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Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist: Essential Tools for Improving or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships

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Do you feel trapped between your love and your pain, long for peace but feel exhausted, belittled, and confused by a narcissist?

The core problem in relationships with narcissists is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it. Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist is unique among voices that exhort leaving a narcissist. It’s insightful, researched, and empathetic and offers hope and help for loved ones to restore their self-esteem and rebalance a narcissistic relationship.

It includes Essential Tools for Staying or Leaving Narcissistic and Abusive Relationships and provides an in-depth analysis of the relationship, how to make changes, and how to assess its prognosis.

This workbook is packed with healing exercises and checklists to enlighten and motivate you. It suggests lists of actions, including a strategic, step-by-step plan with scripts to confront abuse and get your needs met. You will reclaim yourself and improve your relationship, whether the narcissist is your partner, parent, child, sibling, or co-worker or doesn’t have a narcissistic personality disorder. In sum, you will better your relationship with yourself and your loved one and be able to determine whether and how to leave the relationship. You will:

• Discover the diagnosis, type, and deep motivations of a narcissist
• Recognize the red flag when dating a narcissist and know what to do
• Identify narcissistic behavior and know how to handle it
• Understand your role and attraction to a narcissist
• Regain your autonomy and self-esteem
• Rebalance the power in the relationship
• Learn how to confront abuse effectively
• Be able to assess your relationship and be prepared to leave

198 pages, Paperback

Published April 6, 2022

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About the author

Darlene Lancer

14 books78 followers
I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist and author of "Dating, Loving, and Leaving a Narcissist," "Codependency for Dummies, "Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Free Your True Self," and 7 ebooks: "How to Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits," "Spiritual Transformation in the Twelve Steps," "Freedom from Guilt and Blame - Finding Self-Forgiveness," "Dealing with a Narcissist - 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People," "Codependency Daily Reflections," "I'm Not Perfect - I'm Only Human," - How to Beat Perfectionism, and "10 Steps to Self-Esteem." PDF's of all ebooks are available on my website and in other formats at online booksellers.

I specialize in relationships, narcissism, and codependency, and have treated individuals and couples for over 35 years. Enjoy articles, blogs, and a Free PDF, "14 Tips for Letting Go," at my site, www.whatiscodependency.com. You can join the journey at www.facebook.com/codependencyrecovery, or follow me on Twitter @darlenelancer, Instagram @darlenelancerLMFT, and Youtube.

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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
Profile Image for Jackie Zamow.
34 reviews
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December 25, 2023
I think this is a really good book to start with, especially if you are discussing it with someone. There are parts of this book that I disagree with, such as codepedence always being caused by something from your parents and the implication that you are responsible for the behavior that you tolerate. But it was a really good primer on what a narcissist is, why you can't change them, and how to leave them.
Profile Image for JERI SULLINS.
165 reviews
February 21, 2023
Already Gone

This book is a must read for anyone living with a narcissistic mate. I knew my codependent self was an issue in my marriage but did not know how to set boundaries with him. I am happy, at peace and free now. This book also helps me be able to respond to him. Thank you
Profile Image for Connie.
158 reviews4 followers
January 19, 2025
Excellent book for helping me understand the basics of a narcissistic personality disorder. Also helpful for explaining what a partner has to deal with, how they can get out of a bad relationship, and what the aftermath challenges are for recovering and healing. Whether for understanding political leaders or for understanding someone you know personally, the insights are really good.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews