Gravedigger's Daughter: Growing Up Rural

by Debra R King

Gravedigger's Daughter - Growing up Rural is a collection of short stories and essays based on actual events in the 1950-1970s in northern west-central Wisconsin. Little Elk Creek is a tightly knit community of Norwegian immigrant farm families who assist one another at harvest time and share their skills so all could succeed. Debra Raye King shares her remembrances from an era when her father was the local gravedigger at the local church cemetery and it wasn't unusual for a daughter to help shovel. Moms were mostly homemakers, dads wage earners, and the children attended Farmers Union Camp, 4H, and the Luther League when not in school or helping with chores. In this small community, Debbi and her twin Sue were the only students in first grade at the one-room eight-grade schoolhouse two miles away from home. Shopping was done in Menomonie where highlights of the trip included a visit to the Farmers Store, a meal out at the Dew Drop Inn, and guessing in winter when the clunker would fall through the ice. Relish the aroma of fresh baked bread and pies, share giggles and games with the cousins and neighborhood kids, and feel the wind in your hair at the top of the windmil. Experience the grit, heartache, joy, and innocence of growing up rural with these tales of one family farm in Wisconsin. The Wisconsin Writers Association is proud to help keep these memories alive as part of our mission to provide a structured fellowship of amateur and professional writers who support and assist fellow writers with all phases, types, and categories of writing. We strongly encourage documentation of personal, family, regional, and cultural stories both fiction and nonfiction, and offer informational educational services to writers and to the general public. Find more at www.WiWrite.org.

336 pages, Paperback

Published November 1, 2022

Reviews

[Dan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book in a bookstore while visiting Menomonie after asking the bookseller to recommend a book with local flavor that might put me into the local context. This book is clearly a labor of love by the author; it is also a gift to the future in capturing a snapshot of time and space detailing how things were in her corner of the world. There is a sliding scale of where a person may land in their enjoyment of this book. Elements of the scale could include being born in the 50's, being female, growing up on a farm, heavily participating in 4H, being a cultural Lutheran, living in Wisconsin, of Norwegian heritage, and probably some other things. To the extent those things are part of your makeup, you may feel more akin to and enjoy the stories in this book. To the extent that these elements do not describe you, you may feel less enjoyment in going through the book.

None of those elements are part of my life; however, I still found many things to enjoy and respect in this book. This is a memoir and not written by a professional writer; it is a collection of essays/stories written apparently over a period of time, as several aspects are repeated in the book, as if being told for the first time. There are some contradictions such as her parents being married on Labor Day weekend earlier in the book, and being married in May later in the book. As the twin sisters were born the following April, this was a small interesting detail. There are times where the writing is very pedestrian to the point of tedious boredom, maybe like a very dull textbook only less interesting, and there are also many opportunities where humor could have been injected and was not, which could have made it more enjoyable. However, the author was true to her own voice, and one get the impression of a very earnest, hard working and straightforward woman who does her duty without complaint.

While some things dragged, those were smaller parts of the book, whereas the overall arc of the book was without question an illumination of a blessed life lived, with some of the chapters such as My Father's Hands, Farmer Store Friday, Corn For College, among others, being utterly profound in many ways and gifts to posterity for recording them. This twin sister worked outside with her dad while her twin worked inside with her mom; she bailed hay, she drove tractor, she milked cows, she picked corn, she was and is tough and smart and kind and I have all the respect in the world for a story like this. Not necessarily the most exciting read per se, but the overall chronicle will age well and give future generations even less attuned than me a view into how life was lived, in this bygone context.

At the end she says how the 100,000 small dairy farms that existed in the 1960's Wisconsin are replaced today with less than 7000 farms, many industrial sized. It's good to have memoirs like this, and kind of amazing how close in time things have changed.

[K.M. Waldvogel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gravedigger’s Daughter: Growing Up Rural is a beautifully written story of life in rural Wisconsin. The author, Debra Raye King, recalls life on the family farm and shares her memories of helping her father who was in charge of taking care of the nearby cemetery. King’s words display the respect and caring that she learned from this important work.

She captures the carefree joy she experienced as she and her twin sister played games in the hay mow with visiting cousins and friends. My heart warmed as she explained how the older kids always watched out for those younger and made sure to keep them safe. It was their responsibility and they took it seriously. They learned life lessons about helping others.

I particularly enjoyed the scenes explaining the family visits to the local general store. It brought back memories of my own as she described purchasing penny candy or 45s of some of the popular singers. So many memories that brought so much happiness to youngsters.

But life on the farm was not all play. King explains how she and her sister had chores they were expected to complete. The two girls had different personalities and different interests. While the author preferred to work outside tending to the animals and working the fields, her sister often helped with indoor work.

Gravedigger’s Daughter: Growing Up Rural is a touching visit to the past that wraps the reader in memories, family traditions, simple pleasures, and love of life.

[Erik Rostad · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was such a neat experience to read this book. I just saw the author, Debra, at my grandparent's funeral. I'm a first cousin to Debra, once removed (she is my dad's first cousin). Debra grew up on a farm in Wisconsin that I visited as a child. I met her father and mother and could picture some of the scenes she described on her farm. It was so interesting learning about Debra's family, seeing my own family members mentioned in the book (father, grandparents, aunt), and learning about the farming life of Norwegian immigrants living in Wisconsin. It was interesting to learn that Debra's great-grandfather moved to Wisconsin from Norway in 1858 to almost immediately begin serving in the army for four years during the Civil War.

The descriptions of rural farming life, community engagement, and Debra's own hopes and dreams were very interesting. This is how many in my family line lived. It was a life of hard work, deep family connection, joy, appreciation, and rootedness. I loved reading this book.

[Barbara M. Britton · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Wisconsinite whose husband descends from Norwegian immigrants, this was a delightful read. I also served in a farming community and the remembrances of dairy farming and 4-H brought a smile to my face.

King's childhood in a rural farming community resonated with me. I also lived next to a cemetery and could visualize what King noted when she helped her father take care of the property.

King is detailed in her memoir which I liked. Her thoughts on being a twin were insightful. I enjoyed seeing how her life changed over the years as she grew older and left the community of her childhood.

A bonus were the recipes in the back of the book. I have seen some at share-a-dish dinners.

Thanks to King for a fun walk down memory lane about a life that remains in the past, but the lessons live on in future generations.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loving memoir of growing up rural in the 1950s and 60 Wisconsin.