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Hand on My Heart: A Canadian Doctor's Awakening in Afghanistan
Canadian physician Maureen Mayhew returns to her time spent working in Taliban-occupied Afghanistan in an honest and heartfelt examination of our own cultural assumptions around gender, tradition, and belief.
When Médecins sans Frontières (MSF) offered to send Maureen Mayhew to Taliban-occupied Afghanistan, she refused. Fearing she would be forced to give up her independence to preserve her safety, it was the last place on earth she wanted to volunteer medical expertise. But in April 2000, wrapped in unfamiliar clothing, she stepped out onto the Afghan dust for the first time. Little did she know that she would return to this country seven more times over the span of a decade, learn to converse in the regional Afghan language of Dari, and develop lasting relationships with women, men—even members of the Taliban, and families through her work as a physician. Mayhew juxtaposes her experiences of Afghanistan as a foreign, female physician with her personal journey of questioning who she is as a professional woman in the 21st century. As she travels from one remote outpost to another, sharing cups of tea in secret, muddling through language barriers, and brokering trust with her patients, she finds her Western beliefs challenged and makes sense of her own struggles with gender roles. With curiosity and tenderness, Mayhew reflects on moments of disorientation, fear, wonder, and joy.
When Médecins sans Frontières (MSF) offered to send Maureen Mayhew to Taliban-occupied Afghanistan, she refused. Fearing she would be forced to give up her independence to preserve her safety, it was the last place on earth she wanted to volunteer medical expertise. But in April 2000, wrapped in unfamiliar clothing, she stepped out onto the Afghan dust for the first time. Little did she know that she would return to this country seven more times over the span of a decade, learn to converse in the regional Afghan language of Dari, and develop lasting relationships with women, men—even members of the Taliban, and families through her work as a physician. Mayhew juxtaposes her experiences of Afghanistan as a foreign, female physician with her personal journey of questioning who she is as a professional woman in the 21st century. As she travels from one remote outpost to another, sharing cups of tea in secret, muddling through language barriers, and brokering trust with her patients, she finds her Western beliefs challenged and makes sense of her own struggles with gender roles. With curiosity and tenderness, Mayhew reflects on moments of disorientation, fear, wonder, and joy.
248 pages, Paperback
Published May 23, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
November 20, 2023
Fascinating memoir that sensitively contrasts Western ways with Afghan ways. It's not about a doctor's experiences, but about a woman's experiences, highlighting the relationships with local people, language struggles, cultural misunderstandings, fear, danger and loneliness. Very well written and edited to include everything I needed and nothing more.
March 17, 2023
This book transported me to rural Afghanistan. It opened my eyes to a completely different way of life than ours in the “West”. Dr. Mayhew - a Canadian doctor working with Médecins Sans Frontières - writes of her time spent in visits over many years in Afghanistan, and intertwines her accounts with her own challenges of being a strong woman trying to find herself. I so enjoyed my nightly visits to the country through the pages of this book, particularly her early experiences in Afghanistan and friendship with Kareem. I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting a glimpse into life in a country that is rarely portrayed, especially with such honesty.
December 18, 2023
A very good book from a perspective we would never see. It is very interesting how she managed a totally different cultured. Very interesting book. Well written
September 21, 2023
What a fantastic book! Not my normal reading. My sister lent it to me. Wonderful personal accounting. And fascinating insights into a place I had no real previous knowledge of. It also helped me to personally decide to learn more about conflicts in my own part of the world with a much more open mind.
Thanks Maureen. I’m glad you wrote the book.
Thanks Maureen. I’m glad you wrote the book.
September 13, 2023
Fascinating and very personal look at what it is like on the front lines of these life saving groups.
May 11, 2023
Maureen was able to share with me an experience I will never have, in such a way that was honest, respectful and open to the culture of a part of the world that is often skewed by the media. It makes me want to understand more about the ongoing concerns about life in Afghanistan.
May 29, 2023
Very interesting read. I really liked the stories while I was reading them, and her photographs were amazing. I just found that the book was a little hard to want to pick up and read, but once I got reading it, it was really good.
February 25, 2025
Update: 63% through the book + attended a talk with the author
Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a talk with Dr. Mayhew, which provided valuable context around her experiences and her responses to them. Her energy and openness in conversation were striking—qualities that, unfortunately, seem to have been diminished during the editing process. This realization has led me to increase my rating by one star, recognizing that some of the book’s limitations may stem from editorial choices rather than the author's perspective itself.
As I continue reading, I see more layers emerging—particularly regarding Dr. Mayhew’s growing self-awareness and evolving perception of her environment. My intuition tells me I’ll be updating my rating again before I finish. However, I stand by my belief that a direct conversation with Dr. Mayhew offers a much deeper, more nuanced understanding of her experiences than can be fairly captured in a short book.
Regardless of my final rating, I want to acknowledge my respect for her decision to work with MSF in Afghanistan during uncertain, challenging, and sometimes dangerous times. That choice, in and of itself, demonstrates courage.
Original review:
I'm still reading the book. However, at 13% completion I have felt visceral discomfort at the creative descriptions of Afghan culture in dehumanizing and condescending terms—comparing Afghan tea to “gnat’s pee”, an Afghan dish to human skin, and using equally dismissive language for Afghan people.
Yet, curiously, the same imagination is not used to describe Vegemite, an Australian spread that is—objectively—one of the most viscerally unpleasant foods known to humankind. I feel this is a missed opportunity. Allow me to help.
Visual Descriptions:
- A black tar spill scraped off the bottom of a burnt frying pan.
- The oily residue left behind after an engine leak.
- The congealed filth at the bottom of an ancient soy sauce bottle.
- The sludge found in a clogged gutter after a heavy rain.
- A compost bin’s final tears before it’s emptied.
Taste & Texture Descriptions:
- The essence of despair, bottled and fermented.
- A fermented salt brick melted into a paste.
- As if someone boiled gym socks and reduced the liquid into a spread.
- Like licking the sweat off a marathon runner’s back—but somehow saltier.
Smell Descriptions:
- A cross between stale beer, dead yeast, and broken dreams.
- The ghost of a decomposing loaf of bread, reincarnated in paste form.
Funny how the creativity only seems to flow when targeting Afghan culture and not when describing a glob of fermented salt and regret. A glaring double standard.
Will continue to update progress.
Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a talk with Dr. Mayhew, which provided valuable context around her experiences and her responses to them. Her energy and openness in conversation were striking—qualities that, unfortunately, seem to have been diminished during the editing process. This realization has led me to increase my rating by one star, recognizing that some of the book’s limitations may stem from editorial choices rather than the author's perspective itself.
As I continue reading, I see more layers emerging—particularly regarding Dr. Mayhew’s growing self-awareness and evolving perception of her environment. My intuition tells me I’ll be updating my rating again before I finish. However, I stand by my belief that a direct conversation with Dr. Mayhew offers a much deeper, more nuanced understanding of her experiences than can be fairly captured in a short book.
Regardless of my final rating, I want to acknowledge my respect for her decision to work with MSF in Afghanistan during uncertain, challenging, and sometimes dangerous times. That choice, in and of itself, demonstrates courage.
Original review:
I'm still reading the book. However, at 13% completion I have felt visceral discomfort at the creative descriptions of Afghan culture in dehumanizing and condescending terms—comparing Afghan tea to “gnat’s pee”, an Afghan dish to human skin, and using equally dismissive language for Afghan people.
Yet, curiously, the same imagination is not used to describe Vegemite, an Australian spread that is—objectively—one of the most viscerally unpleasant foods known to humankind. I feel this is a missed opportunity. Allow me to help.
Visual Descriptions:
- A black tar spill scraped off the bottom of a burnt frying pan.
- The oily residue left behind after an engine leak.
- The congealed filth at the bottom of an ancient soy sauce bottle.
- The sludge found in a clogged gutter after a heavy rain.
- A compost bin’s final tears before it’s emptied.
Taste & Texture Descriptions:
- The essence of despair, bottled and fermented.
- A fermented salt brick melted into a paste.
- As if someone boiled gym socks and reduced the liquid into a spread.
- Like licking the sweat off a marathon runner’s back—but somehow saltier.
Smell Descriptions:
- A cross between stale beer, dead yeast, and broken dreams.
- The ghost of a decomposing loaf of bread, reincarnated in paste form.
Funny how the creativity only seems to flow when targeting Afghan culture and not when describing a glob of fermented salt and regret. A glaring double standard.
Will continue to update progress.
April 14, 2023
This is a damn good book. Maureen Mayhew's adventures in Afghanistan had me chuckling, tearing up, horrified, mesmerized and in awe at her resilience and open-hearted embrace of a different culture. She portrays the good, the bad, the rough, the heartwarming, the awkward, the constant vigilance of a woman around men not used to being around unrelated women, tamping down sexuality, longing for freedom, wanting independence and connection. ( like the Ferron song Our Purpose Here says “it’s a woman’s dream this autonomy where the lines connect and the point stays free.”) Her writing is honest and open about her struggles with adapting and chafing at the cultural restrictions for women. Maureen worked in Afghanistan during Taliban rule and afterwards (before the current Taliban take over). Her photos are throughout the book and on the cover. Reading her book also gave me some insight into the difficult balancing act of practising medicine in a different culture and without ready access to technological support. Hand on My Heart is a damn good read.
October 11, 2023
I love your book.
Memories of my time in Afghanistan, although brief flooded back to me. The people, the food, the customs and the country seem not to have changed much in 50+ years. The wars and the Taliban seem to have set the country backwards. In Herat, we were transported back from the ancient minarets to our Russian built hotel by horse and caught, which very much resembled that on the cover of your book.
Your book, Hand on My Heart is a treasure.
Memories of my time in Afghanistan, although brief flooded back to me. The people, the food, the customs and the country seem not to have changed much in 50+ years. The wars and the Taliban seem to have set the country backwards. In Herat, we were transported back from the ancient minarets to our Russian built hotel by horse and caught, which very much resembled that on the cover of your book.
Your book, Hand on My Heart is a treasure.
February 7, 2024
Fascinating account of a female Canadian doctor’s experiences in Afghanistan, first in the 1990s and later after 9/11. What makes it so good is that it’s very personal; primarily an account of her efforts to understand and accept a quite different culture, one with an attitude to women we find disturbing, through developing personal relationships and actually learning the language.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews