We Wrote Your Name in Color: A Memoir

by Jessye Wilden

Will you look after our kids if anything happens to us? It’s a big ask. But Jessye and Ryan Wilden come from a small town and loving families with many members who do life together. So when Ryan’s youngest sister Rena and her husband Danny call one day to say they’ve decided to write up their wills, Jessye and Ryan say yes. They never imagine that years later, a homicide/suicide event will take their best friends, rob two children of their parents, tear two families apart, cause their small town to take up sides, and test their faith in God. Never mind that Jessye’s pregnant, that Ryan has a business to run, that they’re building a house, that their dog and their car are about to die, that the budget is very, very tight. There was never any question. Yes. Of course. We love you, come here . But it’s hard. There are court appearances, lawyers, meetings, financial decisions, cleaning and packing, the unexpected kindness of strangers, a bear, countless prayers (and one spectacular rant) … and in the end, new life for a blended family. This wise and meaningful story will forever change the way you look at trauma and grief, forgiveness and redemption, and the ultimate power of love.

238 pages, Paperback

Published October 16, 2022

About the author

Jessye Wilden lives with her husband, Ryan, and their children in Mount Shasta, California, where bears rattle the garbage cans and deer occasionally pose dramatically in the backyard. As a family they are passionate about snow skiing, adventuring in their camping trailer, and dancing in the kitchen. Jessye continues to write and speak to groups using her unique perspective and exciting storytelling to help others hold onto goodness when life hurts most; when she has some spare time, she enjoys date nights with her husband or reading a book in the sunshine with a giant cup of coffee.

Connect with Jessye at https://www.jessyewilden.com or hang out with her on Instagram (her favorite social!) https://www.instagram.com/jessye_wilden

Reviews

[Amy Redelsperger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This incredible story is life changing. A message of hope, this memoir takes you into the mind of author jessye Wilden during one of the hardest years of her life. The homicide/suicide event that shook an entire town to its core, is only part of the story. Beauty comes from ashes and this story is proof of that.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is filled with a message of faith, hope, and love. It is beautifully written in a series of vignettes that all weave together into an uplifting story.

Whether you have experienced loss or grief similar to that in the book or are wanting to know the best ways to help someone who has, We Wrote Your Name In Color has lots of hope and wisdom to share.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Aaron Redelsperger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jessye Wilden's book, We Wrote Your Name in Color, was authentically and powerfully written. A story of tragedy and grace I was moved to tears while reading it. I recommend it to those who have been touched by loss because it shares hope and belief that Yahweh God is always faithful and always adds to rather than takes away from our lives.

[Carlee Punt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Jessye Wilden has a talent for transporting you with her words. Not only are you standing in her living room witnessing grief unfolding, but you feel it in your soul as well. From the first chapter to the last, I felt every emotion and could easily picture each moment she so vulnerably shares. The profound guidance and encouragement I have received from reading this book is a blessing I won’t forget anytime soon. These are pages I will highlight, reread, gift, and quote often as I navigate grief in my own life through newfound hope. I highly recommend getting a copy for yourself and seeing what I mean firsthand.

[Scott Family · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book for everyone. The first time I read this book I couldn’t put it down, so I decided to read it a second time to savor and I’m so glad I did. My teens asked to read it and we’ve already had great discussions not only about some epiphanies on our past grief, but also about what we can do when obstacles come that seem too big and we feel powerless. My husband commented, “I didn’t realize how much I needed to read this”. We Wrote Your Name In Color is a hope filled, well written, thoughtful read.

[Denise Cooney · Rating 5 out of 5]

All of us suffer some types of loss in our lives. Not all loss and grief is as traumatic as what is shared so honestly in this book, but all grief can be difficult to navigate. In We Wrote Your Name in Color: A Memoir, Jessye Wilden opens up in an honest and vulnerable way to share the road her family traveled walking through a devastating family tragedy with faith and forgiveness, and finding growth in love and hope along the journey.
I was moved to tears several times while reading, but along with the emotional gut punches packed into the stories, there is within a great mix of Jessye's love for God and her family along with her incredible sense of humor, which brings forth smiles and laughter.
Creatively written, this book is an incredible story, a joy to read, and can be a great source of hope for anyone who has shared loss in their lives. I highly recommend! Jessye's first book is a triumph!!

[Lauren Groom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jessye reflects on God’s grace and plan when the unthinkable happens and as the family is left to pick up the pieces left behind. This collection of memories and reflections tells the story of a tragedy as the author experienced through her own lens. I think Jessye does a beautiful job telling a story of redemption and grace. I found myself drawn into the stories told in the book. I feel as though Jessye did a great job being respectful of her kid’s stories while telling her own. This is a story I believe needed to be told and through it hopefully many will find healing.

[Marvin And · Rating 5 out of 5]

Occasionally life throws us a curve ball taking us completely by surprise spinning our carefully structured lives completely out of control. In her new book, “We Wrote Your Name in Color” Jessye Wilden weaves her story during a dark time in her life when out of left field comes a blow that sets in motion something only God could do. In her refreshing and uplifting manner, Jessye talks about the grief and loss, about the illusions of control, about taking God up on His promises, clinging to Him when chaos rules the day. To be on the lookout for the good, for joy comes in the morning!

[Candice · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is beautifully written. It chronicles the year the author’s sister and brother in law tragically died. Leaving their two kids behind. The message of this book is that of healing, Grace, love, and community. The way that community brings about these things to a family and a small town who were mourning the loss of two of its most valued and loved members. Adoption, hope, and unconditional love are shown by the author and her family.

[Jayanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully told

[Angelica Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m giving this book 5 stars because not only am I fan of true crime stories, but I love a book that is thought provoking and challenges me to think differently. I did not know Danny and Rena personally but I have family who knew them on a personal daily basis and were greatly impacted by the homicide/suicide. When I first heard of what happened, I immediately was on the side of “I hope Danny doesn’t get a funeral. Why should he?”. It was my sister in law’s response that shook me: “We love them both. We forgive Danny and do not hold any hate towards him.” This was just a few days after the tragedy. I was taken aback by her words and attitude because I did not understand. My niece was hurting so I wanted to be her warrior to protect her with my spear of judgement. My immediate thoughts were: “You’re her mom. Let’s stand together”. After reading the memoir, I finally understand why my “up north family” and so many others would be brave, gracious and forgiving of what I would call “an unforgivable act”. The author provides a glimpse into her own heart and in the heart of the community as she paints a picture of hope, forgiveness and grace when really Danny didn’t deserve any of that. This book has helped me develop into a kinder, more compassionate and understanding human. Jessye’s words of “empathy over judgement” will be etched in my heart and mind forever as that is the kind of person I want to be.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves true crime, appreciates humor in storytelling, or who has experienced their own tragedies and find it difficult to forgive the unforgivable.

[Jennifer Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every now and again you come across a book that will change your life if you let it. We Wrote Your Name in Color is that book. This book chronicles a tragic homicide suicide that shook the small town of Mount Shasta to it’s core. A tight knit community torn right down the middle overnight as horrific loss pins the people of the town against one another. Team Rena or Team Danny. But what if you were both? In this memoir Jessye challenges us to answer the hard questions and most importantly keep God at the center of it all. Pain and grief can be all consuming and push us into the wayward arms of the world where we can be judgmental, angry, and hateful. However, as Jessye so beautifully demonstrates in God we can find grace, compassion, and the ability to forgive. It doesn’t bring them back but it gives those left behind hope. How we process and respond to grief impacts our healing and recovery. There is something in this book for everyone because we have all experienced grief in some form or another. We can choose to come together in those moments or let it destroy us. Choose God. Choose love. Choose faith. God can take the most painful of traumas and turn it for good if you just let him. 2 children lost their parents and 2 adults lost their best friends, but through that loss they gained a beautiful blended family. Together they are able to keep the best parts of Danny and Rena alive. When God is with us joy will always come in the morning. 🙌🏼🙏🏼

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Christina Dyrssen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where to even begin? I suppose a very short, no-spoiler, summary is a good place. We Wrote Your Name in Color is the heartbreaking and heart-mending story of a Mount Shasta family whose whole life is turned upside down by a murder/suicide. Jessye Wilden bares her journey of navigating mourning, pregnancy, and building a new home while blending the family left behind. This story does a wonderful job of not shying away from the hard stuff while being careful not to traumatize (or re-traumatize) the reader. I feel I am a good judge of this quality because the people in the book are my blood relatives. These are not characters in a book for me; they are my cousins, my aunt, my uncle, my family, and my loss too. I was incredibly nervous to relive the tragedy through this book and I can say without a doubt that I am so glad I did. Jessye did an incredible job. Every chapter is filled with nuggets of wisdom and the characteristics of the loving God I have known in my own healing journey. As someone who is in the psychology field, I can attest that this book is filled to the brim with beautiful authenticity and hope that brings healing. What a wonderful reminder to “grab the goodness” even in the face of sorrow.

[Shastine · Rating 5 out of 5]

In life there are a lot of things you can not control or change. What you can control is how you react to these people or events. Jessye beautifully depicts how a horrific tragedy changed her, her family, and the community surrounding the mountain town where the event took place. She tells the story of losing her sister-in-law and brother-in-law, both of whom she was incredibly close friends with. While this event polarized the community, Jessye approaches it from a place of empathy, love and grace. Deeply leaning into her faith, she illustrates the challenges of blending a family while catching the curveballs life hurls at you and surrendering it all to God’s Will. Jessye shows how the many forms of grief affect entire communities, let alone those closest to the tragedy. Throughout the whole book one theme is abundantly clear: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” - 1 Corinthians 13:13

[Chari]

This book was recommended to me by a friend. I am so glad that I read this book! I have never written a book review before, but I feel very strongly that I must for this book. WE WROTE YOU IN COLOR is a memoir. Written in vignettes, the author weaves the story of tragedy, grief, love, growth and healing. She writes of the tragic homicide/suicide of her husband’s sister and husband, leaving two precious children without their parents. The author includes the life stories leading up to this point, the devastating news, family meetings, community support, heartache, adoption, building a life together, having a new baby, and more. The real life characters of the story come to life on the pages through the author’s words.

I read through the book fairly quickly because it was hard to put down; I noted many memorable and inspiring quotes throughout the story. I will definitely be rereading it more slowly a second time through. A few of the quotes that stood out for me:

“No matter how sad the moment was, they [the kids] still chose the goodness in front of them.”

“I was also learning to sit with someone in their hurt, not to look away or distract myself because I was uncomfortable, but to just be.”

“As I began to open my arms to the moments that seemed like interruptions, my perspective began to change. These moments were opportunities carefully placed in my day.”

“.....children are much better at grieving than adults.”

As I was reading through the book, I discovered that every few lines or pages, I was using the author’s self-reflection to reflect on similar aspects in my own life. And what a great inspiration and opportunity that is! It has got me thinking about so much and the way I live my life, especially in my relationships with others.

Reading books is recommended as an opportunity to learn about how others live and solve problems in their lives. Reading WE WROTE YOUR NAME IN COLOR will allow you to think about grief and healing, relationships, living your best life…... Everyone needs to do this in their life; this book will support you.

[DonJay Rice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jessye shares her family's story of loss and grief but more importantly she weaves in how important remembering who God is and his promises when in the middle of a whirlwind of pain, confusion and the unexpected. It is a story of tragedy, but also a story of healing, love and forgiveness.

[Christee Holbrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! A must read for faith and inspiration.

[Mary Carlson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so beautifully written about loss and how the author and her family get through the difficult times with love and grace. Highly recommend this book to anyone experiencing loss and to anyone who just loves a great book!

[Carla DeRoss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Telling a tragic, extremely painful personal story with hope and an eternal perspective is a task I cannot imagine completing. However, this author shares how saying ¨yes" to God opens the door for the seemingly impossible. As a reader, I felt like I was given a gift as I read the vulnerable words, connected with various emotions or experiences, and then shared in the joy, goodness and peace that is conveyed in the midst of unthinkable circumstances. As a Christian, many of the words shared are things I know to be true, but it is so powerful to read a genuine story of Godś power at work in a family who faced deep valleys of grief and loss. The story is woven together beautifully and very relatable in many ways...Although many of us have not or will not ever face events just like these, the unique perspective presented, and meaningful lessons learned through this story, will stay with you and help light the way when life brings grief, pain, or tragedy your way.

[Sarah Moran · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book!! God truly does use grief, tragedy, & sorrow to draw us closer to Him, & this book was such a beautiful depiction of that!! Jessye Wilden truly has a God-given talent for writing, & I’m so thankful that she shared her family’s beautiful story with the world 💕

[Bre B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We Wrote your Name in Color,” is a story of tragedy and grief and simultaneously, of grace, redemption, family and healing! It is a beautiful read, a heart-filling experience and it’s real. Jessye reminds us throughout sharing her family’s story to “see the goodness.” I can’t imagine a better way to have spent my time.

[Jennifer Summers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jessye did a wonderful job of sharing her heart and the story of how the Lord worked through incredibly difficult circumstances. She is a friend in real life and we have watched them live out writing in color. Don't miss this book, but be ready to shed some tears.

[Sharonlb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is REAL LIFE: Fun-loving, engaging, sad, yet full of Wisdom and Grace.

After reading this book, I realize that we ALL need to share our story of growing in Grace. This is part of Gods plan--that we share together in our daily struggles, that we might be a light unto the eternal path of finding Peace and Joy.

I have heard it said: "Grief is the price we pay for love...The pain doesn't go away, but you learn to live with it, and you get stronger from it."
Some people "stuff" or hide their pain and grief allowing sadness and anger to reign in their lives--even family members. But not this author. Five years after a family homicide/suicide, the author transparently journals her mourning and her memories throughout the good times and difficult times of her life.
Fun-filled family stories are interspersed with words of Godly wisdom. The author learns from her grief-stricken children and adopted children, that its okay to be wailing in tears one moment and then 5 minutes later be singing and dancing in the kitchen. The children have also courageously shared their journey separately.

The author's journey through facing the pain of tragic Grief and Loss shows inspirational Wisdom, and a divine growing in Grace, Love, and Forgiveness. The author is always looking for the Goodness of God, reminding herself that beyond the shadow of darkness Joy will come in the morning. She finds peace in adopting her family's children and in the birth of a new child when she writes, "I know now, You are NOT a God Who steals, You are a God Who ADDS...God thank you for making a way when it felt like there wasn't one..."

This is a "must-read" for anyone navigating the pain and darkness of suffering, grief, and loss. May we all be inspired to write our story of growing in Grace, in living color, gathering pieces of wisdom from this author.

[Ron · Rating 1 out of 5]

“The reason the memoir genre is compelling is because it’s fascinating to read the dirty details of others’ lives. Memoir authors usually don’t write about rainbows and sunshine, they write about the salacious. Abuse, sex, addiction, and family drama—it’s the Sturm und Drang that people want to read about. This is the primary reason why memoirs open the door for lawsuits.”

There’s nothing in this book about how to help a hurting friend that struggles with addiction, the signs missed. How to help a friend with suicidal thoughts (no 30 year old makes a Will unless they have lots of money). There’s NOTHING redemptive here. The kids lost almost all their family and the caretakers are heartless and have done nothing to mend this. They actually believe they can replace their entire family by manipulating Gods will and teaching them this is “loyalty”. It’s abusive and manipulative and utterly tragic. The truth will come and Gods true will, will prevail.

[Natalee Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Regardless of our connection to this book, if any at all, this is a story with so much healing.

If you were blessed to know Danny and Rena the way Jessye explains what happened in their family will open your eyes and start to heal the deepest scars (scars I personally didn’t think would ever heal). Reading about this experience from a different view brought me to my knees.

If you are blessed to know the Molden family, while reading this you will grace that overflows (which I’m sure you have been amazed by when observing them) Gods grace, their grace for each other and their grace for a community that was devastated.

If you are someone who didn’t know anything about this situation but you are looking for hope and how God adds and doesn’t take away this is a book of &’s. From the time before tragedy struck, to the day it happened and into every days after God added. This is truly a book of God’s goodness, hope, &’s, grace and love.

[Susie Nabors · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hope out of grief and loss is something we all long for in life. I live in Georgia and have never been to Mt. Shasta, but I am so grateful to have connected with the author and this real-life story. I loved the way this story was presented and I think anyone that has faced real tragedy in life, which is all of us, can connect with the themes presented by the author and find comfort in her message. I could not recommend this book more and have given copies of this book as gifts to my dearest friends. I am grateful that the author has given us a glimpse into her beautiful family as an example of how a family can keep going, even after the most difficult of losses. Thank you for sharing your story with the world so the world can have a little more hope, which we need now more than ever.

[Mira Francesi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Publishing this book while those most affected by the tragedy are still minors—living under the author’s care and unable to safely voice disagreement—is not the action of a compassionate parent, but one acting without regard for the vulnerable. Though the author claims the children consented to having their stories and names included, it's difficult to imagine how anyone under 18 could fully comprehend the lifelong consequences of such exposure. In the aftermath of a tragedy, with their well-being entirely dependent on the author for food, shelter, and emotional support, how could they feel secure in expressing any hesitation? They would likely fear losing their family a second time if they were to disappoint the author by objecting to the publication.

[Sharaun Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a wonderful read! Jessye's storytelling is both raw and beautiful as she recounts the complex events that rocked hers and so many others' lives. At the center of the story is an unimaginable tragedy, but the message is one of hope and forgiveness. This enjoyable read had me giggling at relational and parenting insights, in awe at moments of forgiveness, and encouraged by the power of community and faith. We Wrote Your Name in Color is a moving book. It would be a great gift for someone grieving.

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love to read biographies of historical figures who lived through difficult events and persevered, their stories inspire me. This book may not have taken place in another time but the story of perseverance and inspiration is astounding. The book was very well written and flows well. Jessye Wilden is a truly great storyteller!

[Grayson Hackett · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an absolutely beautiful book. One of the most emotionally powerful sections of this book was Transmission Failure. The way Jessye Wilden writes is just so honest. While the timeline was confusing, the meaning behind the stories and words she wrote shines through it. Much love.