a quote from Stephanie Bennett, “Life is tough my darling, but so are you…
“I was naked, except for a pale blue hospital gown…hooked up to an IV and monitoring tubes, and left alone with the anesthesiologist for a briefing. For no medical reason, he decided to pull the sheet and gown back to reveal my left breast while he told me he would be the one putting me to sleep.”
It was a grotesque scene, which left me horrified and enraged. But the patient – the victim - breezily dismisses the “unpleasant situation”, reminding her readers “I had bigger concerns to consider…”
Like survival.
Why Not Me is written with such colour and clarity that readers can easily feel what it’s like to idle a summer away in the Vermont woods, breathe in the ocean air off of Malibu, or be mooned in Manhattan. Part of this book’s genius is the ride the author takes us on. (And, as an aside, the ride she takes on a horse named Zurich nears virtual reality, the words jump off the page.)
But we are not always in lockstep with Lindsay, as the brutal encounter with the anesthesiologist, or more precisely the way the author processed it, reveals.
Then again, how could we? She was forced to grow up faster than most of us. The author talks about a “childhood surgeon” with the kind of affection we would save for our favourite teddy bear.
Other times, we seem several steps ahead of the writer. Readers begin to recognize Lindsay’s inner strength, around the time of her first operation. Even as she scoffs at a Chaplin’s notion that “God only gives these challenges to those who can handle them”, we know he might been on to something.
But, for me, the moments most out of sync rest with Lindsay alone. She could tap into vast reserves of empathy and acceptance for others who have fallen sick or faced their own demons. But she rarely granted herself the same courtesy. When Lindsay looked in the mirror, she could only see a nightmarish figure, described in disturbing detail, looking back at her.
“When awful mishaps happen,” experts say, “it can take a lot of effort to get over the recollections, the feelings, and the sensation of simply not having the option to have a sense of security.”
The search for that sense of security is a thread expertly woven throughout Lindsay’s story.
I wondered if it would all unravel. After all, the odds of a ‘happily ever after’ decrease when people experience three negative encounters in their youth according to Andrea Roberts, a Harvard researcher. The dangers brought on by trauma are just that much higher. And so I found with every turn of the page, the tension tightened.
But this is not a dark book. Far from it. Even in the most difficult moments, there is a melody in the narrative, harmony in the moments and the rhythm of galloping heart. Family and friends (and horses) keep her afloat. But she alone swims against fierce currents to find safe harbor. Or as she puts it: “I feel stronger if I confront my pain head-on and dive into my emotional whirlpool, usually confident that I will emerge swimming. It’s the only way I don’t drown.”
We don’t have to be Dr Gaze, Lindsay’s beloved therapist, to know the scars she writes about are not just skin deep. But a turning point happens shortly after Lindsay finds love and partnership with Chris. On successive dates she speaks about her MS and then her “bag.” He later asked why it was harder for her to talk about the latter, after all MS represented a more life threatening condition.
“Intellectually, I agreed with him, but emotionally I had not yet come to terms with the fact that people wouldn’t reject me because of my bag. More importantly, if they did, I didn’t know how I would handle it.”
There was radical acceptance. First from Chris. Then ultimately from herself. The search for that sense of security could finally cease.
Maybe that’s why Lindsay included a quote from Stephanie Bennett, “Life is tough my darling, but so are you…
January 26, 2023
Lindsay is a friend of a friend, so of course, I am inclined to write a favorable review. That said, and speaking as someone what has also published a memoir, this is a fine book. Lindsay does not minimize or make excuses for the privileges she has experienced in life, and there are many. Nor does she offer easy answers to explain some of the very (very) difficult realities she has had to both endure and make peace with. The book radiates gratitude but is not self-congratulatory. And best of all, it is also fascinating. One does not have to be really rich, or famous, or an internet influencer to live a life worth examining. Lindsay demonstrates great facility with making the mundane seem important while making the important worth reflecting on. She's a real person here, struggling with, and usually overcoming, problems and challenges most of us can identify with. It is immensely satisfying to be allowed to look in on the intimate details of another's life with the candor, wisdom, and fine writing that Lindsay has on display here. Kudos.
February 23, 2023
“Why not me?” is a remarkable and deeply personal memoir by Lindsay Ireland. While the context for the book is a cascade of serious health issues starting in childhood, this is a book about resilience in the face of life’s many challenges and the power of perspective. “There are many things we can’t control in life, but we can choose how we perceive things.” Lindsay illuminates the importance of choosing, living and savouring life in the face of adversity. She also demonstrates a tremendous empathy, starting in early childhood and resulting from her first diagnosis - one of several gifts from her journey. This is a beautifully written book that will inspire, lift and inform all of us. I was deeply touched by this book - I highly recommend it.
February 20, 2023
A brave revelation of the often raw details of a challenging personal journey. Thank you for sharing Lindsay! Your strength and grit are inspirational.
January 31, 2023
Engrossing read. Everything one wants in an autobiography and more: ups, downs and wisdom about how to tackle either with humour and equanimity. It's so beautifully readable and relatable. Highly recommend.
March 24, 2023
Lindsay awesomely puts the power of perspective in to perspective!
This book demonstrates the triumph of the human spirit and what can be accomplished when you are surrounded by love and support.
I am in awe of how Lindsay describes her life in Vermont, it's like I'm right there with her playing detective and I can feel the water of the pond and how soft the horses are to touch. And then, the book is so well written, I am jolted in to a sterile hospital room and I can hear the beeping of the machines and smell the medicine and I cringe at what that must have been like for an 11-year-old little girl. Absolutely terrifying.
As I turned each page, I also felt guilty at times; I honestly felt like I snuck in to Lindsay's bedroom and read her private diary. Her thoughts and fears and love for her family oozes from the pages and my heart ached for what she went through. And as the years go by, you find yourself routing for her and proud of her for "overcoming" such a monumental life crisis and learning a new normal - only to be kicked down once again with the crushing news of her MS diagnosis. Many a folk would throw in the towel, give up and just be miserable and live with a victim mentality. But not Lindsay; Lindsay's sheer will to make her life a life worth living, a life full of joy and happiness is truly inspiring. The book's title couldn't be more appropriate because 99% of people would cry "Why me?", and maybe Lindsay did just that, even for a moment but what's so amazing about this book, is that it teaches us; those who are in perfect health and those who are not, that it's how you look at things, how you deal with the cards you are dealt; it all comes down to the power of perspective and what that means to you.
This book is a teachable moment and not just for those who are living with an auto-immune disease. It's an inspirational memoir that can change your life or someone's you love. Worth the read and Why Not Me is a top shelf book in my bookcase! Thank you Lindsay.
This book demonstrates the triumph of the human spirit and what can be accomplished when you are surrounded by love and support.
I am in awe of how Lindsay describes her life in Vermont, it's like I'm right there with her playing detective and I can feel the water of the pond and how soft the horses are to touch. And then, the book is so well written, I am jolted in to a sterile hospital room and I can hear the beeping of the machines and smell the medicine and I cringe at what that must have been like for an 11-year-old little girl. Absolutely terrifying.
As I turned each page, I also felt guilty at times; I honestly felt like I snuck in to Lindsay's bedroom and read her private diary. Her thoughts and fears and love for her family oozes from the pages and my heart ached for what she went through. And as the years go by, you find yourself routing for her and proud of her for "overcoming" such a monumental life crisis and learning a new normal - only to be kicked down once again with the crushing news of her MS diagnosis. Many a folk would throw in the towel, give up and just be miserable and live with a victim mentality. But not Lindsay; Lindsay's sheer will to make her life a life worth living, a life full of joy and happiness is truly inspiring. The book's title couldn't be more appropriate because 99% of people would cry "Why me?", and maybe Lindsay did just that, even for a moment but what's so amazing about this book, is that it teaches us; those who are in perfect health and those who are not, that it's how you look at things, how you deal with the cards you are dealt; it all comes down to the power of perspective and what that means to you.
This book is a teachable moment and not just for those who are living with an auto-immune disease. It's an inspirational memoir that can change your life or someone's you love. Worth the read and Why Not Me is a top shelf book in my bookcase! Thank you Lindsay.
April 24, 2023
Generally, I choose not to read memoirs but listen to them on audiobook - mostly because I find it hard to “get into” the stories without the guidance of the author. A friend recommended Why Not Me? by local writer @lindsay_likestowrite and after the first few chapters, I was all-in. When I think of beach reads, I don’t normally think of books detailing autoimmune diseases but I read all about this author facing one health crisis after another while on a beach in Malibu (a bewildering coincidence - read it and you’ll know) and could not put it down. Within the pages of her memoir, I learned about ulcerative colitis, ostomies, and the myriad of symptoms (including the silent ones) of MS. I also learned how to be a supportive friend to someone who is experiencing a life-changing diagnosis. Lindsay Ireland rips the band-aid off - she’s fully exposed in her book, leaving it all on the pages. She’s an inspiration and educator while at the same time creatively writing her story in such an engrossing way, that as the reader you can’t help but feel you’ve grown up right alongside her.
April 10, 2023
Lindsay is a dear friend and as much as I knew that she had some major challenges with her health as a child and into her adulthood, after reading her book, I really understood how those challenges shaped who she is today. She is one of the most incredible and resilient women I know. I have always had such incredible respect for how she has viewed and managed her journey. This was an eye opening read for me as it filled in some of the gaps of her story that I wasn't aware of. She speaks from her heart, it is so REAL! Thank you Lins for sharing your story with the world, we are all better off for it!
March 27, 2023
This memoir tells the story of Lindsay Ireland's journey of illness and health. Her story is raw, insightful, compassionate, sad, witty and warm. She writes in a very intimate way, which allows us to be a part of her full experience. Nothing is sugar coated. We can all benefit from each other's perspectives and the author's account brings light to the critical bond of mental and physical health, wellness and hope.
March 12, 2023
This is a true story of Lindsay’s life experience. I have never read a book with so much passion. Nice to see such a strong supported family connection.
Lindsay is a very strong women and wants to share you’re not alone out there in sickness. She wakes up with a positive outlook on life everyday, her strength will inspire everyone. I enjoyed reading, “why not me” and would recommend it.
Lindsay is a very strong women and wants to share you’re not alone out there in sickness. She wakes up with a positive outlook on life everyday, her strength will inspire everyone. I enjoyed reading, “why not me” and would recommend it.
May 18, 2023
Why Not Me is a well written memoir.I found it to be authentic and extremely inspiring.The way how Lindsay choronicles her story of enjoying a privileged childhood lifestyle ,to be suddenly inturrupted by a litany of Illnesses was bitter sweet for me.However, she does an awesome job of using simplicity of words, vivid details and picturesques sceneries to help compensate for her Illnesses.
What is most admirable about this memoir is Lindsay 's overall attitude to her condition.The challenges she experienced living with her first autoimmune disease and then MS and infertility must have been burdensome.But Lindsay's resillence coupled with strong family support made a huge difference in her overall response to these challenges.
Even though she experience disappoinment with her recovery at times,it was never to the point of throwing in the towel.For me this was a most powerful lesson in endurance and the indomitable spirit of will power.
At times when reading it,I felt sad for her but was overjoyed when she met Chris who loved her and all her vulnerabilities.
I highly recommended reading this memoir.
What is most admirable about this memoir is Lindsay 's overall attitude to her condition.The challenges she experienced living with her first autoimmune disease and then MS and infertility must have been burdensome.But Lindsay's resillence coupled with strong family support made a huge difference in her overall response to these challenges.
Even though she experience disappoinment with her recovery at times,it was never to the point of throwing in the towel.For me this was a most powerful lesson in endurance and the indomitable spirit of will power.
At times when reading it,I felt sad for her but was overjoyed when she met Chris who loved her and all her vulnerabilities.
I highly recommended reading this memoir.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 28, 2023
An honest and inspiring account of a life lived with challenges most people do not have to face. Lindsay had a loving family to support and protect her as she faced numerous and daunting surgeries from a young age. Her continuing outlook on life gives her resilience and grit to navigate adulthood, divorce and newly found love as she raises her son not knowing what lies ahead. A must read for anyone struggling to come to terms with multiple illnesses and for those seeking to understand how to use the power of perspective to live a meaningful life.
August 18, 2025
Lindsay Ireland's story is both tough and inspiring. From her battle with childhood and adult disease, to her wondrous summers in Vermont with her famous Uncle Charlie & Auntie Jill, riding horses and playing detective with her cousins her book is candid & real.
It's really special to gain some insight into Charlie & Jill through the memories & stories that Lindsay was bountiful & generous enough to share.
I love this book, and would recommend it to anyone & everyone - Five Star Rating from me .
It's really special to gain some insight into Charlie & Jill through the memories & stories that Lindsay was bountiful & generous enough to share.
I love this book, and would recommend it to anyone & everyone - Five Star Rating from me .
March 2, 2023
What a compelling and beautifully written memoir. Lindsay is courageous, resilient and sounds like someone I'd like to know. Readers will be reminded not to take their health for granted, but should serious health issues arise, will take comfort in the fact life can still be very much enjoyed and appreciated. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found it difficult to put down!
March 12, 2023
“Why Not Me” is an honest and authentic memoir about overcoming adversity. Although Lindsay faced many physical challenges through her illnesses, the true power of her story is her resilience. Lindsay refused to give up or see herself as a victim. Her story is reminder that the one superpower we all have is our mindset.
May 16, 2023
An excellent read!!!
A manual that deals with coping skills for Illnesses without getting bitter.
A manual that deals with coping skills for Illnesses without getting bitter.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 13, 2023
An immensely personal story about health, family, courage and perspective. Lindsay gets personal and brings you into her life as she overcomes one health issue after another. She uses every tool in the book from modern medicine, diet, yoga, psychiatry, family and most importantly, perspective to find ways to stay one step ahead.
The story is a juxtaposition of vivid descriptions of her health challenges and scenes of family gatherings which included famous movie stars. You can’t help but wanting to read more.
The story is a juxtaposition of vivid descriptions of her health challenges and scenes of family gatherings which included famous movie stars. You can’t help but wanting to read more.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews