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That Which Makes Us Stronger

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Special needs. Addiction. Divorce. Righteous grandmas. Overwhelmed parents. One kid in the closet and another on the road as a showgirl. How can it all be happening to one family? There's only one sure bet — things will get worse before they get better. Join young Warn Barnes for a bumpy ride through the 1970s and 80s in a sweet, heartfelt and funny story that will make you laugh until you cry. It's all part of That Which Makes Us Stronger.

323 pages, Paperback

Published March 21, 2022

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Greg Triggs

3 books3 followers

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5 stars
29 (72%)
4 stars
8 (20%)
3 stars
3 (7%)
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
1 review3 followers
April 20, 2022
I have put off writing my review of Greg Triggs’ “That Which Makes Us Stronger” for the simple reason that I wanted to wallow in the book and read it again. I also have to make the disclaimer that I know the author (from Church Camp 40 years ago), and I worried before I opened the book that I was gonna have to come up with some generic review (about how nouns and verbs worked well together, and that the characters were characters) if I didn’t like it. I am picky about what I read and if you don’t know me, I READ A LOT. And I do not suffer bad books/writing. Imagine my relief when I started this book and couldn’t stop reading. Now that’s not an unusual occurrence, but this book had me from the first pages. I HAD to know what was coming - WANTED to know what was going on with the characters, and truly enjoyed the prose style in which it grabbed me. I did much more than entertain. It elicited emotional responses.
This book is primarily a roman a clef about a gay boy growing up in the midwest. He has a unique (and challenging) family, amazing friends, and a resiliency that will resonate with many LGBTQ persons of a certain age. Set in the 70’s and 80’s - it is a hilarious and bittersweet return to that time, warts, wounds, and all. Greg has an incredible ability to return to those times without gilding them or excoriating them - you find yourself just…there. That’s not easily done, and he does it with great grace and a lot of pop culture delights.
And the characters. You fall in love with them. You are angry with them. You want to despise several, yet Greg won’t let you. His protagonist, Warn, has a difficult relationship with his father. But instead of becoming a victim, Warn learns very early to learn by example - as in, “I don’t want to be like that.” He has his own flaws, but he learns compassion from a visually impaired sister and a mentally challenged brother. His older step-siblings provide stability, advice, compassion, and fun. And the extended family! I don’t care what part of the country you are in, you KNOW these people! And that’s another of Greg’s gifts. He makes you care about them because you feel as if you know them. Everyone is authentic, as are their stories.
I love his compassion for all people; the almost-hidden gems of spirituality dropped here and there, and squealed when he gave a nod to Moravians (Google us - we’re a small Protestant denomination). As a former Special Ed teacher, I rejoiced at his celebration of the Special Olympics. As a gay woman, I understood much of Warn’s journeys and feelings, and celebrated (and teared-up and cracked up) at every step of his journey. As a reader I cheered his ability to portray everyone from drag queens to softballing lesbians to kindergartners to high school theater nerds realistically instead of caricatures. He makes you laugh, but it is never a cheap laugh. And the tears he evokes are honest too.
His joy and passion and genuine love for people is so evident. Too many writers can’t translate that from their imaginations to the page - but he does it brilliantly. I don’t gush because I know him - I haven’t seen him for almost 40 years. I gush because I’ve found another book that will be read and reread and enjoyed every single time.
As the chip in the table, the gorilla, and clowns become touchstones for Warn to revisit and draw strength from, this story will likewise resonate with readers. That Which Makes Us Stronger is more than a book - it’s a philosophy: one I’m exceptionally glad both Greg and Warn embrace.
ORDER THIS BOOK!
Profile Image for Kathy.
102 reviews
April 20, 2022
I laughed, cried and enjoyed every minute of this story. Greg tells a story of a family that has lots of unique members. A blind sister, special needs brother and a blended family. Then to top it off an alcoholic father that creates added drama to the family dynamics. His mother is a constant in their lives and deals with each situation with grace, patience and love. I think the thing I felt first was that we never know what a person is going through in their life. Treat people with kindness which is the experience that Greg creates with his character Warn.
The second theme is seeing the perseverance that each character had and the experiences that Warn had as a gay man in the 70’s and 80’s. He could have taken the many obstacles he experienced and chosen to let them deter his potential but he chose to find the good in his experiences. He was able to offer forgiveness in his very difficult relationship with his Father. He offers love and sees his family with their faults but also with the beauty each of them was. His relationship with his brother Art is extremely touching and honors the relationship he had with him.
Thanks for a wonderful story Greg.
Profile Image for William  Kibler.
430 reviews3 followers
May 29, 2023
Is it possible to laugh and cry at the same time? YES!

Oh my, what a wonderful book! The author had a gift for writing with true fondness, and infusing wit and snark into almost any situation. Told from the main character's POV, even the most trying of times are described with honesty and a dose of levity. The supporting ensemble are all fully developed. They are always interesting and endearing, if not downright hysterically funny. I laughed a lot while reading this book, but also felt the storyteller's fears and sadness. I cried often, too. This book was a real joy to read. I cannot recommend it highly enough!

NOTE: I don't know if it was a proofreading error or a digital publishing error, but around the 60% mark in the story the capital letter "T" began disappearing from the beginning of many, many sentences where words began with "The"/"They"/"Their"/" That." Very odd.
Profile Image for Dale Stohre.
1 review1 follower
January 22, 2023
Greg Triggs is a new author to me; "That Which Makes Us Stronger" was recommended by a mutual friend. This is an excellent work. While fiction, it doesn't take long to realize that someone--the author--actually lived a journey much like this. He writes with honesty and tenderness: honest about flaws, quirks, fears, and aspirations, but tender and loving toward people who love each other stubbornly, even when falling short. People rise and fall, succeed and fail, but no one is thrown away.
Pure fiction often relies on over-the-top drama. Griggs doesn't need that. It's easy to invent quirky characters. But fleshing out real, unique, multi-layered persons is better, and for the reader far more satisfying. The story is compelling because we've all lived it in some form; we read about a strained relationship, the loss of a job or a parent or sibling, a loved one not quite conquering their addiction, the joys and costs of love and sex, and we remember our own. When the protagonist wrestles with his sexuality in an era unkind to gender-nonconformity, it's either been our own battle, or that of someone(s) we know, and it's liberating to know we're not alone. Well done, Greg. A very satisfying read about that which really does make us stronger.
3 reviews
July 10, 2022
I love novels that take me away into their world; I tumble in and am instantly there, vividly feeling everything around me as if I’m part of the story. My latest adventure took me to Wisconsin for about two and a half weeks. I could have come back sooner, but I was having such a treasured time, I did not want it to end. And even now, as I write this, I want to go back and spend some more time loving these characters.
Greg Triggs novel, That Which Makes Us Stronger is so alive and vibrant, you feel that you are standing right next to Warn Barns as he goes through his childhood into young adult life. So many of the characters in this novel were in my own life growing up. And some of the observations were so droll, so witty, I had to put the book down and just chuckle…and then chuckle again. And then other parts were so painfully beautiful, it was hard to see the words; I was weeping uncontrollably. Greg Triggs, your novel has taken up residence in my heart!

Order this for your bookclub. It will be a great discussion and a book you will add to book shelf!
Profile Image for Austin Gustin-Helms.
144 reviews13 followers
June 12, 2023
The tagline for That Which Makes Us Stronger is “a funny novel about serious things”, and I think that’s 1000% accurate. Greg Triggs’ second novel may be semi-autobiographical, but he’s quick to ensure that it is not a memoir. However, when reading about all the unique and fascinating people and places the protagonist has strutting on and off the stage of his life, one can’t help but wonder how much of this heartwarming story is true (I, for one, hope that every single sibling in his family exists, because I want to be their best friend).

Warn Barnes is the next to youngest in a Brady Bunch-style family of half-siblings. As readers, we get to see him as a precocious 5-year-old starting school in Wisconsin to the post-college man piecing together a bohemian life in Minneapolis. A burgeoning actor, Warn’s world is never dull and while he has his own self-centeredness to overcome, his friends are his warmest supporters. Multiple family tragedies color his life, but as the book promises, this is a comedy. I highly encourage you to laugh and cry along.
Profile Image for Readerswith Heart.
112 reviews19 followers
December 4, 2025
That Which Makes Us Stronger is a beautifully written, emotionally rich story that captures the chaos, love, and resilience of a family facing almost everything life can throw at them. Greg Triggs brings the Barnes family to life with honesty and humor, balancing heavy themes special needs, addiction, divorce, identity, and family conflict with moments that are genuinely laugh-out-loud funny.

What I loved most is how real Warn’s journey feels. You don’t just read it you live through each struggle, awkward moment, and tender discovery with him. The characters are vibrant, flawed, and unforgettable, and the writing keeps you turning pages effortlessly.

This book is a reminder that even when life gets messy or overwhelming there’s always room for hope, humor, and strength. A heartfelt, relatable story that truly earns its title.

Highly recommended for anyone who loves emotional coming-of-age stories filled with warmth, honesty, and unexpected laughter.
Profile Image for Jeff.
195 reviews5 followers
January 16, 2023
If you like Dickens, Sedaris and A Christmas Story, you'll love this heartfelt and funny semi-autobiographical novel about growing up gay in Wisconsin in the 70s, 80s and 90s in a family nothing like those he grew up watching on TV. It's easy to fall in love with the young Warn Barnes as he navigates a turbulent childhood and early adulthood, armed only with his wits, his inherent kindness, and an inner Paul Lynde monologue.

Triggs has a talent for finding the humor in dire situations, but not without acknowledging the grace, beauty and tragedy of ordinary people living sometimes extraordinary lives. That Which Makes Us Stronger inspires the reader to face our pasts, forgive what can be forgiven, and come out the other side kinder, happier and, yes, stronger.
1 review
June 8, 2023
A wonderful memoir about the challenges of being in a family

Greg writes with amazing detail that draws you into his wonderfully complex family's life together. The characters pop off the page and into your heart. There is humor and sadness and this book serves as a beautiful tribute to his brother, whom I wish I had the privilege of ever knowing. The book is very difficult to put down as the author weaves together his story. Congratulations on this novel and thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us all.
40 reviews
May 24, 2023
Different fare for me.

Started reading it because I know the author...finished it because I really enjoyed the book. Laughed, cried, giggled, sniffled. Thanks, Greg, for a really good read!
1 review1 follower
November 11, 2022
A captivating and heartwrenching tale of growing up gay in the 70's and 80's. I laughed, I cried, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews