Zen oder die Kunst, sich zu verlieben. Ein spiritueller Leitfaden.

by Charlotte Kasl

A handbook for finding love on a spiritual path; but it is more than this. It is an inner awakening to walk into the spiritual path of life and enjoy its simplicty, be ready to address its issues and face its obstacles whilst learning how to receive and give, deal with losses and simply be oneself without any agenda! Bottom line it is learning how to share with loved ones whilst being true to ourselves! It is practical, playful and spiritually sound...

Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Charlotte Sophia Kasl, PhD, is a U.S. psychologist and author.

She pioneered the 16-Steps for Discovery and Empowerment as an alternative to the Twelve-step program for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems.

She wrote several books based on some aspects of Sufi, Quaker, and Buddhist spiritual beliefs and traditions.

Reviews

[Marcy Rae Henry · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5
where the heck did my previous notes go? well guess I got to be zen about it...

I'd originally said that a lot of things in the book are rudimentary, at times introductory for people who have not studied Buddhism, but most people don't study how to be in relationships, so I appreciate the book and anything that intros people to Buddhism and a practice of observance and compassion.

a few great lines (lots are quotes from others):
'the spiritual path wrecks the body and afterwards restores it to health. it destroys the house to unearth the treasure, and with that treasure build it better than before.'
--Rumi from 'like this'

'it takes a considerable period of time in growing, reciprocal, loving union for a body to stop creating an epinephrine high and secrete oxytoxin instead, which means that many people have never had the experience of intense intimacy...'

don't know if I agree with the last part bc a mere sexual encounter can be intense, but it's interesting that our bodies go from producing the one hormone and start producing the other one, which is also the mothering and pet hormone. the two seem contrary to each other but moments of each be cool.

2021, still looking for guidance with grieving, so this struck me: 'grieving is completed when we can remember a person peacefully, appreciating what we learned from him or her. we no longer feel the gut wrenching emptiness when we walk into the place where we live together or feel intense sorrow when we wake up and remember they are gone.'

oh yeah, that reminds me that I originally commented on how much I appreciated this wasn't just a heteronormative book and found that impressive as it was first copyrighted in 1992.

'at a deeper level, being in the closet is completely contrary to the spiritual path, because it is a profound denial of who we are and automatically means being embroiled in a web of secretiveness at work, with family common friends.'

'if we realize that our ego creates soap operas to drown out the deeper dilemmas of existence, we can relax, be still, follow our breath and watch our melodrama from a distance.'

'if we fear disconnected from our center, we can fear just about anything.'

I recently re-read a good chunk of the 'Tibetan book of the Dead' and want to reread the 'Tibetan book of living and dying,' esp the part that talks about tonglin. I like this book's approach to imagining the hurt and suffering of others as hot black smoke and breathing that in, transforming and breathing it out instead of doing it the other way (which I've seen presented before). it's approach is to always be Buddhist, even if it's imagining this meditation of converting negativity into positivity and light. on

(not sure how helpful it is as a guide to finding being staying in love, perhaps I was just in the mind state to focus on the other things and see the universal love.)

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Refreshing, fun stories of finding rejuvenation in centering ourselves, finding humility, cleanliness of mind, body, and spirit. Especially fun to read stories of the mysteries of self discovery in relationship. Of course, finding love means finding myself. Good love is intricately interwoven with good nourishment and cleanliness: body, mind, spirit; good manners, good demeanor. An especially good read when struggling with the mysteries of our own difficulties.

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that I know I will need to read again in order to fully process all the knowledge & information it contains.

There were times I found this book to be very amusing to read and other times when reading it caused me great pain.

Filled with practical tips, examples & anecdotes this book is for those who wish to approach a relationship and help turn it into a warm, loving, spiritual partnership.

[Joëlle · Rating 4 out of 5]

In process... but in a nutshell all in life evolves around us: our will to live it fully whilst being true to ourselves...

[Kieran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good. Do take time to read and meditate.