Cohabiting Couples & Cold Feet: A Practical Marriage-Preparation Guide for Clergy

by Robert W. Prichard

Clergy today are faced with a profound shift in American attitudes about marriage that affects the role they play with each couple. Our society at large today has strikingly different attitudes from those of just fifty years ago. Couples today are more likely to have cohabited before marriage, more likely to have children born out of wedlock, more likely to be married outside of the church, and more likely to be previously divorced than were their counterparts of the mid-20th century. This new pastoral resource, grounded in real-life examples, will be an important new pastoral tool for clergy and seminarians in the Episcopal Church and other mainline Protestant churches. It is organized chronologically, beginning with how to engage the couple making a first-time contact with a member of the clergy. It next unpacks the marriage rite itself, within contemporary and traditional viewpoints. Finally, the book addresses the critically important application of long-term support for the couple throughout their married lives.

141 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Rev. House · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought "Cohabiting Couples & Cold Feet" hoping to get more on counseling cohabiting couples - and did not get that. (If that's what you're looking for, try "Living Together: A Guide to Counseling Unmarried Couples, by Jeff VanGoethem) So it did not meet my hopes. But what it does present is done well.

Prichard runs briefly through the current marriage scene from a Pastor's point of view, starting with questions churches face relating to weddings, premarital conversations (he doesn't like the term "counseling"), counseling couples about sex and money, and then the basics of running a rehearsal, planning a service, and being involved at the reception. He doesn't talk about any of it in depth, but rather provides a brief sketch of each topic.

Some things that were very helpful to me included his treatment of how churches should utilize their websites to help couples investigating a place to be married, his comments on betrothal - which I found quite exciting, and his practical discussion about whether a pastor ought to attend the wedding reception. Good stuff, obviously based on extensive experience.

Prichard is an Episcopalian, which shows through in every pore of his book - and a lot of how you respond to this book will depend on how well you relate to Episcopalianism. As an Evangelical, I found his minimal treatment of Scripture unhelpful, and his refusal to take a stand on moral issues is frustrating. For me, Scripture is not just something a pastor must come to grips with, it is the source of our ability to teach on marriage and sexuality.

Still, I learned from this book, and am grateful to have read it.

[John Kennedy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some interesting anecdotes of how unprepared some couples are for matrimony, but not a lot of nuts and bolts advice for how so many people now have a non-traditional approach to marriage.