The Offline Dating Method: 3 Steps to Attract Your Perfect Partner in the Real World

by Camille Virginia

Why settle for being swiped-over, when you can attract your perfect partner in the real world?  Dating apps were supposed to be a fun new way to meet your future partner - but for many singles, they've morphed into a digital dystopia of lies, harassment, and few (if any) quality connections. Stop competing against thousands online and start enjoying endless untapped opportunities to attract your match in the real world - from the airport to a coffee shop to your grocery store cereal aisle. Author Camille Virginia draws upon her transformation from a shy girl with social anxiety into a socially confident woman who discovered the secret to creating an instantly meaningful connection with anyone. In The Offline Dating Method , she guides you through her proven 3-step process to attract a great partner wherever you go by tapping into every human's inherent (and frequently unmet) need for fulfilling face-to-face interactions. 
-- Discover 100's of specific + actionable tips (no vague "just be yourself" advice)
-- Follow a simple step-by-step system (no guesswork of what to do next)
-- Create meaningful connections with everyone (friends, family, coworkers, more)
 
In this NEW, all-inclusive and expanded edition of the best-selling book, author Camille Virginia helps singles of ALL gender identifications and sexual orientations navigate a post-pandemic dating world where they can finally ditch the Zoom dates and attract their perfect partner in the real world.

  
TABLE OF CONTENTS
 
Your Secret Edge Over the Apps
The Five Digital Barriers Keeping You Single
The Solution is Simple
The Journey That Led Me to You
The Universal Power of Human Connection
Your Roadmap to Real-World Connection
Special Tips for the LGBTQ+ Community
A Special Invitation
 
 
CHAPTER Magnetic Approachability
Master the art of approachability to attract great people without saying a word
 
Results You'll Get From This Chapter
Irresistible Authentic, Alluring, Approachable
-- Location is Everything
-- Simple Social Warm-Ups
-- The #1 Principle of Approachability
-- Seven Ways to Snap Into the Present
Three Pillars of Magnetic Approachability
-- Pillar 1: Prepping
-- Pillar 2: Positioning
-- Pillar 3: Projecting
 
 
CHAPTER Effortless Engagement
Discover how to talk to anyone with zero risk of rejection (even if you're shy)
 
Results You'll Get From This Chapter
Consistency 101: Your Shift into Effortless Engagement
If They Initiate
-- The Rules of Engagement
If You Initiate
-- The Rules of Engagement
Overcoming the Five Fears
Twelve Super Simple Ways to Start a Conversation
How to Keep it Going - Or Shut It Down
-- The Four-Word Transition to Meaningful
-- Death of a Conversation
Essential Engagement Extras
-- Four Ways to Never Forget Someone's Name
-- Nine Actions to Gain Social Momentum
-- How to Handle "One of Those Days"
 
 
CHAPTER Asked Out Organically
Create an instantly meaningful connection and inspire a future date together
 
Results You'll Get From This Chapter
Warning! You'll Be a Wanted Person
-- How to Avoid The Catch-Up Cycle of Doom
-- All Praise and No Action Makes Anyone Dull
The Five Elements of a Meaningful Conversation
-- Element 1: Ask Awesome Questions
-- Element 2: Hold Space for Silence
-- Element 3: Listen Like Your Life Depends On It
-- Element 4: Release Judgment
-- Element 5: Share Insights and Stories
How to Seal the Deal
-- Here's Why it Needs to Be an Actual Date
-- Three Ways to Get a Date
-- How I Got a Date on LinkedIn
More Tips for Your Conversational Arsenal
-- Don't Say This to Anyone. Ever
-- How to Know When to Exit the Conversation
-- Opportunities > Outcomes
-- Four Ways to Recover a Forgotten Name
-- Instant Charm Hacks
-- Ménage à Meaningful
-- Tech, Interrupted
 
 
The World is Your Dating Playground
NEXT The Sequel and The Prequel
Definitions of Key Terms
LGBTQ+ Page Guide
All Book Sections by Page Number

301 pages, Paperback

Published August 31, 2021

Reviews

[Heather Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the way this is written. So many wonderful gems sprinkled throughout the book, so many ways to connect with people and improve communication skills. Thank you a million times over to Camille, your tips will always be in the front of my mind as I go about my day. Highly recommend!

[Vlad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Embark on this Essay

4.5 Stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

A Better Title:

This book didn't AT ALL feel like a dating book which is neither good nor bad since it still definitely delivered overall.

But I just feel like it could appeal to more of the "right people" if it were named more appropriately.

The title does a disservice to what the book offers.

I feel like people are less likely to pick up a book on dating than they are a well rounded self help guide such as this.

For example, the author of The Five Love Languages felt he just had to publish a "Men's" edition for that very reason. Apparently some guy wrote in stating how it was hard to recommend the book to his buddies because of the title and purple cover.

Now, I'm no 5 year old who worries about trivial matters like how "girlie" the book I'm reading (or recommending) may come across to other people. But sadly it is the kind of thing people worry about and in the case of this book a broader or different title would change perceptions and more accurately reflect the valuable + widely applicable content in the book.

The "offline" aspect of this book is what intrigued me the most about the title. Given how focused the world is on the digital side of things, it really reminded me of Deep Work, which is a fantastic and pretty unique book about stepping away from technology.

Unless you're absolutely starved for a date and are placing all your chips on this book being your saving grace. You can 100% go through very large portions of this book with complete amnesia to the fact that it is about getting a date.

The book itself is much more about how to be more mindful about the way you present yourself to the world. How others perceive your actions. How to naturally be more inviting and approachable to others. How to converse with others easily and in a way that's comfortable to you. How to just be yourself and let the rest take it's course (but spelled out for you in case you don't know how to do that).

Minor Gripe:

(1) There is an excessive amount of direct foreshadowing

It just makes me think "Why?". My attention span is beyond that of a gold fish. I don't need to be told whats coming up...I'm literally going to read it in a few minutes. (And it'd be even less than that without all the foreshadowing)

Along with it being unnecessary, it also felt like how many people write "wait to the end" on short form videos or how on YouTube they'll allude to something in hopes that it will increase their watch time.

That is why I wasn't very keen on it. It felt like a bait tactic for TikTok obsessed 5 second attention span Gen Z (and in a book that doesn't even need such tricks).

I'm SURE it's well intentioned. To get you excited for what's to come or quell the fears you may have about trying the tips...

The more I think about it/try to understand it, the more it seems like the author is doing this as a way to take the reader along for the journey in a fun "we'll do this together" manner (which would be sweet).

I mean I can't REALLY knock it given that (I'm guessing) it's done in good intentions. But I still think it's done A LOT throughout the book. And it does add a bit of clutter for anytime you want to revisit the book. The starred sections are largely fine and not nearly as "uhh" as the numerous smaller inclusions.

On the other hand I will say, there are parts tying previous concepts together with current ones and it offers a nice little refresher.

I had 3 other minor gripes but decided to omit them at this time.

Some Great Elements of the Book:

As someone who naturally practices some of these behaviors, is always aware of others (who may or may not be practicing them), and loves psychology. I really enjoyed seeing many of the tips mentioned in this book because I know first hand just how effective they are as it relates to people approaching me and what I look for in others.

The book just feels so relatable to me (although I feel like that's a strange thing to say for this kind of book. Nevertheless! It does).

Appeals to a broad audience + Very Accessible

This book is a VERY easy read. Each chapter is broken up into bite sized pieces making for a very digestible and easy to reference book.

No complex words or topics that will be difficult for you to wrap your head around. No superfluous use of language either.

The author naturally gives off a very positive, and uplifting tone (without ever feeling fake in any way) making you want to read on further.

Well Organized:

She organized the book very well. There are headers, headers and more headers. No, but really the information is all laid out in a way that makes it very easy for you to dive back into a certain part of the book for when you need to revisit an idea and try out a new approach.

Everything is neatly sectioned off and there are plenty of lists as well.

Actionable:

The author made this VERY actionable by asking you questions at the end of sections (which were already filled with solid tips).

This is something I don't see a lot of in books and it really shows the author cares and ACTUALLY wants you to not only think about how these concepts and ideas relate to your life but to also go out and apply them so that you can get the results you're looking for.

She is also very realistic and places a lot of safeguards on some of the tips. She understands that some situations will not go you way at times and that's completely fine. She understands that there are cultural, legal, gender etc. differences, and advises you to practice some tips within reason.

What I Enjoyed:

I loved the 2 pictures the author included at the end of Chapter 1: "Dress for a Conversation". Not only does one of the pictures look nice, but what I really liked about it was the personal touch it gave to the chapter (which turned out to be a theme throughout the book). I've read a lot of books and it's not often I see personal tid bits like that in them.

I also liked the other text conversations included in the rest of the book along with the various personal admissions 🥹.

Like I mentioned previously, I liked how the author would reference previous portions of the book that related to the current topic. It helps you to tie the concepts together, be prepared for anything, and it's another example of how the author wants you to succeed.

I just loved this quote and wish more women understood it.

"Many people insist a man should always make the first move – but I disagree. I believe any and everyone should feel empowered to approach another person.

Waiting for someone else to initiate means you'll miss a lot of opportunities...''

There are countless instances where I've noticed women clearly wanting me to approach them, but I only initiate with people I feel compelled to.

It's always so strange to me how I'm fully expected to go up to a stranger and say whatever when THEY are the one who likes me. If it were middle school I'd understand. But it's not. And we are both adults.

It's like asking someone you've never met for a favor...except you don't even have the courage to ask them so instead you just get in their vicinity and expect them to know what you want and "just do it already".

On top of that shyness and timidity are not exactly alluring qualities (in fact, I see them as the opposite). A woman who is only displaying that AND wanting me to approach them is in no way something hard to find.

Meaning they stick out like a haystack in a haystack 😶‍🌫️

What the old Japanese man did for the American
That is 100% something I would do and after reading that, want to do. It would be such a fun experience.

My Favorite Actionable Tips:

Create Instant Rapport with Anyone

"When you talk to a stranger the same way you talk to a close friend, something magical happens..."

I hardly ever initiate an interaction if it's not done in this way. People will just about always notice when you come at them in this friendly manner and after the few seconds of bewilderment pass, that smile is quick to run across their face.

It just gives off the feeling that you're happy, fun, energetic and really friendly. And to top it off it puts the other person at ease and in a better mood in a matter of seconds.

I hate how boring, repetitive, and stale formalities are so I love just talking to people as I would a friend. And it's really the most natural way to be (so long as you aren't in an awful mood that day for whatever reason).

I'm like ALWAYS looking for something to compliment someone on. But it's typically gotta be something unique/different because same old same old is just so boring and common place. But yeah, complimenting others is SUCH an easy thing to practice.

I'll notice something I like about the person and simply say it in passing, like you would say "Hi" to the mailman as you're walking you're dog (personally I don't ever really intend to converse with them beyond that, but if they want to it's absolutely no issue with me). I'll describe what it is I like mostly because that's just me (I pay attention to the details) but I also love knowing that people find it more impactful when you specify what it is you like and why.

It conveys an added level of thought, effort and sincerity.

Since the thing I like about them is something unique I'm genuinely happy to (1) see something I don't see very often, and (2) let them know how I feel about it (and hopefully brighten their day 😄). And 10/10 my enthusiasm comes across in my interaction with them. It's so easy.

Speaking your mind (without leaving 1 second to overthink it)

Is also a something I love doing and it goes hand in hand with treating others like your friend. Because if someone's really you're friend, then you aren't going to be overthinking everything you say to them.

Keep a Headphone Out
This reminded me of when I was out looking for something once. When a girl came by, noticed me then suddenly her tone of voice softens, pace slightly quickens and she started to excessively preen herself.

The thing is she was on her phone, headphones in, and talking to a friend.

It just left me perplexed thinking "Sooo would you expect someone to just interrupt you when you're clearly busy like that??" 😄

Accept Some Help

"Try and accept offers of help"

This was a great reminder. I know how great it feels when people accept my offers, but if it is not something difficult that I actually need help with, then I am so quick to decline others.

So it's nice to have the reminder that I could be more accepting of it as a way to chat or simply make them feel helpful.

Embrace the “Yes, and...”

This tip, coupled with the show mentioned just fit so perfectly together. I hardly even watched the show myself but was immediately able to visualize the actors displaying this technique. This was such a good and easy example to remember.

Say It Out Loud

"Sharing a random thought out loud to no one in particular.''

I personally find this one strange to do (because it's only something I'd naturally do at home on occasions) but I love it when others do it. It's sooo inviting and such a chill way to start an interaction with someone. It's one of the most obvious (to both people) yet relaxed ways someone can start a conversation.

I would feel bad if I don't at the very least give someone a chuckle when I catch this.

And I really like the fact that it's "what's on their mind" as opposed to a more generic or covert attempt to start conversing. That makes it more fresh and unique. It's like what you'd do around a friend ☺️

Being on the receiving end, this technique is super effective.

Receive powerful epiphanies and insights into your life
"Creating an interesting conversation comes with the bonus of helping you learn more about yourself too."

This is so true. Even for topics you've tossed around a lot in your mind. Having to vocalize your thoughts and put them into words can really help you see things from a slightly different perspective that you never would have otherwise. And even more so when the other person has something to share about what you said.

Tech Interruptions:

"The key to dealing with a digital disturbance without completely ruining your face-to-face conversation is to always bring that person into your tech conversation."

I love when people do this. I'm always just curious anyways so the openness is very much welcomed and it shows they are still present and interested in the interaction between the two of you.

Plenty more could've been said about the book but yeah that's enough.

Ultimately:

The book is fantastic. There are so many great ideas presented here that people should be exposed to.

This should definitely be a staple in many Top X Books lists, bookshelves etc.

At the moment, this is a nice little hidden gem.

I really hope more people will discover it though.

Thanks for the amazing work Camille!!! ✨


(1) Rating Explanation:

For me 5s are unequivocally 5s.

There's not a whole lot of thought that needs to go into it.

It's just like when you see something gorgeous. You don't need to ask yourself "Hmm, do I really like the way this looks??".

If I were to look at this book in a vacuum sure It'd be a 5, but when I look at it with the knowledge I have, the books I've read, and while trying to still be somewhat fair and judge it off its own right. It comes out to a 4.5

There was no real super insightful, life changing, mentally challenging concept to grasp, perspective shifting, hugely impactful novel concept/idea, etc. That left me with that 5 star feel. Someone else absolutely can and will find the book is chock full of these elements for them, but I'm just speaking from my experience.

For example something like the Empathic Listening Technique would fit this bill perfectly. But it's also something I unknowingly have done/do.

It was mentally too vanilla.

Makes for a perfect recommendation to others, but for me the most lasting impressions involve things that are mentally stimulating with at least some semblance of difficulty. (I guess in this case all that comes from the actions you take as a result of this book and not the book itself 🤗 )

It offers great breadth and I really like the realistic and thoughtful approach she took. In that she considered possible hangups you might face, spoke of times not to use the tips, didn't act like things would work flawlessly one hundred percent of the time etc.

If/when I revisit this book I'd reassess my evaluation of it because at some level I could probably give this 5.

But I digress. That's more than enough characters explaining the mere .5 difference.

(2) I found a few typos in the book 🕵🏾 🙈

(3) The section after the ACKNOWLEDGMENTS was a nice little surprise. THAT'S well staged foreshadowing for yah.