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ALONE IN THE CROWD: OVERCOMING LONELINESS OF URBAN LIVING
In a city high-rise, sitting in the balcony on the 25th floor, sipping tea, you look out into the horizon, city lights glimmering in the distance, cars fading away as they rush across the highway. You are surrounded by silence though you can hear the faint noises of the horns honking on the road. You look across at the building angularly adjoining yours and see shadows move across the large expansive windows. You wonder what they would be doing-their conversations, their actions, the scuttling and scurrying movements. You can feel the melancholy, the lonesomeness. You reflect how it was never like this before. As people navigate their way towards growth and success, they find themselves 'busy' and others around them 'unavailable'. This urban existence with its multidimensional challenges has led to an upsurge in the experience of loneliness and taking stock is a matter of pertinent significance. This book explores the spaces from which the problem of urban loneliness arises. It portrays in detail the facets of our lives which are contributing towards the emergence of this scenario. In Alone in the Crowd, the authors go beyond highlighting the existence of the problem to enlisting ways in which this pandemic, in the midst of the current pandemic, can be tackled. Encouraging readers to concurrently focus on the need to live mindfully, this book also highlights key learnings from the pandemic.
224 pages, Paperback
Published December 5, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
January 16, 2022
“We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness”.
- Charlie Chaplin
In today’s fast pacing world, we humans constantly measure ourselves against our peers. From winning a championship at school to having a well settled job, everything has been reduced to a competition. Not only has this extra-competitive spirit changed us into machines, it has also altered the meaning of happiness. Instead of looking for happiness within, it has now become contingent upon prevailing situations and the perception of others. This constant pressure of keeping up with what others expect of you, what you expect from yourself and idealized notions of how life is supposed to be, only adds to your stress.
However, life has taken a halt since last two years with the coming of Covid-19. It has not only affected people’s physical health but has also had adverse effects on one’s mental health and well-being. Loneliness has pervasively become a part of our lifestyle and its effect can be seen not only on relationships but also on productivity at work.
Alone In the Crowd is a book that outlines the manner in which this pandemic has affected all of us in often-ignored aspects of the spaces we occupy and aims to create an awareness of what is and has been going on. It talks about ways in which the loneliness can be tackled both at individual and societal front and highlights the need to engage in mindful ways with our own lives to adapt the changes in how we do things.
This is a book that I found quite different from the usual self-help books as it not only showcases the ground reality of what we face and feel every single day, it also provides us ways to overcome those feelings. The language is so simple that each and every word immediately makes sense. It beautifully strikes at the mind of the reader giving them a message that “your mental health matters”. If you are looking for answers on how to deal with the challenges of urban living, then #AloneInTheCrowd is the right read for you to open new perspectives.
- Charlie Chaplin
In today’s fast pacing world, we humans constantly measure ourselves against our peers. From winning a championship at school to having a well settled job, everything has been reduced to a competition. Not only has this extra-competitive spirit changed us into machines, it has also altered the meaning of happiness. Instead of looking for happiness within, it has now become contingent upon prevailing situations and the perception of others. This constant pressure of keeping up with what others expect of you, what you expect from yourself and idealized notions of how life is supposed to be, only adds to your stress.
However, life has taken a halt since last two years with the coming of Covid-19. It has not only affected people’s physical health but has also had adverse effects on one’s mental health and well-being. Loneliness has pervasively become a part of our lifestyle and its effect can be seen not only on relationships but also on productivity at work.
Alone In the Crowd is a book that outlines the manner in which this pandemic has affected all of us in often-ignored aspects of the spaces we occupy and aims to create an awareness of what is and has been going on. It talks about ways in which the loneliness can be tackled both at individual and societal front and highlights the need to engage in mindful ways with our own lives to adapt the changes in how we do things.
This is a book that I found quite different from the usual self-help books as it not only showcases the ground reality of what we face and feel every single day, it also provides us ways to overcome those feelings. The language is so simple that each and every word immediately makes sense. It beautifully strikes at the mind of the reader giving them a message that “your mental health matters”. If you are looking for answers on how to deal with the challenges of urban living, then #AloneInTheCrowd is the right read for you to open new perspectives.
March 4, 2022
Urban loneliness is a pervasive issue that marks current times. Compounded with the impact of the pandemic induced lockdowns, the phenomenon has assumed bigger proportions. Eminent mental health professionals, Dr. Samir Parikh and Kamna Chibber address this subject of the loneliness of urban living in Alone in a Crowd: Overcoming the loneliness of Urban Living (Rupa Publications).
The authors, based on years of experience in dealing with mental health issues are in a position to identify of the true pain points that affect people today. They are quite correct in pointing out the increasing existence of ‘transactional relationships’ running on autopilot. This is quite contrary to our basic need to truly connect with others. After all, we are social animals. By painting a picture of the changing relationship-landscape they lay a ground for the rest of the book that looks at urban loneliness in context.
But first, how does one really explain what urban loneliness is? It is in feeling ‘alienated’ despite having people all around us. It is in the familiar ‘stale’ patterns on interactions that do not serve us or do not give us joy. It is in not having true engagement with the people in our lives.
Big cities…big problems?
Perhaps it is in urban living that the problem of urban loneliness takes birth in. The authors describe these issues in detail- work pressures, distance from nature, materialism, competition, comparisons with others magnified via filtered lives on social media, and many more. All these factors related to urban living contribute to urban loneliness. Cities are also spaces where there is often sensory overload and overstimulation thanks to traffic, noise, and what not. Each day in the city is an assault on our senses. And then of course there are the strands of modern lifestyle (late nights, too much time on social media, junk food and so on) that also have their own role to play.
All these issues come together and form the problem of urban loneliness. One cannot find a solution to the problem without first understanding how to set the base of a grounded lifestyle. And this is exactly what one understands as one navigates the book. The first part paints a very detailed picture of what the problem looks like, and going further there are multifaceted solutions that the reader can employ.
Given the plethora of factors that contribute to this issue in the first place, the solutions are also multi-pronged. But, the good news is that a positive improvement in one area will cause a ripple effect and slowly there will be visible changes in all areas of life. For example, their suggestions on developing mindfulness and inner awareness will not only help in reducing your anxiety, but also lead to better work performance, mindfulness in eating and thereby better health, awareness of interpersonal relationships and thereby more satisfying friendships and intimate relationships.
In short, this is a guide with actionable insights into resolving the issue of urban loneliness by living more mindfully and with awareness. With sections on learnings from the pandemic, digital detox, food and lifestyle and so on, here is an overall urban lifestyle self-help book. The language is simple and the reader will often feel that the authors are directly talking to them, just like a wise friend would! I think the reader could think critically about the varied points mentioned in the book and note down some pointers that they find useful for their unique situation. They are sure to find pointers that go beyond urban loneliness, pointers for a life that is calm and mindful, despite the many challenges that come with urban living!
The authors, based on years of experience in dealing with mental health issues are in a position to identify of the true pain points that affect people today. They are quite correct in pointing out the increasing existence of ‘transactional relationships’ running on autopilot. This is quite contrary to our basic need to truly connect with others. After all, we are social animals. By painting a picture of the changing relationship-landscape they lay a ground for the rest of the book that looks at urban loneliness in context.
But first, how does one really explain what urban loneliness is? It is in feeling ‘alienated’ despite having people all around us. It is in the familiar ‘stale’ patterns on interactions that do not serve us or do not give us joy. It is in not having true engagement with the people in our lives.
Big cities…big problems?
Perhaps it is in urban living that the problem of urban loneliness takes birth in. The authors describe these issues in detail- work pressures, distance from nature, materialism, competition, comparisons with others magnified via filtered lives on social media, and many more. All these factors related to urban living contribute to urban loneliness. Cities are also spaces where there is often sensory overload and overstimulation thanks to traffic, noise, and what not. Each day in the city is an assault on our senses. And then of course there are the strands of modern lifestyle (late nights, too much time on social media, junk food and so on) that also have their own role to play.
All these issues come together and form the problem of urban loneliness. One cannot find a solution to the problem without first understanding how to set the base of a grounded lifestyle. And this is exactly what one understands as one navigates the book. The first part paints a very detailed picture of what the problem looks like, and going further there are multifaceted solutions that the reader can employ.
Given the plethora of factors that contribute to this issue in the first place, the solutions are also multi-pronged. But, the good news is that a positive improvement in one area will cause a ripple effect and slowly there will be visible changes in all areas of life. For example, their suggestions on developing mindfulness and inner awareness will not only help in reducing your anxiety, but also lead to better work performance, mindfulness in eating and thereby better health, awareness of interpersonal relationships and thereby more satisfying friendships and intimate relationships.
In short, this is a guide with actionable insights into resolving the issue of urban loneliness by living more mindfully and with awareness. With sections on learnings from the pandemic, digital detox, food and lifestyle and so on, here is an overall urban lifestyle self-help book. The language is simple and the reader will often feel that the authors are directly talking to them, just like a wise friend would! I think the reader could think critically about the varied points mentioned in the book and note down some pointers that they find useful for their unique situation. They are sure to find pointers that go beyond urban loneliness, pointers for a life that is calm and mindful, despite the many challenges that come with urban living!
January 26, 2022
It's not a Bad Book
Alone in the Crowd is well informed. This, I believe, is its greatest strength.
Often self-help books compromise on their authority by making the advice personal. "Hey," they seem to say, "this worked for me!", or else they might borrow authority from an authoritative source: studies, common wisdom, anecdotes, stories. While Alone in the Crowd doesn't delve into personal experiences, the authors' experience of personal experiences lends it a confident, reliable tone. It knows what you might be feeling, and what worked for tons of other people who felt the same way.
Alone in the Crowds is disparate. This, I believe, is its greatest weakness.
The content of the book seems too generalised in certain places. While it goes many places, it fails to motivate the journey. Sometimes, it reads like a bound collection of articles rather than a cohesive narrative. As a result, not every piece of advice is for everyone who reads it. Personally, Section-II was more valuable to me than Section-I but I know I have some friends who'll feel about it in precisely the opposite manner.
I suggest that a prospective reader feel free to skip around, look at later sections first if the title feels more compelling. The index, at least, is refreshingly transparent with the contents.
Alone in the Crowd is well informed. This, I believe, is its greatest strength.
Often self-help books compromise on their authority by making the advice personal. "Hey," they seem to say, "this worked for me!", or else they might borrow authority from an authoritative source: studies, common wisdom, anecdotes, stories. While Alone in the Crowd doesn't delve into personal experiences, the authors' experience of personal experiences lends it a confident, reliable tone. It knows what you might be feeling, and what worked for tons of other people who felt the same way.
Alone in the Crowds is disparate. This, I believe, is its greatest weakness.
The content of the book seems too generalised in certain places. While it goes many places, it fails to motivate the journey. Sometimes, it reads like a bound collection of articles rather than a cohesive narrative. As a result, not every piece of advice is for everyone who reads it. Personally, Section-II was more valuable to me than Section-I but I know I have some friends who'll feel about it in precisely the opposite manner.
I suggest that a prospective reader feel free to skip around, look at later sections first if the title feels more compelling. The index, at least, is refreshingly transparent with the contents.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews