What do you think?
Rate this book
The Western Lands and All That Really Matters #5
The Eastie Threat
She’s settling into the throne. But how can she wage war with a military that only knows how to parade?
Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III’s senses are a tad dented. Suffering from a blurry eye and a buzzing in her ear from her recent use of magic, the freshly ascended monarch is still struggling to figure out how best to reign. So when her eastern enemies seize part of her territory, the overwhelmed royal is distraught to discover that, after decades of peace, her army doesn’t know how to fight.
With invaders having annexed the land by moving the wall between realms, Queen Eloise sets about recruiting experienced champions to whip her soldiers into shape. But with funds tight and her council of advisors losing faith, the beleaguered ruler fears the only solution may be to parlay with the conquerors.
Can Queen Eloise navigate a political nightmare to preserve the queendom?
The Eastie Threat is the dastardly droll fifth book in The Western Lands and All That Really Matters humorous fantasy series. If you like characters seriously out of their depth, bizarre magic, and perfectly pointed prose, then you’ll love Andrew Einspruch’s regally rich caper.
Read The Eastie Threat to stop the ghastly incursion today!
Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III’s senses are a tad dented. Suffering from a blurry eye and a buzzing in her ear from her recent use of magic, the freshly ascended monarch is still struggling to figure out how best to reign. So when her eastern enemies seize part of her territory, the overwhelmed royal is distraught to discover that, after decades of peace, her army doesn’t know how to fight.
With invaders having annexed the land by moving the wall between realms, Queen Eloise sets about recruiting experienced champions to whip her soldiers into shape. But with funds tight and her council of advisors losing faith, the beleaguered ruler fears the only solution may be to parlay with the conquerors.
Can Queen Eloise navigate a political nightmare to preserve the queendom?
The Eastie Threat is the dastardly droll fifth book in The Western Lands and All That Really Matters humorous fantasy series. If you like characters seriously out of their depth, bizarre magic, and perfectly pointed prose, then you’ll love Andrew Einspruch’s regally rich caper.
Read The Eastie Threat to stop the ghastly incursion today!
468 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 18, 2022
3 people are currently reading
7 people want to read
About the author
Andrew Einspruch
100 books146 followersGet a free novella, The Wombanditos
Get your free copy of The Wombanditos, a prequel to the Western Lands and All That Really Matters series. Click here: http://BookHip.com/FLNZSB
About Andrew Einspruch
Andrew is the award-winning author of the humorous fantasy series The Western Lands and All That Really Matters, as well as more than 120 books for primary-aged readers, both fiction and non-fiction. First published in the 1990s, Andrew's work has covered everything from basketball to DNA, from biographies to histories to mysteries, from outback heroes to Christmas Island red crabs, and from how the rides work at amusement parks to how the Australian Government works (that, perhaps the greatest mystery of all).
Andrew is an ex-pat Texan living in Australia, and is the co-founder of the not-for-profit charity the Billie Dean Deep Peace Trust (http://deeppeacetrust.com), which fosters deep peace for all species.
If pressed, he'll deny he ever programmed in COBOL for a bank.
Please visit http://andreweinspruch.com and say “howdy.”
Get your free copy of The Wombanditos, a prequel to the Western Lands and All That Really Matters series. Click here: http://BookHip.com/FLNZSB
About Andrew Einspruch
Andrew is the award-winning author of the humorous fantasy series The Western Lands and All That Really Matters, as well as more than 120 books for primary-aged readers, both fiction and non-fiction. First published in the 1990s, Andrew's work has covered everything from basketball to DNA, from biographies to histories to mysteries, from outback heroes to Christmas Island red crabs, and from how the rides work at amusement parks to how the Australian Government works (that, perhaps the greatest mystery of all).
Andrew is an ex-pat Texan living in Australia, and is the co-founder of the not-for-profit charity the Billie Dean Deep Peace Trust (http://deeppeacetrust.com), which fosters deep peace for all species.
If pressed, he'll deny he ever programmed in COBOL for a bank.
Please visit http://andreweinspruch.com and say “howdy.”
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
September 2, 2022
Following the invasion of the easternmost part of The Western Lands and All That Really Matters, Queen Eloïse Hydra Gumball III needs to amass her armies and do what it takes to avoid all-out war with the Easties.
But when her armies are primarily ceremonial, her closest counsellors spend to much time listening to the gossip heralds, and the realms coffers are on the less-full side, Eloïse discovers how much hard work being a Queen really is.
Meanwhile her twin Johanna, Queen of the Northern Lands, is dealing with budgetary concerns and questionable alliances in order to keep her realm afloat.
This was the most serious book in the Western Lands and All That Really Matters series so far, and we see Eloïse learning strategy and fiscal policy alongside diplomacy and martial arts. That makes it sound like a dull book, but it's anything but dull - there is warmth and humour and the expected little pop-culture references all throughout the book.
I felt The Eastie Threat was reflecting some of the more recent events - most obviously, the invasion of Flachberg has parallels with the invasion of eastern Ukraine (intentional or not); however there were more lighthearted references such as the name of the First Advisor, or cariacture presented by the former fogger and head of the Purple Haze Explorers.
The Western Lands and All That Really Matters series is a "clean" series (no sex, profanity or violence), but this one does include liberal use of alternative non-swear words, arrows and there is some fighting in later chapters.
Eloïse as a character has grown in leaps and bounds from the OCD-driven princess she was in The Purple Haze (and the prequels), and she develops further throughout the course of The Eastie Threat, as she learns to accept help and advice from all quarters.
A thoroughly good read, full of wit and warmth. The Eastie Threat will be released 1 September 2022.
~Many thanks to Andrew Einspruch and Wild Pure Heart Publishers for an advanced copy of The Eastie Threat. This review is my own, unbiased opinion ~
But when her armies are primarily ceremonial, her closest counsellors spend to much time listening to the gossip heralds, and the realms coffers are on the less-full side, Eloïse discovers how much hard work being a Queen really is.
Meanwhile her twin Johanna, Queen of the Northern Lands, is dealing with budgetary concerns and questionable alliances in order to keep her realm afloat.
This was the most serious book in the Western Lands and All That Really Matters series so far, and we see Eloïse learning strategy and fiscal policy alongside diplomacy and martial arts. That makes it sound like a dull book, but it's anything but dull - there is warmth and humour and the expected little pop-culture references all throughout the book.
I felt The Eastie Threat was reflecting some of the more recent events - most obviously, the invasion of Flachberg has parallels with the invasion of eastern Ukraine (intentional or not); however there were more lighthearted references such as the name of the First Advisor, or cariacture presented by the former fogger and head of the Purple Haze Explorers.
The Western Lands and All That Really Matters series is a "clean" series (no sex, profanity or violence), but this one does include liberal use of alternative non-swear words, arrows and there is some fighting in later chapters.
Eloïse as a character has grown in leaps and bounds from the OCD-driven princess she was in The Purple Haze (and the prequels), and she develops further throughout the course of The Eastie Threat, as she learns to accept help and advice from all quarters.
A thoroughly good read, full of wit and warmth. The Eastie Threat will be released 1 September 2022.
~Many thanks to Andrew Einspruch and Wild Pure Heart Publishers for an advanced copy of The Eastie Threat. This review is my own, unbiased opinion ~
October 11, 2022
I am so grateful to have received this book from the author Andrew Einspruch. Honestly, the excitement to read this book ensured that I finish within few days! I think this probably gives away how I felt about the book, but please dive in to read more!!
Genre:
Fantasy, YA Fiction, Series
Plot:
As the Queen Eloise Gumball III is coming to terms with ruling and stabilizing her own position, suddenly discovers that her Eastern counterpart has managed to swoop in and seize a part of her territory!
Already suffering from a blurry eye and buzzing ear, an overwhelmed Eloise discovers that their army is no position to wage a war against the Eastie Queen. As if that is not enough, while she tries to build a team of trusted advisors, situations around her start deteriorating slowly.
Amidst changing situations within the walls of Western Lands and in Northern Lands, battling with her own maladies and jealousy within, handling gossip heralds who seem to tear down, mock her every step - will she able to navigate and find a solution?
Will she be able to reclaim the lands lost and preserve her place as the Queen?
Review:
This book reminded me how much I became invested in this series. With events unfolding one after the other, the author kept me on the edge to find out what happens next. The pace of the book is steady and doesn’t feel heavy at all!
As Queen Eloise is slowly finding her bearings, she finally takes steps to understand various things that is essential for her to not only become better queen but also tackle the problems that have now landed on her doorstep. What kind of queen she wishes to be seemed to be undercurrent theme. This book manages to show how different she is from her mother. From understanding crucial things needed to rule to working on self-defence, from understanding about state of military to peace talk, overcoming stiff opposition, jealousy – Queen Eloise’s growth surprised me so much. In fact, from the previous book there has been remarkable change in her character which is worth reading.
With more characters added, Queen Eloise’s journey gets tougher. The author highlights how difficult it is to be a Queen, which by the end of the book I appreciated so much. There were so many instances when I personally wanted to intervene and make the characters understand Eloise!
Certain familiar characters provide warmth and comic relief to the otherwise slightly serious novel. The author also parallelly shows bit of journey of her twin Queen Johanna which is quite insightful and has larger impact on overall story.
The negative characters are quite impactful. I felt hatred towards the people involved. In short, like the previous book, I felt empathy for and outrage on behalf of Queen Eloise so much. The credit goes to the author for ensuring that I am hooked to it from the start!
With such a gripping ending or should I say cliff-hanger, I can’t wait to read the next (final?) book “The Magic of Last Resort” in this amazing series The Western Lands and All That Really Matters!
Genre:
Fantasy, YA Fiction, Series
Plot:
As the Queen Eloise Gumball III is coming to terms with ruling and stabilizing her own position, suddenly discovers that her Eastern counterpart has managed to swoop in and seize a part of her territory!
Already suffering from a blurry eye and buzzing ear, an overwhelmed Eloise discovers that their army is no position to wage a war against the Eastie Queen. As if that is not enough, while she tries to build a team of trusted advisors, situations around her start deteriorating slowly.
Amidst changing situations within the walls of Western Lands and in Northern Lands, battling with her own maladies and jealousy within, handling gossip heralds who seem to tear down, mock her every step - will she able to navigate and find a solution?
Will she be able to reclaim the lands lost and preserve her place as the Queen?
Review:
This book reminded me how much I became invested in this series. With events unfolding one after the other, the author kept me on the edge to find out what happens next. The pace of the book is steady and doesn’t feel heavy at all!
As Queen Eloise is slowly finding her bearings, she finally takes steps to understand various things that is essential for her to not only become better queen but also tackle the problems that have now landed on her doorstep. What kind of queen she wishes to be seemed to be undercurrent theme. This book manages to show how different she is from her mother. From understanding crucial things needed to rule to working on self-defence, from understanding about state of military to peace talk, overcoming stiff opposition, jealousy – Queen Eloise’s growth surprised me so much. In fact, from the previous book there has been remarkable change in her character which is worth reading.
With more characters added, Queen Eloise’s journey gets tougher. The author highlights how difficult it is to be a Queen, which by the end of the book I appreciated so much. There were so many instances when I personally wanted to intervene and make the characters understand Eloise!
Certain familiar characters provide warmth and comic relief to the otherwise slightly serious novel. The author also parallelly shows bit of journey of her twin Queen Johanna which is quite insightful and has larger impact on overall story.
The negative characters are quite impactful. I felt hatred towards the people involved. In short, like the previous book, I felt empathy for and outrage on behalf of Queen Eloise so much. The credit goes to the author for ensuring that I am hooked to it from the start!
With such a gripping ending or should I say cliff-hanger, I can’t wait to read the next (final?) book “The Magic of Last Resort” in this amazing series The Western Lands and All That Really Matters!
June 29, 2024
With Queen Eloise still trying to figure out how to go about queening, she gets a surprise from her fellow monarch of the East, Queen Aglandau. The nerve of her to do that! Do what? Please read to find out, it's totally not a normal thing to do!
Backing up a bit, The Eastie Threat is the fifth installment in The Western Lands and All That Really Matters series. This volume mainly centers on Eloise's ups and downs in the queening department.
With what started as an insidious move from the Eastie queen to blatant declaration of aggression in the end as the cherry on top.
And Eloise had to navigate disgruntled courtiers, the ins and outs of a healthy coffer, a joke of an army, a precariously close to total chaos castle drama and that strange move from her own sister Johanna (Was it intentional? Was it a hindsight? Why? What? Who?).
This is the most serious of the series yet, but the fun was still there. I'm glad I got to see more of everyone here; you're so precious, RoyLee! There's a lot of for the sake of the queendom stuff going on and it was all written so masterfully that the graveness of the matter was still managed to be conveyed clearly in an entertaining way. The way Andrew walked Eloise (and us) through everything doesn't bore me even one bit!
The titular threat, Queen Aglandau was so annoyingly good at her job of threatening. That wall move was brilliant at getting under Eloise's skin. The Eastie Threat ends with everything spelling 'doom, ahoy!' I'm excited to read the final installment of the series, The Magic of Last Resort. The 'last resort' bit sure promises more thrilling things to come, don't you think?
Backing up a bit, The Eastie Threat is the fifth installment in The Western Lands and All That Really Matters series. This volume mainly centers on Eloise's ups and downs in the queening department.
With what started as an insidious move from the Eastie queen to blatant declaration of aggression in the end as the cherry on top.
And Eloise had to navigate disgruntled courtiers, the ins and outs of a healthy coffer, a joke of an army, a precariously close to total chaos castle drama and that strange move from her own sister Johanna (Was it intentional? Was it a hindsight? Why? What? Who?).
This is the most serious of the series yet, but the fun was still there. I'm glad I got to see more of everyone here; you're so precious, RoyLee! There's a lot of for the sake of the queendom stuff going on and it was all written so masterfully that the graveness of the matter was still managed to be conveyed clearly in an entertaining way. The way Andrew walked Eloise (and us) through everything doesn't bore me even one bit!
The titular threat, Queen Aglandau was so annoyingly good at her job of threatening. That wall move was brilliant at getting under Eloise's skin. The Eastie Threat ends with everything spelling 'doom, ahoy!' I'm excited to read the final installment of the series, The Magic of Last Resort. The 'last resort' bit sure promises more thrilling things to come, don't you think?
September 9, 2022
Note: I received an ARC and this is an honest, voluntary review.
What a whirlwind this book was! Not only is Eloise still adjusting to her role as queen, but the entirety of The Eastie Threat has tension building under the usual humor and heartfelt moments.
And boy does it work! I had to stop reading before the climax, and I found myself daydreaming about what might happen next. I was that into the story.
There are some really poignant moments in The Eastie Threat, and a lot of my own beliefs about the familiar characters were turned upside-down. We see Eloise learn her mother was a person with flaws, and assert herself in a way that earned many a silent cheer from me, even as it felt she might lose control of her reign at any moment. I think it's fair to say that none of the primary characters emerged from this book the same way.
This is my favorite book I've read in the series yet.
What a whirlwind this book was! Not only is Eloise still adjusting to her role as queen, but the entirety of The Eastie Threat has tension building under the usual humor and heartfelt moments.
And boy does it work! I had to stop reading before the climax, and I found myself daydreaming about what might happen next. I was that into the story.
There are some really poignant moments in The Eastie Threat, and a lot of my own beliefs about the familiar characters were turned upside-down. We see Eloise learn her mother was a person with flaws, and assert herself in a way that earned many a silent cheer from me, even as it felt she might lose control of her reign at any moment. I think it's fair to say that none of the primary characters emerged from this book the same way.
This is my favorite book I've read in the series yet.
August 23, 2022
Andrew Einspruch’s fifth book in The Western Lands and All that Really Matters pre-release became available to reviewers I couldn’t wait to read it. I’ve loved the first four books and the intrinsic way he embeds subtle humor throughout the storyline. The Eastie Threat delivers another action-packed fantasy plot with beloved anthropomorphic characters fans have come to know well.
In The Eastie Threat, the story picks up with teenage Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III on the throne facing challenges at every turn. Some are annoying challenges like adequate but not good food created by her new chef, but she is faced with big problems and puzzles that consume her thoughts as she tries to learn how to be the Queen.
She is still trying to figure out who killed her mother, and almost no one else seems interested. The advisors she depends on don’t seem to be serving her well or is that her imagination? Plus she has the distraction of a blurry eye and buzzing ear, a left-over side effect from her use of magic to help figure out what she needs to do. If that isn’t enough, the coup de grâce is a threat from Eastern Lands Queen Aglandau when she takes the Western Lands town of Flatchburg. She even relocates the Adequate Wall of the Realms to create a new boundary.
Einspruch delivers another well-paced page-turner in the Eastie Threat. Young Queen Eloise is a royal underdog you can root for. Her army is not prepared to meet the threat. Her support staff is inadequate, and she finds out her realm isn’t financially ready to handle everything that needs to be done. While overwhelmed she doesn’t give up, and with each challenge and even her failures, the reader can see the young woman’s underlying strength and at times wisdom.
I recommend The Eastie Threat to anyone who enjoys YA fantasy filled with conundrums, strong female protagonists, and humor (often when you least expect it). I enjoyed that Einspruch brought the original band of characters introduced in The Purple Haze back together for this adventure. The one thing that disappointed me with this book is that it wasn’t quite as funny as the others, but the fact he could fit humor into a book at all with the Queen facing so many problems is an incredible feat. I give this book 5 stars, and I am looking forward to reading book six.
As Book Hookup, I am a long-time book reviewer and I received this book as a free review copy and have not been compensated for reviewing or recommending it.
In The Eastie Threat, the story picks up with teenage Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III on the throne facing challenges at every turn. Some are annoying challenges like adequate but not good food created by her new chef, but she is faced with big problems and puzzles that consume her thoughts as she tries to learn how to be the Queen.
She is still trying to figure out who killed her mother, and almost no one else seems interested. The advisors she depends on don’t seem to be serving her well or is that her imagination? Plus she has the distraction of a blurry eye and buzzing ear, a left-over side effect from her use of magic to help figure out what she needs to do. If that isn’t enough, the coup de grâce is a threat from Eastern Lands Queen Aglandau when she takes the Western Lands town of Flatchburg. She even relocates the Adequate Wall of the Realms to create a new boundary.
Einspruch delivers another well-paced page-turner in the Eastie Threat. Young Queen Eloise is a royal underdog you can root for. Her army is not prepared to meet the threat. Her support staff is inadequate, and she finds out her realm isn’t financially ready to handle everything that needs to be done. While overwhelmed she doesn’t give up, and with each challenge and even her failures, the reader can see the young woman’s underlying strength and at times wisdom.
I recommend The Eastie Threat to anyone who enjoys YA fantasy filled with conundrums, strong female protagonists, and humor (often when you least expect it). I enjoyed that Einspruch brought the original band of characters introduced in The Purple Haze back together for this adventure. The one thing that disappointed me with this book is that it wasn’t quite as funny as the others, but the fact he could fit humor into a book at all with the Queen facing so many problems is an incredible feat. I give this book 5 stars, and I am looking forward to reading book six.
As Book Hookup, I am a long-time book reviewer and I received this book as a free review copy and have not been compensated for reviewing or recommending it.
August 16, 2022
The kinds of books that amaze me most are the kinds that are about nothing.
If I had to describe this book to you, it would be “the time Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III got ready to face the Eastie Queen.” How can one possibly fill 400 pages with a story like that? The actual speaking to the Queen is in the final few chapters of the book. But instead of sending us on a slog through nothing, Einspruch excels at giving every moment the proper weight, charm, and jokes. I never felt like a single moment was wasted—Einspruch spent time introducing new characters, growing the world, and making an impact on Eloise’s character and the fate of her kingdom.
I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but I really mean it every time when I say that I cannot wait for the next book. Einspruch has set up a number of conflicts and ideas that I have to see conclude, and hopefully soon!
If I had to describe this book to you, it would be “the time Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III got ready to face the Eastie Queen.” How can one possibly fill 400 pages with a story like that? The actual speaking to the Queen is in the final few chapters of the book. But instead of sending us on a slog through nothing, Einspruch excels at giving every moment the proper weight, charm, and jokes. I never felt like a single moment was wasted—Einspruch spent time introducing new characters, growing the world, and making an impact on Eloise’s character and the fate of her kingdom.
I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but I really mean it every time when I say that I cannot wait for the next book. Einspruch has set up a number of conflicts and ideas that I have to see conclude, and hopefully soon!
January 28, 2024
This book is hands down the most rewarding book of the series if your favourite character is Eloise.
Eloise has already been crowned Queen but her adventures are far from over. The dangers dangling over her reign are ever-present but here you truly see Eloise grow into the role of a leader that's navigating through the issues of the kingdom.
While book four delved into the loneliness faced by her as she starts her reign with her mother dead, her sister and father far off in a different kingdom - this book sees Eloise form bonds beyond her trusted circle of friends. Reading her interactions with her advisors is a delight. We also see her rigorously train her physical and magical abilities which is no mean feat for her.
The second in a three part act, the ending is not a complete end to the storyline but the progress in her hero's journey makes it a satisfying read.
Eloise has already been crowned Queen but her adventures are far from over. The dangers dangling over her reign are ever-present but here you truly see Eloise grow into the role of a leader that's navigating through the issues of the kingdom.
While book four delved into the loneliness faced by her as she starts her reign with her mother dead, her sister and father far off in a different kingdom - this book sees Eloise form bonds beyond her trusted circle of friends. Reading her interactions with her advisors is a delight. We also see her rigorously train her physical and magical abilities which is no mean feat for her.
The second in a three part act, the ending is not a complete end to the storyline but the progress in her hero's journey makes it a satisfying read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 18, 2022
Sometimes it's the one we trust the most
All is not well in the world for Queen Eloise Gumball lll. I stayed up way into the night every night reading this book. A wonderful story of persistence, faith and trust. Fantastic world building! I can't wait to read what happens next!
All is not well in the world for Queen Eloise Gumball lll. I stayed up way into the night every night reading this book. A wonderful story of persistence, faith and trust. Fantastic world building! I can't wait to read what happens next!
March 18, 2024
I read all 6 books in this series back-to-back. This is a fantasy world with silly word play, dad jokes, talking animals that seem to all be vegan, and lots of over-the-top humor that I enjoyed very much. There are TONS of gags (constantly - not a page is turned without humor) but the underlying story is about love, duty, friendship, personal responsibility and openheartedness. It's a lovely series centered around a 17 year old princess in a time of horse and carriage travel and weakening magic. In book 1-3, the story is about the princess's quest to rescue her kidnapped sister, capturing the bad guy, and what to do about the deadly purple haze. Books 4-6 are about the princess suddenly, sadly, inheriting the crown and not being prepared for that, dealing with invasion and an olive tree blight, and finding a true win-win for the realms. The series has heart and left we smiling, and even chuckling out loud.
April 4, 2024
It took me a while to finish this one. It was really hard, maybe I forgot I was reading a book and put myself in this young Queen's shoes. Yes she's allowed to make mistakes but at what cost? Her character was tested over and over again. What was really expected of someone newly on the throne, who were those with great expectations?
How do you rule subjects who are still hung up on the past and have no faith in You?
There's just a lot going on here and it's not getting better, yet.
How do you rule subjects who are still hung up on the past and have no faith in You?
There's just a lot going on here and it's not getting better, yet.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews