What do you think?
Rate this book
Seeking Forgiveness
Seeking Forgiveness tells the story of interracial adoption in the United States today, from the perspective of a white mother who adopts a Black son and finds she has no idea what the hell she is doing.
Rachel, the adoptive mother of Miles, receives a call from the police in the middle of the night informing her that her son has been arrested. She rushes to the police station to help Miles, consumed with worry that she has failed to protect her son from events beyond his control.
For the next eight hours, as Rachel desperately tries to get Miles out of jail, she recalls their life together and the events that have led them to their current situation. In so doing she questions her competence as a mother, the viability of interracial adoption, and whether her son will ever forgive her for the mistakes she made as his adoptive mother.
A rich commentary on motherhood, adoption, and race relations in America today, this suspenseful narrative memoir will linger long after the immediate tension of the novel has been resolved.
If you enjoy female-driven autobiographical novels such as Motherhood by Sheila Heti, I Love Dick by Chris Kraus, and Dept of Speculation by Jenny Offill, you will want to read this novel. Similarly, if you are drawn to stories of racial identity and interracial relations, including Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennnett, Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, and The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas, you will also be glad you picked up this suspenseful, moving, semi-autobiographical narrative memoir.
169 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 18, 2022
4 people are currently reading
1706 people want to read
About the author
Lea Rachel
2 books20 followersLea Rachel is the author of The Other Shakespeare, as well as a number of other short works of fiction and nonfiction. Originally from Detroit, MI she now lives in St. Louis, MO with her husband and son, and teaches at The University of Missouri-St. Louis.
Find out more about Lea at her website: http://www.learachel.com/main/
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
November 16, 2022
As a WAP with a Black son of my own, I was nervous about reading this book. I was really afraid it would be over-the-top, or not true to the experience, or the characters cardboard or something like that. But I needn't have worried. This book is wonderful. Beautiful. Honest. Raw. Gripping. Enraging. Enlightening. Hopeful. It tells it like it is, bringing you into the daily experience of an inter-racial family and making you cry, but giving you rays of positivity and hope at the same time. This was a well written page-turner that you better bet I'm going to make all my friends read!!!
October 14, 2022
Very insightful and empathetic coverage of what one white woman experiences as the adoptive mother of a black boy. For those who have never seen the insidious micro-aggressions of the white community, it is very eye-opening. For those who have seen them, it rings true to the nature of our white society.
November 30, 2022
“Seeking Forgiveness” is the journey and coming-of-age of one woman’s only wish- to become a mother, no matter the cost. Rachel Zames finds this obtainable after checking off the boxes of meeting the man of her dreams, albeit later in life, and having the breathing room to settle down. Marrying later in life comes with its potential problems, one being the struggle to conceive; being a problem-solver, she’ll figure this out. When a child becomes available to adopt, Rachel jumps at the opportunity to be the mother she has dreamed of – the skin and ethnicity of the child shouldn’t matter, right?
Flash forward sixteen years and Rachel has received a call from Miles, her Black child, that he’s in jail. How can this be?! Rachel knows her son and has been an integral part of her life all of these years, so there’s no way they have the right person, right? While sitting in the waiting room, waiting as patiently as a mother can, she relives moments of his innocence while bringing him home for the first time and the pure, innocent love Miles displayed toward her in his younger years, but also the tough moments when she, as the “white” mom, had to both teach him about and shield him from society’s views on interracial relationships, while learning more about it herself and discovering how much she can handle before it becomes too much for her and causes any doubts in her mind.
“Seeking Forgiveness” showcases the accurate distance that a good mother will/would go for their child, no matter the circumstances. Hints of the movie “The Blind Side” comes across in the story with the similarities of white women taking on the role of mother for a black boy, with the same love and respect for this child being evident as it would for any other child.
While the topic of interracial relationships is not relatable to this reader, the story overall, reactions, and emotions from the mother are very relatable as a fellow mother; the quality and quantity of her life that she devotes to her son should be relatable to all mothers in existence. Interracial relationships and racism are the overarching themes, but later in the story, you learn of another big and deep theme that could potentially be a trigger for readers but makes sense with the story.
“Seeking Forgiveness” showcases the evils and negativity lurking both in corners and plain sight around us, but also the positive people who choose to fight against evil for the sake of justice and morality. A thought-provoking and emotionally gripping 5-star read.
Flash forward sixteen years and Rachel has received a call from Miles, her Black child, that he’s in jail. How can this be?! Rachel knows her son and has been an integral part of her life all of these years, so there’s no way they have the right person, right? While sitting in the waiting room, waiting as patiently as a mother can, she relives moments of his innocence while bringing him home for the first time and the pure, innocent love Miles displayed toward her in his younger years, but also the tough moments when she, as the “white” mom, had to both teach him about and shield him from society’s views on interracial relationships, while learning more about it herself and discovering how much she can handle before it becomes too much for her and causes any doubts in her mind.
“Seeking Forgiveness” showcases the accurate distance that a good mother will/would go for their child, no matter the circumstances. Hints of the movie “The Blind Side” comes across in the story with the similarities of white women taking on the role of mother for a black boy, with the same love and respect for this child being evident as it would for any other child.
While the topic of interracial relationships is not relatable to this reader, the story overall, reactions, and emotions from the mother are very relatable as a fellow mother; the quality and quantity of her life that she devotes to her son should be relatable to all mothers in existence. Interracial relationships and racism are the overarching themes, but later in the story, you learn of another big and deep theme that could potentially be a trigger for readers but makes sense with the story.
“Seeking Forgiveness” showcases the evils and negativity lurking both in corners and plain sight around us, but also the positive people who choose to fight against evil for the sake of justice and morality. A thought-provoking and emotionally gripping 5-star read.
October 31, 2022
Seeking Forgiveness by Lea Rachel invites readers into the life of a mother who wonders if she should ever have been this child’s mother. “The hardest thing about being a parent…” the protagonist muses, “… was the worrying and doing your best but having absolutely no idea if what you were doing was good enough.” It’s a quandary all parents can relate to. But the protagonist here is Rachel, the white mother of an adopted African American child, in white America. She struggles to choose between living in a “poor” area with bad schools and kids that look like her son, Miles, or a “rich” area with good schools where Miles will be the exception proving the school is “integrated”. She wonders, should his culture or his education matter more, and why it can’t be both? And she tries to teach Miles to beware of how her (white) culture will judge him. Can she truly be a “good” mom in such a situation? And how will her failures hurt her child?
But this novel is not a polemic, calling readers to fix a broken world. It’s not a fable with a moral waiting at the end. It’s not a lesson in seeing how the other half lives. Instead, it’s a truly absorbing, enthralling, fictional tale that holds you on the edge of your seat, and that stays with the reader, long after the reading’s done. Seeking Forgiveness holds a mirror up to motherhood, society, and hope, all while telling captivating tale with great characters, genuine feeling, and convincing voice. In the end, maybe hope will win both in fiction and in life.
Disclosure: I was given an advance reader’s copy and I offer my honest review. I truly love this book! Highly recommended.
But this novel is not a polemic, calling readers to fix a broken world. It’s not a fable with a moral waiting at the end. It’s not a lesson in seeing how the other half lives. Instead, it’s a truly absorbing, enthralling, fictional tale that holds you on the edge of your seat, and that stays with the reader, long after the reading’s done. Seeking Forgiveness holds a mirror up to motherhood, society, and hope, all while telling captivating tale with great characters, genuine feeling, and convincing voice. In the end, maybe hope will win both in fiction and in life.
Disclosure: I was given an advance reader’s copy and I offer my honest review. I truly love this book! Highly recommended.
February 22, 2023
I think this book gave us all a hard look at reality. I literally finished this with tears in my eyes. I went through a range of emotions while reading this, but the primary feeling I had was sadness. I was so sad at how true I know this book is even though I know it is a semi-autobiographical book. It's unfortunate but I just KNOW that people are really this ignorant and will really say/ask the things mentioned in this book. I as a black woman have been asked things that make you tilt your head and go "you can't be serious" but people really are! I am glad that this is being talked about. I usually only hear about interracial adoption from the outside (meaning hearing other people's often times incorrect opinions) this is the first time I've heard it from the actual parents' perspective. I'm glad that this story is being told. I also hope that this can open a dialogue instead of an immediate "no" from outsiders looking in, I also hope that as a whole we can stop judging and side eyeing these families and actually offer assistance/reassurance as we are all just doing the best we can.
My only "issue" with this book was at the end I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what ended up happening with Hunter and Sarah. I want to know how Miles and Desmond's stories wrapped up. I want to know how the rest of their high school journey went. Overall great read and I highly recommend
My only "issue" with this book was at the end I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what ended up happening with Hunter and Sarah. I want to know how Miles and Desmond's stories wrapped up. I want to know how the rest of their high school journey went. Overall great read and I highly recommend
October 18, 2022
This memoir is told over the course of a single night as a white mother, Rachel, waits at a police station for word on why her Black son, Miles, has been arrested. During this dark night of the soul, she looks back over the mistakes she's made in parenting a Black child in a white world--and prays that none have been egregious enough to leave her son mortally wounded.
I am not sure if this is a novel or a memoir, as the author lists her last name as Rachel and says in her bio that she lives with her husband and son, while in the book, her husband is a lout who takes little interest in the boy they adopt and eventually leaves them. Either way, the story is engagingly written and held my interest, though it was frustrating not to know if the book was a true story, particularly as the ending was tied up with incidents that seemed so neat and dramatized that I wondered if they had been fictionalized.
Still, all of the incidents Rachel recalls along the way seem horrifyingly real, from a dental receptionist who won't let her son see the orthodontist unless she can produce papers proving she is his mother, to her son being the only Black boy in many settings and often targeted for his race by children and adults, to an ignorant woman in a supermarket asking if she has any "real children." Miles' slow realization that he is different in a way that makes people like him less and treat him less fairly is heartbreaking. Many of the questions Rachel raises about whether white people should adopt Black children, who may then always feel like an outsider in their own lives, have no answer beyond the prayer that the love of a family is better than leaving Black children with no family.
I found myself annoyed at how long it took for Rachel and thus the reader to find out what had happened that had landed Miles behind bars. Rachel's decision to call a racist uncle to help her find a lawyer also seems questionable to me. But the ending, wrapped up with Miles' release into his mother's arms, is a fairy tale I wish was more often the ending of Black boys' stories. I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in adoption, interracial adoption, or parenting.
I am not sure if this is a novel or a memoir, as the author lists her last name as Rachel and says in her bio that she lives with her husband and son, while in the book, her husband is a lout who takes little interest in the boy they adopt and eventually leaves them. Either way, the story is engagingly written and held my interest, though it was frustrating not to know if the book was a true story, particularly as the ending was tied up with incidents that seemed so neat and dramatized that I wondered if they had been fictionalized.
Still, all of the incidents Rachel recalls along the way seem horrifyingly real, from a dental receptionist who won't let her son see the orthodontist unless she can produce papers proving she is his mother, to her son being the only Black boy in many settings and often targeted for his race by children and adults, to an ignorant woman in a supermarket asking if she has any "real children." Miles' slow realization that he is different in a way that makes people like him less and treat him less fairly is heartbreaking. Many of the questions Rachel raises about whether white people should adopt Black children, who may then always feel like an outsider in their own lives, have no answer beyond the prayer that the love of a family is better than leaving Black children with no family.
I found myself annoyed at how long it took for Rachel and thus the reader to find out what had happened that had landed Miles behind bars. Rachel's decision to call a racist uncle to help her find a lawyer also seems questionable to me. But the ending, wrapped up with Miles' release into his mother's arms, is a fairy tale I wish was more often the ending of Black boys' stories. I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in adoption, interracial adoption, or parenting.
February 24, 2026
Seeking Forgiveness by Lea Rachel is a gripping and deeply introspective narrative memoir that confronts the emotional and societal complexities of interracial adoption in America with unflinching honesty. Structured around a single, harrowing night when Rachel receives a call that her Black son, Miles, has been arrested the book unfolds as both a suspense driven account and a layered examination of motherhood, race, and accountability.
What makes this work especially compelling is its vulnerability. Rachel does not position herself as a heroic or enlightened parent; instead, she interrogates her own blind spots, assumptions, and failures. Over the course of eight tense hours at the police station, memories surface that reveal the emotional terrain of raising a Black son as a white mother in a racially stratified society. The narrative becomes less about a single arrest and more about systemic inequities, generational fear, and the painful realization that love alone is not enough to shield a child from racism.
The prose is sharp, reflective, and intimate reminiscent of confessional literary memoirs that privilege interiority and moral self examination. Yet beneath the introspection runs a steady current of urgency, making the book feel both literary and immediate. Rachel’s questioning of her competence, her understanding of race, and her hope for her son’s forgiveness creates a reading experience that is emotionally demanding and profoundly necessary.
Seeking Forgiveness is not a comfortable book but it is an important one. It invites readers into an honest reckoning with race, privilege, and the limits of intention, ensuring its impact lingers well beyond the final page.
What makes this work especially compelling is its vulnerability. Rachel does not position herself as a heroic or enlightened parent; instead, she interrogates her own blind spots, assumptions, and failures. Over the course of eight tense hours at the police station, memories surface that reveal the emotional terrain of raising a Black son as a white mother in a racially stratified society. The narrative becomes less about a single arrest and more about systemic inequities, generational fear, and the painful realization that love alone is not enough to shield a child from racism.
The prose is sharp, reflective, and intimate reminiscent of confessional literary memoirs that privilege interiority and moral self examination. Yet beneath the introspection runs a steady current of urgency, making the book feel both literary and immediate. Rachel’s questioning of her competence, her understanding of race, and her hope for her son’s forgiveness creates a reading experience that is emotionally demanding and profoundly necessary.
Seeking Forgiveness is not a comfortable book but it is an important one. It invites readers into an honest reckoning with race, privilege, and the limits of intention, ensuring its impact lingers well beyond the final page.
March 5, 2026
Seeking Forgiveness by Lea Rachel is a deeply moving and thought provoking narrative that explores the emotional complexities of motherhood, identity, and interracial adoption in contemporary America.
Told through the perspective of Rachel, a white mother raising her Black son, the story unfolds during a tense and emotionally charged night when she receives a call that her son Miles has been arrested. As she struggles to help him, Rachel reflects on their journey together, confronting difficult questions about race, privilege, and the responsibilities of parenthood.
The novel’s strength lies in its honesty and vulnerability. Lea Rachel thoughtfully examines the challenges of interracial adoption while offering a powerful exploration of love, regret, and the desire for understanding and forgiveness. The narrative invites readers to consider the complicated realities that shape family relationships and personal identity.
Compelling and emotionally resonant, Seeking Forgiveness is a meaningful read that will stay with readers long after the final page.
Told through the perspective of Rachel, a white mother raising her Black son, the story unfolds during a tense and emotionally charged night when she receives a call that her son Miles has been arrested. As she struggles to help him, Rachel reflects on their journey together, confronting difficult questions about race, privilege, and the responsibilities of parenthood.
The novel’s strength lies in its honesty and vulnerability. Lea Rachel thoughtfully examines the challenges of interracial adoption while offering a powerful exploration of love, regret, and the desire for understanding and forgiveness. The narrative invites readers to consider the complicated realities that shape family relationships and personal identity.
Compelling and emotionally resonant, Seeking Forgiveness is a meaningful read that will stay with readers long after the final page.
April 11, 2023
Thank you to GoodReads for the free copy of this book.
This is a heartbreaking story of a white woman who has adopted a black son without realizing the obstacles she will face. It is apparent from the beginning how deeply she loves her son and only wants the best for him. However, with a lack of knowledge of overt and hidden racism, knowing the right path is almost impossible.
This is not a long read but does pack a gut wrenching punch, especially for those of us who are white but have never experienced racism and are in denial of the harm that it causes.
This is a heartbreaking story of a white woman who has adopted a black son without realizing the obstacles she will face. It is apparent from the beginning how deeply she loves her son and only wants the best for him. However, with a lack of knowledge of overt and hidden racism, knowing the right path is almost impossible.
This is not a long read but does pack a gut wrenching punch, especially for those of us who are white but have never experienced racism and are in denial of the harm that it causes.
September 26, 2022
This was beautifully written. However, the "voice" of the mother made her seem so naive, so stupid, so not on the planet, so divorced from reality, that it was hard to read the book. I finished it, but got bored half way through so skimmed till the end. Hard to relate to this person.
April 23, 2023
Very insightful story
May 30, 2023
Very well written. Emotionally true. Realistically devastating.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews