I swear, every time I read a book from Expat Press, I feel like such a babe in the woods. I mean, don't get me wrong. I had my share of ill-advised fun in my teens and twenties. Some pretty dirtbag years, if I'm being completely honest. But nothing that makes me feel like I could hang with the likes of Gwen Hilton, whose loosely connected stories and gender-amorphous autofictions (I think) comprise the at times nihilistic, at times hilarious, (perhaps even deserving of their own new descriptor: nihilarious?) collection Sent to the Silkworm House. These mad, amoral tales of debauched derring-do - scribbled out in a percussively pithy, ruthlessly exacting style that screams and squelches and cackles right off the page - announce a brave, brazen new voice of a generation; one quite literally raised by TV, just well enough to fake its way into the college of the internets, where it learned just enough to make ends meet while its predecessors burn the world down.
Almost by way of a disclaimer, Hilton makes note right off the bat of the inherent faultiness of memory before launching into a kind of spliced-and-diced highlight reel of formative scenes from a youth that will feel familiar to most anyone who grew up middle-class-adjacent on the cusp of the 20th and 21st centuries; unsupervised afternoons of illicit video gaming and hard-R movies viewed entirely too young, intermixed with vaguely erotic adolescent bullying (both inflicted and endured), and moments of sudden, horrific violence that shattered the idyllic facade of her Anytown, USA bedroom community. Reminiscent of both the word-of-mouth suburban mythmaking that gave Kevin Smith's early films their dialogic cred, and the neglected underbelly of American childhood exposed via the best work of Harmony Korine and Larry Clark, Hilton (who is, by her own admission, a hopelessly romantical movie lover) here with these early chapters, stakes her claim amid that provocateurial tradition.
After a hard-compacted diamond of a story about working a scam selling exercise equipment (I mention it only because it was one of my favorites) the book's exposed midriff wriggles through an exhibitionist hodgepodge of sexual fantasies and outre encounters, including (but not limited to) a no-holds-barred teenage porn binge, a confessional outpouring of lust for John Hinckley Jr., the revelation of a tramp stamp reading "Butt Slut," and a terrifying evening spent with a potentially sociopathic older woman which, while I won't give away details here, I will say features viscerally depicted acts of both sex and violence that made me physically squirm in my seat. Hilton, who is trans, but has stated in interviews that she did not set out to speak to the trans experience or write from a specifically trans perspective, leaves virtually all sexual politics scrabbling madly outside the deadbolted bedroom door - largely separated from the more gut-level sensations in which her work is human-trafficking. And though any reader will see obvious rights and wrongs being perpetrated throughout these stories, Hilton's chief talking points seem to be more in line with "this shit happens all the time" and "people get away with this every day."
These upsettingly titillating (or titillatingly upsetting?) divulgences dovetail directly into the book's latter third, which revolves around the (nebulously semiautobiographical? maybe?) protagonist's work as an online reputation management specialist - a kind of cybersecurity mercenary for people who don't want their dirty laundry to be their defining internet search result. Armed with Keitel-esque Wolf's teeth cut on law firm grunt work and a sense of self-preservation that borders on the Machiavellian, Hilton offers us an insider's insight into the down-and-dirty operations of a Fixer-for-hire ("You can hide a dead body on page 2 of Google" she repeatedly tells her clients), bringing the unsavory practices one might associate with Otto Maddox or Jimmy McGill into the age of cancel culture and #MeToo. In many ways, this job feels like the direct result of all that came before it - the distilled, weaponized, monetized repurposing of a lifetime's worth of ugly truths well-learned; the gig economy of trauma.
In closing, Sent to the Silkworm House is not for the faint of heart (it's my fourth Expat title, and so far, they're batting 1,000 on that front), but if you've read this far and it sounds like your preferred brand of perversely wild ride, then it is without question the real deal. Transgressive fiction grows on trees these days - especially for those plugged into the small press community - and it's not always easy to know what just might rise above the fray and knock your fuckin' socks off, but Gwen Hilton absolutely will. Even with my own tragicomic grotesque of bad sex, lame drugs, and pop culture annihilation set for publication next month, I still don't know if I could hang with her, but if the tastes expressed in Sent to the Silkworm House are any indication (Lou Reed and Metallica's Lulu IS a misunderstood masterpiece! Bronson is NWR's BEST film!) I'd jump at the chance. She writes with the purity of vision of someone who's seen it all, the inspired fury of someone who's got a Hell of a lot to say about it, and the anarchic empathy of someone who's always on the hunt for more. Here's hoping that means more stories like these in the very near future.