Find Your People : Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

by Jennie Alen

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The author of Get Out of Your Head offers practical solutions for creating true community, the kind that’s crucial to our mental and spiritual health.“My dear friend Jennie Allen shows us how to make true emotional connections with the right people so that our authentic relationships can be healthy for all.”—Lysa TerKeurst, author of It’s Not Supposed to Be This WayIn a world that’s both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we’re often tempted to do life alone, whether because we’re so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being. We are meant to live known and loved. But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we’re experiencing an epidemic of loneliness.In Find Your People, bestselling author Jennie Allen draws on fascinating insights from science and history, timeless biblical truth, and vulnerable stories from her own life to help • overcome the barriers to making new friends and learn to initiate with easy-to-follow steps• find simple ways to press through awkward to get to authentic in conversations• understand how conflict can strengthen relationships rather than destroy them• identify the type of friend you are and the types of friends you need• learn the five practical ingredients you need to have the type of friends you’ve always longed forYou were created to play, engage, adventure, and explore—with others. In Find Your People, you’ll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community. Because while the ache of loneliness is real, it doesn’t have to be your reality.

205 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 19, 2022

Reviews

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would love to rate higher, but the clear white-knight entitlement, holier-than-thou mentality & unashamed privilege that seeps through the pages gave even the best parts of this book a bitter aftertaste. Also, contextually seems like at least one of the author’s kids was adopted through one of those white Christian high-horse legal human trafficking situations.

There’s some good substance about stepping out of your comfort zone to build community & some practical suggestions which, if they had been consistent in tone throughout, would have made for a great read. But the sour undertones prevent me from recommending this one.

[Michael Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wrestled with how to rate this. On the one hand, Allen writes in a contemporary and informal style that’s trendy and easy to read, and she writes it well. Yet I found myself desiring a touch more scripture throughout. Heavily anecdotal, and bordering on self-help/inspirational at times, there are large sections of the book that would have benefitted from more of God’s Word. Yet there are sections that are steeped in scripture reference after scripture reference.

It’s a good read, a quick read, and a good call to connect deeper than we often do in western society. The target audience is primarily women, but men would benefit from the conversation as well, especially if they find themselves feeling lonely.

[Gabby · Rating 2 out of 5]

Full disclosure - I didn’t realize how heavy the emphasis on the Bible would be in this book. It’s very hard to focus on the substance and practical application of some of the tips if you are not 100% bought in to the religious aspects that Allen shares (which are MANY).

There were a few solid points about where to find new friends if you are feeling disconnected. Overall, most of the tips felt out of touch. For example, the idea of just stopping by unannounced at someone’s house, including someone you’re just getting to know (or someone doing that to me) feels really odd and likely would be unwelcome.

Anyway, I wouldn’t recommend this book, but would instead direct someone looking for a good (secular) read on this topic to “Friendship in the Age of Loneliness” by Adam Smiley.

[Christina Hogewoning · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have enjoyed this more if there hadn’t been references to church or jesus.

[Joanie R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Transformative!

[Kinsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many wonderful little nuggets in this book. I will definitely be rereading it in the future.