In Tandem: Pedaling Through Midlife on a Bicycle Built for Two

by Jay Livingston, Szifra Birke

In this amusing, insightful, and nuanced memoir about building a new relationship in middle age, a tandem bike is both character and metaphor. The bike offers the new couple an ongoing physical challenge and an arena that requires cooperation and negotiation to assemble a new marriage on the detritus of multiple divorces, breakups, and a death.

An entertaining meditation on coupling and the mechanics of bikes. It captures the complexity of creating a durable twosome while maintaining individuality, the convoluted art of integrating personal responsibility and shared accountability, and the need to not just negotiate but welcome differences when established adult lives are merged.

All this occurs as two people suffer to push themselves and thirty-five pounds of bike up long hills, avoid encounters with a bike’s most dangerous predators (cars), and learn to lean together into the curves life throws at them.


"...a wonderful, enlightening read that correlates tandem cycling to relationships and more. Not just a must-read for cyclists, everyone will benefit from this introspective view of our interaction with our significant others, ourselves, and some of the best strategies to create a successful team of two." Andy Applegate, Senior Cycling Coach

“I thoroughly enjoyed this delightful, moving, and funny tale of a resilient, dynamic duo…so tenderly and delicately handcrafted.” Louise Baribeau, Retired Mental Health Professional, Newburyport, MA

Kindle Edition

Published September 1, 2022

Reviews

[Syble Solomon · Rating 5 out of 5]

As promised, this book does a great job explaining the nuances of what it takes to be successful as a tandem biking team and expertly applies that metaphor to what it takes to be successful as a couple developing and maintaining a relationship. Their stories and challenges are real which makes it a book anyone in a relationship can relate to. What I didn’t expect was something that is rarely talked about—how you navigate new relationships when a past relationship that has ended lives on in the mind or heart of one or both people. A gesture, word, situation or anything else can unexpectedly set off emotional reactions related to that other person and both people need to acknowledge it. Left unaddressed, it can harm or sabotage a relationship. Livingston and Birke don’t pretend to have all the answers, but they acknowledge the issue and share how they approached it in ways that strengthened their own marriage. Their honesty is inspiring and helpful.

[Anne Jolles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. My take away is if you want to get to know someone and grow with them then learn something new together that you both enjoy. What an adventure… My favorite line in the book: “But as long as we are riding together, we are where we want to be.”
“In Tandem” is more than a metaphor for relationships… this is a love story on wheels!

[Heather W · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Tandem: Pedaling Through Midlife on a Bicycle Built for Two by Jay Livingston and Szifra Birke is a reflective and lightly humorous exploration of midlife transition, partnership, and shared experience. The book uses the metaphor of riding a tandem bicycle to represent collaboration, balance, and the adjustments required when two people move through life together.

What stands out in this book is its creative use of metaphor to frame relationship dynamics and midlife change. The “tandem bicycle” concept effectively illustrates themes of coordination, trust, and mutual direction, especially during periods of personal reassessment and life transition.

The tone is conversational and reflective, blending life observations with relational insight. It appears geared toward readers navigating midlife shifts who are interested in maintaining connection, balance, and shared purpose in long-term relationships.

Overall, it is an engaging and thoughtful read that uses a simple but effective metaphor to explore partnership, change, and the evolving rhythm of life in midlife.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting a tandem edition of Miles from Nowhere, the bicycle adventure of Barbara Savage and her partner in the 1970s.
This story opened with a peloton of tandems and single rider likened to a pack of hounds spotting a rabbit. I was hooked and ready for more cycling tales. Alas, the majority of the book was about the authors’ relationship with little vignettes of cycling.

Great read if you’re looking for relationship advice.

[Janet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t steer away from this insightful read just because you are not a tandem rider! The prose speaks to much more than two people riding one bike. It is a memoir of navigating a journey as a couple, discovering personalities, building a relationship, of making joint decisions and mutually respecting each others thoughts and opinions. Great suggestions for any team, whether two or more. Filled with humor and amusing anecdotes! Highly recommended to read or listen with your partner!

[Sarah K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jay and Szifra are such accomplished individuals with fascinating lives and together are truly a dynamic duo! It’s a fantastic read if you love cycling, relationships, comedy, memoirs, and just a good story- so it’s for EVERYONE!! It’s also a MUST READ if you are thinking about trying tandem cycling (or really tandem anything)! Loved it cover to cover!

[Joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

good, but complicated story

I thought Jay and Szifera had a lot to tell in this, but it really is Jay’s voice. I see why our first and only attempt riding a rental tandem bike did not go well.