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Bondi Bears #3
The Lookout
When he advertises the vacant bedroom in his apartment on a gay houseshare site, sexy teddy bear Angus ends up with more than he bargained for. Tall, dark and handsome otter Tom and blond muscle-bear Patrick couldn't be more different in personality, but Angus is so taken with them that he asks both men to move in. After a boozy first night together culminates in a skinny dip in the complex's swimming pool, Angus, Tom and Patrick fall into bed with each other. The explosive chemistry between them continues throughout a hot spring and summer. Days spent on the beach blend into nights of wild passion in Angus's huge bed, which all three inevitably end up sharing.
Fun, upbeat Patrick and quiet, affectionate Tom are everything Angus could have wished for. His nurturing side kicks in, creating a happy home for all three.
With Patrick working over the Christmas period, Tom and Angus go to visit Angus's family in the country. When they return, Patrick has changed. He's distant and sullen; there's no sign of the vibrant, happy man they've known for the past few months. At first, Angus thinks Patrick may be jealous of the close bond he's developing with Tom. He and Tom pull out all the stops to make Patrick feel as loved as possible, but their efforts go unnoticed. Then a chance discovery in the kitchen bin leads Angus to think there may be darker reasons for the change in Patrick's personality.
Tensions brew until late one night, when a disastrous phone call brings Angus's world crashing down around him. Desperately trying to make sense of what happened, Angus must rely on the love and support of others around him to slowly pick up the pieces and rebuild their happy home.
Fun, upbeat Patrick and quiet, affectionate Tom are everything Angus could have wished for. His nurturing side kicks in, creating a happy home for all three.
With Patrick working over the Christmas period, Tom and Angus go to visit Angus's family in the country. When they return, Patrick has changed. He's distant and sullen; there's no sign of the vibrant, happy man they've known for the past few months. At first, Angus thinks Patrick may be jealous of the close bond he's developing with Tom. He and Tom pull out all the stops to make Patrick feel as loved as possible, but their efforts go unnoticed. Then a chance discovery in the kitchen bin leads Angus to think there may be darker reasons for the change in Patrick's personality.
Tensions brew until late one night, when a disastrous phone call brings Angus's world crashing down around him. Desperately trying to make sense of what happened, Angus must rely on the love and support of others around him to slowly pick up the pieces and rebuild their happy home.
123 pages, ebook
First published December 14, 2021
4 people are currently reading
112 people want to read
About the author
Colin Dereham
9 books119 followersColin Dereham is a Lambda Literary Award finalist who lives in country New South Wales, Australia, with his bf, bff, two very spoilt Italian greyhounds, and his gorgeous Seeing Eye dog, Yuja. After careers as an opera singer and an LGBT, mental health and community nurse, Colin decided to put his lit degree to use and start writing.
When he’s not holed up in his office squinting at a fifty-five inch monitor, Colin likes reading contemporary gay fiction, eating out, and being taken for long walks around the lake by Yuja.
Colin writes about bears and otters, the furry blokes in the gay community. His works are gritty kitchen sink dramas with happy endings of both kinds: frank and detailed erotic scenes; and uplifting, romantic conclusions.
When he’s not holed up in his office squinting at a fifty-five inch monitor, Colin likes reading contemporary gay fiction, eating out, and being taken for long walks around the lake by Yuja.
Colin writes about bears and otters, the furry blokes in the gay community. His works are gritty kitchen sink dramas with happy endings of both kinds: frank and detailed erotic scenes; and uplifting, romantic conclusions.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
August 9, 2025
A very fast-paced read. It wastes no time, and is super vivid. The descriptions are feverishly delightful. What may be most welcome is the accuracy—accurate attraction, accurate sex (positions, situations, reactions), and accurate feelings.
The synergy between two of the main characters is sizzling. The vulnerability and tenderness are written astonishingly well. It's not sappy or weak or a gimmick—it’s how gay men truly are. A certain character becoming (slightly) versatile throughout the relationship with the man he loves is authentic. Two guys meeting and each being 100% top and 100% bottom is much less true than a broken clock...but try telling that to every other purveyor of this genre.
The Christmas sequence is pivotal. The camaraderie, the presents, and the intimacy that ensues are all quality. The events mark a turning point in the narrative, but the author keeps his cards close to the vest.
The shock and the pain are devastating. There's angst and grief, but these are completely earned. Others attempt to use difficult, heart-wrenching circumstances as tools or as paint-by-numbers guides to get from Point A to Point B. The opposite is done here.
This is exactly how actual gay men feel in actual gay relationships—in a story where joy, pain, lust, and other strong emotions collide. The ending is moving.
The synergy between two of the main characters is sizzling. The vulnerability and tenderness are written astonishingly well. It's not sappy or weak or a gimmick—it’s how gay men truly are. A certain character becoming (slightly) versatile throughout the relationship with the man he loves is authentic. Two guys meeting and each being 100% top and 100% bottom is much less true than a broken clock...but try telling that to every other purveyor of this genre.
The Christmas sequence is pivotal. The camaraderie, the presents, and the intimacy that ensues are all quality. The events mark a turning point in the narrative, but the author keeps his cards close to the vest.
The shock and the pain are devastating. There's angst and grief, but these are completely earned. Others attempt to use difficult, heart-wrenching circumstances as tools or as paint-by-numbers guides to get from Point A to Point B. The opposite is done here.
This is exactly how actual gay men feel in actual gay relationships—in a story where joy, pain, lust, and other strong emotions collide. The ending is moving.
March 8, 2022
Holy hot damn.
Dereham is a 'new to me author', and when I saw an advertisement on Instagram featuring three men on the cover, I was intrigued. I just finished major edits to my latest novel which is M/M/M and I thought...I should read someone else's.
So I picked up Dereham's book. Now, he did warn me that the content could be triggering. But I thought to myself, damn, I write about demons, and monsters, and blood and gore, violence...what could possibly be so triggering.
OMG. Just...I almost couldn't. I was CRUSHED.
Crushed as in...Polyamory isn't represented real well. Society has engrained this version of love as two people in a committed relationship (well, okay, most of the time it's far more heteronormative, but let's be more open-minded than that, shall we?) The concept of three guys coming together and not only being sexually attracted to one another, but also able to have a loving, supportive, and healthy relationship shouldn't be an odd thing. Listen, if you find your one and only and you're happy with that, fantastic! You go, gurl. But for some folks, there's enough space in their hearts for more than one. I think that's beautiful. I won't romanticize throuplehood either - hell, I'm a guy who's been in a long-term, committed relationship with a fantastic man for 24 years. Intimate relationships with one other person has challenges. The dynamics that flow with three people? Exponentially more tough to navigate - I would think.
Now, I'm not gonna lie - the concept of sharing your bed each night with two others is also hot as hell. Dereham does not shy away from this, and as listed in the Genre category in the header of this post I have stated this is erotica. There is boundless amounts of sex. Hot, wet, spicy, furry, gay sex. OMG.
I read most of this on the train to and from work and I had to - *ahem* - settle, before I could walk off.
So, if you're looking for scalding hot, get your fan out, and a cold drink - cause you gonna need it - then the first two-thirds of this book is for you.
And then...
Remember when I said polyamory isn't always represented really well? That it's tough to find stories of throuples where jealousy doesn't rear its ugly head, ultimately destroying the relationship? I thought for sure this is where Dereham was taking this. And it got played out...for pages...and I kept turning every page thinking...here we go...this is where it all falls to shit.
And then Dereham completely gutted me. I hate writing reviews where the reviewer ends up spoiling the plot twist - and I do not want to do that here. All I'll say is this...
The demise of the throuple had nothing to do with jealousy, or the inability of three people to have a loving, committed relationship. It had everything to do with mental health. Absolutely gutted. I went from holy fox dens this is hot to what the fuck just happened?
I almost cried. Seriously. I'm a tough old bitch. It takes a lot to take me there. Even writing this, I'm still aghast. Reflecting back on the events in the story, it was all there, right in front of your face. The mental health issue was done so well. You just didn't see the signs until it was all too late. I lived with someone many, many years ago who was (I believe and will always believe), textbook, undiagnosed bi-polar. I'm not a doctor, it could have been many other things...but reliving that period of my life through this book...damn. Just damn.
Dereham has a full-length novel, Hound, and I've already bought it.
I'm going to leave off the review with this message that the author gave to me, and one I support a hundred and ten percent:
“What I wouldn’t give to be there, to beg him to come down, to pull him into my arms and make him believe it’s worth staying.”
Many of us have grappled with depression and thoughts of self-harm. If this is you, please remember you are not alone. The phone numbers below are available 24/7. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
I’m rooting for you—Colin Dereham.
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline 13 11 14
USA:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1800 273 8255
CANADA:
The Canada Suicide Prevention Service 1833 456 4566
UK:
Supportline: 01708 765200
Dereham is a 'new to me author', and when I saw an advertisement on Instagram featuring three men on the cover, I was intrigued. I just finished major edits to my latest novel which is M/M/M and I thought...I should read someone else's.
So I picked up Dereham's book. Now, he did warn me that the content could be triggering. But I thought to myself, damn, I write about demons, and monsters, and blood and gore, violence...what could possibly be so triggering.
OMG. Just...I almost couldn't. I was CRUSHED.
Crushed as in...Polyamory isn't represented real well. Society has engrained this version of love as two people in a committed relationship (well, okay, most of the time it's far more heteronormative, but let's be more open-minded than that, shall we?) The concept of three guys coming together and not only being sexually attracted to one another, but also able to have a loving, supportive, and healthy relationship shouldn't be an odd thing. Listen, if you find your one and only and you're happy with that, fantastic! You go, gurl. But for some folks, there's enough space in their hearts for more than one. I think that's beautiful. I won't romanticize throuplehood either - hell, I'm a guy who's been in a long-term, committed relationship with a fantastic man for 24 years. Intimate relationships with one other person has challenges. The dynamics that flow with three people? Exponentially more tough to navigate - I would think.
Now, I'm not gonna lie - the concept of sharing your bed each night with two others is also hot as hell. Dereham does not shy away from this, and as listed in the Genre category in the header of this post I have stated this is erotica. There is boundless amounts of sex. Hot, wet, spicy, furry, gay sex. OMG.
I read most of this on the train to and from work and I had to - *ahem* - settle, before I could walk off.
So, if you're looking for scalding hot, get your fan out, and a cold drink - cause you gonna need it - then the first two-thirds of this book is for you.
And then...
Remember when I said polyamory isn't always represented really well? That it's tough to find stories of throuples where jealousy doesn't rear its ugly head, ultimately destroying the relationship? I thought for sure this is where Dereham was taking this. And it got played out...for pages...and I kept turning every page thinking...here we go...this is where it all falls to shit.
And then Dereham completely gutted me. I hate writing reviews where the reviewer ends up spoiling the plot twist - and I do not want to do that here. All I'll say is this...
The demise of the throuple had nothing to do with jealousy, or the inability of three people to have a loving, committed relationship. It had everything to do with mental health. Absolutely gutted. I went from holy fox dens this is hot to what the fuck just happened?
I almost cried. Seriously. I'm a tough old bitch. It takes a lot to take me there. Even writing this, I'm still aghast. Reflecting back on the events in the story, it was all there, right in front of your face. The mental health issue was done so well. You just didn't see the signs until it was all too late. I lived with someone many, many years ago who was (I believe and will always believe), textbook, undiagnosed bi-polar. I'm not a doctor, it could have been many other things...but reliving that period of my life through this book...damn. Just damn.
Dereham has a full-length novel, Hound, and I've already bought it.
I'm going to leave off the review with this message that the author gave to me, and one I support a hundred and ten percent:
“What I wouldn’t give to be there, to beg him to come down, to pull him into my arms and make him believe it’s worth staying.”
Many of us have grappled with depression and thoughts of self-harm. If this is you, please remember you are not alone. The phone numbers below are available 24/7. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
I’m rooting for you—Colin Dereham.
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline 13 11 14
USA:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1800 273 8255
CANADA:
The Canada Suicide Prevention Service 1833 456 4566
UK:
Supportline: 01708 765200
March 18, 2022
This was beyond a pleasant surprise. Gay erotic romance with a poly relationship at its heart, The Lookout is something more than you might expect. I don't want to spoil it by saying too much.
J.P. Jackson has an excellent review of this book on here. Or...
Blog review-
J.P. Jackson has an excellent review of this book on here. Or...
Blog review-
March 11, 2022
This book made me smile and laugh. Made me squirmy and horny. It also made me bawl my eyes out.
First of all, the first half of The Lookout should be in the spank bank of any MMM erotica lover! The sex is steamy, descriptive, and absolutely scorching hot!
Three men find themselves living in one apartment and they share the living space as well as each other. The lovely polyamory works well and shows how three people can complete each other. A lot of character development happens during their naked interaction, showing their passion as well as their care and principles.
Angus, Tom and Patrick stole my heart within the first few pages of this novella. Their love feels real and their relationship and dialogue draw the characters with clear lines.
The twist in the story completely broke me but, to avoid spoilers, I’ll just say: be ready for heartache.
Worry not! The author wraps the story up with a warm HEA.
A hot and emotional read! 5 hairy stars!
I read Hound, the other book in the series, before reading The Lookout but they can be read in any order with equal enjoyment.
First of all, the first half of The Lookout should be in the spank bank of any MMM erotica lover! The sex is steamy, descriptive, and absolutely scorching hot!
Three men find themselves living in one apartment and they share the living space as well as each other. The lovely polyamory works well and shows how three people can complete each other. A lot of character development happens during their naked interaction, showing their passion as well as their care and principles.
Angus, Tom and Patrick stole my heart within the first few pages of this novella. Their love feels real and their relationship and dialogue draw the characters with clear lines.
The twist in the story completely broke me but, to avoid spoilers, I’ll just say: be ready for heartache.
Worry not! The author wraps the story up with a warm HEA.
A hot and emotional read! 5 hairy stars!
I read Hound, the other book in the series, before reading The Lookout but they can be read in any order with equal enjoyment.
May 2, 2022
powerful & emotional
This was such a powerful read! The absolute joy of new love, that dizzy heady feeling off all consuming passion & joy jumps of the page & grabs you by the …….. 🔥🔥🔥. And yet I can already feel my anxiousness growing as Patrick starts to withdraw & shutdown as his mental health deteriorates.
This book (as is Hound) is written with such raw & honest intensity from the passionate & erotic scenes to the sadness, confusion & emptiness of declining mental health, fighting inner demons & devastating loss.
Colin, I have read both books now & your writing is phenomenal, no holds barred which I absolutely love. This book left me a gutted mess; there’s nothing wrong with that, I felt the highs & lows which is credit to you as an author. There is HEA for Gus & Tommy which is tender & beautiful despite their pain.
This was definitely a 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟read for me heartrending & passionate, I felt every emotion possible & will stay with me for a very long time.
This was such a powerful read! The absolute joy of new love, that dizzy heady feeling off all consuming passion & joy jumps of the page & grabs you by the …….. 🔥🔥🔥. And yet I can already feel my anxiousness growing as Patrick starts to withdraw & shutdown as his mental health deteriorates.
This book (as is Hound) is written with such raw & honest intensity from the passionate & erotic scenes to the sadness, confusion & emptiness of declining mental health, fighting inner demons & devastating loss.
Colin, I have read both books now & your writing is phenomenal, no holds barred which I absolutely love. This book left me a gutted mess; there’s nothing wrong with that, I felt the highs & lows which is credit to you as an author. There is HEA for Gus & Tommy which is tender & beautiful despite their pain.
This was definitely a 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟read for me heartrending & passionate, I felt every emotion possible & will stay with me for a very long time.
February 8, 2022
Sexy story of MMM love
Three ruggedly handsome gay men in Australia meet, become housemates and bedmates. What could possibly go wrong?
This book contains many delightfully detailed descriptions of MMM sex. Their passions for one another are so open and honest, making this a refreshing and exciting read. Add in the Aussie slang, and I was hooked!
You almost don't realize how much you're learning about each character, just by reading about their interactions and how they treat one another. This shows a real talent in this author, who was new to me before this book.
The Lookout has more happy endings than a day at a 24-hour massage parlor. And I mean that in a good way. But do all those happy endings lead to a happily ever after? I won't tell, but I highly recommend that you read The Lookout and discover the answer for yourself.
Three ruggedly handsome gay men in Australia meet, become housemates and bedmates. What could possibly go wrong?
This book contains many delightfully detailed descriptions of MMM sex. Their passions for one another are so open and honest, making this a refreshing and exciting read. Add in the Aussie slang, and I was hooked!
You almost don't realize how much you're learning about each character, just by reading about their interactions and how they treat one another. This shows a real talent in this author, who was new to me before this book.
The Lookout has more happy endings than a day at a 24-hour massage parlor. And I mean that in a good way. But do all those happy endings lead to a happily ever after? I won't tell, but I highly recommend that you read The Lookout and discover the answer for yourself.
September 22, 2022
The Heart - Lookout
Colin Dereham owes us an apology. I never saw the tears coming, for this beautiful and bountiful love story. I was not prepared for my heart to grasp at the emotional narrative of Angus’ love. I am still feeling the after effects of the quality of Colin’s storytelling.
There is a rawness to The Lookout. A visceral and human connection of body and heart, limbs and emotions a tumble. A physical yearning, attached to the formidable emotion we call love.
The Lookout has a precarious balance between extremes. Love, in its most physical form, leads to love, in its most devastating one. This, in turn, leads us into true ethereal love.
Make no mistake. This is not some poetic and fancy prose. This is three men, loving each other. Loving being a part of each others’ lives, until they are not. This is a tale of a crushingly beautiful love.
Colin Dereham owes us an apology. I never saw the tears coming, for this beautiful and bountiful love story. I was not prepared for my heart to grasp at the emotional narrative of Angus’ love. I am still feeling the after effects of the quality of Colin’s storytelling.
There is a rawness to The Lookout. A visceral and human connection of body and heart, limbs and emotions a tumble. A physical yearning, attached to the formidable emotion we call love.
The Lookout has a precarious balance between extremes. Love, in its most physical form, leads to love, in its most devastating one. This, in turn, leads us into true ethereal love.
Make no mistake. This is not some poetic and fancy prose. This is three men, loving each other. Loving being a part of each others’ lives, until they are not. This is a tale of a crushingly beautiful love.
February 10, 2022
This book was very sexy but also very emotional. When Gus loses his roommate and has to rent out his spare bedroom, he’s expecting one man when another shows up. Tom is stunning, and Gus is instantly attracted to him. But then Patrick does show up, and he’s adorable and full of light. When Patrick suggests the three have a little fun, it kicks off a very steamy relationship between these three men. Over time, Tom and Gus grow closer as Patrick pulls away, but Tom and Gus can’t figure out what’s wrong. Emotions run high, and all three men struggle.
This turns quite emotional, and what started out as fun quickly develops into so much more. These three men are distinctly unique and the journey is a lovely but intense one.
This turns quite emotional, and what started out as fun quickly develops into so much more. These three men are distinctly unique and the journey is a lovely but intense one.
March 5, 2022
This was a beautiful story about three men who come together and begin a strong passionate romance. I loved all three characters. This story ended up being very emotional for me at a certain point, and I actually had to stop reading a couple times to compose myself. Very well written and the storyline kept my interest. 5 stars.
March 18, 2022
This is basically a story about a throuple and a whole lot of crazy sex. It's kinda sweet, it's kinda dirty, I loved it. But it is also pain, sadness and an intense and deep struggle, just so gently written.
A good novella, I think it qualifies that label, from a new author, he only has two stories out as far as I can see, I've got the other one on my Kindle and I look forward to more from him.
A good novella, I think it qualifies that label, from a new author, he only has two stories out as far as I can see, I've got the other one on my Kindle and I look forward to more from him.
March 11, 2022
Beautiful, hot, very hot, emotional, lovely MMM,
Characters Very intense, passionate....a beautiful story that transforms and shows different ways of love, and the need to talk, talk about feelings, ask for help, offer help, and continue, when the pain seems insurmountable...5⭐
Characters Very intense, passionate....a beautiful story that transforms and shows different ways of love, and the need to talk, talk about feelings, ask for help, offer help, and continue, when the pain seems insurmountable...5⭐
April 3, 2022
3,5 stars. There was a lot to enjoy (🔥🔥🔥), but there were also things that bothered me.
I don't read a lot of MMM. I want to, but for some reason I find it quite difficult to discover books that speak to me in a way I want to pick them up.
This book came on my radar because I read a few good reviews about it and it sounded like something I wanted to give a try. And I'm glad I did, because this book is really HOT, with very hot, descriptive scenes where all three men are involved.
The writing took a little bit of getting used to, can't point out why exactly, but it felt different.
And then I got it, and I was kind of waiting for all the sex to happen, and then I got some sort of insta love on top of it. Which was my main issue with the book. Insta-love really is my least favorite trope and I wouldn't have minded some more chapters that were just about the lust and the sex before love came around the corner. But Angus seems to fall in love immediately with both Tommy and Patrick right the very first time when he meets them, and well...that just doesn't work for me.
The second half of the book takes a more serious twist, and even though that was unexpected and it was also somewhat sad, it didn't grab me by my throat like it had other readers. Of course I felt for these men, but it just wasn't this overall sadness that I was supposed to feel. And I don't know if that was because of the writing, or because I had a hard time connecting with these men, or maybe it already took a wrong turn when I found out about the insta-love. Maybe it wasn't just the right time to read this book? Sometimes it's really frustrating to not be able to put a finger on the why's!
All in all, this was a pleasant read, though I have to admit that most of the stars were because of the hot naked, needing-a-fan-to-cool-down scenes and not because of a plot that grabbed me.
I still plan to read Colin Dereham's next book, because I heard good things about that one too.
I don't read a lot of MMM. I want to, but for some reason I find it quite difficult to discover books that speak to me in a way I want to pick them up.
This book came on my radar because I read a few good reviews about it and it sounded like something I wanted to give a try. And I'm glad I did, because this book is really HOT, with very hot, descriptive scenes where all three men are involved.
The writing took a little bit of getting used to, can't point out why exactly, but it felt different.
And then I got it, and I was kind of waiting for all the sex to happen, and then I got some sort of insta love on top of it. Which was my main issue with the book. Insta-love really is my least favorite trope and I wouldn't have minded some more chapters that were just about the lust and the sex before love came around the corner. But Angus seems to fall in love immediately with both Tommy and Patrick right the very first time when he meets them, and well...that just doesn't work for me.
