Infertility Lies: A Journey of Discovering Truth

by Karen Snow

Infertility Lies is an honest and heartfelt book on the struggles of trying to conceive. Dr. Karen Snow, ND shares her story of unexplained infertility with compassion, openness, and strength.

In Infertility Lies, you’ll find:

The ten lies Karen told herself while going through infertility and replacing them with truth to help you process your story
Ideas for navigating this difficult season and how to gently make it to the other side
The importance of boundaries and keeping relationships healthy
Journal and reflection questions to help recognize your worth outside your fertility status
Support to help you process your own personal fertility story
Empowering stories, thoughtful insights, and much more.

In 2013, Karen was ready to expand her family.

With her spirits high and hopes for a baby soaring, the naturopathic doctor embarked on what she thought would be a joyous next chapter. Life was rolling along according to plan. After one month of trying to conceive, Karen was pregnant and could not be more excited.

"If I knew the journey ahead of me at the time, I would never have believed it. Not for me."

Karen miscarried at nine weeks.

It took work to maintain optimism while grieving this life they lost. It was challenging and unexpected. They dusted themselves off and anxiously awaited the next positive pregnancy test that was just around the corner, but it never came.

Having sworn with her husband never to try IVF, Karen’s persistent struggles forced them to consider daunting options. But as countless appointments, medications and procedures left her with feelings of shame, she soon learned that breaking through stigmas surrounding infertility would change her life forever.

Infertility Lies is a book of insights to help you navigate this difficult process. With a focus on keeping the process positive, interactive components, and introspective challenges, you’ll embrace much-deserved self-empathy while tackling the road ahead with confidence and pride.

Kindle Edition

Published February 17, 2022

About the author

Karen Snow is a naturopathic doctor who is passionate about all aspects of improving the health of others. She loves supporting others on their health journeys for them to thrive. Along her family-building journey, she found herself experiencing infertility without a roadmap on how to navigate the complexities. The hope of offering support to others sharing this experience prompted the writing of this book.

She lives on a farm in rural Ontario with her husband Erik, son Pete, and their chocolate lab, Buddy.

Reviews

[Nicole Carey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything I needed to hear and feel validated. Infertility is lonely & I loved hearing that how I feel is normal, ok and I'm going to make it through. If you're reading this and are dealing with infertility - please know you're not alone. If you're reading this and know someone who is dealing with infertility - reach out to them and support them. It's a dark journey for most and we need to be reminded that we are loved, worthy and not forgotten about. If you're reading this and didn't know I was dealing with infertility, WELCOME! Life has twists and turns you will never understand but I love this path, the empathy I've gained in this sphere, the knowledge I've equipped myself with to help others I come in contact with and most importantly the beauty it has brought to my marriage by digging deep and communicating on levels you never thought possible. And of course for my fur baby HANK WINSTON, only God knew we needed you on this journey. LOVE THIS BOOK!!! It took a long time to finish it because it was so real and raw but it was everything I needed. Thank you.

[Liv · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful and Hopeful

As someone who has been infertile for 6 years so far, this book was so helpful. It was soothing in all the ways I needed it to be but also inspiring. It gave me lots of permission to feel all the feelings of infertility but also challenged me not to live forever in those feelings. A very healthy and helpful balance. Very well-written. I feel seen and understood. I know I’m not alone. And I’m encouraged that there is hope to be found even here—in the middle of infertility.

[Dora · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is really amazing. It is basically a guide on how to navigate the experience of infertility with a lot of tips on how to cope better in this grueling time in one woman (and couple)s life. I got the chance to read it before publication, I recommend it to people going through infertility but also to friends and family, it really is a complete book. Recommend strongly

[Abby Eaux · Rating 5 out of 5]

I connected with Dr. Snow on instagram and we have a lot in common. This book is beautifully written and full of empathy and self-reflection.

[Lisa O'Kane · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Infertility Lies: A Journey of Discovering Truth" by Dr. Karen Snow is a must-read for anyone going through the emotional rollercoaster of infertility. The author's personal story of miscarriage and the struggles that followed is so relatable and will make you feel like you're not alone in this journey.

What I loved most about this book is the focus on positivity and self-empathy. Dr. Snow provides practical tips and interactive exercises to help you navigate this difficult time and come out on the other side with confidence.

The ten falsehoods that she helps readers to unlearn are eye-opening and will change the way you look at your fertility journey. And the journal and reflection questions are a great way to redetermine your worth outside of your fertility status.

This book is filled with empowering stories and thoughtful insights that will make you feel understood and validated. I highly recommend it to anyone going through infertility; it's like having a supportive friend by your side. Five stars for sure!

[Julia Dailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Infertility Lies: A Journey of Discovering Truth is what I needed to read in my current season. I was able to connect with Karen Snow's story. I not only felt validated in my own emotions, stresses, and experiences, but I also got some great tips for navigating it all. Snow reminds her readers how resilient we are and the personal growth we experience while facing these unknown and uncontrollable outcomes. If you are going through infertility, I highly recommend this book.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author of this book reached out to me through my IVF/infertility Instagram account to share her book and her story. Our experiences through fertility treatments are different, but we are part of the same community and have many things in common including tests, treatments, and emotional struggles. Karen Snow uses her book to share about her own experiences with infertility and the creation of her family, to talk about specific struggles she faced while in the pits of it all, to talk about lessons she has learned about herself along the way, and to offer advice for those with infertility diagnoses, and there are a few pages with advice for support people.

Karen carefully explains that each person will have their own unique set of tests, treatment protocols, outcomes, and struggles, and as a result not every part of her book will resonate with every reader. This is true, and at times I disagreed or didn't feel a connection to her interpretation of lessons. HOWEVER! I very much appreciate the headspace she is sharing this information from. Idk if Karen participated in therapy, did her own self exploration with self help books, or is just a natural with the emotional healing process, but she shares about infertility from a healed place. So many women in the infertility community (especially on Instagram) struggle with the things she talks about, and could benefit from hearing from someone seemingly on the other side.

I've read quite a few books about this topic and I don't say this lightly: everyone should read this book if infertility is somehow in their life.

[Alexia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest and insightful. I think this would be really helpful for friends and family to read as they look to support.

[Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved this

I really enjoyed reading this book and found many parts comforting. Karen’s writing style feels as if your having a conversation with a friend and I quickly found myself wanting to highlight almost all the passages in the book! I especially loved the question prompts at the end of the chapters to help reframe my mindset and reflect on my experiences and feelings about my losses. When I’m feeling down about things it will be nice to return to this book again in the future to re read some of my favorite highlighted parts.

[Lacey Fatura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had found Dr Snow on Instagram and immediately connected to her content. Her book is beautifully written and I’m incredibly grateful for her sharing her journey. As an individual currently going through fertility treatments this book helped shed light and validation to emotions I’ve been feeling guilty for having.

I could have easily continued to read through each chapter but decided to allow myself to soak in the content of each section and truly reflect on how I was feeling and communicating this with my husband. It has truly helped me understand the process and have faith in our own fertility journey.

Cannot recommend this enough to those experiencing fertility struggles but also to those who know someone close to them also going through their struggles. Being able to truly understand where their emotions are and their journey will only give them unconditional support.

[Elle Margetson · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the interest of transparency, I was kindly gifted early access to this book by Dr Karen Snow, however my words are my own and are not biased.
As a woman with infertility struggles and a therapist for women who struggle with infertility, child loss and pregnancy loss, I found this book so helpful!
Dr Karen was so relatable throughout. Her words were refreshing to hear, and really made me feel seen, heard and understood.
I thoroughly enjoyed this read. And I will be encouraging my patients to read too.
If you’re struggling with infertility and the mental and physical impact the journey can take on us, give this a read, you won’t regret it.

[Payal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from the author but I had been planning on buying it regardless. Infertility Lies is a great little book to help you with your mental health through a grueling infertility journey. I loved the little tips and prompts that the author gave at the end of each chapter. It allowed me to really think about actionable things I could do to help myself. I also liked that the concepts outlined apply to all difficult walks of life, for me I think this would have been great through treatments and IVF, but also was powerful in navigating life after the death of my son who was born prematurely. I also will come back to it once I’m ready to start trying to conceive again.

[Meghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I connected with Dr. Karen Snow on social media, and I found her story to be one of the more heartfelt and relatable I’ve come across on the subject of infertility. The book was not necessarily informational/clinical, more like reading someone’s journal, which I enjoyed. She encourages journaling and answering questions along the way. I can see myself coming back to those sections at a later date as I navigate different seasons and feelings of my own infertility.

[L · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr Karen Snow kindly reached out to me on Instagram and her book came in my life at a time I needed it. If you are experiencing infertility, this book is worth taking the time to read. Honest and reflective and a reminder that you are not alone.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr Karen Snow captures the feeling of being on the fertility journey with its ups and downs so well. I’m only a few chapters into the book but am very much looking forward to reading on and hearing of her experience as well as learning from her wisdom.

[Lori McLean · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is beautifully written, a must read for anyone experiencing infertility or baby loss. The journal prompts are great really help you reflect on your own experience.

[Raquel · Rating 5 out of 5]

a book that shows us clearly and without judgment the journey of fertility. It was an incredible discovery both personally and professionally.

[Louise Bourne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book for anyway who is going through infertility. It talks about the loneliness, exhaustion and grief that you can feel when you are battling infertility and going through the emotional rollercoaster of IVF. It gives important advice about how to set boundaries particularly when talking about infertility with other people and avoiding triggers. Infertility is an overwhelming experience that can led to depression, anxiety and stress. This book will be useful if you are trying to cope with infertility.

[Morgan H Marianelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

An encouraging and affirming read

Aside from a few minor editing issues, this was definitely a five star read for me. It came into my life just when I needed it. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for nearly two years and embarked on our infertility treatment journey a few months ago. Dr. Snow touched on all the confusing mixed feelings that have accompanied me on this journey. Highly recommend for anyone experiencing infertility.

[Ally · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really great book! I would definitely recommend this to anyone supporting others going through infertility, or someone looking for direct understanding about what to expect during IUI or IVF and the emotional and mental toll it can take on you and your partner.

[Kayla Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Karen Snow put everything I have been feeling, every thought I have had, every lie I have been told (or told myself), into a book. Infertility Lies is brutally honest and beautiful all at the same time. If you or someone you know is fighting through the battles of infertility, I highly encourage you to read this.

[James W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Boasting the tagline, “Heartfelt and compassionate,” Dr. Karen Snow’s ‘Infertility Lies: A Journey of Discovering Truth’ is a must-read for any and all parents-to-be.

At its core, ‘Infertility Lies’ is a first-hand account of one woman’s journey down the long and winding road of infertility. Self-described as ‘blindly optimistic,’ Snow’s story began with a pregnancy. Considering how quickly it happened, the naturopathic doctor and her husband were overjoyed until a miscarriage derailed their plans. In the wake of what can only be described as a traumatic experience, the couple doubled down and decided to try again. Unfortunately, trying to get pregnant ‘again’ stretched the limits of their patience. Like so many, Snow and her husband had drawn the line at IVF, only to find themselves reevaluating their previous stance after months of trying had failed to yield results.

What follows is an eye-opening story of infertility, including many of the ‘tough,’ but unavoidable decisions couples are forced to make when getting pregnant isn’t happening. Dr. Snow pulls back the proverbial curtain and offers an unfiltered look at the many options—traditional and otherwise—that couples have. Snow’s conversational tone and informed perspective work wonders with what is an otherwise dreadfully uncomfortable topic. I specifically appreciated the idea of life containing ‘seasons,’ and her advice for traversing periods of discomfort with grace.

As for the ‘lies’ component of this book: Dr. Snow essentially offers ten pearls of wisdom applicable to anyone dealing with infertility. Statements like “The Future is Ours to Control” and “Success is a Positive Test” may seem like platitudes, but within the context of the book, they serve as important markers. Equally important is Snow’s dispelling of lies like “Infertility is my Identity” and “Infertility = Inadequacy.”

Despite the increasing prevalence of infertility, no one begins their pregnancy journey expecting trouble. After all, the last thing anyone wants to do before embarking on the most meaningful chapter of their life is prepare for a ‘worst-case’ scenario. Still, sometimes those ‘rough seasons’ are unavoidable. With ‘Infertility Lies: A Journey of Discovering Truth,’ readers will find comfort in knowing that they are not alone and that, yes, there is a light at the end of that tunnel.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Infertility Lies: A Journey of Discovering Truth is a powerful and emotional read that inspires and reassures.

Karen Snow always knew she wanted children. From a young age, it was an accepted part of her future. So when Karen and her husband decided it was time to add to their little family, she was shocked to find she couldn't conceive naturally. Karen had to turn to outside help and treatments to try and have her dream baby. Karen was thrown into a time of uncertainty and a feeling of inadequacy that tainted her day-to-day life. In this book, Karen writes of her experiences and the reality of her life. It didn't match the picture-perfect idea in her mind.

Karen's talent for writing is easily seen throughout the book. The pages are filled with her compassionate voice and understanding that comes from her own experiences and heartache. Karen systematically writes of her journey, from the beginning to the end. The loneliness and shame she felt while getting her treatments is something people don't mention. She felt alone and confused. To combat this, Karen writes of how women can cope and how others can support and encourage them.

Karen is upfront about her past reactions and how she dealt with her infertility. She reflects on her past actions and is insightful on how she could have acted differently. Hindsight is 20/20, but perhaps it can help others. She writes of how infertility affected her physically and mentally and how hard it can be to go about your daily routine when you feel weighed down. She talks of her secret concerns and how they altered her thoughts about others. It is easy to become consumed by your thoughts.

I recommend everyone read Infertility Lies, even if you don't yet know what to do with the information. Many people struggle to conceive, and often the news is devasting. One day you may know someone struggling with infertility, and your support could mean everything to them. This book helps you understand the pressure, struggles, and loneliness that could arise.

Karen has written an insightful read based on her own painful experiences. Her honesty is refreshing and offers hope and guidance to those finding themselves on similar journeys.

[Chevaughn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Karen Snow writes an incredibly in-depth journey about her own struggle with infertility, emotions, guilt and the toll the entire experience took on her.

Whether you have struggled with this battle yourself or know someone who has/is this book is a must read. She exposes the lies so many women have told themselves and breaks the boundaries that we put in place when we struggle with things and isolate, making ourselves feel alone and broken. Her journey is not an easy one and abstractly it is difficult if you're also having the same issues. But her honest approach to her emotions helps ease the way. The conflicts we face at crucial times, being happy for someone else whilst upset at our own lack of progress. And the way she explains how utterly exhausting the process became and the way she pushed herself beyond what she ever thought she'd do.

I myself have not faced these issues but I have a couple of friends who have/are and reading this gave me huge insights into the processes they're going through and how they must be feeling. There is a section at the end for people in my situation giving advice on what to say (and not to say) to someone having these struggles.

Overall, an incredible must-read, even without the fertility issue her advice on how to deal with those conflicting emotions we all have at some point or another and stopping the burn out are good advice for anyone. She comes across as a friend having a chat over coffee, just giving you her account and letting you explore your own feelings. The reflections at the end of the chapters are a great way to begin to understand and deal with the struggle at your own pace, and most importantly that you are not alone.

[Ray Rowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartfelt and eye opening

Format: Kindle Edition

Infertility Lies: A Journey of Discovering Truth by Dr. Karen Snow M.D. is an eye opening account of her reflections on dealing with infertility. She is a straight forward writer that is easy to understand, and much more importantly, relate to her experience.

In her self reflections she goes over ten lies people may hear or think to themselves as they undergo this journey. I found the second lie, "Having kids is the ticket to happiness" to be the most eye opening. In life we set goals for ourselves, little milestones. Do well in highschool and go to a good school. Perform well at university and then get a job afterwards. Along the way find a suitable partner. After establishing yourself it is time to start a family! Then I will have checked all the boxes and I will be happy and complete.

Children provide a lot of happiness and fulfillment but they are not the only source of it. We tend to make things into idols hoping for that next thing to bring us happiness.

A quote I really liked from the book is, "Children are not miracle workers, they don’t solve all of life’s issues, and they aren’t magical beings of perfection. These very expectations mustn’t be placed on them either – it’s unfair and harmful to look at what we may gain over what we can give. They are exhausting, all-consuming, life-changing, and amazing all at once."

I highly recommend this book to anyone struggling or knows someone who is struggling with infertility. The book is a helpful resource in a much needed area. The author includes journal entry questions for the reader to reflect on. I found this especially helpful.

[Sarah Parsons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book felt like beautiful compassionate words from a friend. Anyone who is experiencing infertility or knows someone experiencing infertility should read this book. Written with the utmost kindness and respect, Karen Snow encourages us all to "feel our feelings". Her words are gentle and compassionate and can be extrapolated to all manner of difficult situations in life as well as infertility.

Karen takes us through common myths surrounding infertility and beliefs of how one "should" be feeling and responding as well as discussing boundaries with oneself and others, how to support each other if going through this journey as a couple and how to speak to those who are struggling with infertility. Karen's words are personal, honest and considered and she relates back to her own journey in a tone that feels like you are hearing from her as a friend and confidant. Her wisdom and reflection of her own experience offers essential advice and guidance to the reader whilst continually recognising that everyone is on their own personal journey and no story is the same.

It feels as though Karen is giving the reader permission slips to feel everything, be gentle on oneself and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I especially appreciated how she affirms the idea of holding more than one feeling at a time - feeling happy for a pregnant colleague for example and sad for oneself. Karen is a naturopathic doctor but speaks to you as a friend and I will be recommending this book to anyone on their own infertility journey.

[Moná · Rating 5 out of 5]

No one wants to feel inadequate due to infertility, especially women who have always played by the rules or attempted to do things the right way, to feel broken. The struggle of discovering that you cannot have the ability or bear children is something many women deal with daily. From trying new techniques, testing all kinds of medical procedures, and having to surrender to alternatives, it can get exhaustive and expensive.

In "Infertility Lies: A Journey of Discovering Truth," author Karen Snow enlightened and educated her readers from a perspective that usually doesn't have a voice. The countless women who feel something is wrong with them seem to be a number one issue, which isn't the case. While myths have been proven false, there is important information that goes along with them. Based on modern medicine, just because someone is infertile doesn't mean they cannot find a way to achieve the life they want, even if found in the joys of parenthood.

It was an interesting read, and I have found myself learning more about a topic that is not often a topic for discussion. The stigma of infertility could very well be non-challenging because there are tried and true methods that work. To experience being a parent and caregiver to children is an experience only those who know would understand. A concise book that was informative, abit entertaining, and overall offered positive advice, throughout. I would highly recommend anyone to give this book a chance as there's always something to learn.

[Kathrin Spinnler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding out that you are infertile is an incredibly challenging and complex situation. In Karen Snow’s book Infertility Lies, she explains her own journey and goes through some of the lessons she has learned.

The book begins with an introduction, then reveals the ten lies that the author struggled with while going through her fertility treatments. Towards the end, she discusses vital topics such as how others can support a person going through infertility, how to cope with exhaustion and burnout, and how she was able to maintain her faith during this journey.

I think this book is incredibly helpful and reassuring to anyone struggling with infertility and going through the IUI and IVF treatments. Snow not only speaks from experience, but she also draws from her professional knowledge as a naturopathic doctor. The work contains many ideas for how to make the journey easier and how to cope with the conflicting emotions.

There is a strong focus on living through the experience without judgment, leaning on others in the community, working on the relationship with your partner, and regularly practicing self-care. I particularly enjoyed the section on burnout because it is such a big issue for people around the world.

[Hannah Barry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an exquisitely, almost painful, read of deep compassion and vulnerability. The author, Dr. Karen Snow, ND, combines her personal experience with infertility and uses her knowledge as a medical professional to dive into the honest depths of what it's like to move through infertility. Though illuminating in the way that Snow shares her truth, it is also an incredibly accessible book for she gives readers the exact support and tips they need to set themselves up for success.

A true skill to be able to hold that many things can be true at once, this beautiful harrowing process affects a lot of humans in a lot of various ways--Snow is able to find a level ground where humans of all identities can meet and hold each other up.

I highly suggest this book to all people and their partners moving through pregnancy, infertility of any degree, and even while parenting an infant (or experiencing loneliness/shame due to one of these things)--this book is filled with wondrous tips, encouragement, and truths that will surely help anyone feel more at home in the process and in their own body.

[Aditya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't usually read this kind of book but this time I did and I am glad I did. Though I am a female, I can relate to this book spiritually. Being able to give birth to an entirely new human is a fascinating as well as a lovely experience. Though it accompanies unimaginable pain for the women, a little face with a little smile makes it all worthwhile. dealing with Infertility is not just dealing with self pain but also the stigma from society, though I cannot relate to it as a man, I can feel the void it makes in the life of a person.

This book beautifully describes all this and more. It is just a beautiful and inspiring experience for an individual. This book has the potential to change lives and make them better. To all the people who are reading my review before buying this book go ahead buy it and let others know about this, maybe in the chain of referrals there may be someone who needs this book more than any support.

All in all, this book proves why 'a book is your best friend' is a saying. Thank you to the author for such a great book.

Thank you
Happy Reading