Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, Revised and Updated Edition: From Infant to Toddler-Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child

by Jane Nelsen, Roslyn Ann Duffy, Cheryl Erwin

11 pages, MP3 CD

Published March 1, 2021

About the author

Dr. Jane Nelsen is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in South Jordan, UT and Carlsbad, CA.

She is the author and/or coauthor of the Positive Discipline Series.

Reviews

[John Poulain · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having just finished the Positive Discipline book with my wife we thought we'd give this one a go as it would be more targetted towards our 9 month old. The book repeats a lot of the same ideas, and mostly seems to be about waiting until your child is old enough to start contributing and gettign that sense of belonging, saying things like toddlers can help stir eggs to make scrambled eggs and that you can have a positive time out space when a child is old enough to contribute to its design.

All the good information fromt eh last book is still here, focusing on "King but Firm" disicipline letting children experience the natural consequences of their actions rather than the enforced punishment from authority figures; making sure that you don't lecture and try to make sure that even though you "may lack patience and get honed into being reduce rather than responding thoughtfully. You need to apologise and reconcile. Teach children to work for improvement not perfection."

The book recommends for you to take a photo of your sleeping child as a reminder of how angelic they can be. The parent child relationship is at the heart of everything in this book. Rudolph Drykers identified a sense of belonging. Children who have a secure attachment are more likely to be able to make more bonds Mary mane found that the best indicator of a child's sense of attachment was the parents attachment to their family. Growing autonomy is founded in the 2nd and 3rd year building a foundation for self worth. Give them will over own actions where possible 

Praise vs encouragement. Make sure words are specific, you can say great job to your barber, dog or partner whereas well done on finding your bone is specific. Carol Dweck, author of mindfulness, says don't praise attributes, e.g.being intelligent. it Harms motivation and performance. Children love praise but it is harmful in the long term vs. Encouragement 

CHOICE NOTES

Questions to ponder about child's temprement
Aspects of Temprement
1 ACtivity level
2 Rhytmisicty (how predictable are their mood cycles, sleep, bowl movements etc.)
3 initial response (to stimuli)
4 adaptability
5 sensory threshold
6 quality of mood
7 intensity of reactions
8 distractibility
9 persistence and attention span.

Potty training. Some Nappies are so absorbent that children don't feel the physical sensations or discomfort. Parents have used cloth nappies so that the physical geelings can promote mastery. One parent foudn out their child was so rhythmic in their bowl movements that the child had potty trained the parent to put her on the loo at just the right time.

Baby boys are more fragile at birth than girls. More easily stressed, fussier and cry more without learning self soothing. 
 
"All children will inherit the earth wherever they took their naps. "

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked all of this book except for the chapters on weaning. While I agree that it is good to wean from the bottle at 1 (for oral developmental reasons), I don’t agree that babies should be weaned from the breast or that they “naturally” want to wean between 9 months and a year. They may refuse the breast at this point because they may not have been properly paced fed by the bottle and realize they can be lazy eaters not on the breast. But babies will not naturally wean themselves from the breast before 1. Nursing beyond the age of 1 is completely natural and should be treated that way.

[Hayley Ludeman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I‘m an early childhood teacher, have been for 14 years, I studied for 4 years and I’ve read a lot of text books, theorist papers, and learning material around the topics in this book. Whilst I agree with a lot of the day to day information I would take the information about cosleeping and weaning with a grain of salt. The style in which it is written is almost like it’s a directive instead of choice. Many examples in the book are very relevant.

[Gehad · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book a good handbook for every mother/parent as a first step to prepare herself for the journey. It contains a lot of information that is very convenient for a caregiver.