The second half of the book takes a more serious twist, and even though that was unexpected and it was also somewhat sad, it didn't grab me by my throat like it had other readers. Of course I felt for these men, but it just wasn't this overall sadness that I was supposed to feel. And I don't know if that was because of the writing, or because I had a hard time connecting with these men, or maybe it already took a wrong turn when I found out about the insta-love. Maybe it wasn't just the right time to read this book? Sometimes it's really frustrating to not be able to put a finger on the why's!
All in all, this was a pleasant read, though I have to admit that most of the stars were because of the hot naked, needing-a-fan-to-cool-down scenes and not because of a plot that grabbed me.
I still plan to read Colin Dereham's next book, because I heard good things about that one too.
June 21, 2022
Colins is a new author to me and im glad I found him. From the start I was hooked. I loved all the guys, the difference in personalities and how they all just fit together form the moment they met. Even though this book has very hot MMM action its the emotional and intense feelings of the guys that gets you hooked. Be warned you might be crying by the end of this book.
Find it here The Lookout
Find it here The Lookout
January 1, 2024
HOT HOT HOT
Wow!! All I can say is, the heat level in this little gem…..off the charts scorching!!
If you enjoy MMM, you will definitely want to read this!!
Wow!! All I can say is, the heat level in this little gem…..off the charts scorching!!
If you enjoy MMM, you will definitely want to read this!!
October 3, 2022
ETA: I spoiler-tagged this entire review when it was first posted, but just to be on the safe side, let me take this opportunity to warn you that I spoil the shit out of the book in this review. So if you don't want to be spoiled, do not read on. If you do, please don't bitch about it in the comments. Thanks!
I picked up this novella on the basis of a review that said it was scorching hot MMM that then turned sad and emotional and devastating and blah blah but that ended with a warm HEA (not gonna link to the review, because if that's how the person read it then that's their right. The blurb itself is cagey on the ending, so it's not necessarily the author's fault it was represented this way).
So, let me just clarify:
THIS BOOK DOES NOT HAVE AN HEA!!!!!
This is MMM where all three men meet at the same time (i.e. it is not an established couple bringing a new person in), but where 2 of the men, Gus and Tommy, instantly have a much deeper emotional connection. They DO have hot three-ways, but it is extremely emotionally unbalanced the whole time -- Patrick is basically a sunny bimbo with a hole who they keep around for shits and giggles (and holes). This imbalance culminates in Gus and Tommy professing their undying love while poor Patrick sleeps next to them, then being all shocked that Patrick feels left out by this. Patrick then has a mental health crisis (it is written in a way that implies that these two things are directly connected), and Gus responds to this by trying to convince Patrick that he is still welcome (WHY?? This is clearly an unhealthy situation for Patrick, who we are meant to understand is deeply hurt by his exclusion -- an exclusion that Gus cannot fix since his primary concern is Tommy and vice versa, thus haranguing Patrick into a relationship where he will always be unequal and second fiddle), while Tommy responds by getting pissed off that Patrick's sadness hurts Gus's feefees. Patrick then commits suicide (off-page).
I REPEAT: PATRICK THEN COMMITS SUICIDE!!
Gus is sad. Tommy is sad (although it seemed that Tommy low-key resented Patrick, so who knows?). But Gus and Tommy are still in wuv, and wuv conquers all. Including their third's suicide. Directly connected in the text to his jealousy and feelings of exclusion from their all-conquering love. But hey, two of the three guys got a happy ending over the cold, dead body of the dude they really should have broken up with when they realized how emotionally lopsided their relationship was, because newsflash, even holes have feelings!
How romantic!! Not at all a freaking horror show!!
The writing was also sooooo basic, my god. One of those books where every single thing is spelled out in the most simple language and "character work" consists of other characters telling Gus, the POV MC, what a great guy he is. (IS HE THOUGH?? I am forced to conclude he is not.)
Credit where it's due: for a short little novella with bad writing and negligible character work, it certainly did rouse a disproportionately extreme reaction in me. That it was a negative reaction is regrettable (for me and for this author's GR ranking, I guess), but them's the breaks, as BoJo would say. On the plus side, I feel better getting all this off my chest. Sorry, author.
So friends: do yourselves a favor and avoid! Avoid!
Unless your notion of an HEA is "2 out of 3 ain't bad."
I picked up this novella on the basis of a review that said it was scorching hot MMM that then turned sad and emotional and devastating and blah blah but that ended with a warm HEA (not gonna link to the review, because if that's how the person read it then that's their right. The blurb itself is cagey on the ending, so it's not necessarily the author's fault it was represented this way).
So, let me just clarify:
THIS BOOK DOES NOT HAVE AN HEA!!!!!
This is MMM where all three men meet at the same time (i.e. it is not an established couple bringing a new person in), but where 2 of the men, Gus and Tommy, instantly have a much deeper emotional connection. They DO have hot three-ways, but it is extremely emotionally unbalanced the whole time -- Patrick is basically a sunny bimbo with a hole who they keep around for shits and giggles (and holes). This imbalance culminates in Gus and Tommy professing their undying love while poor Patrick sleeps next to them, then being all shocked that Patrick feels left out by this. Patrick then has a mental health crisis (it is written in a way that implies that these two things are directly connected), and Gus responds to this by trying to convince Patrick that he is still welcome (WHY?? This is clearly an unhealthy situation for Patrick, who we are meant to understand is deeply hurt by his exclusion -- an exclusion that Gus cannot fix since his primary concern is Tommy and vice versa, thus haranguing Patrick into a relationship where he will always be unequal and second fiddle), while Tommy responds by getting pissed off that Patrick's sadness hurts Gus's feefees. Patrick then commits suicide (off-page).
I REPEAT: PATRICK THEN COMMITS SUICIDE!!
Gus is sad. Tommy is sad (although it seemed that Tommy low-key resented Patrick, so who knows?). But Gus and Tommy are still in wuv, and wuv conquers all. Including their third's suicide. Directly connected in the text to his jealousy and feelings of exclusion from their all-conquering love. But hey, two of the three guys got a happy ending over the cold, dead body of the dude they really should have broken up with when they realized how emotionally lopsided their relationship was, because newsflash, even holes have feelings!
How romantic!! Not at all a freaking horror show!!
The writing was also sooooo basic, my god. One of those books where every single thing is spelled out in the most simple language and "character work" consists of other characters telling Gus, the POV MC, what a great guy he is. (IS HE THOUGH?? I am forced to conclude he is not.)
Credit where it's due: for a short little novella with bad writing and negligible character work, it certainly did rouse a disproportionately extreme reaction in me. That it was a negative reaction is regrettable (for me and for this author's GR ranking, I guess), but them's the breaks, as BoJo would say. On the plus side, I feel better getting all this off my chest. Sorry, author.
So friends: do yourselves a favor and avoid! Avoid!
Unless your notion of an HEA is "2 out of 3 ain't bad."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 19, 2023
Colin Dereham owes us an apology. I never saw the tears coming, for this beautiful and bountiful love story. I was not prepared for my heart to grasp at the emotional narrative of Angus’ love. I am still feeling the after effects of the quality of Colin’s storytelling.
There is a rawness to The Lookout. A visceral and human connection of body and heart., limbs and emotions a tumble. A physical yearning, attached to the formidable emotion we call love.
The Lookout has a precarious balance between extremes. Love, in its most physical form, leads to love, in its most devastating one. This, in turn, leads us into true ethereal love.
Make no mistake. This is not some poetic and fancy prose. This is three men, loving each other. Loving being a part of each others’ lives, until they are not. This is a tale of a crushingly beautiful love.
There is a rawness to The Lookout. A visceral and human connection of body and heart., limbs and emotions a tumble. A physical yearning, attached to the formidable emotion we call love.
The Lookout has a precarious balance between extremes. Love, in its most physical form, leads to love, in its most devastating one. This, in turn, leads us into true ethereal love.
Make no mistake. This is not some poetic and fancy prose. This is three men, loving each other. Loving being a part of each others’ lives, until they are not. This is a tale of a crushingly beautiful love.
March 6, 2022
I enjoyed this engaging, fast-paced read. It follows the high energy, erotic journey of three men who start out as roommates with benefits then progress to a passionate and committed threesome. It's a fun, steamy story with lots of no holds barred passion and sex...until something goes wrong. I won't say more to avoid spoilers, but I think the book description should include trigger warnings for mental health issues. It's a very emotional read and I think it handles the sensitive topics with grace and care. Great first read from a new-to-me author.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
May 31, 2022
This book has it all. Steam level 5, story 5 relatable 100%.
Colin writes a candid tale of two men falling in love the initial lust stage over month to falling into a steady thing. If I could give it more I would. Colin is very talented I had to have the paper backs.
Colin writes a candid tale of two men falling in love the initial lust stage over month to falling into a steady thing. If I could give it more I would. Colin is very talented I had to have the paper backs.
June 19, 2022
“𝙏𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙜𝙪𝙮𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧.”
This was my second book by Colin, and was just as pleased as the other one. His writing style is unique, with an exceptional development of characters. And, how he was able to successfully crush every stigma on society of polygamy relationships. AND, the intensity of emotions was remarkably passionate.
“𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙.”
Their support for one another was phenomenal, never shying away from the concept of sharing a bed with three partners. The erotica included in the book was fiercely written and smoking hot! Smut scenes were spicy, hairy, and wet, so be prepared! Nothing against females writing gay romance, but there’s just something intensely sexy about it coming from a man’s POV.
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠.
Polygamy relationships are difficult to successfully discuss in literature. There’s always some form of jealousy that occurs, ultimately ruining the throuple. But, Colin completely gutted me with this ending. I hate spoiling a story this good, but loss of a loved one to suicide is very close to home for me. If you or anyone you know has expressed even of an ounce of harming themselves, please let them know they are not alone.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.
800-273-8255
This was my second book by Colin, and was just as pleased as the other one. His writing style is unique, with an exceptional development of characters. And, how he was able to successfully crush every stigma on society of polygamy relationships. AND, the intensity of emotions was remarkably passionate.
“𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙.”
Their support for one another was phenomenal, never shying away from the concept of sharing a bed with three partners. The erotica included in the book was fiercely written and smoking hot! Smut scenes were spicy, hairy, and wet, so be prepared! Nothing against females writing gay romance, but there’s just something intensely sexy about it coming from a man’s POV.
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠.
Polygamy relationships are difficult to successfully discuss in literature. There’s always some form of jealousy that occurs, ultimately ruining the throuple. But, Colin completely gutted me with this ending. I hate spoiling a story this good, but loss of a loved one to suicide is very close to home for me. If you or anyone you know has expressed even of an ounce of harming themselves, please let them know they are not alone.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.
800-273-8255
March 7, 2022
What a brilliant read
This is the first book that I have read by Colin Dereham And wow I’m blown away by his style of writing.
Angus “Gus” He’s looking for a new roommate. And he can’t believe his luck went two amazing handsome guys come to look at the room. He ends up moving his study into his bedroom so both men can move in. There is an instant attraction between these guys and that night they find themselves in a Trouple. The Chemistry that these guys have together is just off the charts. There is something extremely special about Tom and Patrick. They have such different personalities that between the three of them it just makes a brilliant relationship. But then something happens that changes everything.
I honestly could not put this book down. The chemistry and the passion that fills these pages is just sizzling then there’s a deeper story within that really touches your heart. Honestly I cannot wait to read more from Colin such a brilliant read. You will not be disappointed in this book.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and I’m voluntary leaving a review.
This is the first book that I have read by Colin Dereham And wow I’m blown away by his style of writing.
Angus “Gus” He’s looking for a new roommate. And he can’t believe his luck went two amazing handsome guys come to look at the room. He ends up moving his study into his bedroom so both men can move in. There is an instant attraction between these guys and that night they find themselves in a Trouple. The Chemistry that these guys have together is just off the charts. There is something extremely special about Tom and Patrick. They have such different personalities that between the three of them it just makes a brilliant relationship. But then something happens that changes everything.
I honestly could not put this book down. The chemistry and the passion that fills these pages is just sizzling then there’s a deeper story within that really touches your heart. Honestly I cannot wait to read more from Colin such a brilliant read. You will not be disappointed in this book.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and I’m voluntary leaving a review.
August 21, 2022
Colin Dereham is definitely one of the best authors I have encountered in a long time. The characters are amazingly realistic, you could easily imagine actually meeting them in person. The feelings are huge and mental issues are dealt with very sympathetically. Even after multiple rereads I still need a box of tissues at the ready. Please heed trigger warnings if necessary.
August 3, 2022
Love and loss
Such a heartfelt story. I loved the diversity of the characters and how much they loved each other. When things fell apart I was devastated. This brings the reality of mental health to light, yet still has a happy ending.
Such a heartfelt story. I loved the diversity of the characters and how much they loved each other. When things fell apart I was devastated. This brings the reality of mental health to light, yet still has a happy ending.
March 13, 2022
Such a wonderful and tear-jerking M/M/M story! I absolutely enjoyed reading this story! I was excited when it was a M/M/M type of trope which I totally enjoyed!!!
This is a story about a guy who needed to rent out a room to help supplement his income because his last roommate moved out. He was set to interview two potential roommates for one available bedroom. However, both guys came at the same time because one was late for the appointment. He had a change of heart and decided to move his office into his bedroom so he could rent out to both guys. This led to M/M/M relationship which was very steamy and delicious! Why did I say it was tear-jerking when I read it? You have to read it to find out!
I am so happy I had the opportunity to read it. I look forward to more of Colin Dereham's future stories!
This is a story about a guy who needed to rent out a room to help supplement his income because his last roommate moved out. He was set to interview two potential roommates for one available bedroom. However, both guys came at the same time because one was late for the appointment. He had a change of heart and decided to move his office into his bedroom so he could rent out to both guys. This led to M/M/M relationship which was very steamy and delicious! Why did I say it was tear-jerking when I read it? You have to read it to find out!
I am so happy I had the opportunity to read it. I look forward to more of Colin Dereham's future stories!
July 10, 2022
Not many authours can deliver "real life" as Colin Dereham does. This book is yet again the proof of it.
This love/life story starts with a very light, playful, joyful mood: 3 men meet each other during their own personal life rebound, all of them need a new life and something to take off their heavy thoughts from their head. They find each other and from a totally casual, noncommittal start they find themselves deep in love with each other. Everything seems perfect until life does what life does...
This book will give you joy, laughter, anger, sorrow and a bitter sweet happy ending that will leave you with the promise that life will give them a lot but not without putting up a fight, cause real life is not for the fainted-hearted.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This love/life story starts with a very light, playful, joyful mood: 3 men meet each other during their own personal life rebound, all of them need a new life and something to take off their heavy thoughts from their head. They find each other and from a totally casual, noncommittal start they find themselves deep in love with each other. Everything seems perfect until life does what life does...
This book will give you joy, laughter, anger, sorrow and a bitter sweet happy ending that will leave you with the promise that life will give them a lot but not without putting up a fight, cause real life is not for the fainted-hearted.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
April 2, 2022
Wow
This is my first book by Colin wow now my new author I will go to
I love the way you write Colin brilliant love story
Made me laugh omg cry
Loads of sex some nice some not so but we are all different it did stop me to finish the book
My heart is broken 💔
Patrick suicide hurt
Brought back a memory for me
Thank you Colin I love the stroy
This is my first book by Colin wow now my new author I will go to
I love the way you write Colin brilliant love story
Made me laugh omg cry
Loads of sex some nice some not so but we are all different it did stop me to finish the book
My heart is broken 💔
Patrick suicide hurt
Brought back a memory for me
Thank you Colin I love the stroy
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 15, 2022
I won’t restate what is already stated in other reviews regarding imbalance in trio, 2 self-centered MC’s, and lack of a happy ending. I just felt sad… then angry… then more sad.
Read
November 14, 2022Can’t rate this. Won’t rate this.
It was beautifully written,
I already read the Short Story Collection
„One night Stand“ as well as „Hound“
and both were so much fun!
Colin Dereham does joy and love and happiness in such a raw and honest way!
He does spicey scenes really good and it never gets boring!
But he also isn’t afraid to show this raw ugly and realistic aspect of mental health!
Major Kudos on that!
I can also feel with all the dark, depressed and nasty.
So with the Lookout we get Angus’ POV
who would’ve guessed that an add for a roommate ends with this intensive love-fest of a throuple!
I loved it!
Tommy and Patrick were so wholesome, each in their own way.
While reading I was kinda worried from day one that one of them might feel left out. Tommy and Angus have instantaneously a strong connection. I was mother-henning over Patrick like nonstop.
I loved they’re different dynamics but I felt anxious throughout the whole book that it might end up in a break-up to couple scenario, well.
I knew that mental health will be a strong theme with this one, I didn’t knew of the impact.
I‘m still crying, I just can’t handle major character deaths (especially suicide).
I know that this is in fact a super realistic depiction of the impact of mental health (bipolar disorder)
Quote:
“Twelve months since we were here with you mate, and we love you more than ever.”
—
So I really can’t rate this.
I‘m too emotional.
If this would have come with the explicit warning, and not just „mental health issues“
I wouldn’t have read it.
At 50% I started reading a few reviews to figure out if it would end in suicide for one of the throuple…idk why but a lot of ppl thought this was a spoiler not worth mentioning.
—
+t2s
+NoveMMBear
It was beautifully written,
I already read the Short Story Collection
„One night Stand“ as well as „Hound“
and both were so much fun!
Colin Dereham does joy and love and happiness in such a raw and honest way!
He does spicey scenes really good and it never gets boring!
But he also isn’t afraid to show this raw ugly and realistic aspect of mental health!
Major Kudos on that!
I can also feel with all the dark, depressed and nasty.
So with the Lookout we get Angus’ POV
who would’ve guessed that an add for a roommate ends with this intensive love-fest of a throuple!
I loved it!
Tommy and Patrick were so wholesome, each in their own way.
While reading I was kinda worried from day one that one of them might feel left out. Tommy and Angus have instantaneously a strong connection. I was mother-henning over Patrick like nonstop.
I loved they’re different dynamics but I felt anxious throughout the whole book that it might end up in a break-up to couple scenario, well.
I knew that mental health will be a strong theme with this one, I didn’t knew of the impact.
I‘m still crying, I just can’t handle major character deaths (especially suicide).
I know that this is in fact a super realistic depiction of the impact of mental health (bipolar disorder)
Quote:
“Twelve months since we were here with you mate, and we love you more than ever.”
—
So I really can’t rate this.
I‘m too emotional.
If this would have come with the explicit warning, and not just „mental health issues“
I wouldn’t have read it.
At 50% I started reading a few reviews to figure out if it would end in suicide for one of the throuple…idk why but a lot of ppl thought this was a spoiler not worth mentioning.
—
+t2s
+NoveMMBear
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 6, 2025
It started out quick and dirty, and just got better and better. I literally couldn’t have been happier that my broke ass could finally read the couple of stories I couldn’t get my hands on before. The realest of the real everything, heartbreakingly beautiful, powerful and emotional and almost too much for a wimpy-ass bitch like me… I will never not be obsessed with accuracy making it between the covers of a book.
Then suddenly I was fucking sobbing until I couldn’t breathe and I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS AND HE IS GONNA HEAR ABOUT THEM. I know you see this, and you emailed me at the wrong time, bestie. I’m gonna cry to you specifically because you hurt my feelings and I feel like you should suffer with me. MY WHOLE GODDAMN FACE AND CHEST HURT AND I DEFINITELY (LOVINGLY) BLAME YOU.
5/5. Because there’s no reason for it not to be. Thank you and good night. Gonna go have myself a breakdown AGAIN to make it hurt less. Also, the new covers are beautiful and I love them.
Then suddenly I was fucking sobbing until I couldn’t breathe and I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS AND HE IS GONNA HEAR ABOUT THEM. I know you see this, and you emailed me at the wrong time, bestie. I’m gonna cry to you specifically because you hurt my feelings and I feel like you should suffer with me. MY WHOLE GODDAMN FACE AND CHEST HURT AND I DEFINITELY (LOVINGLY) BLAME YOU.
5/5. Because there’s no reason for it not to be. Thank you and good night. Gonna go have myself a breakdown AGAIN to make it hurt less. Also, the new covers are beautiful and I love them.
March 2, 2023
Wow...this book (novella, I think)...so many emotions...
First, aaaall the steam, and I mean completely uninhibited, unbridled. Free and happy this throuple stumbles through their first few months.
Then, I sensed Patrick's strange behavior and immediately knew what might happen. My heart began to ache as the situation wouldn't get better.
And the story became heartbreaking. I haven't cried over a book in a long time. But, as some of these things hit close to home, I was wrecked.
Such a wonderful, emotional book.
It's short but all the more intensive.
So if you want to read it, check the TW!!!
First, aaaall the steam, and I mean completely uninhibited, unbridled. Free and happy this throuple stumbles through their first few months.
Then, I sensed Patrick's strange behavior and immediately knew what might happen. My heart began to ache as the situation wouldn't get better.
And the story became heartbreaking. I haven't cried over a book in a long time. But, as some of these things hit close to home, I was wrecked.
Such a wonderful, emotional book.
It's short but all the more intensive.
So if you want to read it, check the TW!!!
April 27, 2023
Colin Dereham has done it again!
I had read all of Colin’s other books, I dived into The Lookout today.
A dynamic read with characters to match!
This book has it all, passion, uninhibited love, and pure sensuality between these three men.
Colin writes with his heart, I can feel it in his writing, he writes honestly and as it is, always his writing draws me in and holds me hostage until I see the word “The End”
This book contains happiness and some sadness that certainly made me think!
We all need to communicate with our partners, share feelings, and most importantly ask for help don’t bottle your emotions up, and always show compassion!
I had read all of Colin’s other books, I dived into The Lookout today.
A dynamic read with characters to match!
This book has it all, passion, uninhibited love, and pure sensuality between these three men.
Colin writes with his heart, I can feel it in his writing, he writes honestly and as it is, always his writing draws me in and holds me hostage until I see the word “The End”
This book contains happiness and some sadness that certainly made me think!
We all need to communicate with our partners, share feelings, and most importantly ask for help don’t bottle your emotions up, and always show compassion!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews