Dancing in the Dark: Romance, Yearning, and the Search for the Sublime

by Barbara Lazear Ascher

"Romance is structured yearning. In the romantic moment, we gather and focus that yearning in order to connect with something outside ourselves, believing against all odds that such connection is possible, knowing paradoxically that romance is born in the space between our reach and our grasp."So begins Barbara Lazear Ascher's Dancing in the Dark. Offering enchantment to a disenchanted age, this mesmerizing new book explores our instinctual, ageless romantic impulse and the essential role of romance in our lives, in nature, and in the arts.Barbara Ascher's lyrical and provocative prose expands the idea of romance and reveals its powers to redeem passion in our everyday lives. Ascher seeks out the romantic and explores the connections among sex, religion, family, nature, travel, food, music, art, and architecture, offering unforgettable insights that engage the soul and mind.In her quest for what is transcendent in life, she joins intrepid birders in Central Park, who brave winter cold for a glimpse of the long-eared owl--and for a connection between man and nature. She visits Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater house, and Le Cirque's kitchen to witness sensuous pastrymaking. She travels to great museums to view extraordinary paintings and to discuss romance with Sydney Pollack. She attends a Barbara Cook master class and buys a manual typewriter on which to write. Every page of this book draws us into our deepest humanity.Dancing in the Dark elevates this vital sentiment to a passion-suffused life force, available to all, composed of hope, reverence for the unattainable, and the desire for more. Friendly, humorous, informative, Dancing in the Dark connects life to art, fact to fiction, and present to past.

256 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

A thought-provoking if almost bizarrely uneven collection of essays on Romanticism.

Ascher is at her best when speaking very directly on her chosen topic. There’s some beautiful and thoughtful stuff in here, and I wish that more of the book had stayed that course.

Some authors do a wonderful job of inserting themselves into this sort of writing, and others leave you wishing they hadn’t. Though she has her moments, Ascher’s more personal writing feels very out of step with both the goal and the tone of the subject matter.

There’s a lot of Boomerish, middle aged lady stuff scuffling about with the better parts of the material. My daughter thinks I’m embarrassing, my husband wishes I would shut up, and such. This happens so frequently in the essays that it feels like a central theme in and of itself, and it’s disappointing to see someone with so much talent as a writer and who is clearly boasting the education and access needed to write profoundly about Romanticism meander off into this kind of folksy, “relatable!” equivocation.

Was the goal of this then to democratize Romanticism? Romanticism for the masses? Ascher, in her personal asides, seems to pander to this. A real Madonna of Suburbia, despite the fact that she lives in the city and her employment and education are that of someone who will never need to flirt with anti-intellectualism to get a point across.

Still, there’s some good stuff here, particularly in how Ascher defines Romanticism and the feelings it evokes. I particularly enjoyed the essay on her trip to Madrid and experience of viewing Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights. But there’s a lot here that I could have done with out, and a lot that largely detracts from the central theme of the book.

[vanessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm re-reading this now. It's cozy, like a nice fleece blanket on a winter day. It's basically about 'romance' but not in the mushy "you've got mail" sort of way, but in the sense of topics that make our hearts and interests come alive, and how we can dedicate so much energy to those things because they renew and intrigue us in such special ways.

[Amy Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book after checking it out at the library. I then had to hunt it down so I could own it. The language is beautiful and reinforces something that I have always believed. A candlelight dinner is still romantic even if you're eating alone. It's all in the attitude, not the company. Bird watching, art museums, and houses built from vision are all romantic in their own way.

[Sunflower · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was wandering in a part of the library that I seldom visit, and the title of this grabbed my attention. The title is one of the best bits: the rest is like a well-written blog.