Not if, When: What Happened the Day Before Tomorrow

by Jim Harrison

Not if, When… might seem to be a bawdy tale - the sex bits? Every word is true. It might seem to be about a pandemic that left virtually no survivors … and the last six alive as they fight to give mankind a new beginning.
It will make you laugh - unless your SOH never made it out of the womb - it will make you weep - if your sensibilities aren’t dead.
But it is really about the fractured nature of the human psyche and how its disparate elements wage war on each other to gain a voice.
If you read, be aware that your life will never be the same, that you will be changed, not like “I gotta dose o‘ clap” more like “I see the light.”


Meet the survivors …

Harry, the “wished-he’d-been a” libertine …
Anita, jiu-jitsu master and quipper de luxe …
Tegan, the beautiful celeb who, jilted tried suicide…
K, the Polish lollipop lady and comedienne snatched by “The Ghost,” St Alban’s latest serial abductor …
Mark Anthony, once the richest man in Britain ...
Jason N‘Kodo, a young black-skinned Safari Park animal crapper-picker-upper …
Also - Marmite and Wagon Wheels …
A TWOCing prankster from another dimension …
Pablo Picasso and Alice B Toklas …
The The Virus/eight billion Vagus nerves …
Chris Ryan, SAS icon …
Thisby, member of the Pan-Galactic Inter-Dimensional Truant Squad …
Ulrika, survivor onboard the ISS …
A kebab take-out (that used to be a knocking shop) in Soho …
Tom, mega film star … who escapes - a good deal for just a soft suitcase full of large-denomination loot …
That guy, he leaves white hairs all over the place…
Silas McIlhenney, jilted hermit ...
Thisby and Dave, inter-dimensional junk traders …
Sherlock Holmes, Dr Watson and Inspector Lestrade…
Some monks in a never-visited monastery in the Himalayas …
The bike messenger …
Biffy, strutting oaf in the army…
Biggles, Ginger and Erich Von Stroheim …
The man behind the big red switch …
Soon-to-be-dead Baby Tilly …
There’s also a couple on expedition in the Brazilian jungle who step on a crocodile, not involved in …
Not If, When … etc.

Nowhere is there mention of Maximus Gaius Minimus, Imperial Roman gossip columnist, who in fifteen BC, somehow knew that the date was …”Fifteen BC.”
Maximus Gaius Minimus had noticed that as each year passed, on the new glossy calendar which without fail dropped through his letter box, courtesy of the local estate agent .. Rome wasn’t built in a day - and nor were these bijou condominiums just steps from the Coliseum. Also available - centrally heated villas near Londinium, the next real estate investment hot spot …
… the date went down! 15 BC became 14 BC, became 13 BC. He could hardly wait to see what was going to happen when 00 BC became whatever came next. A mystery then, a mystery now, it remains so; it is un-discussed here.

In the meantime …

Mission Statement. No noun without an adjective.

778 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 24, 2022

About the author

Jim Harrison was born in Grayling, Michigan, to Winfield Sprague Harrison, a county agricultural agent, and Norma Olivia (Wahlgren) Harrison, both avid readers. He married Linda King in 1959 with whom he has two daughters.

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

His awards include National Academy of Arts grants (1967, 68, 69), a Guggenheim Fellowship (1969-70), the Spirit of the West Award from the Mountain & Plains Booksellers Association, and election to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences (2007).

Much of Harrison's writing depicts sparsely populated regions of North America with many stories set in places such as Nebraska's Sand Hills, Michigan's Upper Peninsula, Montana's mountains, and along the Arizona-Mexico border.