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Call Me When You're Dead
Call Me When You're Dead is a darkly comic novel about payback gone wild, gone sour, maybe even sweet. "If anything bad happens to me, I want you to get him." That's what Eleanor Birch's glamorous friend Sasha Cole requests of her during a New York City dinner one hot August night. Something bad does happen, and Eleanor is forced to become another person altogether in the wilds of Manhattan, acting as her own little Pygmalion in the harsh world of advertising and its remorseless denizens. How she triumphs, and how her prey becomes first her ally and then her lover, makes her journey a tragic romp, a hilarious disaster, and even an all-out farce--but one with very serious consequences.
368 pages, Paperback
First published September 6, 2022
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September 13, 2022*looks at the GR rating - oof*
Yes, we were all hoping for Finlay Donovan.
The premise of Call Me When You're Dead sounded fun: Eleanor meets up with her old school friend Sasha, who says that Sasha's mystery boyfriend, who works in advertising, has dumped her. Then she asks Eleanor to promise that if anything happens to her, Eleanor will "get him."
Then Sasha's lawyer gives Eleanor $50,000 to "do the job." Eleanor does not understand. I do not understand. WHY CAN'T THESE PEOPLE SPEAK DIRECTLY?
After that, someone sends Eleanor an invitation to Sasha's funeral. I still don't understand. Did someone murder Sasha? Was it the boyfriend? What kind of book is this.
I really tried to follow the plot but eventually I had to skim to the end. The writing style of this book didn't flow easily at all and for me as a reader, wasn't a good fit.
If you are curious I'm not even sure. I re-read certain parts multiple times and still don't understand.
This book confused me. I thought the premise was fun, but for me, the writing style really got in the way of the storytelling.
Look, I'm the first to say that writing a book is HARD. Even if you have an interesting premise, you need to be able to figure out how to tell the story so that the reader is along for the ride. And I feel like this book had grammatical sentences, etc, but still struggled with telling an intelligible story. It was like sentences put into a blender.
Thanks to the publisher for providing an advance copy for review!
Yes, we were all hoping for Finlay Donovan.
The premise of Call Me When You're Dead sounded fun: Eleanor meets up with her old school friend Sasha, who says that Sasha's mystery boyfriend, who works in advertising, has dumped her. Then she asks Eleanor to promise that if anything happens to her, Eleanor will "get him."
Then Sasha's lawyer gives Eleanor $50,000 to "do the job." Eleanor does not understand. I do not understand. WHY CAN'T THESE PEOPLE SPEAK DIRECTLY?
After that, someone sends Eleanor an invitation to Sasha's funeral. I still don't understand. Did someone murder Sasha? Was it the boyfriend? What kind of book is this.
I really tried to follow the plot but eventually I had to skim to the end. The writing style of this book didn't flow easily at all and for me as a reader, wasn't a good fit.
If you are curious I'm not even sure. I re-read certain parts multiple times and still don't understand.
This book confused me. I thought the premise was fun, but for me, the writing style really got in the way of the storytelling.
Look, I'm the first to say that writing a book is HARD. Even if you have an interesting premise, you need to be able to figure out how to tell the story so that the reader is along for the ride. And I feel like this book had grammatical sentences, etc, but still struggled with telling an intelligible story. It was like sentences put into a blender.
Thanks to the publisher for providing an advance copy for review!
July 26, 2022
I wanted to read this book because I'm looking for a good "cozy mystery" that is similar to "Finlay Donavon is Killing It". I don't think this was like that at all. I couldn't connect to the characters and the writing and the dialogue was all over the place and didn't make any sense. I couldn't even bring myself to care about the mystery.
August 8, 2022
Finished reading: August 7th 2022
DNF at 18% (66 pages)
"It was the air of sabotage, and Jonathan sniffed it uncomfortably, then eyeballed two of the scarier females in the agency standing by the coffee machine in the front lounge."
*** A copy of this book was kindly provided to me by Netgalley and She Writes Press in exchange for an honest review. Thank you! ***
P.S. Find more of my reviews here.
August 15, 2022
Cute cover, right? Reminds you of the Finlay Donovan books, right?? Snappy title whose blurb makes you think it’s going to be a similarly snarky dark comedic read to hold you over until Finlay #3 comes out??? Fun cosplay cover???? That’s where the similarities end. I was totally catfished by the publisher.
I hate doing this but my promise has always been to leave honest reviews, and this goes down as probably the dumbest and worst written book I’ve read in years.
Stupid plot. Undeveloped characters. Choppy writing. Flatlined action the whole way through. Broken dialogue. Zero arc. No humor. Nothing to do with the title. Absolute waste of time. Zero redeeming qualities in this book. I don’t know this author and would have thought it her first novel but she’s written other books. Seriously, soooooo bad.
But kudos to her for getting her team to basically steal from the Finlay popularity, copy the book jacket, and leave suckers like me thinking they will get a witty and funny fast paced read. It hits the shelves 9/6 and you should hit the ground running in the opposite direction if you see it. Shame on She Writes Press Publications for even printing this book and for the blatant artistic plagiarism.
Don’t fall for the knock off. It’s not even close to a cheap imitation. If you haven’t read Elle Cosimano’s books though make sure to give the real ones a go. They are such fun.
Thanks NetGalley for this arc.
I hate doing this but my promise has always been to leave honest reviews, and this goes down as probably the dumbest and worst written book I’ve read in years.
Stupid plot. Undeveloped characters. Choppy writing. Flatlined action the whole way through. Broken dialogue. Zero arc. No humor. Nothing to do with the title. Absolute waste of time. Zero redeeming qualities in this book. I don’t know this author and would have thought it her first novel but she’s written other books. Seriously, soooooo bad.
But kudos to her for getting her team to basically steal from the Finlay popularity, copy the book jacket, and leave suckers like me thinking they will get a witty and funny fast paced read. It hits the shelves 9/6 and you should hit the ground running in the opposite direction if you see it. Shame on She Writes Press Publications for even printing this book and for the blatant artistic plagiarism.
Don’t fall for the knock off. It’s not even close to a cheap imitation. If you haven’t read Elle Cosimano’s books though make sure to give the real ones a go. They are such fun.
Thanks NetGalley for this arc.
September 13, 2022
I try to go into every book with a positive attitude because I really hate writing negative reviews. It sounded so interesting that I couldn't wait to get into it. This book was all over the place. It jumps around from one person to the next and it's hard to keep track of what's going on. First it's told from one person's point of view and then jumps over to someone else and it's very confusing. The writing style was so hard to follow that I gave up at 7%, an absolute first for me. I cannot recommend this book.
I received a copy from #NetGalley for an honest review.
I received a copy from #NetGalley for an honest review.
August 30, 2022
I really wanted to like it, but unfortunately the bad dialogues got in the way 😵💫 I enjoyed some scenes and paragraphs (I even highlighted some of them), but I didn't like the characters and the way they grow through the story. I think someone else could like this book, but not me :/
August 18, 2022
(DNF at 20%) The cover and description of this book seemed so interesting that I couldn't wait to pick it up, but wow was I disappointed. The last thing Eleanor's friend told her is, "If anything bad happens to me, I want you to get him." So when her friend suddenly dies, Eleanor does what she promised and tries to find the boyfriend her friend told her about. At least, that is what the description said. I couldn't understand what was going on. It was not a coherent read. The paragraphs jumped from topic to topic and couldn't understand what the author was trying to say, or the plot points the author was trying to convey. The characters were well described but not introduced with any apparent purpose. They were also not loveable characters and I couldn't connect with any of them. I think the third person perspective did not help the author because it let her jump from idea to idea, and character to character without forcing her to have some consistency in the story that would have allowed the plot to be coherent. For example, within the first few chapter, Eleanor's friend had given her the ominous message, gone radio silent, died, had a funeral, and Eleanor had begun to track down the boyfriend. It jumped so quickly from point to point that I struggled to identify what the mystery even was for most of the book. Unfortuantely, I dislike the book so much that I ended up giving up 20% through.
Thank you to Netgalley, She Writes Press, and A.R. Taylor for an ARC in exchange for my honest review. I wanted to love it but unfortunately was disappointed.
Thank you to Netgalley, She Writes Press, and A.R. Taylor for an ARC in exchange for my honest review. I wanted to love it but unfortunately was disappointed.
September 23, 2022
When medical research librarian Eleanor Birch (aka Ellie), who resides and works in Ithaca, New York, is bestowed with a mission posthumously after her prep school friend singular Sasha Cole meets her early demise, the task takes on a challenging and mysterious tone. demeanor
In pursuit of her quest Eleanor is thrust into the cutthroat cunning world of contemporary advertising business aka “Madison Avenue” that’s held interest and allure in film and television for many years (e.g. successful television episodic program Mad Men just one example). The many “players” include wonder boy handsome Jonathan Neel, 15 year veteran of the competitive industry, who Ellie comes to know surreptitiously vis a vis her endeavor that takes on a far more personal perspective as the story unfolds.
With clever turn of phrase and insight into the mayhem of the advertising and medical worlds author A.R. Taylor, in her third novel, weaves a story of ambition, betrayal, revenge, loyalty, covert romance, family dynamics, and a touch of “Pygmalion.”
Rather naive Ellie moves to NYC on a research assignment and the timing corresponds to the plan unfolding with the help of another of Sasha’s friends, the dashing actor Tony Lowe, as she transforms from placid personality to savvy and stylish, while still retaining her own code of ethics.
The technical commentary regarding the medical research is impressive though at times more visceral than this reader appreciates, as is the candid diction from the ad men and women that somehow has become a society norm, and while demonstrating veracity reflects the decorum (or lack thereof) of current times.
Given the mysterious aspect can’t say more, except it’s a “good read”!
In pursuit of her quest Eleanor is thrust into the cutthroat cunning world of contemporary advertising business aka “Madison Avenue” that’s held interest and allure in film and television for many years (e.g. successful television episodic program Mad Men just one example). The many “players” include wonder boy handsome Jonathan Neel, 15 year veteran of the competitive industry, who Ellie comes to know surreptitiously vis a vis her endeavor that takes on a far more personal perspective as the story unfolds.
With clever turn of phrase and insight into the mayhem of the advertising and medical worlds author A.R. Taylor, in her third novel, weaves a story of ambition, betrayal, revenge, loyalty, covert romance, family dynamics, and a touch of “Pygmalion.”
Rather naive Ellie moves to NYC on a research assignment and the timing corresponds to the plan unfolding with the help of another of Sasha’s friends, the dashing actor Tony Lowe, as she transforms from placid personality to savvy and stylish, while still retaining her own code of ethics.
The technical commentary regarding the medical research is impressive though at times more visceral than this reader appreciates, as is the candid diction from the ad men and women that somehow has become a society norm, and while demonstrating veracity reflects the decorum (or lack thereof) of current times.
Given the mysterious aspect can’t say more, except it’s a “good read”!
November 28, 2022
"𝙱𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚍, 𝚂𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚊 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍.”
Eleanor Birch is a medical librarian and Sasha Cole’s best friend. Unfortunately, Sasha had a car accident outside Chicago. Sasha left Eleanor a will – to find her delinquent and errant boyfriend. Once the task had been completed, Eleanor will receive her bonus. With this mission, Eleanor experienced the harsh world of people working in the advertising industry in New York.
I almost DNF the book, because the pacing of the storyline was too slow. Although my reading experience was unpleasant, I still chose to stick myself with the book until the end. It was told from the POV of a third person narrative. It was interesting and caught my interest. Until I reached 20% of it, I was still trying to understand the plot. I was curious if Eleanor will be able to complete her task. When I reached the end, it had made me think about what truly matters. Forgiveness means letting go of our grudges toward those who caused us pain, and compassionately release the desire to punish them. Despite this, the author still deserve kudos, you got me hooked on that part
Eleanor Birch is a medical librarian and Sasha Cole’s best friend. Unfortunately, Sasha had a car accident outside Chicago. Sasha left Eleanor a will – to find her delinquent and errant boyfriend. Once the task had been completed, Eleanor will receive her bonus. With this mission, Eleanor experienced the harsh world of people working in the advertising industry in New York.
I almost DNF the book, because the pacing of the storyline was too slow. Although my reading experience was unpleasant, I still chose to stick myself with the book until the end. It was told from the POV of a third person narrative. It was interesting and caught my interest. Until I reached 20% of it, I was still trying to understand the plot. I was curious if Eleanor will be able to complete her task. When I reached the end, it had made me think about what truly matters. Forgiveness means letting go of our grudges toward those who caused us pain, and compassionately release the desire to punish them. Despite this, the author still deserve kudos, you got me hooked on that part
August 30, 2022
“You can’t take all the world’s problems on your back. It prevents you from having a real life of you own.”
I was fully captivated by the cover of this book, thinking it would be a fast paced and thrilling read. It definitely was not… so if you’re looking for a thriller, this book is not for you. However, if you’re looking for a story with strong character development and a slower plot, this one may be for you! After the sudden death of her friend, Eleanor transforms from a shy, rule-following, insecure woman into a confident and resilient woman in a search for the truth.
The plot had way too much going on, filled with events and characters that didn’t seem relevant to the main premise at all. I did enjoy the ending and I appreciated the prominent themes of friendship and forgiveness.
Thank you @BookSparks + @A.R_Taylor for this gifted ARC (publication date: September 9, 2022). #FallPopUp #CallMeWhenYoureDead
I was fully captivated by the cover of this book, thinking it would be a fast paced and thrilling read. It definitely was not… so if you’re looking for a thriller, this book is not for you. However, if you’re looking for a story with strong character development and a slower plot, this one may be for you! After the sudden death of her friend, Eleanor transforms from a shy, rule-following, insecure woman into a confident and resilient woman in a search for the truth.
The plot had way too much going on, filled with events and characters that didn’t seem relevant to the main premise at all. I did enjoy the ending and I appreciated the prominent themes of friendship and forgiveness.
Thank you @BookSparks + @A.R_Taylor for this gifted ARC (publication date: September 9, 2022). #FallPopUp #CallMeWhenYoureDead
July 31, 2022
I almost DNF the book, because the pacing of the storyline was too slow. Although my reading experience was unpleasant, I still chose to stick myself with the book until the end. It was told from the POV of a third person narrative. It was interesting and caught my interest. Until I reached 20% of it, I was still trying to understand the plot. I was curious if Eleanor will be able to complete her task. When I reached the end, it had made me think about what truly matters. Forgiveness means letting go of our grudges toward those who caused us pain, and compassionately release the desire to punish them. Despite this, the author still deserve kudos, you got me hooked on that part.
Special thanks to @netgalley and the publisher, She Writes Press, for granting my request to receive an e-ARC in exchange for an unbiased review. Thank you for making this available.
Special thanks to @netgalley and the publisher, She Writes Press, for granting my request to receive an e-ARC in exchange for an unbiased review. Thank you for making this available.
December 5, 2022
I cannot believe how little happens in this book. The plot is almost non-existent, I could sum it up in one sentence: When her friend dies in a horrible crash and leaves Eleanor with a mission to 'get' her boyfriend, Eleanor eventually realizes she's meant to fall in love with him instead. I think that she's supposed to have this wonderful transformation, but it's told instead of shown, and the romance completely lacks any chemistry. There is an entire subplot that has almost nothing to do with the rest of the story, but contains some of the only interesting characters in the entire book.
Overall I wouldn't recommend this book. To me, it read like a first draft-- there are salvageable parts, it just needs a whole lot of work.
Overall I wouldn't recommend this book. To me, it read like a first draft-- there are salvageable parts, it just needs a whole lot of work.
July 3, 2022
3.5 stars!
I adored the cover so I thought it'd be paced hard and fast like that.
It was not. Which was a tad disappointing.
But honestly saying, the plot was SOLID, I wish it was a bit more detailed and not very "shady shady" in the start.
And since it had a SLOW buildup, it was easy to want to drop it at times but I persevered!!
And I enjoyed the ending. I kinda wish that Eleanor's thoughts were described a bit more clearly with preferably shorter sentences because I personally felt that she was a bit all over the place at times.
But other than all that, it was REALLY enjoyable!
*** I received this book as an ARC from NetGalley***
I adored the cover so I thought it'd be paced hard and fast like that.
It was not. Which was a tad disappointing.
But honestly saying, the plot was SOLID, I wish it was a bit more detailed and not very "shady shady" in the start.
And since it had a SLOW buildup, it was easy to want to drop it at times but I persevered!!
And I enjoyed the ending. I kinda wish that Eleanor's thoughts were described a bit more clearly with preferably shorter sentences because I personally felt that she was a bit all over the place at times.
But other than all that, it was REALLY enjoyable!
*** I received this book as an ARC from NetGalley***
September 9, 2022
"If anything happens to me, I want you to get him", said Eleanore to Sasha not long before she died. So get him she tries.
I have seen many bad reviews about this book, and this one is no better. It was not for me. My bad for judging a book by it's cover. Maybe if I went in not expecting Finlay Donovan vibes, I could've appreciated more. I also read it as an ARC on Kindle, and the formatting was weird in many places, so it hindered my reading experience, but I'm pretty sure the final version's formatting will be better.
I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I have seen many bad reviews about this book, and this one is no better. It was not for me. My bad for judging a book by it's cover. Maybe if I went in not expecting Finlay Donovan vibes, I could've appreciated more. I also read it as an ARC on Kindle, and the formatting was weird in many places, so it hindered my reading experience, but I'm pretty sure the final version's formatting will be better.
I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
July 18, 2022
Nora Ephron meets John Kennedy Toole vibes. It’s not a good mix. I assume this is set in present day, but something about the writing and dialogue had me picturing big hair and shoulder pads. This world circles around NYC Ad executives, stretch limos and steak dinners. The descriptions of people also felt dated. There is a receptionist in the beginning who is described as “young black woman”, then much later someone is described as “the Argentine seducer”. Nobody else’s race is mentioned which made the point of calling this out for just two background characters sit weird.
Not much to say for this cast of fast talking, self destructive characters with zero build. Most of the dialogue and occurrences do not move the plot forward. When we were finally getting somewhere I looked at my Kindle progress and I was 93% in. Woof. A shame since the plot wasn’t bad.
Came for the title, left with nothing good.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Not much to say for this cast of fast talking, self destructive characters with zero build. Most of the dialogue and occurrences do not move the plot forward. When we were finally getting somewhere I looked at my Kindle progress and I was 93% in. Woof. A shame since the plot wasn’t bad.
Came for the title, left with nothing good.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
September 17, 2022
Funny, engrossing, and unpredictable. This plot drew me in from the very beginning and kept me turning pages. I always enjoy a story with a Pygmalion element to it and this was no exception--I loved watching Ellie transform as she settled into her new life in N.Y.C.
I have to say my favorite character is perhaps meant to be the villain––a hapless and often drug-addled advertising executive named Guy Danziger. Masterful writing sprinkled with thoughtful insights on what happens when lots of money meets continually unchecked bad behavior!
I have to say my favorite character is perhaps meant to be the villain––a hapless and often drug-addled advertising executive named Guy Danziger. Masterful writing sprinkled with thoughtful insights on what happens when lots of money meets continually unchecked bad behavior!
January 28, 2024
This book is terrible. The writing is so overwrought with adjectives and adverbs that it felt like a teenager’s diary. The characters were cardboard cutouts. I wouldn’t have let my high school writing class get away with this stuff. As well, I had a hard time believing this book was written by a woman. The obsession with Eleanor’s breasts was bizarre. Every time she puts of a new outfit a description of how it accentuates her breasts follows. And finally, the male characters are mostly shitty people who are given way too much grace in this novel. Too bad. The premise seemed good.
July 18, 2022
Thank you to She Writes Press for sending me an early copy via NetGalley to review.
I couldn’t finish this book. Around 20% in I realised this book wasn’t really for me- the characters were bland, there didn’t really seem to be a plot line and there didn’t really seem to be much direction overall. I tried to get further into it, hoping it would improve but it stayed the same. Others might enjoy this but it simply wasn’t for me.
I couldn’t finish this book. Around 20% in I realised this book wasn’t really for me- the characters were bland, there didn’t really seem to be a plot line and there didn’t really seem to be much direction overall. I tried to get further into it, hoping it would improve but it stayed the same. Others might enjoy this but it simply wasn’t for me.
April 9, 2023
engaging read of romance and drama
AR Taylor has spun a web of deception and debauchery that delights. Her dialogue sings and the characters are delightfully complex yet simplistic in their animal drives. Eleanor is such an innocent with a heat of silver. Jon has ambition, but his soft spot for Walter drew me in and in spite of his greed, I liked him. Ultimately the book is about fate and how we cannot fight what is right.
AR Taylor has spun a web of deception and debauchery that delights. Her dialogue sings and the characters are delightfully complex yet simplistic in their animal drives. Eleanor is such an innocent with a heat of silver. Jon has ambition, but his soft spot for Walter drew me in and in spite of his greed, I liked him. Ultimately the book is about fate and how we cannot fight what is right.
Read
August 31, 2022I can’t really give this book a fair rating because I skipped chapters because the writing was so choppy and the POVs changed out of nowhere. For the most part I just didn’t know what was going on at any given time.
I was so excited when Booksparks sent me a gifted copy of this because it gives a lot of Finlay Donovan vibes in the synopsis, unfortunately it just didn’t work out for me!
I was so excited when Booksparks sent me a gifted copy of this because it gives a lot of Finlay Donovan vibes in the synopsis, unfortunately it just didn’t work out for me!
January 16, 2023
A boring book from start to finish. Read like a book that was put on the shelf a decade ago and someone convinced the author to just publish it anyway. The story is confusing and filled with endless plot lines that lead to nowhere. Gave it 2 stars because the end was conclusive. Can’t win them all.
February 10, 2023
Thank you for offering me to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I was initially intrigued by the title of A.R. Taylor's book, Call Me When You're Dead, and its description sounded exciting; however, when it came to actually reading the book I found myself wanting something more. The plot itself was a bit lacking and I wasn't able to get truly invested in it.
I was initially intrigued by the title of A.R. Taylor's book, Call Me When You're Dead, and its description sounded exciting; however, when it came to actually reading the book I found myself wanting something more. The plot itself was a bit lacking and I wasn't able to get truly invested in it.
July 5, 2022
This ARC was provided to me via Kindle, from She Writes Press and #NetGalley. Thank you for the opportunity to preview and review. Opinions expressed are completely my own.
Slow build to an enjoyable mystery that was fun to unwind.
Slow build to an enjoyable mystery that was fun to unwind.
July 17, 2022
Reviewed for NetGalley:
I did not get into this page from the very first page. I tried and tried to continue, but I didn't get much further, unfortunately.
Not a fan of the third person narrative descriptors, just didn't work for me.
I did not get into this page from the very first page. I tried and tried to continue, but I didn't get much further, unfortunately.
Not a fan of the third person narrative descriptors, just didn't work for me.
August 19, 2022
The bus from Ithaca to NYC takes nearly five hours at best. Why is this woman commuting there regularly? Surely a medical librarian knows how to book a hotel. Ugh. I couldn’t stomach the stupidity in this book.
Read
July 11, 2022I am reading this for Booklist. There's a lot to say about this novel. Just need to figure out how to put my words in order.
September 19, 2022
DNF bored and just didn't care about the mystery or the characters.
October 4, 2022
misleading synopsis and title. I recommend reading this book without even looking at the synopsis and just going in blind.
November 7, 2022
Great book. So fun. Memorable characters. Very witty and exciting with a big heart at the end. Fluid and sometimes, breakneck pace. Should be a film.
January 1, 2023
i just think books about ad agencies and arizona aren’t for me no disrespect
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews